Writing is a solitary pursuit. It takes silence, concentration, patience, and provides a ready excuse to escape any awkward family gathering.
It also takes the forbearance of your friends and family as you toil away on the page or laptop and anguish over rejection letters and bad reviews.
What do they think about it?
Anonymous says
It goes like this:
Me: What does this title sound like to you?
Husband: Like nothing I’d ever read!
At least he’s honest with me. My husband surprised me by registering me for my first writer’s conference (granted he picked one near the Basketball Hall of Fame, Boston, etc.). He supports me but he’s also HONEST and REALISTIC. When I get rejected he says, “It’s about the journey, not the end result.” Blech!! But true. I’m learning every day. Also, he works all the time, too. We lay in bed with our laptops — him catching up on hundreds of e-mails and me writing!
Kristin Laughtin says
They’re my family. They’re all certain that I’ll land the first agent I query, get a nice deal, and have an instant success with my first book. When I try to enlighten them to the realities of the publishing industry (not saying anything negative or even self-deprecatory), they tell me to “think positive”. Honestly, it has the opposite effect of what they hope for because it makes me more nervous about living up to expectations.
Joann Mannix says
I, too, am fortunate enough to have a great support system in the Hubby and the kids. Still, in my little nuclear core, I feel I am definitely in the loneliest profession. There is that place you wander off to in your head, that only other writers understand and in the midst of writing, it’s hard to bring myself out of that mindset and back into the real world. That is my only complaint. In all other ways, when it comes to my clan having my back, I am a fortunate soul.
ryan field says
Walter said…”I’ve always found a way to do it when everyone else is busy with other things, and so as odd as this may sound, the hardly know about it.”
Thank you, Walter. I always did the same thing until recently. I thought I was the only one.
bradfordgarrigues says
My husband and I both write and support each other. However, until our works come out in print (aka, until they are on the shelves of a major bookstore), we do not talk to others about it. My husband does make a few exceptions from time to time, mainly to give his manuscript to others for review (persons with a literary background, of course). This way neither of us suffers a bloated ego from our well-meaning families or the awkward moments of ‘How’s the book coming?’
Just_Me says
My dear husband’s retirement plans revolve around me becoming as popular as JKR in the next 10 year. He probably just supports me because he knows it keeps me sane, and he prefers living with a happy wife, even if it means discussing characters at the dinner table sometimes.
I think the rest of the family tends to watch with morbid fascination, like watching a train wreck. They can’t quite believe someone actually is trying to publish a novel. I’m pretty sure my father isn’t aware of any novelist younger than Douglas Adams. It isn’t the kind of support that gets me a publishing contract without writing a book, but I know they’ll be around to celebrate should I ever actually get published.
MommyJ says
My husband thinks I’m aging prematurely because I write until 2 AM atleast three or four nights a week. Then up with the kids at 7 every single day…. years shaving off the end of my life one, by one, by one…
But he’s supportive. He thinks it’s amazing that when I’m writing, no matter the hour, I rarely yawn because I am so intrigued by my own thoughts. That sounds extremely full of myself… it shouldn’t. Because I’m not… and I’m not particularly intriguing either… but what goes on inside my head often is.
Lupina says
It helped that I kept my day job until I had my first two books published. The fam is generally proud although they don’t understand why I’m not making a million bucks, although I’ve replaced said day job’s modest salary. And they are generally fine with me writing except when they want supper and I’m on deadline. Needless to say, they have all learned to cook.
Jen says
My family is great. I’ve always written, so they’re used to it, I suppose. *grin* My husband is also fantastic. He’s got hobbies of his own that he pursues while I do my writing, and he’s always willing to listen, to be a sounding board, and to lift me up when I get discouraged. Couldn’t ask for more that way. 🙂
All my friends are writers, so they already get it. I’m grateful for them, too.
AC says
My husband supports me 100% too, and I sometimes think he has more faith in me than I do. He’s also great to discuss plot points with. Although since he’s more of a SFF kind of guy, discussing plot for my new literary mystery isn’t exactly his cup of tea. No zombies or stuff exploding.
Robert Gray says
I usually get sympathy smiles, and comments like, “He’s a special boy, you know,” or “How’s our little-writer doing today?”
sex scenes at starbucks says
It took a sale to get actual respect. Now they accept that this is what I do. My kids, when asked what I do, say I’m a writer and my son always wants “the editor” to help him with his grammar.
Anonymous says
Only my husband is interested and supportive. Along with a few friends. Others ignore the fact that I write, and sometimes the writing seems like a sad, ugly stepchild that is locked in the back bedroom. I know people that NEVER acknowledge my writing, even to casually ask, “how’s the book going?” A few friends are supportive. One really does get all kinds of reactions, and at this point (minor publication after years of effort) I stay low key,too, kind of like the sad, ugly stepchild in the upstairs bedroom.
Emily Cross says
Its nice to read how supportive the majority of family and friends are.
When i told my parents that i was going to write, i got the ‘aw really, thats nice dear’ answer. . . . followed shortly by the
‘now about a real career’
*cough*
So no one knows that i write. I’m just wasting away with a boring postgrad, dreaming of success lol
Grapeshot/Odette says
One of my friends said, “I’m not going to read your book because if I didn’t like it I would have to tell you.”
Lisa Katzenberger says
I wrote in secret for years before I told any of my friends. I didn’t think they would get it and I worried that my co-workers wouldn’t take me seriously. But once I quit my job to write full-time and had to tell folks what I was up to, everyone was super supportive. Plus, so many people gave me the old, “oh I’ve always wanted to be a writer too!”
Anonymous says
My older brother just read the first chapter of my novel and told me he was both surprised and impressed. How exactly should I take that?
Chumplet - Sandra Cormier says
My family encourage me, brag about me, pat me on the head and then expect me to give them free books.
Jen says
My parents and friends are very supportive, although sometimes they get peeved that I spend more time with my fictional characters than with them. My family also got highly annoyed when I typed all the way through Thanksgiving…but overall, they’re pretty good about the whole thing. My English teacher (who is also writing a novel) and I are always competing to see who can get more words written in a week (it’s usually me).
Anonymous says
Let’s see. I am more or less unemployed, I write my story on a laptop with missing keys and my two sisters just sat in an office for 2 hours waiting for me to get a script for Paxil. They are awesome and they believe in me.
L.C. Gant says
I’m very blessed to have an amazingly supportive family. My husband would want me to blow bubbles for a living if it made me happy.
That said, my dad has been more supportive of my writing than anyone else. He always wanted to be a writer but for some reason it just didn’t happen, so to be honest I think he wants to live his dream through me.
When I told him I wanted to be an attorney because I thought it would pay better, he was horrified. “You should be a writer!” he said. “Always do what you love, no matter what.” How often do you hear something like that from a parent?! Best advice he ever gave me 🙂
Anonymous says
I think my husband thought this would be our ticket to riches so he let me alone when I began obsessively spending time with the laptop and Microsoft Word. By the time he figured out that this would, in fact, not be our ticket to riches, it was too late–long hours writing had become a part of our lives. 🙂
Sarah Jensen says
My husband and kids support me 90-95% of the time. When the house is no longer livable, they get a little testy. 🙂
Most of my friends write, so they totally get it.
Family, ie, brothers and sisters–they think I’m crazy.
Anonymous says
I stopped telling people I write after my dad said “I know this is touching on a sore subject, but…” in regards to my agent-rejected queries.
It’s not a sore subject, not at all! I’m working hard on fixing all the mistakes from the first time around. But I think that he thought if I wasn’t successful then this was all a waste. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. But family and friends don’t see it that way.
lmgroszek says
I’ve just recently let everyone in on the fact that I’m a writer. I’m a teacher too, so I think they dig that I write. I finished my novel this year and told them when I got over excited about a publishing offer from what turned out to be a company that wasn’t going to do me much good…..otherwise, they still wouldn’t know………
Eva Ulian says
Those, who, for me, had any esteem in my family are now all dead and buried, those who are still around think I’m nuts- but my friends… they all think I’m going to hit the NY Times List- that’s what I call blind faith!
Lady Glamis says
Wow. Lots of comments. Well, Nathan, if you actually read this, here’s my bit.
My family thinks I’m pretty dedicated. And pretty nuts. My husband is supportive, but gets annoyed.
I keep doing it because I love it and I know it will pay off one day, whether through publication or just producing something wonderful.
AstonWest says
Mine love it. Go figure.
Aaron Stephens says
My family supports my passion. I think sometimes I lose them when I start throwing out jargon about writing and the publishing industry. Overall, they like to hear about the trials of putting together a manuscript, the query process, and how other books and such are selling. They also enjoy the fantasy yarns I have created.
My wife is now my biggest supporter, foundation, and my muse. She pushes me in a positive way to keep writing more stories and to never give up on the dream of being published one day.
I have some close friends I share my stories with and they like what I am doing.
Silicon Valley Diva says
My mother also holds a degree in English so she is thrilled. Beyond that, I really don’t bore my friends and family with my writing aspirations. (Even my identical twin sister would probably call me nuts–which I probably am–if I divulged that I long to be a published writer.
I am somewhat fortunate because during the mornings while the kids are at school, I can devote a few hours to my writing.
Ruth says
I am also lucky to have wonderful support.
-BUT-
My father cries because he refuses to believe it’s fiction.
Stephan Alexander Scharnberg says
This is somewhat difficult for me to answer without becoming a little upset.
Although my wife encouraged/encourages me to write, and I have for the last few years, preceded by years of poetry, she nevertheless gets irritated by my writing.
She impatiently expects me to pound out some best-selling novel and earn lots of money for it (says it shouldn’t take more than a year or two–she has no idea what it takes to write, edit, find a publisher–and I write in the last two hours of my second daily full-time job).
Yet she hardly reads or enjoys fiction herself. We argue when I reiterate my reasons for writing: I enjoy it and I am compelled to write–it is as important as sleep, bread, and water.
She also suggests I should write some New Age theory or self-help book, or something–I don’t know what. I know nothing of the New Age movement except that i largely consider it suspect–it’s often a scam or replete with charlatans. If she feels so strongly about it, she should write it herself.
I am working on a travel book. I am an advid reader of Patrick Leigh fermor, Eric Newby, and Paul Theroux. She then accuses me of living in the past–says thta is all useless–I should live in the present, only think of the future.
My, I’m feeling angry now!
Bottom line, in the main, she is actually unsupportive and not understanding of me as a writer.
Mary Moore says
My family supports me and say I’m a good writer, but they don’t understand the work and effort that goes into it behind the scenes.
Stephan Alexander Scharnberg says
Sorry about the typos in my preceding commentary–anger got in the way.
pjd says
My mom says I’m the best. writer. ever. And she wonders why you haven’t signed me as a client yet. I quoted her in the query, too!
Friends are very supportive. Perhaps because over the years I’ve weeded out the ones who are unlikely to be supportive. Like the ones with taste, the ones who can read, etc. Spouse is as supportive as she can be. She understands it, but that doesn’t get the kids to bed, the dishes washed, and the garbage taken out. (I figure if I wait long enough, the garbage will evolve and take itself out.)
Anna says
well, as long as they don’t have to read any of it, and I cook dinner every once in a while, it seems to be a non-issue. my kids are too old to hope for a pony, but if I ever make any money, I know hubby would appreciate a new car stereo.
otherwise they are nice and supportive, in a hands-off sort of way. having said that, by the end of a project, hubby’s ready for some attention. can’t say I blame him.
Anonymous says
Uhm…considering I’m a minor with two very athletic siblings, my parents are a weird mix of having to support me because I’m their daughter and not liking it becuase its not a very social habit (that, and they want me to write rainbow-and-kitten stories, which is why they don’t get to read it. anything with blood and they would never let me touch a keyboard again).
Cindy Jacks says
When I first made the decision to pursue writing as a professional, they resented the amount of time I spent clacking away at my laptop. Since then, I’ve learned to balance family time with writing time. Being a very disciplined writer, it’s easy for me to write at the same time every night once the fam is in bed.
Anonymous says
I’m told I’m selfish.
Stef Kramer says
My family tolerates my emotional absence. They enjoy my finished products. And my husband is thankful for my paying bank job.
Anonymous says
I may be headed for divorce, exactly because of this problem.
Scotty says
Has anyone seen this? Nathan?
https://www.borders.com.au/chain-thriller/home.asp
The world’s first “chain novel” inspired by James Patterson. Sounds kind of cool, and not an idea that couldn’t be done on your better blogs.
Hint.
Hint. ;^)
Anonymous says
The ex was supportive until the 1st book started winning contests and getting agent/editor requests. But he’s history. Now that the youngest kidlet is in college, the time I spend writing is rarely an issue. Interestingly, in one of those corporate touchy-feely lets all get to know one another sessions, I came out. I couldn’t believe how supportive everyone was, especially since I write romance. At one Xmas party, my boss insisted I tell everyone the plot of my book because she thought it was so cool. One of my colleagues assured me he and his wife would come to my booksigning when I sold a book. I’ll hold him to it when it happens. 🙂
Two weeks ago my daughter asked to read my book. I printed out 100 pages, thinking she wouldn’t finish it. She did and begged for more. She read the whole thing and told me to hurry up with the next book because she needs something to read. That’s the best kind of support. 🙂
Jean says
Are you kidding? I told my parents about a new blog I’m making and they are pestering me every five minutes on how I should do things differently so I can (Self-publish it–yeah right) and make a pile of money (not knowing it would take the next five years of my life to make even five dollars off it!). There is no way they are getting their hands on my real writing. No way.
My husband on the other hand is IMMENSELY supportive and he’s the best. Very great.
Anita Saxena says
My Mom and Dad aren’t readers, but they understand that it makes me happy. My brother doesn’t have time to read since he’s busy with dental school, but he’s proud of my writing just the same. My boyfriend doesn’t believe in fiction, reading it, or writing it, and yet he is EXTREMELY supportive. In fact he came up with the idea that was the glue for my current novel.
I think those who know me agree that when I write and read I am the happiest, and therefore they are supportive.
Dreamers Dream says
my mom never believed in me until a few days ago when someone told me to contact some magazine editor to get them published- haha, i got excited and showed my mom some of the things i’ve written, and ever since then- she’s been here 24/7
😀
And my friends just think it’s really “cool” and proud of the goals ive been setting, but i think they are just waiting to see those goals achieve!
Nancy Coffelt says
The nicest present my husband ever gave me was making his way up to my office/studio known as the “troll hole” and tell me that after reading a biography of another writer, he’d finally figured me out.
Now I don’t have to explain my constant distraction, a laundry room of mis-matched socks and frozen pizza for dinner more than a couple nights a week. What a relief! And better than a diamond ring any day.
Linda says
Getting personal here, Nathan.
This question gets my gut all tight, and all I can say is I’m glad so many people ‘above me’ get the support they need from the people they love.
People in my family generally don’t get my need to write. After three years, I’ve finally stopped apologizing. Winning a thousand bucks in a first chapter contest at least dissipated the ‘why ya wasting your time’ ‘tudes.
Peace…
The Geeky Quill says
My husband thinks it’s a complete waste of time. My kids think it’s kind of cool. Extended family think I’m probably insane. I avoid talking about my writing with friends. When they say, ” I heard you’re writing a novel.” I just paste on a smile and nod.
Anonymous says
I hear a lot of, ‘are you changing it AGAIN?’ I reply, “Is there something you want me to do for you?” They slink off. And, I continue on my merry way.
Blessings.