This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
Angel Star is an edgy model, famous actress and successful pop singer, having achieved all of her childhood dreams at only twenty. What more could a girl want? Well, Angel only seeks a few more things, like her heroin addiction cured, her alcoholism repressed and her bulimia removed. When Angel finds herself miserable and broken at the apex of her career, she heads back to her humble beginnings in Texas to find emotional, mental and spiritual renewal, but she must first face the challenge of being accepted back into the family she left behind, igniting old flames and thwarting the paparazzi.
STAR FRAGMENTS is a 88,000 word young adult novel that chronicles the descent of a media darling shattered by Hollywood’s depravity, who learns that substituting materialism for family and love is what led to her self destruction and who eventually pieces herself back together with this newfound knowledge.
Several of my short stories have been published in my college newspaper and I am a regular reviewer of books and movies for my town’s newspaper.
Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 5% request rate
Jenn S. says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. It’s not right for me, but please keep me in mind for future submissions.
Regards,
Jenn S.
(Reason: I’m beginning to think I’m being too picky; I haven’t requested anything yet and I want to start. If this hadn’t been a YA I might’ve. But the subject matter and the protagonist’s emotional/spiritual journey didn’t seem quite appropriate for a YA. However, I’m not familiar with the YA genre, so I could be wrong. The book might be stronger if simply labeled fiction rather than YA.)
Rebecca Knight says
Dear Star Fragments,
Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. Unfortunately, I feel that I’m not the best fit for your project. This industry is highly subjective, so I’m sure others will feel differently. Best of luck to you in all your endeavors.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Knight
Nora Coon says
Not right for us at this time. Best of luck.
Janine says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but I am not the right agent for this. Best of luck.
Mira says
Dear Author,
This is very commerical and timely. A young starlet’s struggle with fame and addiction is a hot topic. I could absolutely see teenage girls eating this up, and benefitting as they see her transformation.
I am not requesting a partial because I suspect it’s not published yet and I’m trying to win the contest. I also hate to say this, and I could be totally wrong, but I wonder if a book of this nature might sell better if the author had insider knowledge of the industry. A publisher might be more willing to take a chance on an unknown author in that case…..maybe?
If it’s not yet published, there might be ways around that, such as getting recommendations from insiders.
I might also hype up the romance, because teen romance is an equally hot item.
I think this has great potential. If it’s as smoothly written as your query, I think you might have a real winner here.
Best of luck to you!
Mira
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to My Imaginary Yet Successful Literary Agency. I receive many queries each day, and I request only a small percentage of manuscripts that I’m interested in representing. I have decided not to request one for your book because I don’t feel that I’m intrigued enough to be its best representative.
Should you need resources for querying, finding writing resources and groups, or if you’d like to know more about how I choose manuscripts, please visit (this section of my agency’s website) for more information. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your writing. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider your work.
Warm regards,
Hallie
__________________________________
And if I were fortunate enough to be able to give some feedback for each and every author I declined, I’d note the following:
I was a little thrown here for a couple of reasons. First, a 20-year-old is pretty much not going to be accepted as the protagonist in YA lit, and then, I started reading this with that viewpoint. It seems like whether this is YA lit or adult commercial fiction, the main character has a laundry list of things to overcome, and I’m not sure that this is more powerful that just a couple. I think that, say, alcoholism *and* needing to resume her place in her family are issues big enough for a book all on their own. Right now, it sounds like what we’d all wish for Lindsay Lohan, and I am unsure that could all get cleaned up in the word count you have here!
That said, if not for the inconsistencies, I do think that a book about a starlet gone wrong and searching for redemption is probably salable, and I think readers would root for a young woman finding herself like you describe in paragraph 2 of your query.
Good luck!
Alisa says
No, thank you.
Alisa.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for STAR FRAGMENTS for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
I am in the market for a fresh treatment of this theme with a character that transcends the sterotypes. Angel Star, beginning with her too cute name, does not do that for me. I cannot not represent Star Fragments.
Certainly the concept has potential for comercial success. I like the title which promises more than your query delivers. In your search for an agent, you must present your work in its most original and compeling light.
To connect with your readers, your character must be a hero in her own story, addictions and all. What made her successful? What made her an addict? What made her crash? Who is she? She cannot be a flat reflection of Brittany Spears, Hannah Montana or the next bombshell down the pike. Anything short of a fully drawn portrait of this woman that will be painfully transparent.
Keep working on this project and your presentation of it. I predict success.
Sincerely,
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
I greatly enjoyed reading your query, and I would be very interested in reading more.
S. Pancake
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Your book is interesting and I feel it has some potential, but it’s not for me, thanks for the attempt though.
Sincerely,
Mitsubishi
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Though your query structure is great and your storyline seems well-plotted, I could not form an attachment to this character. This may be subjective.
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I appreciate the query but your book is not what I am looking for at the moment. However, I wish you luck in getting this book published.
Best regards,
Nathaniel Orange
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Not my cup of tea.
Agent Edgar Leroy 3rd
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Katalina Marie says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry but I don’t think that this book is the one for me.
Regards,
Katalina Marie
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Katalina Marie says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry but I don’t think that this book is the one for me.
Regards,
Katalina Marie
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Note: It seems a bit heavy for a YA novel. I think there is definite potential in the story. Good luck!)
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Please forward the manuscript for STAR FRAGMENTS at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Agent for the Day
Excellent query letter!
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Since Katie Price’s Angel is selling so well in Britain that she even got her own Pony club series I’ll give your Angel a chance too. Please send the complete manuscript.
Agent S.K.
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Star Fragments.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
P.S. It was a close call though.
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
Mira says
Just a comment.
I wrote in my response that a book like this might sell better if someone had insider knowledge of the industry.
I’ve been thinking about that ever since.
I think I might be wrong on that. A good enough book could sell on it’s own.
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Aarghhh. This is so frustrating. I like what I read, but the query didn’t really tell me what happens. I get the set up, but where is it going? There are lots of possibilities, but I’m too busy to request pages just to find out. Form rejection.
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
*Note: I’d like this premise better if the protagonist was not a celebrity. Maybe popular and successful, but the uber-fame makes her less relatable to the average teen. Since I am a recovering alcoholic, I feel much of this stuff is important to be told, but better from a more realistic character.
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Unfortunately, this is not a project I feel I can sucessfully represent. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project is built on an interesting premise, the story does not feel unique or compelling at this time; however, after a revision of your query letter and/or partial manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
P.S. Three major disorders for the protagonist is a bit too much to be credible. For me, two would be plausible. The concept is timely, but the synopsis leaves out what seems most important. What happens specifically when she goes home?
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Star Fragments – for my consideration. May I say that I enjoyed reading your query. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this particular book – a fact that has more to do with pressures on the time and resources at my disposal rather than on the book itself. Best wishes for your future endeavours, both with this book and with future projects. Agent Rik.
EJN says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this type of story has been done many times before, and your query didn’t show me what you would do differently with it. Please remember that there are many other agents out there that are bound to feel differently.
Best of luck,
Agent EJN
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart