One of the many things I have discovered in the course of being a blogging agent is the intense sensitivity of many writer types.
And actually, the mere fact that I typed that sentence will probably get legions of anonymous commenters up in arms about my gross insensitivity. Steel yourselves, sensitive writers! Steel!
To take the most obvious example, there’s a proud and distinguished history of authors losing their minds over bad reviews and acting badly, to the point an author has to really, really act badly for anyone to surprised anymore (but writers also happen to be inventive types and manage to find new ways).
To take another example, I can’t count the number of times in the course of writing this blog I’ve been accused of hating writers or looking down on writers or otherwise being reflective of all that is wrong with publishing today. Even aside from the fact that I’m actually a writer in my spare time, why in the world would I spend my time blogging about writers and books if I hated them? Why would I have spent seven years in this business to begin with?
Now, to be clear and fair, I’ve written a lot of words on this blog and anyone who spills this much e-ink is going to misspeak or state things inartfully from time to time. So I’m not criticizing people for taking offense occasionally. I also don’t intend to absolve agents everywhere of bad behavior or attitudes that don’t deserve to be absolved.
But still, there’s a small, vocal portion of the Internet writing community who will seize upon any teeny tiny perceived slight and use it as proof that agents really truly are haters of writers/scum of the earth/enemy of Literature with a capital L/Philistines/Luddites/Carthaginians (is that a thing?)/you name it.
It’s worth remembering during these times: agents have devoted their working lives to writers, they have typically worked their way up for years while living in expensive cities and making less than some part time temp workers, and they often work for hours on end with writers whose books they can’t sell, for which they receive absolutely no compensation. I’ve never met a single agent who is in this business for any reason other than the fact that they love writers and they love books.
But there’s just something about writing, where it’s almost as if writer types feel things more deeply and need a channel for that passion and the inevitable frustration that comes with the business. And frustration really is inevitable. No matter how successful you are there are always going to be challenges, needlessly personal bad reviews/rejections, and any number of road blocks along the way.
Channeling it into frustration with the business side of publishing, against literary agents, editors, reviewers, bookstores… you see it so often, and yet it’s just so clearly not the most productive way to be.
Anecdote.
Michael Jordan is the one of the most notorious competitors and cataloguer of slights of all time. Rumor has it he never missed an opportunity to feel slighted. The sensitive soul of an artist!
And yet: he didn’t complain (at least not publicly) when he was supposedly frozen out when he was a young All Star or when the Pistons created the “Jordan Rules,” which basically entailed knocking him senseless at every opportunity, or about the height of the rims or the length of the court or David Stern or fans or anything else. Instead he set about destroying the competition on the court.
This is probably some of the most obvious advice you’ve ever seen on the Internet, but still! I think it’s worth remembering that if you’re a writer you are most likely also a sensitive type who must steel yourself from time to time and remember to channel your passion into the proper vessel: your writing.
Mira says
Ink – thanks.
And that would be nice – to be hated because you sold 8 quatrillion books. I think I could handle that one!
And yeah, I think it just comes down to trust and surrender. You write, and have to let go of the results.
But also, to be careful. Sometimes that glittery ring looks very….glittery. But maybe it's better to let that one pass and wait until you're ready.
jjdebenedictis says
Artists should be sensitive. We wouldn't be able to harvest the depth of experience needed to create accurate portrayals of the human condition otherwise.
That said, I think this post relates to the phenomenon you discussed in your Oct 6 post, i.e. people disparaging certain novels as "trash".
Many who are scathing about the books currently on the market also go ballistic in response to any criticism of their own work.
Those two things together add up to insecurity, not sensitivity.
Terry says
I can't imagine why people think you hate writers.
I happened to see almost all the posts of that recent annonymous you finally had to cut off. It felt like a drive-by shooting. You handled it with grace and humor, as you do. And you were kind to the person as well, in spite of the barrage of personal attacks.
Sometimes, I think people are just frustrated and unfortunately take it out on you and probably other agents. It's not fair, though.
Please keep doing what you're doing. I know most of us really appreciate your advice and you deliver it with consideration, understanding and wit.
Kristi says
Constructive criticism is one of the best feedback tools through which one learns and grows – this goes for any profession. The idea that Nathan would voluntarily spend most of his waking time devoted to something he hates is ludicrous. I've learned a ton from this blog and have nothing but praise for Nathan who is always tactful if not downright gentle in his feedback. If you want to prove others wrong about your writing, then write a better book.
Lisa Dez says
First, we know you love us, Nathan! And we truly appreciate the volumes of essential information you provide us through your blogging efforts. I, for one, would never have found my amazing agent without your help.
As far as the sensitivity, it’s really hard for most people to take criticism objectively. Especially if it seems mean-spirited. I’ve learned through my other career that you can’t make all the people happy all the time so, when I receive criticism, no matter how nasty, I really work to find something I can take away from it to make me a better ____. (fill in the blank: person, writer, doctor) This attitude has saved me thousands of dollars in therapy bills. But, even with years of practice, there’s always that initial gut clench and defensive backlash when someone says something negative about my work. Because, of course, it’s going to hurt when someone doesn’t love what we’ve invested so much of ourselves in. But, in the end, when I find the positive message I can take away from that criticism, I’m always happy for it.
Marsha Sigman says
Why are you such a Hater? Its just obvious because you spend so much time trying to be understanding and answering all of our questions..over and over…
I like to pride myself on being sarcastic and cynical but I am actually pretty upbeat. You can't make everyone like you and you can't make everyone like your writing. I like it and maybe I am just self-centered enough for that to be the most important thing.
Anonymous says
Mira,
Your voice comes through in every post you write, and people are drawn to you. Be brave. But I don't blame you for hiding your work until you're completely satisfied with it. I feel the same.
As for Michael Jordan, and I could be wrong, but he plays basketball, we write. Playing basketball isn't the same as putting words on paper or a blog. Expressing their opinions is what writers always do.
Sensitivity is natural in a writer, but claiming Nathan hates writers is ridiculous. I don't always agree with Nathan, but he definitely doesn't hate writers.
Vipul says
This was a pretty timely post for me, since you just sent me a prompt, polite rejection (my first!) yesterday. I realized that no matter how many times I hear that 99% get rejected, there's a secret part of me that hopes that not only am I in the 1%, but that I am some miracle talent who will be thrust into success immediately. When you toil in the darkness for awhile, reality can be a bit blinding.
But I can't imagine anyone criticizing your commitment to writers and books.
Nathan Bransford says
Mira, anon-
I actually think writers and athletes have a lot in common. They both require a whole lot of talent, discipline, endurance, concentration, creativity, etc. etc. etc.
Anonymous says
Disclaimer: I'm not anonymous so I can rant. I just can't log in at present.
I belong to a writing site where member are constantly saying 'all writers are sensitive to criticism' and their book is their baby etc, but I really don't feel like that. It's work, plain and simple, and like in my day job, if I get criticism, my response is 'okay, do I agree and if I do how do I fix it?' along with 'thanks for pointing that out.'
Daniel Goleman's books on emotional intelligence have some interesting things to say on personal responses to criticism – should be compulsory reading for anyone who gets upset by it.
Oh, and my agent rocks!
sex scenes at starbucks says
I think sensitivity is rooted in insecurity. This business is not kind to the insecure.
For some reason insecurity is often paired with an inflated sense of self-worth. Or maybe it's a defense mechanism or something. But I've run up against them in my classes, at cons, at the magazine. So they're not just picking on you, Nathan.
Just remember, your daily affirmation, Nathan:
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."
David says
Nathan's comparison to Michael Jordan is very apt, in that it shows how not having a thick skin can hurt you, no matter how much success you have.
I don't know how many basketball fans read this blog, but you've undoubtedly heard of Michael Jordan. And yet, his cringe-worthy train wreck of a Hall of Fame acceptance speech was an astonishing display of someone who couldn't take criticism.
Anonymous says
Your most recent contest had around 2,500 entries. There was only 1 winner, plus 10 finalists and 18 honorable mentions. Very few writers complained. Many writers congratulated the winners and heaped tons of praise on you for running the contest. Some writers beat themselves up, as in "ZOMG, I really need to improve my writing!" I think agents are sensitive, too. I've noticed that certain agents who blog are consistently much more likely to comment on and respond directly to angry commenters than very polite, patient commenters (of which there are MANY!). Possibly this reinforces such behavior. Just an observation.
Nathan Bransford says
anon@12:31-
I actually wrote this post a couple of weeks ago. It's not in response to anything that happened in the contest.
Nathan Bransford says
Although point taken about responding to the squeaky wheels.
Steph Damore says
I like what Scott said:
We may not all be more sensitive than most but we champ at the bit to express it in words.
Some people might complain to their friends or significant others, but writers will do that AND publicly write about it. How strange but true.
Anyone who would think Nathan is a hater is officially a nut. Where do people come up with this stuff?
Ulysses says
I think some such signs of sensitivity appear because there are those among the human population (and especially American Idol applicants) that would rather blame someone else than face the possibility that (maybe even just this once) their work is not good enough.
As writers, we are encouraged not to give up and it requires an unusual mind (read: damaged/ delusional) to persist in the face of a tide of feedback (rejections) indicating to any rational, objective mind that giving up and moving on would be a considerably more constructive use of our time.
A rational/logical mind would not persist. The only conclusion is that those who do cannot be considered rational or logical. If that's the case, then delusional behavior follows as a matter of course.
Um… short version: writers = crazy. Crazy people act irrationally, some moreso than others. It's all just a question of where you fit in the spectrum.
Myself? I'm deep indigo, verging on violet.
Eric says
Yes, I too thought this was giving the contest trolls the attention they were looking for.
So the truth is you're phoning it in with bottom-drawer essays, eh? Sounds to me like somebody has a case of contest-lag. 🙂
Bobby says
To be a writer is the never ending struggle to successfully navigate the fine line of being as open (or thin-skinned for lack of a better phrase) as possible during your performance, your writing, but then to develop a thicker skin when dealing with your writing.
Anonymous says
Gee whiz, Nathan. Yours is the nicest agent blog I have ever come across, and that includes my own agent's. I think there are an awful lot of angry, bitter writer-types online just looking for a place to spew some venom and feel a tiny bit better as what they see as the unfairness of it all (meaning their lack of success in the industry). This seems like a safe place, so they spew here. You can't make everyone happy but IMO, the people YOU offend probably need a bit of therapy.
Amalia T. says
One of my creative writing professors used to say: I'm not your therapist.
I think it was her way of heading off the sensitive-angsty-writers at the pass. She had no tolerance for people getting personally upset by critiques.
As a writer, I think a deep breath and on to the next project is the best way to cope. Certainly it seems silly to waste my energy getting upset at someone else when I could just use it to write something better.
There's room for sensitivity, but energy conservation is important! Think Green people!
Anonymous says
Nathan, it doesn't really matter when your post was written. I mentioned the contest because there were so MANY writers that posted nothing but congratulations and praise after the contest. Today's blog might have covered the tremendous cordiality and support within writing communities. There's a popular trend on certain agent blogs to criticize writers who don't behave, and to respond directly to angry commenters. Not only do certain agents consistently respond to angry commenters, but certain other agents will blog about angry comments they've read on OTHER agent blogs, actually quoting the angry comments on their own blog. Perhaps this reinforces bad behavior, no?
Renee Pinner says
Nathan,
I'm probably relatively new to your blog, compared to some, and I'm definitely not a regular voice in the comments. But, I wanted it said that I've yet to read a word in your blog that implied any sense of disdain or hatred toward your fellow writers (or possible clients).
I appreciate the information you share and the opportunities your blog affords through the contests.
Thanks for the effort you're putting forth here, and please keep it up.
Nathan Bransford says
eric-
Yep – I'm tired after the contest, time for the benchwarmers.
Cammie says
Hi Nathan. I don't know the backstory behind this post, but as a newby writer-blogger, I just want to sound off on my feeling that overly-sensitive writers give the rest of us a bad name! ;-)- I happen to be a skin-of-iron writer (bring on the critiques!!!) who believes that any constructive feedback only makes us stronger. I've been told (by good friends – who became even better friends thanks to their honesty) that my characters where "mechanical," that my plotline was lackluster, you name it. And all I could think was, how awesome to be receiving this kind of useable feedback while I can still use it (during the rewrite phase, as opposed to once the book is published *dream, dream* and panned by the press!) I just wish overly-sensitive writers would step back from their work and welcome objective criticism as a blessing, not a curse. Check your egos at the door, people! 😉
Mira says
Whoops, the links are confusing. Corrected.
Nathan,
I can't vouch for anon (thanks, anon for what you said) but I was talking about personality types.
Athletes tend to be this type of personality:
https://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=1&c=overview
Click on "Artisans"
Some writers are as well, for example, Hemingway.
But many writers, the more senstive types anyway, will be this personality:
https://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=1&c=overview
Click on Idealists
Some writers will be one of the other two types I didn't link to (Guardians and Rationals), but those won't be as sensitive either.
Anyway, that's what I meant. The personality types handle things differently.
Of course, you may think this is all bogus, and…..off topic. But that's what I meant.
Emily White says
Yes, I'll admit I'm the sensitive type. Although I completely believe that the paragraphs chosen were by far the right ones, I happened to get a rejection for a short story at about the same time. You better believe I took a moment to whimper to myself!
But I like your point about Michael Jordan. He may have FELT slighted, but he didn't let it affect his professional career. Some of us who feel tempted to blow off some steam might want to step back and think about who we're blowing off to.
mythicagirl says
Nathan,
The Kanye West school of dealing with emotions runs rampant in just about everything these days. Perhaps a wee bit of entitlement no?
"How could you give me a c? I showed up for class, that should be worth an A"
"A ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving? Do you know who my father is? DO YOU?"
Such is life. Everybody’s sensitive, but its the ones who don’t mind being loudly insensitive when they’re getting their sensitive on that’s mind boggling.
I will leave you with one of my favorite movie lines. Ahem.., it is a passage from the classic film "Enter the Dragon" when Jim Kelly was told he would have to learn how to lose…his reply was:
"I don't waste my time with it, cuz I'll be too busy lookin' good"
Eric says
No worries, champ. You pitched a hell of game.
Edward W. Robertson says
One of the benefits of the first paragraph contest was the glimpse it gave of how an agent operates. On diving into the slushpile, it's easy to see how fast good writing jumps out at you–and how much other talented work is out there next to yours.
With that perspective, you get a new light on what an agent or magazine editor means when they say "I'm afraid it didn't grab me" or "This isn't right for me." If it didn't stand out, you know there was a damn good reason for that–and even if you're sure it did, but got passed over anyway, you're aware of the kinds of choices agents and editors have to make when it comes down to those last few submissions.
Either way, it is impersonal. Nothing to get oversensitive about. And either way, the response is the same: put it behind you and get back to work.
dylan says
Mr. Bransford
Catalogues of Slights can be funny.
As pseudo-Lennon says here, "I'm sensitive as shit!"
https://tinyurl.com/yh8hhk8
dylan
Courtney Price says
You directed that at me! I hate you!
🙂
ryan field says
Good post.
Fawn Neun says
It's always basketball with you, Nathan, isn't it?
😉
Nice entry…
Toby says
I hope varying opinions are not considered to be the same as bad behavior?
And I'm not so sure about anon’s comment that very few writers complained. Maybe they didn't complain out loud, but 2,600 writers submitted their paragraph… and only 800 voted.
When writers say nothing, that's saying something.
I found the silence deafening.
Lisa Iriarte says
I'm teaching a creative writing class for the first time this year. The first lesson I taught them was to develop a thick skin. We are breaking into critique groups, we are providing criticism which is mostly constructive, but is criticism nonetheless.
Now, after eight weeks of the class, I believe the kids have gotten the hang of it. They thank each other for the critiques. They ask intelligent questions about the comments. They provide additional information generally without becoming defensive.
Many adult writers could benefit from watching this class of seventh graders. I know I have.
Ash. Elizabeth says
all i have to say is that if writing problems are the biggest things these people have faced they have to calm down. i love writing, but it wont be the end of the world if i never get published. it means i'm not good enough or not trying hard enough.
i have a post about things worse than rejections on my blog, and i immediately got anon users saying "what? obviously you've never been rejected by an agent"
umm yeah, i have. when you've dealt with cancer, like me, the "problems" people get all bent out of shape over are crazy. i don't understand why people get so upset over it. i don't know maybe i'm not sensitive enough or something, but i just don't. hmm…turns out i did have a lot to say!
Eric says
Toby,
You raise a very interesting point.
Gordon Pamplona says
Let me throw this one out there for discussion: On one level, writers hating on editors/agents/reviewers sounds like a lot of people I know talking about their bosses at their crappy jobs, because by every objective measurement, writing is a really crappy job. No control over your work environment, no (or arbitrary and contradictory) feedback, low pay–it's enough to stress anyone out.
And a lot of times the sensitivity about the writing is a stand-in for sensitivity about something else: you spent so much time chasing this pipe dream that you lose your job, your marriage, your kids; your kids don't respect you because you didn't write Harry Potter or Twilight; you charged a lot of money on the credit card for conferences and classes with no tangible results, and now the family is eating beans and rice. For many of us, writing is an addiction, no different from alcohol or drugs or gambling. And maybe people who are angry, bitter, stressed out, or despondent should take a hard look at whether this is something they should be doing–if it's gone from a hobby to something that's ruining their lives and their relationships with others.
Mira says
Oh, I want to say one more thing about this.
Although, first I do want to say I'm feeling much better. It's funny how just expressing feelings helps.
But, Nathan, I want to acknowledge that I was totally into this contest, and encouraged it. And I still think it was great that you did it. Look at the great writers you found, and the new folks who discovered your blog.
My reaction totally caught me off guard. No idea why I was so sensitive this time.
But ultimately, that's good too, because it helped me understand myself better.
So, it's all good, and I hope you're getting some much deserved rest.
Toby says
Ash.Elizabeth
We all are sensitive about what means the most to us.
Fighting cancer certainly changes one's perspective about what is important.
Understandably, having a manuscript rejected when you are fighting for your life would seem inconsequential, but when writing is your life, then it becomes a big deal.
It's all about perspective.
I hope you've had a full recovery.
Lisa Yarde says
As those rejections pile up for something a writer may have poured heart and soul into, it's really easy to become too sensitive. It's your baby and how dare anyone criticize your baby? But if you want your work to read by others, you just have to accept the criticism and accolades that come with seeking publication.
Anonymous says
Umm, I must suck as a writer.
My point was Micheal Jordan went out and played basketball harder because he was a basketball player.
Your writers wrote their opinions of the criticism they recieved because they are writers.
And I get that you meant them for us as writers to improve our work, but it is also natural for us to want immediate release of the tension we feel from criticism. An athlete gets immediate relief by showing off his skills. Some times it takes years before we can prove our worth.
How was that? Still bad?
Anon 12:25
Anonymous says
The difference between athletes and writers is that athletes have coaches. IE, someone professional to support and guide them on their way.
Most writers would kill to have someone like that (I think they're called 'agents'?)
In my experience at least, it's a lot easier to keep motivated when there's someone screaming at you, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? THAT WAS SHIT!! PICK UP YOUR ACT OR GO HOME!" than just… silence.
Someone mentioned insecurity. Well, that would be why: because as writers we don't know where we stand.
…ehh, forgot where I was going with this. But I agree with anon 12:31, that was my first thought too. They're a minority. They're always going to be there. You just have to deal with it and be thankful there aren't more of them.
Diana says
I don't think it's sensitivity as much as it is emotional immaturity. People who take things personally that clearly are not about them, have not yet gotten out of "the world revolves around me" stage in life. I've met a lot of writers still stuck in that stage. They don't know the difference between an "I" and a "You", statement, reacting to "I" statements that aren't about them and ignoring "you" statements which are. They also have difficulty separating the actions from the actor. You can explain it a million times in a million different ways and they will not understand.
There's not a whole lot that you can do about it.
Anonymous says
BTW I'm not saying it is right for anyone to spout off; I am just offering rationale as to why it happens so often.
ANON 12:25
Izabella says
Agent criticism is tricky, but I agree with you. Many of us pour our blood, sweat, and tears into our work, sometimes we're great at it and sometimes there's room for improvement. I understand that there are sensitive types out there, but the way I see it is this: If you're truly passionate and want to succeed as a published author you will accept criticism and make the best out of it. It is up to the writer to improve their work and not take it personally. Agents are there to help you succeed and improve, and you shouldn't hate them for that because it will get you nowhere.
Ash. Elizabeth says
Toby,
I had cancer before I started writing. Sorry if I didn't explain that correctly. And, I love writing. I think you missed my point. I never said writing can't be hard or that it isn't someones "true love" or whatever.
(back to everyone)
What I'm trying to say is that people shouldn't get so upset over rejections. I'm sorry, but people shouldn't cry or whatever over query rejections and getting bad books reviews.
I'm saying people should look at the good, and they should see what other people don't have. You may love writing and may be upset over rejection, but what about the person who lost his arms over a tragic accidents? There are plenty of people who CANT write, and the fact that you have fingers and the ability to put wonderful words on paper should be enough. Being capable of doing what you love should be enough.
If people say they love to write because they breathe it, why do they cry when they don't get published? I thought writing was their dream? The only problem with not getting published is you don't get money. . .And, if that's not the reason you do it, then why are people upset?
Half the people who cry over things like blog contests should go stand in an emergency room for an hour, or go to Hasboro and visit the children who are too busy worrying about their next chemo session to even consider drawing like other kids.
I'm not saying at all that people shouldn't say they love writing or shouldn't celebrate the amazing accomplishments. I'm saying those rejections shouldn't be a big deal, and I'm saying people shouldn't be so sensitive.
I'm sure your love for writing is the same as 99% of the people out there right now writing a book. I love it too, but never to I dwell over the negatives.
Alicia A says
It is hard to pour your heart into your work and find out it could be better. But professionalism is necessary in any field. Could you keep your job if you threw a fit everytime your boss or peers disagreed with you?
Yeah its hard being critized but that's how you learn people.
Nathan, your blog is inspiring.
Skeptic says
In my real life, I teach Nonviolent Crisis Intervention (TM) to professionals and caregivers for people with psychiatric diagnoses.
There is a concept that applies to every aspect of life that I wish with all my heart that writers could/would want to learn. It's called rational detachment. The premise (in mental health) is that we (professionals and caregivers)are able to stay in control of our behavior and not take "acting-out" behavior personally.
In writing, rational detachment is so important. It might feel like the brain has gone into labor and given birth to Cerebella – the perfect brain child – but the world is subjective. If writers cannot rationally detach from that over protective tendency, how can writing improve? When feelings are too involved, when rejection is personalized from "not for me" into emotion that feels like "your writing sucks", where does a writer go from there?
Why do we write? Fame and fortune? The prestige of finally being "one of the published" in the world? Or do we have stories in our heads that cannot go anywhere but OUT onto paper? All the romanticized BS of writing "the great American novel" aside, writing is hard work. Who sits down and in one draft cranks out something perfect that the world clamors to read? Who lives life in any profession in a bubble of perfection where there is no room for growth?
People think it's hard (and it isn't easy) to hear criticism of their writing. Believe me – it can and is worse in other areas in the world. I just spent 12 hours being followed around by a loud, verbally abusive mouth intent on finding a trigger and punching the hell out of it. I would never be able to go back to work without rational detachment.
Long winded advice aside – here's the crux.
Step away from the emotion. Rejection in writing probably isn't an indictment on the personality of the writer. "Not for me" just means "not for me." It might mean "I'm too busy right now," or "I really don't enjoy this genre," or "dammit my bad day hasn't stopped since the Lakers won the championship in June" (and I am – GO CELTICS).
Remember that what you personally don't enjoy, someone else loves and vice versa. Don't personalize to the point of hurt feelings. Learn the lesson. Improve the skill. Start again. This is the key to success in life.
/end opinionated rant