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I don’t spread around that I want to be a novelist. It’s not that I’m shy or feel too inadequate to call myself a writer; it’s because of the crazy reactions I get from people.
The Q&A Session: Often people tell me they have a book and ask how to get it published. Talk about a broad question. Someone on an airplane asked me this when we were going to land in 30 minutes. I gave him a crash-course in query letters, suggested some books to read, and most likely scared him away from publishing completely.
The Bandwagon-Jumper: When I told people in college I wanted to be a novelist, they always, always, always said the same thing: “Oh, like Stephanie Meyer?” Even my professors said this. I always responded the same way: “No. Not like Stephanie Meyer.” I write mainstream and historical fiction; I don’t write YA and I don’t like vampires.
This bothers me because they assume I sat down, read a famous book, and said, “I want to do that. It looks easy and I could make a lot of money.” I’m not a bandwagon-jumper.
The Advocate: I’m surprised at how many people give me pep talks. Not too long ago someone asked what I want to do with my life and I admitted I want to write. She said, “That’s great! You should write everyday and take creative writing classes. I know you can do it.” I don’t think this girl even knew my last name, but she knew I could “do it.” Then she asked, “Have you ever written anything before?” Instead of saying I had finished manuscripts, I just said, “Yeah, a little.”
The Head-Tapper: I can tell when people don’t take writing seriously. They all but say, “That’s nice.” Once I refused to give away the ending of my book to someone and she rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, like I’m ever going to read it.” That was unusually blatant. Most head-tappers just ask, “What else do you want to do?” I always told them I wanted to be an editor to make them happy.
The Readers: These are the people I like. They don’t know anything about writing and they don’t care, but they like books and they want to know what I’m writing. I tell them about my book and they tell me what a great idea it is and make me feel warm and bubbly inside. What I really love is when the same people ask me years later how the book is going.
The Professionals: These people are my favorites. They recognize writing is a job like any other, wish me luck, and go on to talk about their own jobs.
Do you tell people you like to write? How do they usually respond?
Dan Potter says
I'm rather incapable of not tell people about my current projects if they are foolish enough to ask. I suppose that will fade with time
Women's Fiction Writer says
I tell people I write – but I rarely mention I wrote a novel that's on submission, because then they follow-up and no one really understands the publishing business. I'm happy to tell people about my freelance writing and reading and editing – they "get" that. I also mention I've had short stories published. It's concrete and I can email them the stories or links if they ask. I figure people will know I've written a novel when it sells! Maybe that's the easy way out, but for now, unless it's other writers, I don't say a thing.
Damyanti says
To most people, I'm a housewife. Or at the most, a freelance writer! To a very limited few I mention the word "fiction"…and I pick and choose these.
This post made me smile 🙂
James Scott Bell says
I was never able to say I was "a writer" until I had four or five books out. Finally, I could squeeze it out if I had to. It's a little easier now. The response I find sad and funny at the same time is, "Oh yeah? I've got a great story, a great one! I'm going to start it today. Can you tell me how to get an agent?"
Angelia Lynn Schultz says
Teralyn,
Have you been successful in finding an agent yet? My first three rejection letters have left me wishing no one in the world ever knew I want to be a novelist. Everyone thought, finished manuscript = immediate publication. So now what to say? I usually just say, "I'm revising." It's true and it keeps them at bay… And I tell myself that I am a novelist. I'm an unpublished one, by a novelist nonetheless.
Angelia
angelia.schultz@gmail.com
Chris Phillips says
Teralyn, don't hide who you truly are (a huge Stephanie Meyer fan.) I get mostly head-tappers, and what I like to call "whereareyoukiddingohletsjustfakeasmilers"
mapelba says
I don't tell people unless in some way I can't avoid it comes up. Yes, I've met all those same people.
Fleur Bradley: says
Not very often, unless they're other writers. I thought I would be telling everyone once I got a book contract, but oddly, I keep it to myself more so now. It's difficult to explain why the book is not coming out until 2013, people just don't seem to get that. And I'm too lazy to explain 🙂
Michael Malone says
this made me laugh because I recognise each of the types you detail. Now that I have a book accepted by a publisher(May 2012)I tell everyone within earshot that I'm a writer. But while I was searching for that elusive deal I was picky as to whom I told. People who don't know how it works kinda think you must be a crap writer if you don't have a deal already – I mean how difficult can it be, celebrities do it all the time – and it gets wearing trying to describe the process.
Lisa Desrochers says
For all the reasons you listed, the only person who knew I was writing was my oldest daughter, who I started writing for. When I got agented, I finally told my husband. Only after my book sold did I tell anyone else. My mother still hasn't forgiven me =)
Hillsy says
Nah.
It's a bit like telling people you play the guitar; one or two people might be genuinely interested but in the main most will be hoping you don't pull out your iPod and say "my demo's on here – Listen!"
I wouldn't wish that on anyone – course if your currently single is No.48 in the charts at least you've got a legitimate reason for bragging
PZCherokee says
I know what you mean Nathan! I first usually tell people "I work from home." As a visual artist and a writer I'm pretty sure people don't take that too seriously and think of someone as a pipe dreamer.
Craig Allen says
I tell people I write. Usually they're curious. "What?" which I interpret to mean what genres or fiction vs. non-fiction. At that point, the conversation can fall apart.
If they're big fans of vampires, or wizards, or whatever the current trend is, they're usually disappointed with "historical fiction" and "some non-fiction" as an answer. That's fine. I get that.
On the other hand, if they're interested, and I describe my current projects, they sometimes feign interest or tune out. That's fine too.
Only rarely do I get the "how do you do that?" questions. On a recent flight back from research in Germany, I found myself doing a hour-long explanation of history…which was actually rather fun. At least she really wanted to know.
JMCOOPER says
I've only recently begun to tell people that I'm a writer because of the strange reactions as well. Often people have an awkward reaction, unless I'm in a writer's group or at a conference–and thank God for that.
Confidence and credits also help. I started a second degree in Creative Writing which helps me feel like I have a credential. And then one of my novels made it to the top 50 in the 2011 Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest, so I've even started posting to Facebook that I'm a writer.
No turning back now!
Beth Navarro says
I think I relate to every single one of those reactions. But despite all of the I tell people I write. Most of the time I don't specify on what because I will get the "Oh Like Harry Potter?" Answer. Um yeah. Exactly like that.
kaleighsomers says
Wow, I must be lucky. I tell people I want to be a writer and most of them respond favorably. Maybe I'm not telling a bunch of strangers though. And like Women's Fiction Writer said, I don't tell people exactly where I'm at if I've tried querying something or any specifics.
Kevin Lynn Helmick says
Yes and no. It depends on who I'm talking to. But yes, for the most part. Maybe it's like a promise to myself, to speak the words. It a commitment after that. You said, now you HAVE to do it, finish it, whatever.
The most curious response I've gotten is from my brothers when they dicovered I'd written a couple books, the words "Kevin's retired," started popping up.
I still have now idea what wring has to do with being retired. lol I've always done it, and it's not all I do.
K.L. Brady says
I tell people if they ask what I do. It's easier to say writer or real estate agent than say what I really do.
I'm so feeling you on the Q&A Session. OMG! EVERYONE I meet has written a book or "was gonna" write one. LOL This is always followed by the old…
"And, oh…by the way…is your agent looking for new authors??? I queried 100 times and keep getting rejected." I'm like, "Only 100?"
Sara says
I've started to. Frankly, the worst was telling my parental units (bio and otherwise), because I knew they would instantly want to read WIPs and I would have to tell them they could read what I published. But we're past that now.
People often ask what I'm writing about, and I used to be shy of telling them. However, more recently I've found that composing a good answer to that question is the same as composing a pitch! So I'm doing it more.
I actually told a professor of economics about my YA novel last winter, and he got all excited about my premise. You never can tell.
Erin Brambilla says
I've always been an open book (haha). In my experience, people understand things more than we give them credit for. I'm positive I'll get a lot of "When is that book coming out?" questions, but I'll just take it as an opportunity to educate people on the subject. So far everyone I know has been very supportive. In a way, telling them about my endeavor is motivating. I'm someone who would quit if I didn't have to be held accountable. Now people KNOW that I'm writing, so I should do my best to keep to my word. I figure honesty is the best policy. If no one knows I write, who will buy my books (hopefully)? If no one knows I write, who will I turn to when I need a shoulder to cry on after receiving a rejection? I'm just a person who needs people, I think. Though I can understand why not everyone feels this way.
Mr. D says
I prefer not to tell, because then you get the questions. You know… How's the book? How's the writing? And the worst question of them all… Are you done yet?
uch says
i have a hard time saying im a writer. when i do, people ask me who my publisher is or what the book is about and have they read any of my stuff. and why is it that whenever you start telling what your book is about, it always sounds moronic? i just started a blog (www.kimkorson.blogspot.com) to begin feeling more comfortable putting myself out there (can i shamelessly plug here?!). every time i put a new post up, i want to take to the bed. so now, i have a fiction and non-fiction book in the works. i tell the people i write but then high tail it out of there before they ask their questions.
Melody says
Ugh, I've gotten all of these answers! And my favorites are the last two, too. A quick, "That's cool," is good enough for me. The worst is getting advice from people whose only connection to the publishing process is an author interview they heard on NPR. <– This has happened. :/ 🙂 I do tell people that I write, though, because it's full-time right now for me, and one must give some sort of answer! 🙂
Cynthia Lee says
I can't believe the Stephanie Meyer comments. As if she's the only novelist out there. The hell?
No, I don't tell people I write. My closest friends know and they sometimes say things like "maybe you'll be a bestselling author and you'll be rich and famous!" Then I try to tell them that most authors never get rich and their eyes start to glaze over.
Laurie Boris says
I usually don't tell people I write unless they ask. I don't like to talk about projects in progress, but only tell them the most general terms. What I usually hear is “Are you published?” Or that they want to write a novel someday (sigh), or that they have a brother-in-law who published a novel and made no money. But most people are really nice and supportive. One woman even asked me to write down my name and the name of my book so she would make sure to get it.
Cat says
I do a lot of corporate writing–marketing, technical, sales, etc. When you tell people you write for this company or that, you get yet a different and equally as entertaining response: "How did you get that?"
"Well, one day I saw a flyer at the laundry mat, and the rest is history!"
Barbara Kloss says
This is a great post, and very timely for me. I've been trying to answer this question for myself "To tell, or not to tell…" Mostly because when I do eventually get around to telling someone what I do in my "spare" time, I get one of three reactions: (1) That's great! I'm so impressed you wrote a book (2) That's nice. *eyes glaze over and yawn* or (3) Gosh, where do you find the time? (last time I checked, we all have the same 24 hours…? Thanks for devaluing all my hard work, btw.)
It's nice knowing I'm not the only one out there dealing with the plethora of reactions. I'm going to employ some of your answers…like the fact you say you edit. That's a good one 🙂
Dianna Zaragoza says
It's definitely an aspiration you want to back up with actual written words, but the day I was able to openly admit that I wrote fully-formed projects was a big day for me.
Most people don't ask, and aren't really interested. That's fine. I'll tell people if they ask, and if they drop it, so do I.
It's also a quirk of mine that I never talk about a project unless I've done at least a first draft. If I talk about the project before then, I lose all enthusiasm for it. So there's not much to talk about until my work is fully written out anyway.
Stephanie says
I've told many people I write…friends, coworkers, family. For the most part I get enthusiastic responses and find many beta readers this way. The most frustrating thing about letting people know, is that they constantly ask if I have submitted them yet and can't understand why I haven't. I am constantly explaining how stressful and difficult it is for me and that right now, I'm just enjoying writing. I'll get to that point when the book and I are ready.
Mira says
I don't tend to tell people I write unless they start sharing about their own creative efforts. Otherwise, it's too personal.
Interesting question!
Rachel Hansen says
I loved this! It is so perfectly true (especially the head-tappers) Thanks
NanC says
I tell all my friends, everyone has been amazing. I've had friends call people they are connected to to help me. I couldn't do this without the help and support I've gotten.
Scott says
Totally agree with Readers. Everyone else is going to take turns be skeptical, pitying, and comparing you with garbage pop fiction writer X.
But the voracious hobby readers are genuinely interested because they know books and love stories. For them, any new book is another shot at wonder, and the more the merrier. I draw a lot of my motivation from listening to these guys talk books to each other.
Facing50Blog.com says
Being an enthusiastic sort of person I made the mistake of telling some people I write, but as I only write on a successful website, and I'm still waiting to be published that was a bit daft! They all wanted to know where they could buy my novel. Imagine their disappointment to discover I am only a wannabe.
VAL says
I love this. I once told someone that I love writing and hope to publish a book and she replied,"How could you ever write a book". I left the conversation right there. I write daily and no Im not published, but I have won writing competitions and will continue to work hard at my craft. I don't mention writing to anymore.
D.G. Hudson says
Yes, I do tell people I write. I will tell them if asked how long and how much I've written. But if you're not currently published, if you can't tell them which bookstore you're in, you're not a writer to the majority of people. You're a wannabe.
Writer friends, however, make up for all those inconsiderate comments. They speak the same language, they deal with the same frustrations and highs of the writing life. Even blogs by other writers can offer some support, when the subject is timely.
Remember that writing seems easy because we all do it, but writing to entertain or edify takes a certain creative turn of mind. We, as writers, know it's hard. We, as writers, also know it's a great source of pleasure when we've completed something. (so we can start something else,of course)
Good discussion topic, Teralyn.
Lindsay Ribar says
The last two, Reader and Professional, are definitely my favorites. But one particular subset of the Professionals gets on my nerves: The Belittler. In my case, it's that guy (or girl… well, okay, usually a guy, so far) who goes "You got a book deal? Well, you're in publishing already, so it must have been easy."
Sure, dude, it was SUPER EASY. To be fair, being in the industry does make a lot of the business steps easier (making connections with agents, and my agent in particular; understanding what I was looking for in an editor; knowing what contract terms mean) — but the part of the job where I actually sit down and write a book? And then scrap half of it and rewrite it when I realize it's not good enough? And then revise the living hell out of the rewritten version, four times over? And that's not even counting the work I did on the book that DIDN'T get published…
Oh yeah. Being in the industry makes all that stuff so much easier! 🙂
Anonymous says
I'm a former lawyer/stay at home mom so all anyone wants to know is when I'm going back to work (law practice).
It's nearly impossible to mention writing without sounding like a flake or a hobbyist.
J. Viser says
I tell close family, friends and others who I trust. I don't tell strangers or make a big deal out of it. In fact, I write under a pen name, as my views on certain issues may not be appreciated by clients in the industry in which I work.
I would rather have the ideas in my book (eventually books) out there, rather than advertising myself.
Jacqueline says
I've been a professional writer for a while now. I can feel your pain. Probably at least once a week I get someone ask me how they can become a writer. It's not a matter of not telling them I write… my name is out there in publications and they see it, along with my picture at times, beside the byline. Plus, I'm proud to be a writer. I have worked hard to get where I am at, so I don't mind telling people. However, people don't understand that writing is a profession and you don't just throw your hat in the ring one day, without having done your homework and studying first. Besides, when someone asks me how to be a writer I feel they have already failed the test. Every writer must also be a good researcher. They could easily answer their own question by doing some research.
Sammie says
I tell people I write, I tell people I'm an author even though I've gone the self-publishing route. I don't care for their responses because I'm living my dream and that's more then I can say for most people…I never started to write to get fame or fortune I started to write because I love to become someone else and I love to share it with others if I make a little money along the way – great! But getting an agent etc etc is not important what's important to me is that people are reading what I write. As far as I'm concerned I'm a published author and now with EBooks and places like Lulu and Smashwords it makes it a lot easier to promote yourself.
Josin L. McQuein says
I don't bring it up, and generally don't like answering the question if asked. (Of course that could have something do with the inevitable follow-up questions about "Have I read anything you wrote" and "When's your book going to be out?)
I will say that telling someone I write is better than telling them I don't write "real" books. Because, you know, MG and YA aren't "real" books or anything.
>.<
Tanya Reimer says
I've been writing novels in "secret" forever. Just recently announced it to the world via my new blog. I'm just learning to deal with all those great supporters you discribe in your blog.
I also get the over-zealous (not annoying, oh no) friends. Geesh. They actually demand I hand over a produced book. Like magic.
Saira Mokhtari says
Besides people in writing groups and guilds on-line, I personally, rarely tell strangers that I want to write out the story ideas that keep coming to my head. I usually only tell friends and they think it's cool. It's my parents, mostly my dad who tells people that my brother and I write.
I think some people I tell, when they find out Edward writes as well, think I'm one of the band-wagon type. They think I'm in it because he is (we do almost everything together) or because of money. I have a lot of story ideas in my head, though, and what I really want to do is work with foreign languages in the Marine Corps. Writing would just be a fun side job for me.
Ranae Rose says
Yes, I do tell anyone who asks. Because I'm stubborn, proud and just about immune to totally ridiculous reactions. LOL I loved your list of stereotypes – I've encountered them all too. As a kid/young adult I would tell adults who asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up that I wanted to write. They would usually tell me to be realistic and go to nursing school. Now that I'm older and have already gone to college I think people are more prone to just roll their eyes and give up on me as a lost cause than to try to shove a stethescope into my hands.
Munk says
I don't mind saying "I am writing a book". I also don't mind when, as you say, someone asks how it is going. But, when someone pointedly asks, "you are STILL writing the same book!?" I slap them.
Vandersun says
Thank you so much for posting this, Nathan. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way about "coming out" as a writer.
Heidi says
I occasionally tell people I write, but it depends on how I think they will react. I get quite a few Reader reactions (and those are lovely) but mostly I get the Head-tapper ones.
Still, if people ask me what I want to be or what I want to do with my life, I'll be honest with them.
Reena Jacobs says
The only people I tell I write are my close family members (brother, children, parents, but not my in-laws) and a couple of friends. When I say couple, I really mean two. Okay… maybe three 🙂
The main reason I'm such a closet writer is I don't trust people not to judge me for writing erotica. Perhaps if I venture out of the genre I'll be more inclined to share.
As for strangers and online folks, I'm quite a bit more open. The most annoying reaction I receive is strangers asking for free copies of my work.
🙂 Contrary to popular belief, being paid for my work is important. When I find out my "new found friend" is a web designer, I don't ask him/her to revamp my website for free.
The reality is publishing is a business. Free copies are reserved for various promotions.
Ben says
I tend to stay quiet about it. It's my thing.
My stories and for the readers, but writing is for me. You resumed perfectly why