Am blogging to show what it’s like when writers drop articles and pronouns like “I” and “the” and “a.” Happens lots in queries. Seems they don’t have time to write a proper one. Maybe going for familiarity or possibly typed letter in five seconds. Don’t know why so common. Even if novel is breezy, still means author can write proper query without imitating telegrams.
Excess informality. Dangerous in business letter. Killer of queries.
dan radke says
Whoa. Nathan is Rorschach.
PurpleClover says
I was wondering why the post was so late in the day. 😉 Finally, I got my excuse to ignore studying for my final exam. 😀
Mira & Dawn Marie –
I don't know if this helps but this is what I write just after the sentence that includes the word count.
"This is a simultaneous submission."
Mira says
You know, I was sitting here thinking: how DO you write a witty business letter?
How do you do it?
How?
How do you put together two such contradictory concepts?
How can you be funny and still stay within established business etiquette?
Is it actually possible?
So, then I started to think about the concept of possibility. And then I started to think about the natural order of things. And then I started to think about the nature of paradox.
All of this, of course, led me to wonder why the universe is always picking on me.
I was getting very upset.
Until I remembered something wonderful that calmed me right down.
I’ve only written 1 page (and a half.) At this rate, it will be YEARS before I have to send out a witty query letter that somehow manages to meet basic business protocol.
How reassuring.
I feel much better now.
Mira says
P.C. – that sounds great. I’ll use that. If I ever send out a query.
Anonymous says
Mira,
I think you’re a liar; a page and a half, hmmpf. I want to know who you are, besides a crafty blogger. You keep me laughing all of the time. At first I thought you were just stalking Nathan, but now I think you are hiding something, you clever little girl. Reveal yourself. What have you really written, Woman?
Jo
Anonymous says
While we are at it, can someone explain “I Can Haz cheezeburger” to me?
Mira says
Jo – thank you for the compliment. 🙂
No, I’m really who I say I am. I’ve written very little.
Other than my masterpiece, of course.
You know, my 1532 page book on how to stalk an agent.
I’m publishing it. Here. On this blog. Bit by bit. Just to make Nathan’s Monday ever more special.
Karen says
I can’t believe people actually do that. It drives me nuts when I get emails from friends that way. Let alone queries written such poor grammar.
Anonymous says
Mira,
I’m smiling, and it hurts. I wish I had been printing off your blogs.
Jo
PurpleClover says
Mira – stop talking to yourself and pretending you’re Jo.
😀
PurpleClover says
Better yet –
Nathan – stop pretending you are your own stalker named Mira. And stop pretending now “Mira” has a stalker.
M. K. Clarke says
Nathan,
Insightful as always, thank you.
Happy Monday (and it should be, it’s almost over!)
~Missye
Anonymous says
Ahhh, PC, you want a stalker, don’t you? How about an anon one? ; )
PurpleClover says
Ooh exciting! My very own stalker. A little scary but I laugh in the face of danger!
No not really. I don’t. No stalkers needed unless you stay many miles away. 🙂
reader says
speaking of shortening things, can anyone tell me what <3 means?
I keep seeing it on people's blog posts.
Dutch says
Howdy Nathan,
Recently I told my wife something strange is happening to the human race. We were watching a crime show on TV, and I noticed the very thing you pointed out today, in the dialog. The detective and two assistants were discussing the crime scene, and I don’t think they used a single pronoun in the entire exchange.
I said, you know, we started out, grunting. Then we learned to speak whole words. Then complete complex thoughts could be communicated. Then we learned to write, and the human race enjoyed a glorious age of the written prose.
Sadly, I fear we are racing back to the age of the – grunt.
Gitty up – Dutch
Bethanne says
Ack! I’m reading a book like that right now! It’s killing me!
bookshop says
More like excess imitation of Helen Fielding. Note to self: Bridget Jones imitation so 2002. Verbs apparently v. trendy; shameless syntax-thievery apparently on its way out, Not unlike chick lit, Manolos, and newspapers. Whups! Fell over.
Livia says
I had a doctor who responded to my email without articles. I got offended and wrote him back a sarcastic reply without articles as well. It made me feel better at the time, but now that I’m older and wiser, I probably wouldn’t recommend sending rude emails to one’s doctor. Or at least not until you’ve switched to another one.
Anonymous says
This seems obvious. My question is when you want to show your voice in your query. For example, in a YA novel, what’s more important, an accurate reflection of the voice/tone of the piece or writing a professional (and, ideally, informative) letter where brevity is a virtue?
Anonymous says
You left an ‘a’ in the third sentence (before ‘proper one’)
Anonymous says
It really bugs when I hear news anchors doing something similar: dropping verbs, subjects and everything else.
The teen seen stealing a car, caught by an off-duty cop. Rain in the forecast. Lebron James, retiring?
Sheesh!
Chatty Kelly says
The question is, if the manuscript rocked would you ignore the droped articles & pronouns?
Would it keep you from reading the manuscript?
Just wondering.
Jen C says
PurpleClover said…
Better yet –
Nathan – stop pretending you are your own stalker named Mira. And stop pretending now “Mira” has a stalker. ZOMG, if Nathan = Mira, that is the biggest twist since flash forward in LOST!
Back on topic, language is my favourite subject. I think the examples mentioned come down to laziness. I use Twitter, I blog, I blog comment, I email stupid stuff to my sister, I Facebook, I write stories and I write formal correspondence for work etc.
These all take a different tone and vocabulary. It’s just a matter of being able to switch from one to another. Which can be tricky sometimes, but all it takes is a little alertness.
lotusgirl says
Wow, would have never suspected such. Seems to be quite an epidemic to require such a post.
scott neumyer says
Almost like saying please send instant rejection. LOL
Anonymous says
Please see telegrams Dahlia Travers to Bertie Wooster. Also Wooster to Travers. Best comma Writer.
Anonymous says
Reader:
<3 is a sideways heart. 🙂
Terese says
Nathan, that was funny. I’m reminded, however, that “certain foreigners” say such things as, “we need to go to Hospital” or “we have plans for Holiday” – c’mon, why oh why are the articles missing? Just an appropriate article, that’s all that’s needed. Anyway, perhaps those folks dashing off article-less queries are from other countries. You know which ones.
John Baird says
I can’t help but think this is simply the evolution of language. Because we consume more and more written language, we must find a way to cut out unnecessary — let’s just call them implied — words. I’m not suggesting that omitting articles is something to aspire to, but it may be unavoidable. Further, it may, over time, be necessary. The question is, does it obfuscate or enhance communication?
Beatriz Kim says
I’m absolutely in awe that people could write such an important business letter in such an informal manner! It just boggles my mind!
Even commenting here gives me pause.
Anatole says
I’m guilty of this, but mostly online, in places where it doesn’t matter so much if I sound like an idiot. But I’d never do it in something as important as a query letter, or work, or anything.
It reminds me of text messages, and people who always talk like in that code. If I hear “lol,” “tmi,” “totes,” or anything to that likeness any time soon, I will explode.
Also: like. As in, “Wow. Your, like, face is, like, really, really red. Are you, like, upset or, like, something?”
Gay says
Think prob use Twitter or SMS 2 much. Srsly. Probly vowels back 1st pass, thot was enuf.
reader says
Ah! mystery solved! Thanks Anon 4:27!
<3 (I kept trying to read it like it was a math problem, the < being a symbol for "greater than."
–Reader
DeadlyAccurate says
I once worked with someone who used text message shorthand in professional emails.
For example:
U bringing coffe 2 mtg?
She’s a lawyer.Just curious, but could she be sending emails via her phone? That might explain why. (Though my text messages are almost invariably grammatically correct, I do at least understand why people choose to use text speech).
Sam Hranac says
Cracked up.
Elaine 'still writing' Smith says
Seems well odd seeing it done right now.
Mayhap, common on the morrow?
English is ever evolving, in both written and spoken forms.
PurpleClover says
Conjunction junction. What’s your function?
I think we can all learn an invaluable lesson regarding the evolution of English language by watching this video.
Litgirl01 says
Thinking that’s pretty annoying! Wonder how many people actually do that. Must have something to do with texting! 🙂
PurpleClover says
Sorry you give me sushi and caffeine and I get crazy!
There are plenty of other videos for verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. I have yet to find one on pronouns.
But I’ll spare you when and if I do.
magolla says
When we write our brains supply the missing words, thus we think we wrote them down. I do it a lot–more than I like to admit. Give us a break. You probably do the same thing in your query letters to editors.
Mira says
So, I leave for alittle while, and when I come back I see that people are finally wondering about my identity.
Okay, then. I’ll clear it up.
Am I Jo?
No, of course not. I would never write public notes saying I was funny. Give me alittle credit.
No, if I wrote public notes to myself they would worship the very ground I walk on. They wouldn’t say things like “crafty blogger.” They would say things like “Oh my goddess, may I please clean your car, take out your trash and clip your toenails, although I am unworthy, I bask in the glow of your radiance, I prostrate myself before you, I quiver in adoration at your feet, I am purified by your greatness, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.
(I hope you’re taking notes, Jo.)
I’m sure that anyone who has had even the tinest contact with me is now nodding their head, thinking, “Yep. That’s what she would say alright.” So, I hope that puts to rest the idea that I am Jo.
Thank you.
Venus says
I really, really hate it when people do that and I think half the people who write that way are emulating Bridget Jones in some misguided notion that it is cool. It makes me feel mildly violent towards them.
lisanneharris says
Dear Nathan,
I have a query question that doesn’t pertain to this post, but I can’t find the answer in your FAQs.
Somewhere you said not to mail queries to every agent out there all at once, yet to definitely query more than one agent at a time.
Can you tell me how many you think is too many to blitz? I mean, are we talking 5, 20, 50, 100?
I’ve discovered that I love querying agents. It’s a daily struggle for me to keep from submitting more while awaiting word on the ones already out. I think I might need a 12-step program.
Thank you in advance for any advice you give.
Sincerely,
Lis’Anne Harris
lisanneharris says
Oh, I want to make it clear that I only email one agent at a time. I don’t send out one email addressed to a gajillion agents.
Thank you!
Your devoted blog reader,
Lis’Anne
Anonymous says
Yay Anon 4:21 with the Wodehouse reference! That’s what I was thinking of too – I love how Bertie writes the multi-page telegram and Jeeves condenses it into just a few short words.
The dropped articles remind me of The Provincial Lady books by Delafield. Now *there’s* someone who could use that style of writing and get away with it! I adore her books and press them upon readers whenever I can.
PurpleClover says
So Mira –
When you say you “left” do you recall what you did while you were “gone”? Or did you lose time, like a blackout? Did you just sudddenly find yourself somewhere doing something and you don’t know how you got there?? Hmm.
Oh Mira – I’m just joshin’ with you! I know you are who you say you are when you do in fact say you are instead of when you are at “Come in Character” when you are instead claiming to be someone you aren’t but that you are in essence since ipso facto the character is a direct construction of your own psyche for your fictional world (i.e. novel). teehehe. No seriously. Bad to give PC sushi and caffeine. 😀
Okay I think I just annoyed myself. Going to bed early! I mean: I’m going to bed early.
Adam Heine says
At least they’re not writing in chat-speak, like “2” instead of “to” or “too”. Or dropping vowels like “nvr”. Or respelling words like “kewl”.
I homeschool a couple of teenagers, and there was a time when they both kept turning in papers written like they had texted them to their friends. FAIL.
amanda says
Quote: Marybeth said…
“Maybe they are confused between a query letter and a text message?”
I just had to state how funny your comment was… oh, oops, i mean….
“ROFL”
LindaBudz says
I’m in the middle of hiring right now and have found people do the same thing with cover letters for job applications.
Come on, people. If you can’t put a little effort into your application, how much effort are you going to put into your job once you’re hired?
Next!