This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day;
Not only do I follow your blog, but I also recommend it to all of the writers I meet as a necessary checkpoint before beginning the querying process. It would be an honor for you to consider my work.
Young Macs finds a magical book tucked away in his grandfather’s library entitled The Keeper. When Macs opens the book, it trembles in his hand as watercolor fairies and elves pop up and walk around on top of the pages using the book as a stage. Macs, able to interact with them, is deemed the prophesied “Keeper,” and he spends the majority of the living book’s story trying unsuccessfully to save the village’s inhabitants from danger. In the end, he watches helplessly as the characters settle in for an eternal sleep. When Macs attempts to “re-read” the book, it opens only to the closing scene, and Macs soon discovers what the title The Keeper really means.
The End is a 15,000 word mid-grade novel about a boy who, unlike Peter Pan, wants to grow up, yet he finds himself caught up in a magical world having to decide between being the hero of his own proverbial Neverland or ignoring the story in order to maintain his “cool” status.
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Literary Writing, and I have spent seven years both in America and abroad teaching middle and high school English. I have also published articles in a regional magazine, and I am a freelance editor for two publishing houses. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc.
A complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for taking time to consider my project. I look forward to hearing from you.
Author
STATS: 6.6% request rate
Larry Writer says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately The End is not the right project for me. The word count is very low. The basic idea behind the story has great merit, but I believe there must be more of a storyline to make this publishable.
Best regards,
Larry
Sara Cox Landolt says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I’m going to pass.
Best to you,
Agent SCL
Lois Lavrisa says
Dear Author,
While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project. You may want to try publications that specialize in short stories, as you have a good idea.
As it stands now, I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.
Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.
Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.
I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.
Sincerely,
Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day
The Writers Canvas says
Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn’t fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.
Elaine
Lucy says
Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.
Maricar says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.
Raven56 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying “Agent for a Day” Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.
Best of luck,
Raven56
cwsherwoodedits says
Thank you for your query. I’m going to have to pass.
KareFree Kennels says
Sorry, not for me.
Best of luck,
Sheryl
Annalee says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I’m afraid it isn’t right for me.
Regards,
-Annalee
———–
Reason: This query is vague in the wrong places. I can’t figure out the central conflict (the bit about popularity seems kind of jammed in, and don’t understand the MC’s stake in the book-world). I admit to some ignorance on the MG market, but 15k sounds short.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I’m afraid this isn’t quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Agent.
(I found the query rather passive, but also, up to the apparent conclusion, EXACTLY the same story as a YA series from 2-3 years ago. The query didn’t strike me as focused enough to, in fact, be this series, thus the pass.)
Just_Me says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Your novel sounds intriguing but at this time does not suit our list. We wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.
Sincerely,
Agent
Note: Nothing about this jumped out and said “READ ME!” I’m not a huge MG fan, but this still isn’t something I can see me picking up for my kids. It sounds depressing. I’d try to emphasize the positive, not the fact that the hero fails.
Horserider says
Dear Author:
Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.
Sincerely,
Horserider Literary Agency
Audrey E says
Dear Author,
Thank you for query. I’m afraid that this piece isn’t right for me and I will have to pass at this time.
Yours,
Audrey
Tamara says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it’s not for me.
Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)
super agent nicole says
Dear author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.
Thank you,
Nicole
sKim says
Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn’t suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.
Newbee says
Dear Author,
Please send a partial.
Thanks,
Jen
Diana says
Thought this was a great query, though I wasn’t sure what you meant by Macs’ “cool status.” That could possibly be fleshed out a little? And perhaps describe some of the secondary characters within the book? Anyway, I would request a partial.
Taymalin says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Taymalin
TFree says
This one is interesting, but in the end I’m afraid I have to pass. Please feel free to submit any other projects you have completed.
Best,
TF
Krista says
This sounds cute, and I think it is a good query, but it is just not in my area of interest.
Sorry, rejection,
Jeannie says
I’d like to take a look at this. Please send the entire manuscript.
-Jeannie
Note: I believe the author can carry off the fantasy vs. reality balance from the query. This made my “maybe” pile and then I remembered it enough to search it out on my second pass. Figured the fact that the query resonated with me meant something.
00 Pisces says
Dear Author,
I think you show potential, but I can’t offer to represent THE END. Best of luck to you in the future.
00Pisces
Anonymous says
Dear Author —
Very subjective business. The economy in straits as it is, I’ll have to agree with fellow colleague Mr Snark and wonder where the Luck Dragon got to, too
Sorry. No thank you.
Marilyn Peake says
Dear Author of THE END:
Thank you for your query. I regret to to inform you that I’m no longer accepting queries, as I recently requested manuscripts for five books and my schedule is full. Your book came very close to making my final cut. It sounds fascinating, and your query was impressive. I strongly recommend that you continue to query agents, as another agent might be very interested in reading your manuscript and offering you a contract. I wish you all the best in your writing career.
Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent
Inkblot says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I am passing on it. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.
Regards,
Agent Inky
It’s not bad – in fact, I think the premise is pretty shiny – but there’s nothing in the query that makes me sit up and pay attention. Oddly, it feels too short. You say in the final para’s that it’s about having to choose between looking cool, and being the hero, but this isn’t alluded to in the prior description of the plot at all.
This is one I’d be sad to reject because I think it has more potential than the query allows for.
ros says
Sorry, it sounds like every other MG fantasy I’ve ever read. Show me what’s new and original and I’ll be more interested.
Elizabeth says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request any further material.
Best regards,
Agent Elizabeth
Shawntelle says
Dear Author,
Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn’t grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.
Sincerely,
Shawntelle
Janny says
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying about your book, THE END, for possible representation; however, I’m not the right agent for this particular work, and so I will take a pass on it.
However, as publishing is an extremely subjective business, I would encourage you to submit it elsewhere. What doesn’t work for me might be just what another agent is looking for.
Best of luck!
Sincerely,
Janny
bveggie says
form reject
Ulysses says
Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don’t feel I am the agent to represent this work.
Ego says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.
Regards,
Ego
Thermocline says
Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.
(I am intrigued by your story but feel it is too short for a mid-grade novel.)
Aimless Writer says
I liked it. Send three chapters.
Rachel says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting THE END. The premise sounds intriguing and I enjoyed your query letter. However, I couldn’t quite connect with the hook and I am concerned about the book’s length. I am going to have to pass, with regrets. Good luck, though!
Kristin says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query; however, I am sorry to say that I will not be pursuing it any further. It does not fit my list at this time, but there are many agents out there and I would encourage you to continue submitting to those who rep your genre.
Regards,
KM
Professor I.M. Diphthong says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for at this time.
Marybeth says
Dear Author,
I am interested in your work. I feel you have a strong plot, however I am worried there may not be enough flesh to the story with such a small word count. Still I would be interested in viewing the full manuscript before I pass it by. Please send via a MS word document.
Sincerely,
Marybeth
Anonymous says
Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon
Agent Yard Oaf says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. You have some interesting ideas, but I don’t feel that I could adequately represent your book.
Best wishes,
Agent Yard Oaf
splatter says
Form reject.
Reason: 15k is just too short and, honestly, too depressing. I feel like there needs to be some hint of redemption, more idea as to the plot (the premise itself is very interesting, but… I don’t know where it GOES), and just a bit more information all around. I think the story could be fleshed out into something more interesting, but as is, I just wasn’t sold.
lilianamama says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your interest in the “Be An Agent For a Day” contest. While I find your idea intriguing, I’m afraid your query doesn’t convey the complexity of what you’re attempting to accomplish.
If I can make some suggestions: Start with your book’s plot. That’s what you want the agent to remember. Brown nose last and when you do, make sure you show that you’ve done your research and this agent will want to read your book because of this, this and this.
You’ve got some errors in your plot paragraph: If Macs is the character’s name, it’s confusing next to “finds”. Is Macs his last name? If not, use it. I’m assuming the book’s name is The Keeper. Right now, you’ve written that the library is titled The Keeper. Show us what Macs does with the faeries. What does he do that creates more problems, what does he do to attempt to solve the problems? Then let us know what the consequences will be if he cannot fix the situation, include in your summary how your main character changes throughout the book. Only use the story’s major characters.
I wish you all the best.
Tyler says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me in your quest for publication; unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. Best of luck in your future endeavours.
Sincerely,
Agent T
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.
Regards,
Lindsey S.
rainsinger says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However I must decline at this time as this work is far too short to be marketable although the idea is intriguing.
best wishes
Rain agency
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query for “The End.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t match my needs at this time.
Best wishes in your search for representation,
Sincerely,
Owl Sprite
gypsyscarlett says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your story is not right for me.
I wish you much luck finding a suitable agent.
RB Ripley says
Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me with your recent query.
Unfortunately, this project does not resonate with me and I must respectfully decline, though I do hope you’ll continue to consider me for future projects.
Please remember, we are part of a highly subjective industry and I am confident there is an agent out who would best represent your story.
I wish you all the best in your continued efforts. Keep writing!
Sincerely,
Agent For a Day
[rejection reason: Essentially, I didn’t get a clear sense of the major dramatic conflict of the story.]