Not only is Lisa Brackmann’s debut novel Rock Paper Tiger to die for, but when she originally contacted me she wrote one of the best query letters I ever received when I was a literary agent. (Frequent readers might also know Lisa as blog commenter Other Lisa).
Rock Paper Tiger went on to be published by Soho Press and was named one of Amazon’s best books of the year. It all started with her query!
Here’s Lisa’s most excellent query letter:
Dear Mr. Bransford,
The Beijing ’08 Olympics are over, the war in Iraq is lost, and former National Guard medic Ellie McEnroe is stuck in China, trying to lose herself in the alien worlds of performance artists and online gamers. When a chance encounter with a Chinese Muslim dissident drops her down a rabbit hole of conspiracies, Ellie must decide who to trust among the artists, dealers, collectors and operatives claiming to be on her side – in particular, a mysterious organization operating within a popular online game.
ROCK PAPER TIGER is a fast-paced, 108,000 word mainstream novel set in a China where the ultra-modern and cutting-edge clash with ancient neighborhoods and traditions, and in an America where the consequences of war reverberate long after the troops have come home. It will appeal to fans of William Gibson’s books with contemporary settings, Laura Lippman’s strong female protagonists, and almost anybody’s whacked-out travelogues about the world’s more surreal places.
I have a background in politics, Chinese history and the entertainment industry. I am working on a pop biography of Zhou Enlai for a small press and with a partner wrote a feature screenplay based on a series of Taiwanese fantasy novels, THE IMMORTALS, which was optioned by ActionGate Films. I was also a contributing editor for TWILIGHT OF EMPIRE: RESPONSES TO OCCUPATION, a collection of essays about the American occupation of Iraq (Perceval Press, 2004). I lived in China, travel there often and speak decent, if not quite fluent, Mandarin.
I’m querying you because you like novels set in foreign countries.
Also, I hate the Lakers.
Best regards,
Lisa
This query is just stellar. It’s well-written, it has a nice balance between key details (alien worlds of performance artists and gamers), plot (chance encounter drops her into a rabbit hole of conspiracies), personalization (knows my taste), and most importantly of all, she hates the Lakers.
I had to restrain myself from immediately offering representation. I waited on the novel though, which was amazing.
For more tips on how to write a great query letter, check out these posts:
- How to write a query letter
- My query letter for Jacob Wonderbar
- Emily Conrad’s query for The Boy in the Basement
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
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Robin L says
That IS a dynamite query letter! And the book sounds amazing. Congratulations, Lisa! I'm looking forward to reading it!
Bane of Anubis says
This irrational hate for LA needs to stop (I know you've got a voodoo doll of Robert Horry somewhere 🙂 — seriously, some of my Portland friends are drooling over the possibility of Odom leaving — they don't care where he goes, just as long as he leaves…
As the venerable Mr. King said, 'why can't we all just get along?'
Other Lisa says
I really do hate the Lakers!
Jen P says
wow – awesome – thanks for sharing. Sounds like just my kind of read too. Go Lisa! Let us know when it's out – I'll request it in my local bookstore.
MeganRebekah says
Now every query you receive for the next few weeks will close with
"I hate the Lakers"
Bane of Anubis says
Despite that :), congrats Lisa.
Inmodify says
Congrats Lisa!
Makasha Dorsey says
Congrats Lisa! What a great query.
Well, if I ever work up the nerve to query Mr. Bransford I will not mention my disdain for the Lakers. I don't like basketball at all — I live in a football house.
Marilyn Peake says
I saw Lisa's announcement on Twitter that her book will be published. Congratulations once again, Lisa! I definitely plan to buy your book.
Fantastic query letter! Thanks so much for sharing it, Nathan.
DebraLSchubert says
Excellent query. Thanks for sharing it, Nathan. And, best of luck with the book, Lisa!
WV: suffa – what we writers do while waiting to hear back on submissions.
Melanie Avila says
That IS awesome! Wow! This sounds like something I'll really like.
Is it too late to add that I, too, hate the Lakers? It's true — goes back to the late 80s series with the Pistons. Boo.
LOL @ MeganRebekah.
Mira says
Thanks Nathan for posting a good example of a stellar letter. It's very helpful to see something done right.
Other Lisa, congratulations on your book – wow that's wonderful! Nathan congrats on finding an excellent client match and the book deal. In fact, congratulations all around! 🙂
Tynisha Thompson says
Nathan,
When I was a young junior lit agent, this is what we would've called query GOLD. Letters like this (which only came once in a blue moon) sent me straight to the phone to call up that author and secure them before another agent got a hold of them. Thanks for sharing. Definitely on my To Read list.
Rick Daley says
Thanks for posting this. Not only is it a great example of a query letter, it's inspirational to see that debut novels do sell. Congrats, to both of you!
Nathan,
Can you share the general timeline for this, i.e. when did you receive the query, when did you sign Lisa as a client, and when did the ink dry on the publishing contract?
Lisa,
How much time passed between your completing the manuscript signing with Nathan?
Michelle Moran says
Wow, congratulations, Lisa!!!! I really look forward to its debut!
Thermocline says
How can you not like a query letter that uses "whacked-out" as a selling point?
Dana Fredsti says
Congrats, Lisa! Those of us who've known you for a while are thrilled at the thought of seeing your work in published form. What a great match between agent and author!
Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! says
nice. the query is pretty good. Now, I need to revise my own query :-/
Natalie says
Congrats Lisa! Great letter—it's sounds like such an interesting book.
Vegas Linda Lou says
Excellent query! Hooray for you, Lisa!
Steve says
Goooo Lisa!
Great query and sure to be a great novel!
I concur that Nathan will now get a thousand terrible queries all claiming to hate the Lakers. Even misplaced imitation is still flattery, I suppose…
Julie says
"Rabbit hole of conspiracy" – So Cool!
Nathan,
I've been looking for an excuse to ask this and I think today's post is appropriate.
How do you feel about short quotations from a novel in the query letter?
Nathan Bransford says
julie-
If it works it works, but most times it seems to interrupt the flow of the query. I already ask for the first five pages after the query, so it's usually best to focus on the description of the work in the query part.
bryngreenwood says
To me, this letter also demonstrates two key lessons:
1. Targeting agents who want the kinds of things you write can save you a bunch of trouble. Lisa didn't send a ton of queries.
2. A good query letter is hard work. As I remember it, Lisa went through many iterations of this letter before this draft. She considered how the different elements fit together and how it read as a whole.
Other Lisa says
Oh, hell ya. Many many drafts. The others got all the information in but they didn't capture the "voice" of the book the way this one seems to have.
Hello all, and thanks for your kind words and interest!
@Rick, I did do some revisions before signing with Nathan. That gave us both a chance to see what the working relationship would be like. I have to say that process went really well – overall I had a lot of fun with it!
Kristin Laughtin says
That is a good query!
I always wondered how much personalization was too much, worried that dropping that I'm from Sacramento and thus love the Kings and hate the Lakers would seem too much like sucking up. Glad to see it can work, as I think/hope my MS will be to your taste when I'm ready to query.
Other Lisa says
Oh, and I have to thank my writing group – several of whom just posted here (*ahem* Dana and Bryn) whose feedback was instrumental in helping me craft the query. They are all fabulous!
Word verification: dremolop. Um, what?
Julie says
Nathan,
I have one more question, then I promise I'll go back to my real job.
I read in a very old blog that you were getting ready to read TWILIGHT.
I'm just wondering if you did read it and if you liked it?
VA says
Lisa, can't wait to dive into this one. It sounds delightfully twisted. The letter is classic, perhaps you could illuminate us on your process.
As far the Lakers go, I don't have a dog in that race.
Judi Fennell says
Taking a moment to comment for my friend Lisa (honest, I am NOT procrastinating my copy edits – really, I'm not!).
If you all think her query is magnificent, just wait until you read the book!
Nathan, you picked a gem. Congrats to both of you for finding a home for Rock Paper Tiger.
Leigh Lyons says
Well, dang! i hate the Lakers too. If I'd known that was a qualifier, I'd have included it in my query when I queried a few months back XD!
susiej says
Congrats to Lisa. I love the title.
And thanks for posting Nathan.
Whenever I have people read over my query, they say my sentences are way too long. I now see that agents are not only capable of comprehending long clauses, but actuall like them.
Other Lisa says
Thanks, Judi! (who has a wonderful three book series out with Casablanca/Sourcebooks – well, the first one is out, the other two are on their way!).
VA, er, well, I probably shouldn't admit this, but I was heartily disgusted with my old query, and one night I stayed up really late with a huge glass of wine and completely rewrote it. And sent it off to Nathan.
nkrell says
It looks like it's been said before, but HELLO! Truly a great query. Congratulations!
Stuart Neville says
I am seldom bowled over by queries, but that was a zinger. Got me right at the off. Congratulations to Lisa, and also to Nathan for snapping it up.
And Lisa, we are now Soho Press stablemates, and my experience of working with all at Soho has been terrific so far – they may be an indie press, but they pack a mighty punch. You'll never find a more passionate or dedicated publisher, and you couldn't be in better hands.
Melissa Petreshock says
Thank you so much for posting examples of good query letters. I'm in the editing and polishing phase of my novel and hoping to get it ready to query by the end of August/beginning of September. I'm having enough trouble writing the synopsis and am scared to death of the query letter.
FYI, you are the first agent I plan to query since you represent YA novels. Mine is a YA fantasy romance and if you're interested you can check out information and excerpts on my blog https://melissapetreshockwrites.blogspot.com/
I've been reading your blog since before I started actually writing it to become more informed of the industry. You have been such a tremendous resource for me. I look forward to gracing your inbox with my first query letter.
Reesha says
I'm surprised. I would have thought that blatantly mentioning sports loyalties would turn off an agent since this is a business proposal and not a lovely conversation.
Nathan, can you tell me why that didn't turn you off? I mean, I thought we were supposed to be all business like. This is a business, right? No? So you mean I can talk about my favorite color in my query letter? Oh good! I was hoping to do that.
Do you like pink?
John Philipp says
Nathan, thanks for the example. A most excellent query letter.
I look forward to Lisa's novel. She knows of what she speaks.
Kat Sheridan says
Only Lisa could bring me out of lurk mode. I've long heard the legend of the wine-induced query letter, and it's a joy to finally see what was in it! Nathan, you are without a doubt the most intelligent, perceptive agent in existance (except for whatever agent I'm planning to query next, of course). I can hardly wait to get my hands on Lisa's book! Congrats to both of you for finding a home for this wonderful book.
Lisa, aren't you supposed to be copyediting?
And what's a "Laker"??
Verification word: waywty – way witty. What I think I am after a glass or two of wine.
Nathan Bransford says
reesha-
Hating the Lakers is both business and personal.
In all seriousness though, the agent/author relationship is a personal one and personal touches like that are perfectly fine. Lisa knew about my feelings toward the Lakers by reading my blog, and thus personalized accordingly.
Nathan Bransford says
julie-
Yeah, I read TWILIGHT. I'm not exactly the target demographic but I can see why it was so popular.
Other Lisa says
Howdy, Stuart! I've been following you on Twitter (does that make me sound like a stalker?) – am thrilled that we are label-mates! So far my experiences with Soho have been just as you described. They are wonderful to work with!
Many congratulations on your novel! I can't wait to read it!
Judi Fennell says
responding to Kat: I, too, have heard tell of this mysterious wine-induced query letter and while I agree with you that Nathan is brilliant for picking up Lisa as a client, I'm going to have to say my agent is equally as brilliant. 🙂 (Judi, who has not been drinking wine, but might start. It is, after all, 5:00 here on the east coast.)
re: Nathan's comment about the agent/author being personal and professional. I see no problem with Lisa mentioning her Lakers' dislike. As Nathan said, it shows Lisa had done her homework -that's what making the personal connection is all about. Yes, it's a business relationship and the agent, technically, works for the author, but that relationship has to be a harmonious one – personalities have to mesh. This was a common ground between them since Nathan has obviously mentioned it. Someone else may pick up on his comment on Twilight and refer to it in his/her query.
*back to editing Catch of a Lifetime
MattDel says
Woo … that query sounded good enough to be lifted wholesale for the jacket copy. I'm not even a fan of most mainstream fiction (Sci-Fi/Fantasy is my thing) and I can barely wait to see it in print.
So good on Lisa for making the query sing and good on Nathan for pouncing.
Oh, and by the way … Baseball is king. Everything else is just details. 😉
word ver: longe — a different kind of lozenge?
Bane of Anubis says
"Yeah, I read TWILIGHT. I'm not exactly the target demographic but I can see why it was so popular."
As always, quite diplomatic 😉
Other Lisa says
Er, about that wine…
In all seriousness, I think it's easy for us to get massively hung up on queries. How do you condense everything about a novel you've worked your butt off on and your life as it relates to your writing – down to a page? It's intimidating. Sometimes just letting go of all that and turning off the internal censor is the way to go. Whatever your own methods might be!
Julie says
Nathan,
Thanks for answering. I saw that your always looking for YA, I was just trying to get an idea of what type of YA you might enjoy.
P.S I'm not writing about vampires, but my novel (Like TWILIGHT) is really "Touchy, feely" – emotionally more than physically; not sure if that was your taste.
Good info, Thanks!
Stuart Neville says
Lisa, what's your Twitter name? Not sure if I'm following you on there…
Other Lisa says
Stuart, it's @otherlisa
And for all you vampire fans – or vampire haters….
Buffy Versus Edward!!!
Julie says
Other Lisa,
That video rocks! Um Edward wins, he can crush a van with his hands.
I don't think any amount of Buffy's handsprings and cartwheels will work on Edward
Besides he's practically made of stone, a wooden stake won't even leave a scratch on his perfect body.
Ok, I'm going to stop now, before my addiction is revealed!
"To each her own" I guess