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I don’t spread around that I want to be a novelist. It’s not that I’m shy or feel too inadequate to call myself a writer; it’s because of the crazy reactions I get from people.
The Q&A Session: Often people tell me they have a book and ask how to get it published. Talk about a broad question. Someone on an airplane asked me this when we were going to land in 30 minutes. I gave him a crash-course in query letters, suggested some books to read, and most likely scared him away from publishing completely.
The Bandwagon-Jumper: When I told people in college I wanted to be a novelist, they always, always, always said the same thing: “Oh, like Stephanie Meyer?” Even my professors said this. I always responded the same way: “No. Not like Stephanie Meyer.” I write mainstream and historical fiction; I don’t write YA and I don’t like vampires.
This bothers me because they assume I sat down, read a famous book, and said, “I want to do that. It looks easy and I could make a lot of money.” I’m not a bandwagon-jumper.
The Advocate: I’m surprised at how many people give me pep talks. Not too long ago someone asked what I want to do with my life and I admitted I want to write. She said, “That’s great! You should write everyday and take creative writing classes. I know you can do it.” I don’t think this girl even knew my last name, but she knew I could “do it.” Then she asked, “Have you ever written anything before?” Instead of saying I had finished manuscripts, I just said, “Yeah, a little.”
The Head-Tapper: I can tell when people don’t take writing seriously. They all but say, “That’s nice.” Once I refused to give away the ending of my book to someone and she rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, like I’m ever going to read it.” That was unusually blatant. Most head-tappers just ask, “What else do you want to do?” I always told them I wanted to be an editor to make them happy.
The Readers: These are the people I like. They don’t know anything about writing and they don’t care, but they like books and they want to know what I’m writing. I tell them about my book and they tell me what a great idea it is and make me feel warm and bubbly inside. What I really love is when the same people ask me years later how the book is going.
The Professionals: These people are my favorites. They recognize writing is a job like any other, wish me luck, and go on to talk about their own jobs.
Do you tell people you like to write? How do they usually respond?
I tell people but usually don't diviluge what I write. I quickly got bored of the rolled eyes and giggles when I mentioned romance. And the obvious first question is it erotic. *sigh*. Some people have said, "oh if you're published it must be easy. Maybe i'll write a book." Ouch! Others assume I am rolling in cash…if only. 🙁
To strangers, I name my 'other job' as an occupation, if only to avoid the people you mentioned, Teralyn (except the readers, of course!). However, most of my friends and people at work know that I'm working on a book because they knew it was the main reason I went fulltime where I am at the moment and quit my previous job. As friends are, they are pretty supportive, plus I get some freelance copywriting work from the boss! 🙂
I say I write, they say, "Well, when's your book coming out?"
I say, "I'm working on a manuscript but so far I've published, 'blah, blah, blah."
They, also, attempt the cheer you on approach, "Remember, writer's are beginners like you that never quit. So, you can call yourself a writer until you die."
I say I write, they say, "Well, when's your book coming out?"
I say, "I'm working on a manuscript but so far I've published, 'blah, blah, blah."
They, also, attempt the cheer you on approach, "Remember, writer's are beginners like you that never quit. So, you can call yourself a writer until you die."
I've spent a lifetime being a serious economist (Columbia U., that's how serious!) and NEVER daring admit to anyone that (1) I write fiction and (2) I paint!
Now that I'm retired I do it all and live my childhood dreams: I write, paint and blog! What fun!
But I still don't tell people I write – at most, I admit I blog! Amazing, it's easier to say you blog than to admit to fiction writing! Wonder why…
I, too, have dealt with these responses, but my favorite is what I call, 'the deer in the headlight' look. Their eyes glaze over, they purse their lips as they try to wrap their mind around the thought and finally nod their heads slowly and stammer out, "Oh, that's, um, great." If I had a nickel…
When I tell someone I write books, they then tell me what I should write about. For example: "I'm working on an adult novel now."
Reply: "You know, you should write chapter books for kids. Kids love reading stuff like that."
Um…thanks.
I loved this! So true.
I have become more comfortable about telling people I am writer, I guess because I'm older now and I've been doing it for a loooong time.
The question that I usually get, if the person is mostly a stranger/new acquaintance, is "Oh, what have you published?" and because I am currently a non-published novelist I have to admit that, other than a few letters to the opinion section of the newspaper years ago, I haven't gotten anything into 'official print' yet (I do write a blog–does that count?).
The whole 'published' = working writer, non-published = hobby writer still irks me but I've chosen to just ignore it and speak true to where I am in my 'writing path'.
Sometimes I pick up a little resentment I guess because I'm 'following my dream' in a real way, making time for it in my life, and they might not be.
Most kind people just wish me luck in getting published. And often they are curious and interested in the process.
Great post!
Julie Johnson
@julieejohnsonn
busywriting.net
Great post, Nathan, and so true. I've met all of those people! When I first started writing I told everyone what I was doing, but now I'm more selective. I tell people it's more of a hobby, since it really is – until I make enough money to support myself with it. I'm keeping my day job until then, LOL.
Nancy
http://www.nancylauzon.com
The Chick Dick Blog
https://nancylauzon.blogspot.com/
My cousin (a reader) heard via my mother that I am pursuing a writing career. He reacted with the most enthusiasm I've encounters so far. He was eager to help me "broaden my horizons" as he put it, which consisted of sitting me down to watch THE DARK CRYSTLE, a 1980's film featuring puppets, essentially the MUPPETS electrocuted.
I tell as few people as possible.
I’ve only started writing seriously enough to call myself a fiction writer in the past year. I tell people I’m a writer, but the conversation generally goes toward my current job as a marketing writer rather than novels. But like you, when I do bring it up, I get some funny reactions. Some, mainly good friends and family, are enthusiastic and supportive. One coworker I told asks me every weeks how the novel’s coming, as if it will be published any day. As if I didn’t have a third of a manuscript finished and at least another year of revisions after that before it even went to an agent. Awkward.
Idon't like to tell people that I write, probably because I'm only 6 chapters in to my first novel and I think it will be at least 2 years before I finish. Also, when they find out how little I've written I get the "uh huh" look, like I'll never finish…
Wonderful post, Teralyn.
Yeah, I was a closet writer for a good 3-4 years, then I got bored of hunkering down my basement, writing stories only I, and my 3-year-old who can't read, can see. I'm still not quite out and about with it. I don't go telling my neighbors, for instance, that I fancy myself a writer. I did start blogging, and that was a huge relief to have cyberspace strangers now cyberspace friends validate me as a writer. I guess I should have validated myself first, but sometimes, it's just hard, right?
Oooo, you nailed it. Great post!
Thank you, Teralyn. AND Nathan! that rebel, Olivia
Interesting post. Like others, I occasionally tell people I write, but I try hard not to let the conversation go to whether or not I have an agent or whether I've had a novel published. Apparently short stories don't count. Interesting, however, that if the conversation then turns to 'day' jobs and I admit to having one, invariably someone will comment that if I'd work harder, I might be a 'real' author. Part of the reason I hate cocktail parties.
When I tell people I retired early to write, I get one of dozen looks (and sometimes more than one) where I can read their minds in their eyes:
1. The Blank Stare–"I have no idea what that looks like!"
2. The Glazed-over Glare–"I would never do that if you paid me."
3. The Eye Roll (accompanied with a deep sigh)–"What crazy story are you writing NOW?"
4. The Narrowed Eyes–"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
5. The Shut Eyes–"What a waste of time."
6. The Confused Frown–"That's what you said last year. You're still working on the same book?"
7. The Slow Blink–"Oh brother! That's a cop out on life."
8. The Fast Flutter–"Don't tell me about your book AGAIN! Isn't there anything NEW in your life?"
9. The Wide-eyed Shock–"You're still REVISING? How long does it take to REVISE a BOOK?"
10. The Wistful Look–"I wish I could spend all day just thinking, and reading, and writing. How much does it pay?" (after which I laugh)
11. The Jealous Eye–"I started writing a novel but never finished. I can't imagine writing a WHOLE BOOK!"
12. The Twinkle (and my favorite which only happens about 2% of the time)–"I think I could do that. Would you share with me what you do?"
Anonymous 7:45 pm, THE DARK CRYSTAL = the MUPPETS electrocuted? Exactly!
I tell everybody! And I really mean everybody. All my family and friends, perfect strangers, over and over again, just in case anybody ever forgets. I talk of little else. I'm looking into tee-shirts, bumper stickers and maybe a big sandwich board. Then I'll ring everybody in the phone-book to tell them. In alphabetical order. Starting with New York City.
It's wonderful how people's eyes glaze over with sheer delight as I regale them with every last detail of my boundless ideas and imagination and achievement. Sometimes they even faint from the pleasure, or run away because there's not enough room in their minds for it all.
Harry Potter? Stephanie Meyer? Is that the limit of people's ambition? I'm thinking nothing less than Agatha Christie, two billion books sold and counting.
My main worry is, no matter how many yachts you buy, you can only water-ski behind one at a time. I am very disappointed such a major problem is so rarely discussed in writers' blogs and forums. All suggestions are welcome.
I tell people I write, but not immediately – I'm getting better at saying "yeah, I write novels and stuff…" lol. I must admit it's a relief when they don't want to know aaaaaaaaall about it though.
Yes, I tell people I write. I have really enjoyed reading the reactions from people to Authors…great!
The one thing that does feel awkward is many people ask me to write THEIR story for them. Or better yet, they want to give me IDEAS for stories.
On one hand I appreciate the faith they have in me. On the other hand, I barely have time to work on my own ideas.
I just tell myself to smile and be happy!
Keep Writing!
Mary Staller
I find it hard to say I'm a writer even after two books that I've published, one in editing and another I'm writing now. I work full time as a teacher and I write "as a hobby" otherwise I wouldn't be able to survive. God knows, it's not for the money. What money?? I'm with you, it's part shy, part humble, part what have you done latley? The best comments come from my kids, Mom why aren't you famous yet? They just see me tap tap away. My response to them – most writers are not famous!!!!!! Isn't that write? I do like your blog!
Chrissy.
Made me laugh. You've apparently met my friends.
The one time I went to a local writers' group, there were only two other people there; one was a veterinarian that was writing her memoirs and wasn't worried at all about ever getting them published, and the other was a girl that had taken up writing because she really liked the Harry Potter movies. She hadn't read the books. Me personally? I get nothing but head-tappers.
Great post, and I loved the comments, too! I am both a writer and an editor. I've gotten many of the responses others mention when I talk about my writing life. Did anyone mention bemused silence, and then a change of subject?
When I talk about being an editor, most people either say, "Any bestsellers I'd know?" (too bad that even books that sell hundreds of thousands of copies don't necessarily hit bestseller lists, and saying so only makes a person seem defensive!).
Or they say, "That must be fun, to sit around and read all day." When I acquired books for NYC publishers, if I'd sat around reading all day, I'd have been fired. Almost all reading and editing were done on one's own time.
Or they appropriate the job by proudly saying, "I'm one of those people who spots every typo and punctuation error!" OK, and did you spot the chapter that should have been written, but wasn't?
Grrr.
when i told my older(by 13 years) sister in 2007 I was co-writing a friend's memoir, her reply was mmhmmm. She already thinks my freelancing for a newspaper is a waste of time and was a childhood fantasy I should wake from and get a real job. But when the book came out along with articles, she suddenly needed to have me help write HER memoir….to which I said NO. She threw the 'I am your big sister" line and I said NO, again. After her belittling, I've not told her about any future book projects including a novel collaboration with a classmate and two e-books I am publishing this summer.
I used to say "I just stay home with my children," then one day it dawned on me why do I use the word 'just' and since then I say I stay home with my children and I'm a writer. The response I generally receive is "what do you write?" followed quickly by "what have you published?" and those two questions are a bit harder to answer!
Oh thank god I saw your article early on, I just decided a couple of days ago to shift careers and become a writer! (mid career mind you ) from the initial reaction I got from closest family members, I decided I shall not share this with anyone at all! And I don't even aspire to be a novelist! Well I will definitely keep your experience in mind as I struggle through making it through this shift ( which I'm extremely excited about by the way ). Thanks again.
J.T. Shea: When I start my soon-to-be-wildly-popular-even-so-popular-as-to-incite-a-seven-figure-book-deal-tv-show-and-film-series blog: The Wonder of Being ME, How To Remedy the Problem of 1 Famous Novelist/4 Luxury Yachts/and only 1 pair of waterskis shall be my first topic.
On Coming Out: My husband tells them for me…and I'm pretty sure Dante's got a circle for him.
So, no pressure here…
It's been a few years now…
No book deal yet?
But these days, I don't let other people's expectations or reactions…other people's STUFF get to me. Rarely even registers.
RE: OPS (Other People's STUFF)
I figure, if nobody's dead, who gives a flying monkey?
NickB
Great, NickB! I look forward to your blog. The obvious solution is a line from each yacht to the skier, but we can't be obvious if we're writers, now can we?
Your husband sounds like one of those embarrassing parents who boasts to everyone about everything his or her kid does!
Here's my rule: You can't say you are a writer until you can buy a car or buy a home with your income as a writer.
Tough? Oh well. There's a reason why this question is being asked; no one can take the writing profession seriously if everyone and their grandma claims to be a writer.
Only you can make the title of writer means something again.
googledisappointsme.blogspot.com
J.T. Shea: Maybe from boat-to-boat via an O-ring, but the boats must be driven by A)sharks B)gun-wielding terrorist drug-dealers or C) small children who got ahold of their parents' Ambien…depending on your genre.
And on the husband YOU GOT IT! I started doing Pilates and he's like: "Feel those abs!" and he Grabs People's Hands and puts them on my stomach! "Isn't she HOT?"
-I don't like it when you say that.
-I'm just proud of you.
-But I don't like it. It's embarrassing. And coupled with the fact that you kinda ignore me when I don't look good, or when there's a more attractive woman in the room, it kinda makes me feel like you don't LOVE me. Or like you only see the outside. Kinda trophy-like, y'know?
-Squirrel! (exit husband)
I can't think of a time when one of your posts didn't make me laugh. Thanks J.T.
NickB
Gawd no. Sounds as painful as pregnancy, only instead of constantly being asked, "When are you due", "How are you feeling" and "Do you know if it's a boy or girl", the incessant questions would be "What's your book about", "Have you published anything", and "Why not". With pregnancy, while you can't hide it like you can hide being a writer, at least it's over in 9 months!
Still a closet writer, I'm afraid to say….and it sounds like I might want to keep it that way until I need my friends to go buy it (fingers crossed). Another blogger had some funny things to say on the same topic though: https://aemayer.com/blog/2011/08/writerface/
I get mostly head scratchers and advocates. What frustrates me is when relatives ask "How many books do you have published" and I'm like, "Um, I haven't written a full manuscript yet…"
I think some people are intimidated by writers, especially men.
Recently, I've been interviewing for jobs. When they ask about hobbies or personal achievements, I would mention that I was a writer or a published author. They would ask what kind of writer, and I'd say literary and leave it at that. I didn't want to go on about all the YA I write, and I don't think they would have cared.
When I saw that this was turning people off, I stopped mention literature and discussed the more formal work I've done: tech manuals, journal articles, and marketing plans. Again, just a real bland, empty, almost a turned off look.
Anyway, I'm not gonna mention that I'm a writer anymore. Employers don't want people who are intelligent. Now, you could say they fear people who know how to use social media, but in these cases, I'm almost certain that wasn't it.
I'm in the south, by the way, so hopefully it's better elsewhere. Hopefully, it's okay to be smart and accomplished, and to be outside the proverbial box, in other states.
Only people who make enough money are real writers? I don't agree.
If you write, then you're a writer. If people read your work, then even better. Not all artists are rich. Are painters only painters if they make enough money to live off? I just don't agree.
Unfortunately, my ideas pop into my head around 2-4am when I am at work. Coworkers will ask what I am writing to which I respond "a book". Nearly everyone who asks then want to know what it is about. I evasively say, "It's hard to explain but it's a fantasy novel." If they aren't interested they drop the conversation but if they are interested they continue to pick my brain.
At my last job, everytime I saw my coworker, Ryan, he would ask how the book was coming along and if I had made any changes to it. He made me want to write more just so that I didn't disappoint him and have to say "Um…I haven't written in a while."
I'm a housewife but I am writing a novel in my down time – slowly but a bit every day. I rarely mention this to anyone but if I do I get a strange reaction. People almost act as though I didn't say it. They don't say what I would say, something like "wow, that's great!" or "that's interesting, what kind of novel?" It's almost like they are thinking "who does she think she is?" They just change the subject or something. I don't know why they think it's so odd – I've always been an copious reader, I have an English Lit degree and I am intelligent so what's so hard to believe???