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A Blog Post on Repetition, Repetition That Is Distracting

March 9, 2010 by Nathan Bransford 145 Comments

I don’t know if I’m just now noticing, noticing the way some writers repeat certain words or phrases for emphasis. But I’ve been seeing this so much lately, seeing how authors are taking a word or two from the beginning of a sentence and using them again to elaborate, using them in a way that I think is supposed to sound lyrical. As with any writing technique it can be done well, done well in a way that emphasizes a key word or two. But when it’s overused, overused again and again, it can begin to drive the reader crazy, crazy in a way that you definitely don’t want to drive a reader.

Please be careful with repetition, repetition that can become distracting if it’s used too much, used too much in an attempt to create a lyrical style, a lyrical style that is undermined by the repetition.

Filed Under: Writing Advice Tagged With: How to Write a Novel, writing advice

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mira says

    March 9, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    Hey. Did my post sound critical of your point, Nathan? It wasn't. I think this is really interesting – and I never thought about it before.

    I appreciate the head's up. It's good to do things consciously. It's also good to be aware that the reader can find it irritating.

    So, this is good!

    Reply
  2. Marilyn Peake says

    March 9, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    Michael said:
    "Just because one shot of vodka makes you more fun to be around, a dozen can make you pain in the ass."

    ROFLOL. That's hilarious…and true!

    Reply
  3. Cory Emberson says

    March 9, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    And what of the repetitive rhetorical question? 🙂

    Reply
  4. Amber Tidd Murphy says

    March 9, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Here, here!

    Wait, is that the way you spell "here, here" when raising a glass to toast Nathan Bransford for his wit?

    Spelling a word wrong when using it twice must be the ultimate repetition fail.

    Reply
  5. Nancy says

    March 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    Postman,

    I recently edited a novel where two of the characters were 1930s British and the author insisted on using the phrase "sticky wicket" (difficult situation) more than once as one of too few devices to flesh out the characters' personalities and cultural leanings. I had a difficult time explaining why using the phrase more than once didn't work. "Sticky wicket" hits me the same way that "cyclopean" hits you. It seems that Nathan is similarly struck by repetitive word/sentence structures. These instances hit us between the eyes and wrestle us to the ground for our sensibilities. All I could say to the author was "But… but it's a neon sign telling the reader to turn left when all s/he wants to do is read forward." Fun post Nathan. 🙂 n

    Word verification: powdo, as in "Pow–do you want it?"

    Reply
  6. LCS249 says

    March 10, 2010 at 12:06 am

    semantics.
    not symantic(s).
    (that's a software company.)

    Pretty sure this technique of repetition comes out of copywriting (advertising). It's a good one for pulling the reader through the copy.

    Should not be used for "creative writing."

    Reply
  7. Andrea M. Bodel says

    March 10, 2010 at 12:34 am

    I copy and paste my novel one chapter at a time into a tag cloud generator to avoid repeating words excessively. >_>

    Reply
  8. JTShea says

    March 10, 2010 at 1:29 am

    Good good post post Nathan Nathan! But but is is there there an an echo echo in in here here?

    Reply
  9. Marilyn Peake says

    March 10, 2010 at 1:32 am

    I’ve also learned that sentence length should be varied. If all the sentences in a book or short story are around the same length, the monotony tends to put the reader to sleep. Length of sentences needs to vary between long and short. One author who’s very good at varying sentence length is J.K. Rowling.

    Of course, I used the same words repetitively in the above paragraph, but it’s just a blog comment and I’m very, very tired right now. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Ben-M says

    March 10, 2010 at 1:43 am

    There's another type of repetition that annoys me.

    When used in lists for humorous emphasis, be it colors, or cars, or colors, or girls, or colors, I can encounter it once in a novel and have a chuckle. But when the same mechanic appears again later, even if about something completely different, like smells, or clothing, or smells, or tools, or smells, I roll my eyes: The joke's been done.

    Reply
  11. AjFrey says

    March 10, 2010 at 2:48 am

    The other type of repetition that bugs me is to throw about fifteen metaphors after a single concept. Her eyes were blue like the ocean. Blue as the the sky, Blue as a 1000 flushes after only one flush. Got it. Blue.

    Reply
  12. AjFrey says

    March 10, 2010 at 2:51 am

    I meant simile. If one is to rant, they should get their words right first. I shall wear my dunce hat and sit in corner.

    Reply
  13. Myrna Foster says

    March 10, 2010 at 2:56 am

    This is why your posts make me smile.

    Reply
  14. Lindsey Edwards says

    March 10, 2010 at 2:57 am

    What a way to point out the annoying use of repetition. I have used this technique a time or two, but it's the overuse that drives one nuts!

    Reply
  15. Ishta Mercurio says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:28 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And now, now that I know to watch out for this habit of repetition, repetition that can be annoying, I'll try my best not to inflict it on unsuspecting readers – readers of my work.

    I LOVED this post. Thank you for a much-needed laugh.

    Reply
  16. Nicole says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:40 am

    LOL. Point taken, taken to heart.

    Reply
  17. gennyca says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:49 am

    I work on my novel and remove the repetition. I post on my blog and allow myself a couple. Now I have a radio show and am told, repeat, repeat! Sheesh…three ways to tell a story, each with its own set of rules.

    Reply
  18. Other Lisa says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:58 am

    HEH! And what sentence was I editing when I popped over here to read this post? At the risk of embarrassing myself:

    "Up the hill, she thought, if she walked up the hill she thought it led to a large avenue…"

    Ouch.

    Reply
  19. Jimmy Ng says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:59 am

    Holy crap! I noticed you were doing it while you were talking about it. Freakin awesome.

    A writer friend of mine read a published writer does this to emphasize a point, or whatever his intention maybe. But I think some authors mistake this as a formulaic way of writing.

    Aside from basic structure, should there be or is there a formulaic way of telling a good story?

    Jimmy Ng

    Reply
  20. Lucy says

    March 10, 2010 at 4:02 am

    Ow, that hurt. No, I can't bring myself to repeat it. 😀

    Reply
  21. Jens Porup says

    March 10, 2010 at 4:21 am

    When it's done well, though, it can be incredibly effective. Here's H.P. Lovecraft at work:

    Mere dinosaurs were new and almost brainless objects — but the builders of the city were wise and old, and had left certain traces in rocks even then laid down well nigh a thousand million years — rocks laid down before the true life of earth had advanced beyond plastic groups of cells — rocks laid down before the true life of earth had existed at all.

    Reply
  22. Nuria Coe says

    March 10, 2010 at 7:47 am

    Okay, okay, you made your point, enough, enough already!

    Reply
  23. Anonymous says

    March 10, 2010 at 9:12 am

    that's why i like the cheesy movie armageddon, the characters say everything twice, they repeat everything.

    Reply
  24. SphinxnihpS of Aker-Ruti says

    March 10, 2010 at 11:23 am

    I thought this post reminded me of something. I believe it was this. Wonder where this type of trend comes from?

    Jodi

    Reply
  25. katrin says

    March 10, 2010 at 11:47 am

    What's with the anonymous posts? "I love you so-called experts." Um, hang on a minute, here. You, Nathan, are someone who makes their living selling books to publishers. MAKES A LIVING DOING THIS (no small feat). You don't know about writing? Who does, then?

    Reply
  26. Talewright says

    March 10, 2010 at 11:58 am

    I really really hate and dislike with loathing people who redundantly and constantly repeat themselves over and over again and again trying to sound lyrical and musical and creative by repeating themselves constantly instead of just telling a good, well-written story and tale. Hate it, I does!

    Reply
  27. JR says

    March 10, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    StoryMill for Mac has a feature that checks out which words get repeated the most. Really useful

    Reply
  28. T. Wolfe says

    March 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    You almost sounded like Dr. Suess for a moment. LOL

    At one time I was told that I do have a habit of repeating words. Now I am more aware. Hopefully.

    Reply
  29. sex scenes at starbucks says

    March 10, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    I have to admit, this is probably my biggest pet peeve because it is so absolutely self-indulgent on the part of the writer.

    Reply
  30. J.J. Bennett says

    March 10, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    LOL!!!!!

    Perfect.

    Reply
  31. Misty says

    March 10, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Shoot. I do that. Will pay more attention and revise again. Thank you!

    Reply
  32. lotusgirl says

    March 10, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    LOL. Point made. Point taken.

    Reply
  33. Rachel Hamm says

    March 11, 2010 at 12:03 am

    I am so guilty!

    hopefully, not this guilty, but any bit of guilty is bad!

    Reply
  34. Mira says

    March 11, 2010 at 3:08 am

    So, I'm STILL thinking this one over. I guess I feel confused about this, because I utilize this technique alot – but I also think you're saying something important here, Nathan. So, I guess the question is, when and how can this be done effectively?

    When is this a good tactic, and when does it become so annoying
    it breaks the reader's trance. That's the big no-no, right? Breaking the reader's trance by doing something that calls attention to itself.

    Arrrggghhhh. I'm still confused. Darn you, Mr. Bransford. I shall ponder some more. 🙂

    Reply
  35. Bernard S. Jansen says

    March 11, 2010 at 6:03 am

    That post was only 148 words long, yet reading it gave me pain in behind my eyes.

    Reply
  36. Simon says

    March 11, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    it's ironic that in a thread about repetition everyone keeps making the same joke.

    Reply
  37. Lt. Cccyxx says

    March 12, 2010 at 12:31 am

    You sound like Robert James Waller in this post…hey, it worked for him, and he certainly isn't literary! (lol)

    Reply
  38. Anonymous says

    March 12, 2010 at 1:02 am

    I laughed really hard at this, then I started getting paranoid.

    "Did this guy just read my work on Booksie and got inspired by my repetition?" I thought. Nah.

    ladebbie

    Reply
  39. Kathryn says

    March 12, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Ha ha! I think all writers should read this… it will certainly make me think twice before repeating anything for emphasis!

    Reply
  40. Anonymous says

    March 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Hi Nathan
    Just finished my first novel for the sixteenth time. Now, I have to edit again for repeated phrases and words. Being an aerospace engineer that is trying to write, I can now verify that writing is more difficult than doing a flutter analysis on any aircraft. I know I have several repeated phrases.
    Well, at least the names of the characters have not been revised.

    Thanks for all the free education

    Reply
  41. Keith says

    March 12, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    In dialogue, one can distract the reader with the cunning insertion of a gratuitous character name, Nathan, a gratuitous character name.

    Reply
  42. Margaret says

    March 13, 2010 at 12:45 am

    That's why God created editors.

    Reply
  43. Anonymous says

    March 13, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    Don't you just hate a person that always talks about himself, or herself. All the 'I did this' or 'I think that' or 'I have' begins to grind on you after even a short conversation?
    Now, if you write a story in first person because most of the tension is in the main character's mental argument with himself, then how do you avoid all the 'I's that will result. I counted seventeen I's on one page. I counted seven in this post!

    Reply
  44. Ethan says

    March 18, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Dan Brown does this and, although I didn't notice it when I read it, it became very annoying when I listend to it on tape.

    Reply
  45. Seasonal Deluge says

    April 9, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    While repetition can be distracting. Distracting like a loud conversation on a commuter bus. A loud conversation with a lot of mixed metaphors.

    https://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_pages/analogies.html

    Reply
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