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A Blog Post on Repetition, Repetition That Is Distracting

March 9, 2010 by Nathan Bransford 145 Comments

I don’t know if I’m just now noticing, noticing the way some writers repeat certain words or phrases for emphasis. But I’ve been seeing this so much lately, seeing how authors are taking a word or two from the beginning of a sentence and using them again to elaborate, using them in a way that I think is supposed to sound lyrical. As with any writing technique it can be done well, done well in a way that emphasizes a key word or two. But when it’s overused, overused again and again, it can begin to drive the reader crazy, crazy in a way that you definitely don’t want to drive a reader.

Please be careful with repetition, repetition that can become distracting if it’s used too much, used too much in an attempt to create a lyrical style, a lyrical style that is undermined by the repetition.

Filed Under: Writing Advice Tagged With: How to Write a Novel, writing advice

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Olleymae says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    THAT'S HILARIOUS, hilarious in a way that makes me laugh.

    I will try to avoid this in my writing!!!! Although, now that I've done it, it's kind of fun.

    Reply
  2. clindsay says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    Awesome! I was just talking about this to another agent yesterday.

    Reply
  3. Anonymous says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Ha! Clever point. Clever.

    Reply
  4. sally apokedak says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    You made me laugh, laugh like I haven't laughed in a while.

    Reply
  5. Lisa Schroeder says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    This made me laugh out loud, laugh out LOUD, I tell you Nathan.

    You are so funny. Funny, dude!!! FUNNY!!!

    Reply
  6. Torie underlines says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    hahahahhahaha. nice.

    Reply
  7. Jon says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Funny how trends seem to pop up. Where do you think it came from?

    Reply
  8. Anonymous says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    i love you so called experts..WHO have never achieved SUCCESS in any way writing…now experts!

    NOT EXPERTS!!
    I repeat, NOT EXPERTS..just wannabes, who can't admit FAILURE.

    Reply
  9. JohnO says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    But this? This is only the first post on the subject? Subject us to one more, eh? Eh, while we're on the subject, Ben Greenman used repetition to interesting effect yesterday in McSweeney's:

    https://www.mcsweeneys.net/2010/3/8greenman.html

    Reply
  10. Anonymous says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    And now we're all doing it. Doing it in a way that isn't as funny as the original.

    Reply
  11. Nathan Bransford says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    anon@8:20-

    Dude. My novel isn't even out yet. At least read it before you give it a bad review!

    Reply
  12. Tina Lynn says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    *snort laugh* That was awesome. Awesome in a way that transcends all other forms of awesomeness. Awesomeness that can only be achieved by one such as you. You the clever agent/writer.

    Reply
  13. Jessica Young says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Hilarious! Maybe you could write political speeches?

    Reply
  14. Teresa Green 1984 says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Okay that gave me a headache. It was very much like looking at the picture of a mirror image that keeps getting repeated and smaller and smaller and smaller.

    Reply
  15. Anonymous says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    Painful and timely.

    In poetry and music, repeating phrases, notes, words work. They weave the music.

    For those of us from those realms, we need to curb our inclinations.

    Reply
  16. Andrea says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Love your amusing way to make a point!

    Reply
  17. The Pollinatrix says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Repetition can definitely be lyrical, which is why it can work so well in poetry.

    In fact, I think this post could be given line breaks and turned into a smashing poem.

    Reply
  18. Tiffany says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Guilty.

    Reply
  19. Aimee Laine says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Thanks for the laugh!! And well put. I'm one who tries not to do it … over the top … and sometimes the thesaurus is not your friend. 🙂

    Reply
  20. Janet says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    I'm swaying, swaying in my cubicle. Damn, I need some coffee, coffee, coffee to keep from swaying.

    Reply
  21. Shaun Hutchinson says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    This is totally going to call me out as the loser I am, but I I noticed this trend on Grey's Anatomy. At least twice per episode, someone gives a rousing speech and where they use this type of repetition. I'm sad to see that it's crossed over into books because it's grating when they do it on TV.

    Reply
  22. The Rejectionist says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    But sometimes you have to be all like STARBUCK IS AMAZING STARBUCK IS AMAZING STARBUCK IS AMAZING!!!!!!!

    Reply
  23. Linda Godfrey says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    I think it comes from watching too much Grey's Anatomy, where every character makes cute repetitive speeches ie "I never wanted to be McSqueamy. I NEVER wanted to be McSqueamy. You are McSqueamy. I am not McSqueamy. So give me back my scalpel. Now. McSqueamy."

    Those writers should read this blog.

    Reply
  24. Linda Godfrey says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Shaun – just saw your post after posting same thought. Together in Loserville (although I have stopped watching for that reason.

    Reply
  25. ~Jamie says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Did this come up in my google reader twice on purpose? If so, then that was pretty much genius.

    My favorite super villain right now is lady redundant woman. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WordGirl

    She's the bomb, the bomb like the coolest girl on the block.

    Reply
  26. ryan field says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    This is common in first drafts, and it happens to most writers. I once read somewhere that it has to do with the sub-conscious. I'm guilty of doing it myself and I'm paranoid about it now.

    But when you are conscious about it, the repetitious words can easily be removed during edits.

    Good Post, and very helpful.

    Reply
  27. Books Dudes Will Read says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Recently read &, overall, enjoyed a Newberry winner (not this year's, certainly) that employed this technique. The repetition was generally of an adjective; not every modifier, but about once or twice per chapter. I'd say the author was establishing voice (it's written in 1st person. Still, the plot was compelling, the character quirky, & the setting well-drawn. Other than the distracting repetition, word choices were also high-quality. I just thought it interesting, NB, that the thing that irked me about that book is something that annoys you, too, in writing. Give me variety any day, thanks.

    Reply
  28. Nathan Bransford says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    jamie-

    That was actually because I accidentally set an earlier draft to publish this morning and forgot all about it – and the word repetitive was misspelled. Whoooops! Coincidence worked though.

    Reply
  29. Steve Fuller says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    That is some beautiful writing, Nathan. Some of your best yet.

    Reply
  30. Amanda J. says

    March 9, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    HAHA! Funny, but please don't do that again… 🙂

    Reply
  31. Steven Till says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Do you have a specific example from a story that you could share with us? Are you talking about repeating the same words within the same sentence, or even with the same paragraph?

    The examples in your post will drive a reader crazy. That's way overdone, but like you said, I've read plenty of authors who use this technique really well. Such authors employ repetition in a subtle way so as not to distract readers, but in a manner that still maintains a consitent rhythm and pacing to the story.

    Reply
  32. Nathan Bransford says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    steven-

    I couldn't share anything specifically. As you said, it can definitely be done well and in a way that doesn't distract the reader. I think when it doesn't work is when it's used again and again and again and it's a writing tic rather than a conscious strategy. Does that make sense?

    Reply
  33. Christine Danek says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    Very funny. I am sure everyone is guilty of this at some point.

    Reply
  34. Lydia Kang says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    I'll bet you see this in queries ad nauseum.

    Reply
  35. trishtash says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Oh how I laughed. Laughed my socks off. Socks I bought only last week. Last week when I went shopping for new socks, to replace, yes, replace the socks I had laughed off last time I laughed my socks off.

    Reply
  36. Josin L. McQuein says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    If you think repetition is annoying, then you don't get it.

    If you think repetition is done poorly, then you simply don't have the skill to understand the lyrical nature of the author's musing ramble.

    If you think repetition has been overused then you're probably re-reading the same query 27 1/2 times in a row 😉

    If you think repetition will end because you make a blog post about the tendency for it to be redundant rather than emphatic, then you're naive.

    If you think repetition ended up in this post spelled correctly without the aid of Firefox's spellchecker, then you're wrong. (darn dyslexic fingers!)

    If you think repetition… bleh, even I'm tired of it at this point…

    Reply
  37. Tiffany Neal says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Okay. You just made my brain spin.

    Reply
  38. gray says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    good advice, well presented 🙂

    Reply
  39. Thermocline says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    My running list of words I lean on keeps running and running and running…

    Reply
  40. Sam says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    Nathan– this is an unrelated issue, but I couldn't find anything in your archives to hint at an answer.

    How do agents & editors feel about epigraphs? Thank you in advance.

    Reply
  41. Monica says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    Hee hee, Shaun and Linda, I was going to post the exact same thought about Grey's Anatomy.

    Cracks me up that I'm not the only one annoyed by it.

    Reply
  42. Seven says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    I wonder if people still remember listening to records that skip, and repeat over and over. A 'broken record', a term I haven't heard in a long time. This reminded me of that from when I was a kid.

    I doubt most people today have owned records and record players, much less listened to songs or stories that way.

    Reply
  43. Zoe says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    That hurt my head a little.

    Point has been made and noted!

    Reply
  44. Kathryn Paterson says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Oh God, now I'm totally paranoid, because I sometimes do this (except I've been told I do it well). But now I'm thinking "if I query Nathan, I better not have REPETITION!" Ha ha ha ha ha. Sometimes I think agent blogs just add to our insecurities. Even though this was really, really funny.

    Reply
  45. John Jack says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    Ma and 'em used to call me three times before I took 'em serious like.

    "Why three times? Because anything less is unsatisfying, because anything more is redundant, because Aristotle and Lewis Carroll said that what I tell you three times is true. Three times, on a rising scale of effort, commitment, and depth of knowledge of the problem and one’s self, is the correct number. Human beings believe that three times has an effect which two does not. Conversely, four creates overkill."

    From "The Basics of Writing" by Algis Budrys. February 2009 W&IOTF Herald Newsletter. https://www.writersofthefuture.com/newsletter/february09.htm

    Aristotle says pretty much the same thing about repetition in _Poetics_, from which Budrys cites.

    But repetition that doesn't escalate tension is pointless.

    Reply
  46. Seamus says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    Time to stop. My head hurts. (Thanks for the riff.)

    Reply
  47. AjFrey says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    My first draft was drowning in repetitions. But that's all cleaned up. This post was hilarious. Hilarious because it's true. K, I'll stop. Bet, this is also one of those posts that will fill your inbox full of clever. Lol imitation= flattery.

    Reply
  48. Stina Kanaris says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    I have to agree with the people who commented on Grey's Anatomy, it drives insane just listening to it, I wouldn't be able to get through a book that had it as well.

    Hilarious blog, though!

    Reply
  49. Brittany says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    I've seen this so much in books, so much that it's beginning to get really annoying, annoying so that I want to write a repetitive letter to the writer about his annoying repetition.

    Reply
  50. Haste yee back ;-) says

    March 9, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Are you lookin' at me? Are you LOOKIN' at ME!

    Watch the movie WOODSTOCK and witness Richie Havens occupy 15-20 minutes of your life with one word — Freedom.

    Haste yee back 😉

    Reply
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