If you spend any time out there on the internet you will hear many stories of authors who break literally every single “rule” about querying and literary agent etiquette and still find their way to publication.
Needless to say, for people who spend months combing the interwebs for information about how to write the most perfect, proper, and impeccable query letter known to publishing and then spend weeks drafting a squeaky clean email, such news about successful rulebreaking makes heads explode aplenty.
If there are so many stories about writers who successfully cast the rules out the window, why should anyone listen to the “rules?” Why do agents spend so much time harping on their submission policies and how to write a good query letter?
Allow me to try and explain why all this is so (and it be so).
UPDATED 5/29/19
Why rejections happen
When someone’s query is rejected they want to know why, and when people want to know why something happens, they tend to look for one reason to explain why.
Such as: Oh, I spelled his name wrong. That’s why my query was rejected. Or: it was that joke about monkeys, wasn’t it?
But there is no such thing as an automatic rejection. Agents are looking carefully and weighing a host of complex factors, and yes, you can spell their name wrong, write an entire query out of rhetorical questions, and/or insult their dog, and they still might request a partial.
Does this mean you should cast all rules out the window? NO!
The query points system
Once you’ve set aside the idea that there’s only one reason for a rejection, the query points system begins to make sense.
Now, just FYI, no agent I know is sitting at their computer with a pen and scoresheet, but here’s what’s happening in the back of their mind as they’re reading a query. (And I should know, I was an agent for eight years).
Let’s say you have to get to 10 points in order to for an agent to request a manuscript. Here are the categories, which an agent is scoring 0-10:
- Professionalism – The appearance of query, spelling the agent’s name correctly, personalizing, the absence of strange pictures and formatting.
- Book idea – The presentation of the hook, the marketability of the project, writing style/quality, the resonance with the individual agent.
- Qualifications – Writing credits, celebrity status.
So let’s just say someone writes a query letter entirely out of rhetorical questions in purple typeface (0 points for professionalism), the book is one day in the life of a literary agent told in second-person stream of consciousness (0 points for book idea), but the qualifications section of the query is “I am Michael Chabon.” 10 points!!
If I’m an agent I’m requesting the manuscript!!
Or, let’s say the person has no writing credits, wrote an unprofessional letter, but the book idea is incredibly awesome and even involves a jelliquarium. 10 points! Manuscript requested!
Earn points however you can
For the average querier out there, you just want to earn points however you can.
Sure, you can break the rules if you want, and if your idea and writing scores a perfect 10 you may find your way to success.
But your odds are so much better if you earn as many points on the “professionalism” scale as you possibly can. When I was an agent I requested a large number of partials where the idea did not immediately strike me (let’s say 3 or 4 points), but the query letter was so impeccable (8 or 9 points!) I wanted to check it out.
I still say your chances are better if you try and stick to the rules, but an agent is also not going to miss out on a perfect 10 book idea just because someone misspelled their name or committed a minor faux pas.
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Art: His move by Albrecht De Vriendt
Interesting that your example of the most boring possible plot is “a day in the life of an literary agent”, Nathan. And yet here we all are, reading a blog about a day in the life of a literary agent instead of all those vampire/thriller/romances we’re supposed to be scarfing up…
It’s ridiculous that anyone who writes as poorly as you do, with such awkward sentence structure–seriously, it’s almost as if you speak a second language–should have anything whatsoever to do with the written word.
Nathan may well speak a second language. I speak three; it doesn’t actually affect your ability to speak your native language.
But I suspect the issue is simply what you wrote isn’t what you meant. I’m sure if you keep an open mind, your writing will improve.
I read your FAQs, and I have a question:
I’ve written a book that I feel is needed, it fills a niche, but I have absolutely no credentials nor any platform.
How do I get around this, or through this, as I query agents?
Thank you!
anon-
Well, you either write a proposal so amazing it doesn’t matter that you don’t have a platform, or, if your lack of credentials is a true impediment, the book may just not work.
Nathan – in my agent research over the past couple of months I came across your blog. I was sad to see you're no longer agenting as of recently, but wish you the best with your writing!!
I've never commented on your entertaining and informative blog before, but your "jelliquarium" has prompted me to do so now because:
1. I was always jealous and fascinated by the scene in Mickey and the Beanstalk when Goofy jiggles around on the Giant's jello.
2. When I was a bit older and saw a Pink Panther movie, I thought it was awesome and hilarious that Clouseau sent the chief an enormous amount of jello for his birthday. Where could he have put all the jello? The chief wonders, mounting a diving board as he splats onto his swimming pool full of it…
I still remember those scenes with fondness and yes, a twinge of desire š