Am blogging to show what it’s like when writers drop articles and pronouns like “I” and “the” and “a.” Happens lots in queries. Seems they don’t have time to write a proper one. Maybe going for familiarity or possibly typed letter in five seconds. Don’t know why so common. Even if novel is breezy, still means author can write proper query without imitating telegrams.
Excess informality. Dangerous in business letter. Killer of queries.
pam at beyondjustmom says
Got the point.
Anonymous says
sounds like sms speak overstepping the boundaries of the phone.
JohnO says
Blame Bridget Jones Diary. Took diary form to prose, with ruinous results for followers.
As actual writer of prose, am irked. Would trade irkedness for Fielding’s success, though.
csmith says
Obvious, no? Informal letters bane sane ppls life. Best legal docs written NETspk. Trnslation req freq. Apparently = cool boss. Boss =!clvr.
In all seriousness, I know I have a tendancy to drop articles when I’m writing online. (I may go overboard with articles here, because now I’m paranoid). Is it a cardinal sin in day to day networking, or only in formal communications?
verification word: tizig: what happens when I spiral into a panic before first cup of coffee.
Marybeth says
Maybe they are confused between a query letter and a text message?
T. Anne says
guess my twitter query didn’t go over huh? 😉
Susan Elliott says
Textspeak is not only killing the business letter but also maiming the English language.
Bradley Robb says
So…I take it you don’t want my young adult novel completely written without articles, be they definite or indefinite?
The story is rather unique, the disappearance of a teen girl draws her footballer player boyfriend, the local drug dealer, and her alcoholic father under suspicion. But it’s the lack of articles which really allows kids to connect with the book.
And yes, every single word of that was sarcastic.
RW says
Hey even great writers do it. Tolstoy originally wanted to call it The War and The Peace, but his publisher told him he needed to make it shorter.
Jabez says
So what you mean is. Stop.
Please don’t do it. Stop.
I mean it. Please. Stop.
joelle says
Interesting. I often find that when I’m writing the end of an article query, something like “Hope to hear from you soon.” (haha – I never wrote that), I write it without the article to sound breezy and casual but when I go back and proof it, I invariably change it to proper English because it sounds, well…breezy and casual!
Bane of Anubis says
Ha! – I’ve been listening to David Klass’s Firestorm and his book is full of dropped articles and sentence fragments – a bit annoying at first, but now I kind of dig it (though I couldn’t do it in my own writing – certain walls just can’t be broken).
At least they’re not dropping verbs:
My main character, Charlie to the cemetery and the corpse. The Jack Ripper a 50,000 word satire. If you more, please me at.
I _ Nathan — like Madlibs, or whatever that magazine was back in the day :).
Justus M. Bowman says
Replace “a lot” with “often,” and you’ll acquire that super agent, Nathan.
Emily Breen says
Sound like Yoda writer may?
AmyB says
Right now I’m reading a novel that’s written just like that. It’s driving me crazy, even though the story is pretty good.
Alan Orloff says
Whts nxt? N vwls?
Anonymous says
I once worked with someone who used text message shorthand in professional emails.
For example:
U bringing coffe 2 mtg?
She’s a lawyer.
Erastes says
Missing those out always reminds me of Mr Jingle. Nice novel, grateful, very.
Kristin Laughtin says
Oi. Perhaps trying to cut word count?
Like anything else, I believe an occasional fragment can be effective in prose. In a query or other formal writing? Less so. And I don’t see any reason to drop an article like “a” or “the”.
Iapetus999 says
SpacesROverrated2AsWellAsPunctuation
Wanda B. Ontheshelves says
Timing is everything, if slightly off topic…
I just finished writing a business letter. I called the company to verify if it was the correct address for it to reach “X.” They put me through to “X’s” admin ass’t. I said it’s regarding Y. She said “and who is this?” And I said my name, and then:
“No, he doesn’t know who I am. I’m nobody.”
That’s the return address I’ll use on the envelope:
Ms. Nobody.
If only I had dropped a few articles instead. Ai yi yi…
Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! says
It’s been a month since I wrote my query AND I’m still working on perfecting it. Thankfully, there’s noene of that I, Me, or my in this one.
Yat-Yee says
RW: made me laugh.
Anonymous says
When did “I” become an article? Last I heard, it was a pronoun.
David says
I’m astonished.
There’s nothing wrong with doing that in personal e-mails and other such informal communications, although sometimes it can seem like an affectation. But why someone would do that in any kind of formal letter is beyond me.
As I think more than one agent has said, don’t make it any easier for the agent to stop reading.
Anonymous says
Writing tight. They are doing it to make the important words more powerful. And if their book is written like that, it maybe their way of showing you the power of their writing. When I read your blog I didn’t notice the missing words.
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
Yes, “I” is a pronoun. Adjusted accordingly.
sex scenes at starbucks says
u goof 🙂
am noticing lack of punct and caps too
Tracy says
Shoot, there are just so many rules to follow. Next thing you know, we won’t be allowed to send every agent the same query five times a week. Er, not me, of course, just the proverbial ‘we’. *whistles*
(Umm, I really am joking. I’m just a polite, laid-back Canadian, eh – totally not the stalker querier type…and I hate when people drop articles. I make my kids use proper spelling when they chat and message on the computer.)
Marilyn Peake says
I never dropped articles from my sentences until the last couple of weeks, after joining Twitter. It’s all the rage. Some people claim Twitter speak adds to creative expression, rather than subtracts from it. Twitter arrived on the scene when there’s already a demand for pared-down literature. Quite a few literary agents have recently conducted contests in which entries must be 150 words or less (generous compared to Twitter’s demand for 140 characters or less, where even spaces count as characters).
I happen to appreciate adverbs and adjectives, Russian novels, and Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. But that’s not the rage. Melville would have a stack of rejections in today’s world, and we’d be saying, “Melville WHO?”
Maureen Dowd hated Twitter. But she did an interview with the founders of Twitter that was truly hilarious, and their brief answers quite creative. However, I think her longer questions played straight man for their punch line answers.
I love Twitter. I’ve met some amazingly talented people over there. But I had to stop myself from falling into bad habits: being overly familiar (no room for formal introduction plus a coherent message in 140 characters or less!) and launching into fiction writing while still in Twitter mode.
It’s 2 easy 2 forget 2 use complex language, when limited to 140 characters. Know what I mean?. It could happen 2 u. (115 characters – I’m so proud!)
On the other hand, sometimes shortcuts work. I thought dropped apostrophes worked in Cormac McCarthy’s The Road because it reflected the deterioration of language in a post-apocalyptic world. Cormac McCarthy commented publicly that he drops apostrophes in many words because he finds them just too annoying to type.
writermomof5 says
It sounds like they’ve been twittering too much lately. And so have I. I had to go back and add the ‘it’ to the beginning of the first sentence. ; )
Carrie says
OH, NATE, WE KNOE U RLY LUV IT WHEN WE QUERY IN LOLCAT SPEEK.
(Translation from English into LOLCAT obtained at speaklolcat.com)
That.Girl says
Well, just that little paragraph was annoying! I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to read an entire query that went on like that…
Marilyn Peake says
Well, I accidentally typed “?.” in my example of Twitter speak, and came in at 117 characters due to the punctuation error. Well, I’m not so proud now … although I still only used up 117 characters out of a possible 140. 🙂
Samantha Tonge says
Agreed, no excuse for it – i blame the online culture and texting.
Can’t believe you get sent queries like that, though.
I read somewhere not to write Cheers at the end of an email either.
But i’m English!
Cheers:)
Mira says
I completely ‘get’ the concept that a query is a business letter.
I have no problem with the idea of including articles and pronouns. That seems basic.
But I am wondering about the query letter reflecting the novel. For example, if you write a witty novel, you’re somehow supposed to write a witty query letter.
How can you do that and still make it a formal business letter?
And how, in God’s good earth, do you write a witty query letter?
This is a puzzlement.
PurpleClover says
Eek. I don’t think I do that in query letters but I certainly do it blogging. Can’t help it. *egads*
I’m assuming you aren’t talking about the actual pitch where they would talk in the same voice as the book is written…right? If they drop their articles (sounds kinky) in the pitch is that just as annoying? I’m just curious.
(Just so you know, I had to ad “I’m” to that sentence)
(Off topic. Shameless plug. Interviewed sister today. Funny. Check it out.)
Martin Willoughby says
cld b wrse if used txtspk.
PurpleClover says
But when I added “I’m” I subtracted the “d” in “add”. That is just so you know.
Laurel says
Nathan,
Do you have any way of guessing if this is a generational thing? Younger people at my company are much more likely to do this in professional email correspondence than older, for example.
Just curious.
Nathan Bransford says
laurel-
Actually I’d say it’s the opposite. Older men tend to do this more than any other age group.
karenranney says
Sound like Charlie Chan.
Other Lisa says
I can’t decide whether the dropping of pronouns reflects insecurity, narcissism, or both.
Rebecca Knight says
Has anyone here ever read Watchmen?
Because, Nathan, you sound like Rorschach… and it’s freaking me out :P.
Dawn Maria says
I know better than to drop articles in a query. It’s the things I do (or have done) in one that I’m unaware are unprofessional or reek of desperation that frighten me.
Speaking of that, what’s a polite way to phrase that you are querying other agents? Do you need to state it or is it understood?
Alessa Ellefson says
Hilarious. Totally. Can’t believe people do it. Well, maybe can.
Thanks for laugh!
Charlie says
Itway isway annoyingway enwhay ethay englishway anguagelay isway
utcheredbay ybay upposedsay iterswray.
Ovelay ouryay ogblay Athannay
PurpleClover says
Nathan –
You’re not having a bad Monday are you?
Mira says
Dawn Marie,
That’s a good question. I’ve noticed that some agents want to know if you’re shopping. But I’m not sure how you would phrase that.
Nathan Bransford says
purpleclover-
It’s a busy Monday, but not a bad one.