You know those “mad lib” games you’d play as a kid, where you start off by writing down a list of verbs, places and adjectives, and inevitably the words “snot” and “farted” were involved, which made any story HILARIOUS?
Well, we’re going to play query letter mad lib today, which will give you a query letter template.
Here’s how the query mad lib works. First I’m going to need these things:
- Agent name
- Genre
- Personalized tidbit about agent
- Title
- Word count
- Protagonist name
- Description of protagonist
- Setting
- Complicating or inciting incident (basically the big thing that happens in the beginning that sets your character on your way)
- Villain*
- Verb that describes what your protagonist does to your villain
- Protagonist’s quest
- Protagonist’s goal
- The stakes
- Author’s credits (optional)**
- Your name
Now, plug all of these into my handy-dandy template and look how your query turns out:
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [genre], and because you [personalized tidbit about agent].
[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist’s quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist’s goal] or else [what’s at stake].
[title] is a [word count] work of [genre]. I am the author of [author’s credits (optional)], and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
[your name]
That’s mostly all you need.
Now, granted, this is the most formulaic query ever written (you know… because it uses a formula). It’s just going to give you a starting place to then add personality by adding some flavor and detail and voice. It’s good to flesh out the plot description into a full two or three paragraph summary.
But if you can’t fill this mad lib out in two seconds and craft a pretty decent query letter, something might be wrong with your novel.
These are the ingredients that absolutely positively completely totally must be in your query. Iif they are not, something is wrong. By all means use your creativity, add some more description, embellish, and be an author (well, within reason).
But it really doesn’t need to be that much more complicated than this.
Need help with your query?
Reach out for personalized help!
Take my online classes!
And for more advice on writing your query letter, check out these posts:
- How to write a query letter
- How to format a query letter
- How to research a literary agent
- The one sentence, one paragraph, and two paragraph pitch
* I should note that “villain” does not necessarily have to mean an actual person, alien, monkey, spore, or etc. It could be a personality trait, nature, society… basically whatever is standing in between the protagonist and his/her/its goal.
** If you mention a previously published book in the query letter the agent will need 1) the publisher and 2) the year. Otherwise they’ll just assume it was published by a small press sometime in the 1850s, and you don’t want them to assume that.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes (NEW!), my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
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UPDATED: 5/27/21
Art: Euclid, detail from The School of Athens by Raphael
This site is amazing. Before I found this site I felt insecure about what the buisness really was. My only question is how can I write to Mr. Bransford, because some of the questions I have on my mind are not featured in the web site?
Nathan, great stuff here. I want to break into narrative nonfiction after some work with magazine articles and journalism. Any big picture comments on how a narrative nonfiction query letter would differ from that of a novel query letter?
I'm nearing completion of my first novel and I would like to query you before anyone else due to how helpful this blog has been.
However, you request that I also attach the first five pages of my novel. Due to the way my novel is written, those first five pages are hardly the most representative. How should I make note of that in my query?
Thank you for this. I'm a confident writer, but I'm terrified of the query letter. I've allowed my manuscripts to pile up in my drawer unsent.
Thanks to this clear and simple guidance, I'm ready to jump.
Now, which to send first…?
OMG those were hilarious. I love MAD LIBS. I just found this post. I'm almost done with my synopses (bleah) and getting ready to query (a scary process) and the laughs are much appreciated!
Thanks, Nathan, for the great advice.
So I'm coming in late on this blog post, but I must ask…what if you have a 100,000-word (or so) epic with multiple characters?
Who then is the protagonist? Would you pick the one most focused on? Would you name each of the main characters?
I have been struggling with this, and could sure use an insider's advice.
As Moliere once said to DeMaupassant at a cafe in Paris : " That's funny , you should write it down."
mr bransford…i want to write a children's book…but u mentioned only "novels" and "nonfiction." and so that was what i was wondering…if u accept children's books. oh, and, is this how it's supposed to go?
Mr. Nathan Bransford,
I decided to put my trust in you because of your amazing skill in writing. If you can write well, I assumed you can help me publish my book.
Eliza the Toad is about a young lady named Eliza. Her crazy Uncle Karl eats only onions and raisins, and at night pukes them all back up. Soon, the radioactive fumes from the puke turn her into a toad. She is at first despising the other poor humans who turned into toads who eat insects, but when an armadillo nearly eats her, she allows an insect-eating group to take her in. From them she learns about their kindness and humility and changes, too. When it is found out that Eliza is "missing," her family, who has suspected Uncle Karl for years, forces him into a straitjacket and insane asylum. They then spray the air with air freshener and every human who's a toad gets turned back into a human.
Eliza the Toad is a 5,000-word children's book. This is my first book.
Thank you for your time and I am relishing the chance of hearing from you soon.
Jean
and, um, i'm 10.
jean y.
Hi Nathan,
Just stumbled upon your blog, its great. I live in Asia. I'm curious…do you get a lot of material from overseas writers?
Thanks,Ash
Hello,
Are query letters supposed to be a specific length? Mine is one and a half pages long but I am noticing the common format being one page. Some enlightenment would be appreciated!
Thank you
For those upset that Nathan has stated how to write a query letter, isn't it at least nice to know how ONE agent likes to receive them?
Nathan, I'll be sending an email your way soon.
I have 54.62 novels under my bed, but don't worry, I won't send them to you as they are a bed frame for now.
Thanks for all the good suggestions on your site. Fixing to personalize and employ them, today in fact… Then I'll pound away at the old laptop on the next work in an attempt to ward off the stress of waiting… I guess it's a little like bungie jumping. That first step is gut wrenching and then you experience temporary free fall… (Praying you don't crash and burn)
PS: Congrats on Jacob Wonderbar! What an extraordinary concept!
D Americanhorse
Dear Natedo,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in those printy things, um, can't remember what their called, booksies maybe? but because of the booksies, and because you also have this habit of, like, getting said booksies where people can read them and stuff, like you know, when I can find the thing in K-Mart? Like next to Steffey Mayor?
Well anywhos, this person who writes stories (Meeeeee!) is a really awesome person who has zillions of those booksie things in the works and I'm living in my parents house until, you know, I move out. But when she looses her job, this very creative person must get one of her story things into K-Mart and forget the day job in order to make more money by writing those printy things! Like Steffey!
So my word readable thing is a fifty page work of awesomeness; it really is, my grandma loved it and gave it to her best friend, and she loved it too. I am the author of the essay "Economics–Why loosing your job is hard" that also got an A from my high-school substitute teacher, and this is my first, um–OHMYGoshness, I remembered, yes, what's it's called–novel, this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
You already know who I am, right Natedo?? <3 *hugs*
Yup. This was a fun exercise!
Dear Mister Nathan,
I’m like, writing you this letter ‘cause I heard you really really liked fast food and being a big superstar agent who never has any time and all I figured you’d be hungry for something hot off the grill, you know, so—
Anyway, there was this one time I ordered a quarter pounder with cheese but they gave me a quarter pounder without cheese but I ate it anyway cause I was really hungry you know and I didn't have time to order my quarter pounder with cheese again so I just ate it and you know it was kind of good until I realized I ate half of the paper with it but you know I really didn't care cause I was kind of mad they gave me my quarter pounder with cheese without any cheese so I just ate it.
Then there was this other time you know I drove through to order a large mocha-choke shake and giant chili-cheese fries with jalapeno peppers but there was a lot of static in the line and they couldn't hear me right so I kept calling and calling and calling and calling and calling them but they couldn't hear me or I don't know maybe they didn't want to hear me but I kept on calling and calling and calling them but I couldn't get through so—I just drove off.
I’M LOVIN’ IT is a real whopper of a novel weighing in at 250,000 greasy pages (recyclable paper). I am the author of “Eat Kids Free, a Gastronomic Journey” (seen on PBS). This is my first—brrpp—novel.
Good eating,
Big Cheese McStuffin
raydad-
Ha. Now I'm craving a cheeseburger.
Dear Mr. Nathan Bransford,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful and genuine personality.
What if your Shadow, wasn’t just a Shadow?
What if it was, alive?
Olivia Stone becomes aware that her Shadow is alive. With her haunting from this macabre force, she battles against its all, consuming evil that threatens to implement her demise. She prays for freedom, but prepares for the worst.
In a world filled with Shadows, how do you separate the false figures, from the thriving ones?
You may never know the answer, but in the meantime…
NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES!
SHADOW FROM WITHIN is a 90,750 word work of horror/suspense.
Thank you for your time and attention, and I look forward to an auspicious future together.
Kindest regards,
MJ Smith
Dear Mr. Nathan Bransford,
What if your Shadow, wasn’t just a Shadow?
What if it was, alive?
A young woman becomes aware that her Shadow is alive, with her haunting from this macabre force, she and her sister battle against its all, consuming evil that threatens to implement their demise. They pray for freedom, but prepare for the worst.
In a world filled with Shadows, how do you separate the false figures, from the thriving ones?
You may never know the answer, but in the meantime…
NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES!
SHADOW FROM WITHIN is a 90,750 word, high-concept horror/suspense with a strong character based plot line, an extraordinary array of multi-dimensional supporting characters, and a series of disturbing surprises that culminate into a mind-blowing shocker of an ending. It is also a story of love, courage, redemption, and the fine line that separates good from evil.
I am a business graduate, and have had the distinctive honor of winning several writing awards. I continue to read and watch the masters of horror, and I believe SHADOW FROM WITHIN, is the original type of horror/suspense that fans of this genre, and all types, desire most. This novel will keep you gasping for the sequel, WHEN PAGE TURNED.
If you are interested in reading the synopsis, you can reach me at:
mjsmith3004@gmail.com
Thank you for your time and attention, and I look forward to an auspicious future.
Kindest regards,
MJ Smith
Okay, Nathan … "I'm writing to you because …"? Really? Seems a little like pandering, to me. First of all, you know what your outstanding qualities and abilities and experience are. You don't really need some hopeful author sucking up to you like that, do you? Or is this just to prove the author is capable of a bit of ground level research into his or her topic? What's wrong with a QL just skipping past the suck-up section and getting right into the heart of the matter (a la Janet Reid's recommendations) as in:
"Dear Mr. Fartface,
Boogerman is the laughing stock of Snotville …"
… or do you really want submissions to include the suck-up factor?
I just wanted to say what a breath of fresh air your sight was! After weeding through tons of "blurbs" and very unhelpful mumbo jumbo, I love how you cut right to the point! It's like you are actually human! 😉 I was starting to wonder about you agents….
Thanks again and keep up the good work!
april
I really appreciate your blog and the information posted. I have looked up enough examples on query letters to make your eyes bleed. And written, and re-written my query so many times that I have carpal tunnel. Like most before me, I thought entering the world of writing was going to be easy. I received some good advice from Danielle Trussoni, the author of "Angelology" She said don’t give up; the right agent is out there. My story also relates to angels – The Archangel Lucifer. Query or no query, I tried my best to write a passionate story as most of you have I'm sure. I just hope the world gets a chance to read them all some day.
Good Luck to all.
Hello Nathan,
I just found this blog about a week ago and it's been very helpful and encouraging to me so far.
I have a question: If someone were to say their novel is 'currently untitled' in their query, would that be a bad thing? Would it be better to come up with a working title?
Thanks,
-Amorena
Mr. Bransford,
I was researching agents for myself and a friend on the AAR website and came across your site.
I am sending a query this evening but wanted to add that you are very helpful in everything that you post. My manuscript is a children's picture book but had read that you are open to new ideas. I have been working on manuscripts, researching how to write query letters…etc. for the past few years and it's amazing how helpful agents, authors, and editors can be; aspiring writers really appreciate it. I met Meg Cabot at the L.A. Times Festival of Books this past year and have kept in touch with her…she is a crack up and has been very helpful also.
Haha…I would never write a query letter like I would a mad lib…I was a little crude with mad libs when I was younger…lol.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Heather
Nathan, Recently, I sent you a query on a book that you took a pass on, Lord of the Pleasant Place. I have been working on a rewrite to the letter and posted it at writersdigest.com to get some feedback. I thought it would be interesting to write the plot blurb in 1st person as that is the narrative POV, but was told that even if the narrative is 1st person POV the query should ALWAYS be in 3rd. I'm curious as to what your opinion is; 1st, 3rd, does it matter?
Nice postings. Thank you.
To Anonymous at 1/10/09, 2:23 PM
You wrote: "If you really believe that your going to see your work (fiction) in print-in today's market-without some major geopoliticonnection your kidding yourself."
May I please correct you? It should be:
"If you really believe that you're going to see your work (fiction) in print-in today's market-without some major geopoliticonnection you're kidding yourself."
"your" denotes possession, and "you're" is you + are
I buy many many books. I actually read agents' blogs to see book suggestions. I like an old fashioned book and have no interest in Kindle.
"Really, who actually purchases books anymore? Maybe they'll read a snippet on Kindle or some other spiffed out piece of gear-but nobody's got an attention span anymore." So said Anon.
Well, Anon, I don't have a Kindle or its ilk. I read real books, I have ROOMS full of books, I buy books, borrow books, go to bed with books AND write books. Four and 5 partials at last count.
But Nathan, lovely, delightful, funny, charming (and quite attractive) I choose not to submit to you because my books are set in Australia and I have found comments such as, "Oh, your English is very good" to be a tad hilarious.
But I will be back, and back, to read this blog – love it.
Nathan,
Your 'Query-lib' post made me feel like I was possibly living in a perfect world filled with rainbows and butterflies. So I pinched myself. And the brilliant colors and happy flappers were still there, along with your simple 'send me' fill in. Thank you so much for making this one of the easiest and funnest submissions I'll ever do!
Nathan, can I use your query letter mad lib in my blog about query letters? I will give you all due credit for the idea and will refer my readers to your blog. I just wanted to ask permission before using it. If you can, email me at jdbrown(dot)author(at)gmail(dot)com
Thank you,
J.D. Brown
People, you'd be a sucker to appeal to the likes of this guy or any other literary agent, brain-dead philistines who wouldn't know a well-written book if it crawled up their fat asses, gave birth to pamphlets and spontaneously combusted. I know what I'm talking about. I've been rejected by dozens of outfits like this for no given or discernible reason. I've given up on agents.
They capriciously make one-sided rules by which only writers have to abide, they send out form rejection letters through their flunkies (i.e. "interns", "assistants" or "submission coordinators") even after you send them well-written, original material, obey the submission guidelines and personally address the agent.
Do yourself a favor, folks: Publish your books on Kindle, Nook, whatever else is out there and write these snotty, self-absorbed parasites out of the equation. Redeem your self respect and stop groveling to the likes of Nathan and his accomplices in the rep business.
Hi Nathan: I guess like the rest of us you have your fair share of “rejections.” I was wondering if you are available for a one-on-one query letter writing session. usually I get good responses, but I’d feel a lot better if we could talk in person. Do you do that/ For a fee? thanks, S. Stolinsky
Feel free to reach out to me at nathan@nathanbransford.com
Thank you for all the very down to earth, straightforward, unpretentious, humorous advice. Just one small point if I may. I think the query letter templates/samples/models would be better without the parentheses. They make them rather difficult to read. Instead they would be better with actual example names etc. Or why not both? Yes, I know, maybe this would be better without the slashes too.
Autora española con cinco libros editados estoy buscando un agente para USA. Mi único libro editado es América hasido un desastre de traducción y de distribución.
Gracias por su artículo.