In the course of reading the 400+ queries that came in while I was away (answered!), I saw my share of homonym problems, which I usually just chalk up to typos. There’s one, however, that gets me every time: peak/peek/pique. As I Tweeted yesterday, my interest is never “peaked” or “peeked.” It’s only piqued. (Although certainly my interest peaks when I see someone misuse pique.)
My friend Holly Burns recently blogged about the best mispronunciations she’s ever heard, and there certainly are some doozies.
What are your favorite/least favorite malaprops, Spoonerisms, homonym errors, and/or other tips of the slongue or tpyos? Any in particular that always drive you crazy?
Anonymous says
I have slight dyslexia. Sometimes words that are close are challenging for me. I am always learning.
But that doesn't necessarily mean I can't write or tell a good story.
I respect and appreciate the people who would nicely correct/inform me.
The ones who throw me out their door or ridicule me may just be too snobby and maybe should learn some patience.
My first husband thought football was something you knew or didn't. I never cared for football when I was married to him.
My present husband brings me in, tells me what the plays are as we are watching a game, and surprise, surprise, I have come to LOVE football.
Thermocline says
My wife tries to convince her mother "flustrated" is not a word. You're either flustered or frustrated. Not both.
Me? I say nothing. Nope. No flustration here.
Nick says
disinterested/uninterested.
They are completely different, yet people confuse them all the time, and when they do you actually work out what they mean:
To say that an umpire was disinterested is a great compliment. To say that he was uninterested is a great insult.
Most obvious mistakes you can work out by context – this one you can't.
dawt says
"Oh, no you di-ent!"
"I don't speak La-en"
ugh
Anonymous says
Empathize/Symphathize.
Inquire/enquire – US,UK
Remuneration/Renumeration misspell
Aural/oral
Pronunciation:
Ask …arks
Lindsey Himmler says
My favorite was my brother. At a very nice restaurant as a child, he asked the waiter for a petite filet. Only he said it without knowing the origin of the words. So instead, he asked for a "pettiet filett."
Kristin Laughtin says
Irregardless. Without irregard? It doesn't make sense.
Tangentially related, but I also hate "for all intensive purposes."
Robena Grant says
An elderly neighbor describing her husband's condition as "having almost died from walking ammonia" is a good one. Also, breathe for breath, and chose for choose, and lose for loose, and I work really hard to make sure I don't commit any of those crimes. ; )
Deborah Blake Dempsey says
Supposedly pronounces as Supposably. I cannot express the irritation I feel when I hear this. Luckily, most people spell it correctly but slaughter it verbally.
Megan says
Orientated or disorientated
Anonymous says
i find it funny when people try to sound intelligent by using a reflexive pronoun (incorrectly). "He's an artsy, writerly type… much like myself."
Or
by incorrectly ending a sentence with I, as in: "that's a lovely photo of you and I."
Joi says
"Pique" is my big thing, too. Makes me irrationally angry to see it typed "peeked" or "peaked."
In answer to those who have stated that it's not such a big deal, language changes, etc. True! And nothing we can do will ever stop that. However, that's no excuse for letting words be lost. When "peaked" means "piqued" and "reached the maximum," then we have lost a great word. One of the greatest things about the English language is its range–there are so many different ways to say things! It would be a shame to see that range of expression narrowed.
Joi says
I forgot to mention one!
I had a boss who, in a meeting about our new social media project, kept talking about "viro marketing." Took us forever to convince her that it was "viral" marketing.
Meghan says
I'm not sure anyone has ever written this but, I just can't stand it when someone say a whole nother. What is a 'nother?'
Doris Fisher, children's author says
Picture and pitcher…
Let me show you a pitcher of my dog…for example.
Sandra says
May I mention two? I see a lot of confusion between "phase" (a noun meaning stage) and "faze." (a verb meaning to disconcert) Also "conscience" (a noun referring to the sense of right and wrong) and "conscious." (an adjective meaning aware)
Karen says
I cannot believe how often people misuse the word "literally."
A guy in church the other day said, "We planted so many tomatoes, they were literally coming out of our ears."
While it was quite a humorous mental image, I'm pretty sure he lied in church.
Anonymous says
I have to add a few more:
– respectfully for respectively
– primer (a book) pronounced like a paint undercoat
– and a favorite from a fellow writer who did NOT believe me when I told her the dictionary guy was Noah Webster, not Daniel.
There are so many ways to mess up, it's a wonder we ever get it right.
clovisthecomely says
"He was hung" instead of "he was hanged." As in manner of execution, not what you were thinking.
Things little kids say, that become things adults say. Like "Valentimes Day," and "complected" instead of "complexioned."
writtenwyrdd says
Nuk-yuh-ler instead of nuclear. W made me loathe a mispronounciation I already disliked to the point I practically break out in hives when I hear it.
T.M. Lunsford says
Defiantly in the place of definitely is one of my biggest pet peeves!
Anonymous says
I'd like a roast beast sandwich with au jus, please.
Anonymous says
i had a secretary tell me there's no such word as internecine (warfare, the context being a faculty meeting). don't know if that fits your categories but her rationale was that she was an english major and had never heard of it.
Michael says
There are a couple:
1. Monkies
2. Past and Passed
clovisthecomely says
And I always have to check my writing for "wretched" and "retched."
I know the difference, but seem to love that "w."
Anonymous says
I've seen some creative ones lately. "Revelry" for "reverie," "fait" for "fate," "are" for "our" (those two in the same sentence), and lots and lots of "lighting" or "lightening" during storms.
Munk says
I hate that one too Michael… Munkies is much better.
RLS says
true story:
In college a woman was upset by something someone said.
Her response?
I'm very offensive.
Wait. Huh?
LCS249 says
There's
every time it should be
There are
… If I have to explain why, you shouldn't even be here…
CSI, House, it's everywhere.
(And Hugh Laurie should know better.)
Suzann Ellingsworth says
Anxious as synonymous with eager.
Phrase: chomping at the bit.
Horses do not chomp at bits. Bits do not span horses' teeth, but span a span between their lower teeth.
Horses do *champ* at bits, meaning waggle their jaws and harry them with their tongues.
JenniferWriter says
I go insane when people say "weary" but instead of meaning fatigued they mean a combination or "wary" and "leery." Even my twin sister did it once and I nearly decked her. *pulls hair*
Kasey says
A good friend of mine pronounces "Asymptote" (like in math) as Ass-im-a-tote and "comforter" (like for a bed) as come-fin-der, much to the amusement of everyone she knows.
Claire Dawn says
Your interest doesn't peek over mountain peeks? Seriously??? :O
I'm pretty bad about homonymn typos. Especially since I live in Japan and if it weren't for the interwebs, I'd have no reason to use complex English. I'm more likely to mix up hear/here, write/rightetc.
Kelly Bryson says
My nine year old keeps saying jalapeno with a straight English pronounciation. I keep telling him the J says 'h' and the n is 'ny' and the emphAsis is different, but he hasn't gotten it;)There's a whole bunch of words that my little readers mispronounce, but it's funny. Like how I still can't pronouce tete-a-tete. I'm not even sure if I spelled it right.
Marge says
Mine echos Karla's — people I deem to be intelligent, learned folks, constantly use "yours" in place of "your's". As in: I'm yours. It's simple, really. But then it's and its are simple as well and the masses get those wrong.
Marge says
okay, so forget my previous example. What I MEANT to say was those who use things like "Your special; your cute; your okay" instead of you're.
My brain is fuddled; ignore me.
Whirlochre says
I always thought a homonymn was a form of unrequeited Trekkie romance, but now that the Sylar guy has the reins on the whole Vulcan lurve thang, no-one in the universe can meditate in peace.
Elaine Wilhelm says
Oh, this is embarrassing. If you have lived in San Francisco, you'll get it. I was about ten years old and it was during a heated game of Trivial Pursuit. I got a card that asked, "What is an important town square in Russia?" and I blurted out, "MOSCONE CENTER!"
Elaine 'still writing' Smith says
Nathan
"I'm greatful for the time you spend reading this"
has to be the perfect way to end that original submission.
Allison says
This might not be truly relevant to the discussion at hand, but I have a friend who went through most of her life wondering what the "t" stood for in "Jesus t. Christ".
Of course, the sign in front of her church had his name written out and, in between "Jesus" and "Christ" there was a small white cross.
Hence the "t".
Marge says
so I obviously have LOTS of least favorites: But the license plate in Pennsylvania–at least when I lived there 20+ years ago, said "You've got a friend in Pennsylvania." Made me cringe!
Carrie says
Best Spoonerism Ever.(This is going to be long but it's worth reading.) My best friend Brianna, guilty of such Spoonerisms as, "I have a crain bramp" – instead of "brain cramp" – once was entertaining some Disney execs at Disneyland. She was a Disney employee and these folks were from the Florida park. I was there for this, btw, and I had been extensively counseled on how to behave. I was to behave, in you're wondering, like a perfect lady, because Brianna was eager to make a good impression on these uptight do-gooders. SO – night is coming on, it is unseasonably cold in Orange County, and Brianna decides to comment on the smart choice she made re: her footwear. Except she says the following, "I love my thick cocks." Not SOCKS. No, sir. That's not what she said. Nor was she talking about footwear or the cold in advance. It was silent, and then she announced, "I love thick cocks." Arguably the hardest I have ever laughed in my entire life. Because, you know, the perfect lady crap was out the door at that point.
Anonymous says
In the course of reading the 400+ queries that came in while I was away (answered!)
Wow. Just, Wow. You went through 419 query letters in two days. That has to be an all-time record for an Agent screwing over the 419 people who submitted to him.
It took me about 5 minutes each just to read the two query letters posted over at D&G and I was only reading them, not trying to evaluate their strengths or weaknesses.
Even at 5 mintues each, it should have taken some 35 hours to get through all those submissions.
I suggest those 419 people submit to someone who might give you the time and attention that you deserve.
What a schmuck.
P.S.: You can't hide your incompetence forever. Man up a little.
Nathan Bransford says
(deleted) anon-
Just for your own information, I'm faster than you and average about 3 minutes per query. That's plenty of time to read 300-500 words. 3 minutes times 419 queries is about twenty hours. How did I do that in two days? By working from 7:30 am to 8:30 PM Monday and Tuesday.
It's not magic.
I'm deleting you from here on out. Work harder instead of taking out your frustrations anonymously on a blog.
annerallen says
Thanks for letting us vent here, Nathan. The thing that drives me NUTS is native English speakers who suddenly can't pronounce "th" in words like "anesthesia" and "aesthetic." It's becoming epidemic. Half the Grey's Anatomy doctors "an-es-TE-sized" their patients last week. I think this must be because so many US doctors speak English as a second language, so now we're unlearning the correct pronunciation and copying the foreign accents.
Christi Goddard says
Crimony, I could lament about this for hours.
your/you're
its/it's
all right/alright
wonder/wander
where/were
alot/a lot
definitely/definately (WHY? WHY?)
peek/peak/pique (of course)
heroin/heroine
baited/bated
the list goes on and on…
Kathryn Magendie says
I am having such fun reading these – and laughing, too.
I can't think of any to add. I do hate some of the over-used phrases that drive me up the wall–for example,
"on a daily basis" (or monthly/weekly basis)-
"I walk the dog on a daily basis." "I brush my teeth on a daily basis." erk- drives me crazy.
Marge says
This really has morphed into regional speak: My father used to refer to the creek in our pasture as the crick, roof as ruf, and to my mother's constant irritation "I guess" instead of "yes, please." And then there's my husband who refers to a tempest in a teapot as a "soap-box opera". But in the final analysis, some of the language faux pas we hear in our friends and family are what endear them to us. I hope.
Anonymous says
Sherbert, ecscape, drownded.
Anne-Marie says
I don't mind US, UK, and Canadian spelling variations- that's what makes the language rich. However, the following make me crazy:
Nu-cu-lar. No matter how often it gets excused as an alternate pronunciation, I will never accept it.
It's /its ??? Why is it so hard?
The idea that using the word "niggardly" has become controversial. In French, the word for seal (written phoque) sounds like fuck. Does that mean the French need to change it or stop using it? Idiotic.