One of the many things I have discovered in the course of being a blogging agent is the intense sensitivity of many writer types.
And actually, the mere fact that I typed that sentence will probably get legions of anonymous commenters up in arms about my gross insensitivity. Steel yourselves, sensitive writers! Steel!
To take the most obvious example, there’s a proud and distinguished history of authors losing their minds over bad reviews and acting badly, to the point an author has to really, really act badly for anyone to surprised anymore (but writers also happen to be inventive types and manage to find new ways).
To take another example, I can’t count the number of times in the course of writing this blog I’ve been accused of hating writers or looking down on writers or otherwise being reflective of all that is wrong with publishing today. Even aside from the fact that I’m actually a writer in my spare time, why in the world would I spend my time blogging about writers and books if I hated them? Why would I have spent seven years in this business to begin with?
Now, to be clear and fair, I’ve written a lot of words on this blog and anyone who spills this much e-ink is going to misspeak or state things inartfully from time to time. So I’m not criticizing people for taking offense occasionally. I also don’t intend to absolve agents everywhere of bad behavior or attitudes that don’t deserve to be absolved.
But still, there’s a small, vocal portion of the Internet writing community who will seize upon any teeny tiny perceived slight and use it as proof that agents really truly are haters of writers/scum of the earth/enemy of Literature with a capital L/Philistines/Luddites/Carthaginians (is that a thing?)/you name it.
It’s worth remembering during these times: agents have devoted their working lives to writers, they have typically worked their way up for years while living in expensive cities and making less than some part time temp workers, and they often work for hours on end with writers whose books they can’t sell, for which they receive absolutely no compensation. I’ve never met a single agent who is in this business for any reason other than the fact that they love writers and they love books.
But there’s just something about writing, where it’s almost as if writer types feel things more deeply and need a channel for that passion and the inevitable frustration that comes with the business. And frustration really is inevitable. No matter how successful you are there are always going to be challenges, needlessly personal bad reviews/rejections, and any number of road blocks along the way.
Channeling it into frustration with the business side of publishing, against literary agents, editors, reviewers, bookstores… you see it so often, and yet it’s just so clearly not the most productive way to be.
Anecdote.
Michael Jordan is the one of the most notorious competitors and cataloguer of slights of all time. Rumor has it he never missed an opportunity to feel slighted. The sensitive soul of an artist!
And yet: he didn’t complain (at least not publicly) when he was supposedly frozen out when he was a young All Star or when the Pistons created the “Jordan Rules,” which basically entailed knocking him senseless at every opportunity, or about the height of the rims or the length of the court or David Stern or fans or anything else. Instead he set about destroying the competition on the court.
This is probably some of the most obvious advice you’ve ever seen on the Internet, but still! I think it’s worth remembering that if you’re a writer you are most likely also a sensitive type who must steel yourself from time to time and remember to channel your passion into the proper vessel: your writing.
Anonymous says
Also a disclaimer: I am an anon, because I can't log in for some reason.
I think "hate" is a strong word to use, I've heard writers rant about agents (usually unagented writers). I've heard agented writers rant about their agent not doing enough for them. However, I haven't witnessed this hatred you speak of, Nathan.
Agents and editors love books, or they wouldn't be in the business. Writers love creating stories, again, they wouldn't be in this business.
If there are a few who go on and poste hateful things about agents, then they probably post hateful things about other authors and editors as well.
I have seen a few NY Times best selling authors lash out at readers because the readers gave them a less than stellar review on Amazon or other blogs, but, again, I think that's far and few between.
I think my agent is wonderful, he works hard and I know he won't make a dime, until he can sell my work.
Nothing against you, Nathan, I think you do a wonderful job on this blog, your contest, your quick response time, which I'm told from friends who have queried you.
I have to be honest, Nathan and say, if you were my agent, I'd be a tad concerned that you are overextending yourself. Plus you're also an author and will be busy promoting your book soon. Congrats to that!
I know how busy my agent and his assistants are, and they don't have time to do half the things you do, so I commend you on that, but as I said, above, I would be concerned of burnout or that I wouldn't get the attention I may need.
This is not a flame, I'm just being honest on how I see this.
Thanks
Dan Branda says
Disagree.
I reject about 30 writers a month (which is to say, I've rejected 30 writers), and with one exception the writers' reactions have been 100% positive. It's all in the presentation.
Richard Mabry says
I still recall the first "slight" I suffered as an author. At a conference, I approached a well-known agent and pitched my novel to her. "Send me a proposal." I did so, feeling that surely fame and fortune would follow in rapid-fire order. Instead, in a few weeks I received a terse letter from the woman, not even hand-signed. "Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I didn't find it to be as good as I'd hoped."
I'm sure I called her every name in the book (in my mind, of course)–uncaring, heartless, unable to judge talent–but in the cold, gray light of dawn I realized that she was right. The work wasn't as good as she'd hoped. It wasn't even as good as I'd hoped. Three years and a lot of effort later, another agent took me on and my first novel comes out soon. And the "uncaring, heartless" agent was one of the people who sent me a congratulatory note.
You're right. We need to channel our anger.
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
Being public leaves no room for being overextended or burning out. If I were spending all my time online and neglecting my clients they would know about it pretty quickly.
My clients are priority number one and their work comes before anything else. That's precisely why I have posts like this that I wrote a while back ready to go on days when things are busy.
Alma says
Even though you have 101 comments already, I am compelled to write: you extremely thoughtful, diplomatic and even-handed. I used to work with real live diplomats and dude, they could take lessons from you.
the artist formerly known as Meredith
Anonymous says
Nathan, I have no doubt that you do not neglect your clients, but you have to admit, writing a blog, reading the comments, responding. That contest alone must have taken a huge chunk of your time, and I've read your article and posts on other blogs and you're also a writer.
As a published author, you will also have to dedicate a lot of time to promotion, I would think.
Then I assume you have a personal life 🙂
You obviously can multi-task extremely well and juggle many hats, and I commend you.
I was just being honest in saying, I would be extremely concerned if I were a client. I know from meeting with my agent and actually seeing his agency at work one day, that in his case, him and his staff wouldn't be able to keep up, there is just so much involved, as I saw for myself. Not just a matter of answering queries and submissions, and I have seen how some authors demand a lot of time from their agents after they are published.
I am grateful to have seen just what is involved in a an agent's day, and it is hectic. How you manage it all, is beyond me, again, I commend you, I just would worry that you would suffer an early burn out in this industry.
Peace.
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
All I know is I don't work nearly as hard as my dad, who is up at 4:00 AM every single morning to check the fields, so I may have a skewed perspective on what working too much entails.
Look: I love my job, I love writing, I love spending time with friends and my wife, I love television and movies, and I find time to do all of those things. There really is enough time in the day. There isn't any secret about it or anything diabolical going on. There are lots of people out there who work harder at more difficult jobs. I'm lucky, not burdened.
AM says
Richard,
I just went to your website. Congratulations!
I look forward to buying a copy of CODE BLUE in April.
lora96 says
We are writers and thus revel in the theatrical exposition of our despair in the face of an unappreciative world. Oh, the angst, the drama, the horror of it all!!!!!
Yup. That's us.
We write, we get rejected, we flail around about it.
darksculptures says
When I started writing, I expected everyone would grab a glass of milk to help swallow the crap sandwich I was serving, because I was new to the field and just learning the craft.
No one dare say anything that would be discouraging. After all, like most new writers, I really believed I was the next George Orwell, Kurt Vonnegut, or maybe Ray Bradbury. All I needed was a grammar refresher.
Yeah right! Guess how that worked out for me.
Well, I’m still learning, but no longer wallowing and I’ve learned to moderate a bit of my sensitivity. I realized I was the one applying my fingers to the keyboard and forcefully pounding out crap.
The way I understand it, the heart of a writer can’t be too sensitive, unless long term care at a mental institution is the desired end. But it’s not all confidence and stoicism either, because you run the risk of becoming complacent and turning a deaf ear.
It’s all about the balance.
Marilyn Peake says
Personally, I think a good writer needs to have deep sensitivity about the world, enough empathy to write meaningful stories. Otherwise, they’d write only about meaningless drivel. However, I think most determined writers eventually develop the hide of a rhino and don’t have the time or inclination to lash out. My new skin: here.
Kristin Laughtin says
You're totally a Carthaginian. I can tell by your writing and your addressing my sensitivity in the first place!
Nah, really, well said.
Susan Quinn says
On the possible burnout of Nathan Bransford: "If you want something done, give it to someone who's busy."
Ash. Elizabeth says
i disagree that you have to be sensitive to be a writer. Have you ever heard of Robin Cook? He used to be a doctor and is known for his sometimes coldness. You don't need to be sensitive to be a writer. You need to have a talent for it, the will to keep at it, and the thick skin to keep going with it no matter how many rejections pile up in your inbox.
You're implying that sensitivity means your more insightful. I'm applying for an internship at the local branch of ICE, and I've met with many agents. They're standoffish, but when it comes to someone else's life, they'll do whatever it takes to protect people.
Some of our greatest fields require being cold sometimes heartless. Another example doctors.
Just because someone doesn't wear their heart on their sleeve doesn't mean they don't care about stuff as much as you do. i think it's important for people to remember that. No ones the same.
Anonymous says
Toby, you really can't read too much into writers who didn't comment on Nathan's blog about the contest winners. When agent contests are advertised widely on the web, many writers enter ONLY to see if they can win, but don't ever plan on commenting on the blog other than to enter the contest. Nathan's contest wasn't limited to regular participants on his blog.
SphinxnihpS of Aker-Ruti says
I'm sensitive, not because I'm a writer, because I'm just sensitive. And one thing I notice from those who don't have much tolerance for that, is the advice to "stop being so sensitive" or to "get a tougher skin". Not exactly the best advice, because now the sensitive person feels there is something wrong with them for feeling that way and/or if it were that easy to turn off the emotions, they wouldn't be feeling sensitive in the first place. It's the same way with, for example, telling someone who is angry to stop feeling angry and that will solve all their problems.
Hmm, wonder how many more times I can use sensitive in a post.
Anyway interesting post, lol, and I can even guess for once what prompted it.
Jodi
Anita Saxena says
In response to multi tasking and working hard….
Sometimes I think the people who are the most succesful and achieve true balance in their lives are the people who challenge themselves on multiple levels.
My brother is in Dental School and he's been going through a rough time his second year and his professor said something to him: Everyday you need to challenge yourself professionally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and artistically. Nathan obvious hits points on all of these. I'm a firm believer in being multi faceted. It keeps life less monotonous. People come up to me all the time and are like "You do too much" or "How do you do so many different things?" And I'm like how could you NOT have a life full of different things?
I guess I'm being overly sensitive about the subject. He..he..he…
Marilyn Peake says
Ash.Elizabeth,
Good writers don’t need to wear their hearts on their sleeve. Some are cold as ice and pompous, but deep down many are sensitive. Psychological studies have actually shown that writers tend to be more emotional than the general population, but that doesn’t mean they always show it. Emotions and behavior can be completely different.
Ash. Elizabeth says
yeah, that's what I said. thanks for agreeing with me.
Ash. Elizabeth says
also, on multi-tasking:
My professor is 27 and is in charge of the FBI entrance program in Miami. Plus, he goes running all the time, offers his assistance at the gun range, AND offers his martial arts services for FREE in his spare time at a local studio. He's like a badass god in his field (much like Nathan). The fact that people can do so much is a GOOD thing. A very, very good thing.
Marilyn Peake says
Jodi,
I don’t think anyone should be told to get a tougher skin. I’ve been writing for at least 20 years, and almost quit so many times, I’ve lost count. I kept writing because I love it. Eventually, I realized that rejection had stopped affecting me because rejection was so often balanced by success if I just kept on going. In fact, most times when I almost quit, I suddenly received a new opportunity for my writing. If at some point in the future, I get tired of banging my head against doors, I’ll quit. In the meantime, I love writing and the frustrations don’t bother me that much.
Sharon Mayhew says
Nathan,
I read your blog daily. I learn something everyday. I am one of those sensitive creative people. I've only had one story published so far. At first rejections felt very personal to me, but now I look deeply into rejection to see what I can learn from them. If you're not able to take rejection, self-publish.
Colette says
I think it's fair to say that sensitive types exist in every field — this is not a distinction reserved for writers or other artists. Everywhere — there are sensitive types and not-so-sensitive types. We'll all get over it.
Stephanie says
Oddly enough, I am sensitive about everything else in the world, but I have always been able to accept critiques of my writing. The very first time someone gave me a critique, I said, "I know I'm new at this and I don't know what I'm doing, so tell me what I need to work on." The feedback was better than I expected, and I have gone on to have harsher and more complimentary critiques. For some reason, I always KNEW writing was hard, so I didn't expect to try it once and be a star. I want my writing to be the best it can be and I am a big believer in "life-long learning". The more I learn, the better my writing can be. You notice, the more I learn, the better I will be. Most likely, there are some great writers who are terrible people, and some great people who are terrible writers.
jongibbs says
Well said 🙂
Diamond says
1) Inartfully??? Artlessly, perhaps
2) Just as all Math teachers/politicians/lawyers can't be evil – there are some good ones out there – neither is it probable that all agents are good. That you've never met an agent who wasn't of surpassing integrity possibly says more about you and the company you keep than the essential nature of the profession
Regan Leigh says
You'd think with such sensitive writers, they'd have more respect towards the feelings of others. Even the feelings of *gasp* agents. It's pretty sick to see people bash agents and the job they do, but demand respect for their writing. Just sayin'.
Thanks for continuing to give us great posts. Now I must go and have my daily writer's cry… 😉
Alessa Ellefson says
The Carthaginians were people from Carthage. Were you thinking of the Corinthians, a line of "French" kings back in the mega-olden days?
I don't think you ever sound mean. You may be sarcastic at times, but I don't think that's a bad thing.
Thanks for all your posts!
Nathan Bransford says
The (not very good) joke is just that Carthaginians aren't really known for anything. Except possibly elephant riding.
Dawn Hullender says
I think writer's need to keep in mind just how hard an agent's job really is. They practically hold a writer's fate in the palm of their hand (or on the flat of their screen) and then they have a very tough decision to make.
Will this sell? Am I excited enough about it to work with them? Do they have what it takes?
It has to be complete torture at times to turn someone down. I just take my little rejection letters and store them away in hopes of bettering myself as a writer.
I was given two ears and one mouth, I'm supposed to listen twice as much as I speak 🙂
((hugs)) to you Nathan for all the hard work you do.
Jen C says
Pretty much the only thing that riles me in the writing world is, funnily enough, overly-sensitive writer types.
When people start with the "I'm a writer therefore I have the right to treat everyone like crud and blab on about how awful everyone is and then go and eat some worms" I generally have to look away. I think because I feel like they're giving us all a bad name…
Jason says
I know this applies to me Nathan…I think this is great practical advice. The hard part is having the humility to not only restrain from lashing out, but also to realize the value in the critiques we get.
I was reading a post by Rachelle Gardner today and it so applied to me, but it's sometimes easier to convince yourself that you're the exception to the rule…funny, the human creature's ability to deceive itself.
Dawn Maria says
Good post. This is a hard business. Some days are hardier than others; some days are just fantastic. And you never wake up knowing which it will be until you're in the middle of it.
Amy says
I agree over and over, but I think it's more the freedom of the Internet for writers to vent than just their insensitivity. I think that many people had no idea they were so rude and nasty until they had the opportunity to vent their opinions anonymously in the open internet environment. I don't mean just on this blog, but anywhere. Have you seen the nastiness that pervails on Youtube or sites that deal with disposable diapers vs. cloth diapers? Yikes. There are people going berserk on anything, and it wasn't until the net that they could throw out their "charm" so easily. Everyone has an opinion and now it's pretty much acceptable to take offense and make a scene over things that would never happen IRL.
As for writing, how many writers complained before they internet? There was no forum to do so as easily. I'm not anti-net, I love it. But I have seen normal people wrap themselves too tightly with their own opinions now that they think they have a listening ear.
Jen C says
RE: Nathan and time management – I'm with you, Nathan. Busy is just a state of mind. When you look at it, there are so many hours in a day it's just ridiculous… plenty of time to get things done if you just sit down and do them.
Anonymous says
All I can say is no one knows the feeling of receiving a bad book review until it's happened to them personally. Critique Groups don't count. Agent blogger first paragraph contests don't count. I'm talking about an amazon book review (or it could be any review site that could affect book sales) that takes their work out of context and bashes it completely.
And guess what? In these digital times, it happens to almost every single writer there is. Some worse than others. Not too long ago there was a thing called "romfail" on twitter. This "romfail" was formed by a group of other writers and reviewers who didn't like certain romance books. So they all ganaged up, in a pack, on several different writers and trashed them all over twitter on Friday nights. I was not part of this, but I heard it was brutal. And one of the writers was fairly well known, with books that many other people love.
Yes, writers are often overly sensitive. But there's also a lot of criticism going around these days that isn't constructive.
Rebecca says
Terry Gross of Fresh Air on NPR asked Matt Groening what is was like to know that he offended someone with every episode of "The Simpsons."
He said, "Terry, some people are eager to be offended."
Mira says
Yeah, sadly, I'm not done.
I feel a pressure to continue. I really wish I didn't.
So, I talked about my own process. Which I'm now re-thinking, because if I hadn't participated in this contest, I would never have discovered that character. And I like that character. But anyway, in terms of what happened on the blog as a community.
It was not just a case of writer's over-sensitivity.
I thought and thought about what happened. I've seen other contests here, and none of them had this feeling to it. Not even close.
So, why this one?
I think it was very innocent, and just a bunch of factors that came together and went awry. It had to do with Nathan using the contest to promote the site – which is an excellent thing to do. Promote the site, that is. On top of that the lure of the prizes: people who have won this get published and/or agented by Nathan, the most adored agent in the blogsphere.
The combination of those two things led me, at least, to eventually feel like a cog in the wheel of literally thousands. I was just another number being counted in the submission thread. And then, another one of the solicited thousands who were publically rejected.
Difficult.
Also, totally innocent and unintended. Just sort of a combination of factors.
It's important to air these things and name them. It's helpful. It loosens the tightness.
I hope.
I'm very nervous Nathan is going to be mad at me and argue with me here, and I want to announce that I'm going to take a nap before I study for my mid-term and write my paper, so I won't be available to argue for at least 2 hours. And then I might pretend to still be sleeping.
I'm a bad liar says
sometimes a reality check, however obvious, may be just what a writer needs to hear. i think people in all sorts of industries can have a tendency to play the blame game for their struggles. personally, i think it's nice to have the agent's perspective from the other side of things.
Chazz says
Or is this projection? Almost everyone who comments, almost all the time, agrees with you. Some even gush. It's a lovefest. Sometimes it's close to worship.
As a journalist, I can tell you that's not the rule. Most of the time, people write to complain. Look at any Letters to the Editor column in just about anything.
Sure, people get cranky about things from time to time. That doesn't necessarily make them overly sensitive or wrong, though sure, we hope they are diplomatic enough. I hope I'm being diplomatic enough for you right now. (After all, you don't have to do any of this nor do I have to read it.)
Feel the love. You're pretty much at the max any agent is going to get in this dimension.
Hackpacker says
Rejection is a part of writing. Finding an audience for your work is the biggest struggle with writing moving online.
I'm interested in the converse of your point – how do we encourage resilience in writers? Or should we encourage more to give up?
JohnVise says
Damn those sensitive artist types! Seriously though, even though my paragraph didn't come close to the top contenders, I was rather pleased that it fit none of the problems on the 'everyone is doing it too much' list. No one waking up, falling asleep, covered in blood as the sun set upon them cliche silly fun. Yay me! If I can't be the best, at bloody least I am not predictable.
Nathan Bransford says
chazz-
Half of my posts are reminders to myself as much as anyone else.
Laura says
I'm guessing some didn't take too well to your list of overused beginning paragraph motifs. It had me rereading mine, trying to look at it with fresh eyes and see if it needed more work. Though it begins with dialogue, my protagonist is talking to herself, so I think I'm okay. Time will tell!
And yeah, you hate writers… that's why you read through over 2,000 paragraphs and gave away prizes and accolades… yeah. You're a hater all the way.
Gordon Pamplona says
Under certain circumstances, people should give up. If setbacks are ruining the rest of your life, or overcommitment to writing is closing off other options, you need to rethink. Let's go back to the athlete analogy. Take a high school kid who's convinced he's going to make the NBA. He's good but he's not that good. Or he's that good, but he's already suffered a serious knee injury. Or he's that good and so far he's lucky too. He spends all his time playing ball, so schoolwork is falling by the wayside. If you were that kid's parent or teacher, what would you tell him?
Let's say that former high school ballplayer goes to college, gets an education, lands a good job and still wants to play ball. There are always adult recreational leagues. For writers who follow the same pattern, placing priorities on job and family and writing in one's spare time, self-publishing can play the same role as the recreational basketball league. And people who take this route deserve our respect as much as the high school kid who gives up basketball to focus on education.
uch says
please, i'm too sensitive to live. and each time i lose
one of these contests i want to throw out my computer and take to the bed. but i never, ever think you hate writers. and i only mildly take it personally. you are wonderfully patient and respectful of the craft and the writer–and you love the written word. oy, what you have to deal with…
Anonymous says
I entered the contest and I didn't win or get a mention.
Ya know what? My paragraph was at least as good if not better than the winner.
Arrogant? Cocky? In denial?
No, I'm a writer. If I don't think I'm at least as good as you are, why am I doing this?
You HAVE to believe in your work. Joe Montana or Michael Jordan or Hank Aaron didn't go into a game thinking 'Man, glad I'm #46 out of 45!'
Winners think of themselves as winners. There is a very famous quote from Henry Ford I have on my desk at work that says – 'You you think you can or you can't – you're right.'
Assume you suck and you will. Bow down and say Guy X won because he's better than I am and you can pretty quickly put yourself in last place in any contest.
I am the best writer here. I have to be or I can't get up 2 hours before work every morning and do this.
When someone asks YOU who the best writer in the world is YOU are.
That's how you succeed. That isn't arrogance or fantasy – it's what keeps your ass in the chair and the typewriter going.
Don;t be bummed that you 'lost' – the only person you are competing against is yourself. You are the best, remember? That's a big challenge and you have to rise to meet it everyday.
Nathan (with all due respect to him!) is no the final arbiter of how good you are. he's human (ok he;s a cyborg, but he;s MOSTLY human) and he has his own likes and dislikes. So does every other editor and agent in the world – just like readers.
Don;t worry, you'll reach them eventually.
You're the best.
Terry says
Another thought, these are hard ecomomic times. A lot of people are worried, or worse, they may have lost their homes and also suffered other tradgedies we don't know about, so they lash out.
It's unfortunate, but I feel for them too.
The more I read the comments, the more I think we should try a little tenderness. And Nathan and others, do. So that's good.
A little kindess goes a long way.
ann foxlee says
Am I sensitive? You Betcha. I cried my way through most of Junior High because I didn't have any friends (didn't realize no one else did either), and smashed apart my $400 flute in 8th grade because I couldn't play it well enough (that went over real well, let me tell ya).
In the end I realized that nothing mattered except doing the things that made me happy, even if they didn't do much for other folks. I just do the best I can, and let the rest take care of itself.
It's worked out pretty well so far!
I also realized that it is every bit as hard to give good, useful critiques as it is to receive them, so I take to heart the opinions of professionals, even if it takes me three months of staring at my manuscript to break down and make the changes 🙂
Terry says
I just saw anonymous 5:29 above me. Yes, we need to have confidnece in ourselves, in spite of it all, or we are doomed.
Keep on keeping on, guys.