This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day;
Not only do I follow your blog, but I also recommend it to all of the writers I meet as a necessary checkpoint before beginning the querying process. It would be an honor for you to consider my work.
Young Macs finds a magical book tucked away in his grandfather’s library entitled The Keeper. When Macs opens the book, it trembles in his hand as watercolor fairies and elves pop up and walk around on top of the pages using the book as a stage. Macs, able to interact with them, is deemed the prophesied “Keeper,” and he spends the majority of the living book’s story trying unsuccessfully to save the village’s inhabitants from danger. In the end, he watches helplessly as the characters settle in for an eternal sleep. When Macs attempts to “re-read” the book, it opens only to the closing scene, and Macs soon discovers what the title The Keeper really means.
The End is a 15,000 word mid-grade novel about a boy who, unlike Peter Pan, wants to grow up, yet he finds himself caught up in a magical world having to decide between being the hero of his own proverbial Neverland or ignoring the story in order to maintain his “cool” status.
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Literary Writing, and I have spent seven years both in America and abroad teaching middle and high school English. I have also published articles in a regional magazine, and I am a freelance editor for two publishing houses. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc.
A complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for taking time to consider my project. I look forward to hearing from you.
Author
STATS: 6.6% request rate
Kaiscomet says
Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am passing on your project at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely
Rubenesque Writer says
Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I don’t think I am the right agent to represent this manuscript. Best of luck.
Sincerely,
RW Lit
Cristy at Living Donor 101 says
Thanks for your submission, but it does meet our needs at this time.
(side note: YA of this type doesn’t ring my bell at all. Another more appropriate agent might find great value in this story)
Nik says
Thank you for your query, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass.
Reasoning: While I like the idea of the boy being able to be the only one to see the book come to life, and was relieved that he didn’t go into the book or the become real in his world, I was left unsure of what it really means to be the keeper and what the purpose of the boy finding the book. What is the lesson that he (and your readers) need to learn?
jnantz says
Dear Author:
I appreciate the opportunity to consider your work. After a lot of thought, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass. I just don’t feel I can represent this project with the kind of enthusiasm it would require. However, this business is very subjective, and I encourage you to query widely. Many agents may feel differently than I do.
Thank you again,
Jnantz
[reason: I really like this premise, but 15,000 words is awfully short, even for mid-grade. Not even sure that’s a novella. Man, I liked the story idea, too. i hope you find a home for this, ’cause it seems like an interesting premise.]
Mira says
Dear Author,
Lots of things I like here: your query shows that you can write very well. That usually means the book is well-written as well. I like your opening paragraph – you handled this nicely. I like your story – reminds me a bit of Inkheart, and some other books I’ve read. I also think a YA fantasy book with a male hero would be a very marketable book.
The reason I’m not requesting a partial is the way you represent the ending as sad. I’m not sure a publisher would go for a sad ending to a YA novel. Am I reading that correctly? Is it sad? And if it’s sad, is it ultimately happy because the character development makes it worth it? If so, I might make that more clear in the plot summary.
Aside from that, I think this has great potential! I know I’d read it! 🙂 I definitely hope I see it published someday.
Best of luck to you
Mira
Jenn says
Form rejection letter.
I just wasn’t excited about the story – it sounds like something I’ve heard about before, like Jumanji and The Neverending Story…
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. I encourage you to query other agents and wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
Agent C
(Didn’t quite get this one. Maybe more clarification and tell me what is truly unique)
Sharon aka Sapphire says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I do not feel it is right for me. Remember that my opinion is just one. I urge you to continue to seek out representation with your manuscript.
Best wishes,
Sharon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
While I do not represent MG stories, I will pass this on to an in house agent who does…
(Can I do that? Please?)
NotJana says
Dear Author
Thank you for querying me. Although there are some potentially interesting elements presents, I am afraid this is not the right project for me at this time.
All the best,
Agent For A Day (Or Two)
Bekkoni says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submisson, but unfortunately 15,000 words is much too short for a middle-grade novel.
Best wishes,
Bekkoni
Flemmily says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I feel that THE END is not a fit for our agency.
Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Flemmily
Diana says
Dear Query #42:
Thank you for your query, and for being part of our blog community! Unfortunately, I am not accepting science fiction/fantasy novels at this time.
Best wishes,
Diana
Perle_Rare says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission but this isn’t right for me at this time.
Best wishes,
Perle_Rare
Reason:
– I don’t get a clear sense of the story.
H. Zilionis says
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for sending me your query and offering me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for your project.
Good luck and keep writing!
Holly Z – Agent for a Day
TecZ aka Dalton C Teczon - Writer says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query and for allowing me to consider your work.
While your novel, “The End,” sounds exciting, I feel I’m not the right fit for your project. Therefore, I must decline on this project right now. But I do want to encourage you to continue submitting. Just because a project isn’t quite right for me, doesn’t mean the right agent isn’t just around the corner.
I wish you the best of luck with all your writing endeavors and in the querying and submission process. Persistence pays off, so don’t give up!
Best regards,
Dalton C. Teczon – Agent
Maria A says
Thank you for thinking of our agency, but not for us at this moment.
Best of luck,
Agent
Davien says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.
All the best,
Dana says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing your novel.
Regards,
Dana
Reasons: OH! This held so much promise until I got to the end of the first paragraph, and then you lost me. And the second paragraph totally threw me. Plus, 15K is WAY too short, even for middle grade.
Nora Coon says
Not right for us at this time. Best of luck.
***
The second paragraph was solid, if a bit dull (though the character’s name really threw me). However, the novel seemed quite short, and your third paragraph really turned me off. You’re overtaxing the Peter Pan comparison. Tell me more about the central conflict of the story.
Lorin says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this isn’t a good fit for me at this time.
Thank you,
Lorin
Brian Crawford says
Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about your book. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.
Janine says
Thank you for your query, but I am not the right agent for this. Best of luck.
RainSplats says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m interested in seeing more. Please send me the first 5 pages.
thanks,
Rain
(It does seem short, but it sings. I want to sample the writing.)
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Alisa says
No, thank you.
Alisa.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for THE END for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Cat Moleski says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. However, your project is not right for me at this time.
Cat
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this just didn’t grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(15,000 words is just too short and the premise has been used too often)
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate you sending in your work, but I don’t think its right for me.
Best of luck,
Keith Champaign
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I didn’t like it. Try again later.
Backdoor Trojan
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate your time and efforts, but I am sorry to say that I do not wish to represent your story. If you have another story idea, please send it to me in the future, and I would be happy to look at it.
Best Wishes,
Quintus Blackburn
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
This shows promise! Please send me a fifty-page partial.
AM
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
I appreciate you sending me this, but I’m going to pass.
S. Pancake
Mega says
I thank you for sending me your query but it isn’t right for me at this time.
-MV
Eva Ulian says
Sorry, but when you wrote “it would be an honor for “me” to read “your” work, I did not read any further.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Flattery in first para unneeded. I felt the storyline was a little confusing and I did not respond positively to the themes or the sense that it ends by having everything good go out of the story. I do not require a happy ending per se, but I didn’t feel attached to the story as shown here. Excellent last two query paras.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph