You know those “mad lib” games you’d play as a kid, where you start off by writing down a list of verbs, places and adjectives, and inevitably the words “snot” and “farted” were involved, which made any story HILARIOUS?
Well, we’re going to play query letter mad lib today, which will give you a query letter template.
Here’s how the query mad lib works. First I’m going to need these things:
- Agent name
- Genre
- Personalized tidbit about agent
- Title
- Word count
- Protagonist name
- Description of protagonist
- Setting
- Complicating or inciting incident (basically the big thing that happens in the beginning that sets your character on your way)
- Villain*
- Verb that describes what your protagonist does to your villain
- Protagonist’s quest
- Protagonist’s goal
- The stakes
- Author’s credits (optional)**
- Your name
Now, plug all of these into my handy-dandy template and look how your query turns out:
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [genre], and because you [personalized tidbit about agent].
[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist’s quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist’s goal] or else [what’s at stake].
[title] is a [word count] work of [genre]. I am the author of [author’s credits (optional)], and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
[your name]
That’s mostly all you need.
Now, granted, this is the most formulaic query ever written (you know… because it uses a formula). It’s just going to give you a starting place to then add personality by adding some flavor and detail and voice. It’s good to flesh out the plot description into a full two or three paragraph summary.
But if you can’t fill this mad lib out in two seconds and craft a pretty decent query letter, something might be wrong with your novel.
These are the ingredients that absolutely positively completely totally must be in your query. Iif they are not, something is wrong. By all means use your creativity, add some more description, embellish, and be an author (well, within reason).
But it really doesn’t need to be that much more complicated than this.
Need help with your query?
Reach out for personalized help!
Take my online classes!
And for more advice on writing your query letter, check out these posts:
- How to write a query letter
- How to format a query letter
- How to research a literary agent
- The one sentence, one paragraph, and two paragraph pitch
* I should note that “villain” does not necessarily have to mean an actual person, alien, monkey, spore, or etc. It could be a personality trait, nature, society… basically whatever is standing in between the protagonist and his/her/its goal.
** If you mention a previously published book in the query letter the agent will need 1) the publisher and 2) the year. Otherwise they’ll just assume it was published by a small press sometime in the 1850s, and you don’t want them to assume that.
Need help with your book? Iām available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
And if you like this post: subscribe to my newsletter!
UPDATED: 5/27/21
Art: Euclid, detail from The School of Athens by Raphael
laurasmagicday says
Thanks so much for clarifying that the villain doesn’t HAVE to be a person. *retrieves mms. from the trash* Before I got to that part of your post I’m like…ah, just shoot me now.
Polly Kahl says
Hi Nathan, can you please tweak this to show what it would look like for a memoir? Would we switch to third person during the descriptive middle paragraph? Thanks, you’re the bomb, as usual!
Jackie says
Nathan your insights are so very helpful, thank you
By the way I can get a 3rd party to work for me because I have a disability??? …ruling out my offspring, I will die being unpublished š
J.P. Martin says
Dear Nathan,
I chose to submit to you because of your amusement of the THE HILLS, and because you are able to laugh at those silly monkeys, Spencer and Justin Bobby. Homeboy phone! *Burp.*
Whitney Port is a beautiful and strikingly normal Teen Vogue fashionist living in the Hollywood Hills. But when Hills-grade drama shatters the social quietude, Whitney must resist the seductive magnetism of The Drama and endeavor after the crisis-void rice farms of Northern California to seek the fabled rice field that is said to contain the stabilization force known only as Equanimity.
FROM SORBE HILLS TO VANILLA PLAINS is 500 word work of reality-fantasy. I am the author of FROM AUSTERE PLAINS TO HISTRIONIC HILLS (the sequel) and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to more bewildered THE HILLS commentary from you soon.
Sweet, my answer is get out of my car,
J.P. Martin
A Paperback Writer says
Nathan,
I’ve tried a similar trick to get 7th-graders to write essays: just fill in the blanks with the details, kids; all the topic sentences and concluding sentences are done for you.
It’s amazing how many ways there are to screw this up. I predict you will get at least 10 ridiculous but true-to-form query letters because of this post.
J.P. Martin says
Mistakes! I didn’t realize that there wasn’t an edit button! I’m new.
J.P. Martin says
a paperback writer-
Do I sense irritation in your tone? Or am I mistaken?
Nathan-
Forgive me if I have not followed proper etiquette. I love the blog. No disrespect intended.
sex scenes at starbucks says
I’ve talked about the “formula” on Crapometer forever (and use it when I do rewrites in critiques. It looks an awful lot like yours.
Thanks for all the giggles, all!
Luc Reid says
Nathan, thanks very much for the clarification; I can see what you mean, and it’s a helpful insight for me.
Jill, I think of Wickham as an obstacle and a trickster and a distraction, but I wouldn’t call him a villain in the sense of an antagonist, because I don’t feel he’s consistently trying to undermine Elizabeth. However, I can understand how a person could reasonably apply the word “villain” to him in certain senses.
Adaora A. says
Thanks for answering my question Nathan.
Thanks Josephine!
Luckily my MS has a clear villian- the monkey’s from Monkeyville.
Which agent could resist it? Surely I’ll get a partial request? LOL!
E.W. says
Gimmeachancedammit… Blue Jean Dream…
RFLMAO.
Anonymous says
Hey Nathan, I have a question! š This nugget about our novels:
“[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist’s quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist’s goal].”
To me it seems this fits only certain genres or story types. What about novels that don’t include this formula (villain, goal, threat/quest)? Examples that I can quickly come up with might be Anne of Green Gables and Bridget Jones.
My current novel fits well in the formula, but sometimes I’ve been discouraged by that this same formula is offered widely; I for one would love to read more of those sweet, villain-less books like Anne of Green Gables. What is your take on this -would something like that pass nowadays?
Thanks! š
Adaora A. says
Guys you’re stressing a bit too much I think. The Mad Lib is a guideline, a blue print. I think if you did it like that, it would be sastisfactory. It’s like a skeleton. You’ve got to put your personality into it to make an impression (that’s what I think anyways). Don’t you want a second date request?
Nathan Bransford says
Thanks Adaora. Yeah, don’t overthink the mad lib. It’s just about the most basic format you can possibly have. It’s not going to apply to every situation.
Although I will say that every novel has a quest and an antagonist. It can be an inner quest or an outer quest, but things happen in a novel, and the protagonist always always always starts in one place and ends up in another (either metaphorically or literally).
Anonymous says
Thanks Nathan, the idea about either an inner or outer conflict and ending up in another “place” makes perfect sense! I’ve been wondering about this for the longest time because this villain/conflict/quest formula has been given to me as “the” formula many times, yet some of my favourite books don’t follow it. But your clarification made a lot of sense!
Have a good day! š
mlh says
Can’t. Resist. Temptation. To. Play. Mad. Lib. Game.
Yo, Nate-Dogg!
Word Up! Homegirl here is sliding toward my cuzz because of your bodilicious skizzle in Aerodynamic Weaponery, and because you so totally lit that fart through Granny’s digs – laugh riot.
Hamdinger is like a messed-up player living in Bling City. But when his tricked-out ride is scratched from a miss aimed fart, Hamdinger must shake himself down to the Hood and punk slap Mr. Yomamasougly in order to get his ride fixed.
Whomp! There it is!, is a 4-word phat work of urban miscommunication.
Mad props for your ticks of the watch, and you know homegirl is gonna come a-knocking at your pad with about fifty of her homies if she don’t hear from you.
Her rump shaking and divalicious,
Mishmash
Ah, now that felt good!
Anonymous says
Hi Nathan, I just started reading this and like everyone else has said a million times, its really helpful and makes this process much less intimidating.
I have a question thats a little unrelated to the post but I don’t know where else to put it so here goes:
When agents ask for partial manuscripts, what exactly are they looking for? I ask this because as I read and edit my manuscript, I find that the most exciting and engrossing parts are at the end and sporatically throughout the middle, not at the beginning. Are you just looking for style and writing skills, or are you hoping to get some kind of hook that makes you go “wow i want to see the whole thing or else I won’t be able to sleep at night.”?
Thanks
Wanda B. Ontheshelves says
Re: “Are you just looking for style and writing skills, or are you hoping to get some kind of hook that makes you go “wow i want to see the whole thing or else I won’t be able to sleep at night.”?”
Can’t…style and writing skills make an agent want to see the whole thing in and of themselves? From page 1? It’s like sometimes you’ll hear a piece of music, a snippet, and right away something in your ear recognizes “this is great” and you listen to the whole thing and it IS great.
I think (in my non-agent opinion) books can sometimes be like that too..I don’t mean just “lush” or “beautiful” writing, but there’s a tension in the writing also that pulls you along…whether or not it’s an explicit hook…there’s a tension, struggle, searching quality to the writing…I saw Marvin Gaye playing piano on TV once…just noodling around, …sketching, doodling on the piano…so good…that piano rolled over and played dead under his hands. Supple playing.
Just my “two notes” worth.
Margaret Yang says
mlh, you win. You totally win. And you owe me a new keyboard since mine is spewed with coffee.
I think Nathan’s basic blueprint works beautifully, but I also feel free to change the order of ingredients if it flows better that way. Like the man says, don’t over-think this.
Ulysses says
mlh:
Words fail me.
jay:
You had me at “snot.”
faithful lurker says
Dear Mr. Dreamagent,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in readers, and because you let them post away like drunken monkeys.
Sunmunkie is a quirky, ambitious author living in deepest, darkest mid-America. But when she stumbles upon the fatally addictive blog of Agent Ford Bransnathan, sunmunkie must master the blogās sacred knowledge and escape the lair of the evil non-Middle Grade Agent Ford in order to get some actual writing done and win representation by his colleague, the talented and discerning Clark Ginger.
THE BLOG is a 62-word work of magical realism/comedy/subgenius. I am the author of my own undoing, and this is my first novel this week.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Sue D’Onym
Parker Haynes says
Nathan,
After reading through the April Fool’s Day frivolous comments, I feel rather foolish jumping in with a serious question.
But here goes anyway:
We always speak of the protagonist as singular. Are co/protagonists acceptable, such as if you have a couple meeting a challenge (such as survival) together?
Or is this a stupid question?
Thanks for the great blog so packed with entertaining education!
Parker
Polenth says
Hmm, much like a game of consequences, mine doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. That’s what I get for writing down the first thing that came into my head.
–
Dear Nate Dogg,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in romantic science-fiction thriller memoirs, and because you like orange (and true stories about sentient amoebae).
Amoeba is a young amoeba, fresh from binary fission, living in a world consisting of strings of nanobots. But when the nanobot stings start to break, Amoeba must track down the evil protozoan responsible, Tetrehymena, and snuggle Tetrehymena in order to have a safe place to undergo his own binary fission.
‘The Pseudopodium String’ is a 70,000 work of romantic science-fiction thriller memoir. I am the author of many novels and memoirs, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Polenth
mlh says
Ulysses: I wish my words had failed me before typing that. Then I wouldn’t have to break out my checkbook to pay for Margaret Yang’s new keyboard.
Marti says
Dear Mr. Nathan,
I am to be choosing you because you make such a good hot dog! I am many time read your internet on break from my job here in Calcutta at call center.
I writed very good book about peoples who in airplane crashing on magic tropical island. Many peoples do not live through crashing, but small group that live must fight many hardship. They struggle with rain. They forget how to be asking questions. They struggle with how to open giant crate of food they find. They struggle with other peoples who already on island. I call this other group Other Group.
I writed this original story in hopes of coming to America to live with my cousin, Apu in Springfield. I have writed many TPS reports for my employer, Inotech.
My book have 4815162342 words. I much be thanking of you for your time.
Sincerely,
Raji Nahasapeemapetilon
Anonymous says
Thank you Wanda, that pretty much answers my question. Its funny that you made a music analogy because my next question is music related:
Music heavily influences my writing, and I have specific songs, with a piece of their lyrics right in the book, either at the beginning or end of chapters. I always name what song it is and who its by, but my question is: Is it legal to put actual song lyrics in a book? Will I have to take these out eventually? I know Hunter S. Thompson did it sparingly, but then again I don’t write for Rolling Stone š
bookbabie says
Dear [Eric Simonoff],
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [spotting new and emerging literary voices], and because you [can sell any book you get your hands on].
[Bobby Weaver] is a [successful novelist] living in [Michigan]. But when [he has a terrible accident], [Bobby] must [keep working on his current book despite the fact that he is now in a coma because in his words, “The characters are hanging around in my head and theyāre kind of bugging me. You know what I mean? They wonāt shut up. Itās getting on my nerves. I think they want to know whatās going to happen next. I donāt even know whatās going to happen next, so itās not like I can just tell them to get them off my back. Writing doesnāt work like that. Not for me anyway.”] and [as the clock ticks down] [Bobby struggles to remain sentient] in order to [finish his final book, face some harsh realities about the accident, and make peace with his family and friends before he dies].
[The Wonder of Ordinary Magic] is a [52,389 word] work of [literary fiction]. I am the author of [several very insightful published letters to the editor], and this is my second novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
[Lilli Day]
Fun exercise, I think I’ll rewrite my queries a bit:)
Jean says
Okay, this post is exactly why I keep coming back to your blog. I love it! And I may or may not do mad libs with my four-year-old…and may or may not include ‘poop’ in my future queries. š
pixy says
Holy crap, these are just too much fun. I really loved, Scott’s. All those apostrophes are just too perfect. And the title…lol
Maybe I read too much spec fic…
Thanks, Nathan. More great advice!
Julie Weathers says
When I first read this, I wanted to just throw my hands in the air.
After a lot of thinking about it, I have to say thank you.
Paladin has a very convoluted plot, so this really helped distill things down to the essentials.
I’m planning on going to Surrey this fall and Heather Wardell gave me some priceless advice. Reduce your story down to two lines and pitch those two lines. This formula helps get me much closer to those two lines.
JW
Heather Wardell says
Julie, your $20 is in the mail. š
Julie Weathers says
My $20 is in the mail?
Hmmm, I sent you $40 for that good advice. Do I owe you another $20?
Do you take Pay Pal?
JW
Randy Yaskal says
My co-writer, the grammar Nazi, pointed out a peculiar error in all your query exemplars.
The verb “to submit” customarily requires an object,e.g.:I submit my resignation; I submit to your will…….
The phrase, “I choose to submit to you,” absent an object or just any old noun–and choosing to use, as in your example, a pronoun–implies, in common usage, some sexual import.
A better introductory sentence for a query missive would read, I submit my____to you. (Query letter, synopsis, manuscript.)
I chose to submit my manuscript to you because I never heard of any of your authors so I figured you would be amenable to yet another unknown writer’s work.
Liz is a sad, depressed housewife trapped in an unhappy marriage to a closeted cardiologist with murder on his mind,living on the Gold Coast of Long Island’s North Shore, but when the sexually– adventurous trophy wife of a Texas billionaire moves in next door, Liz comes awake for the first time in her life and realizes that she can thwart her husbands evil plan, recapture her lost joie-de-vivre and find true love, in order to save her soul and, in the process redeem two miserable families.
Affairs of Affluence is a 110,000 word, 63-sentence-long murder mystery/domestic drama/chick lit style designer name-dropping/shopping list/roman a clef/Regency bodice-ripper set in contemporary times.
I trust you will find it to your liking since it covers every possible genre. Our full manuscript is already zipped and ready to send.
Sincerely yours,
Liter Aire (An over educated, underpaid, future winner of the Booker Prize.)
Anonymous says
Sorry to bother you. But please read this. I just couldn’t say no.
Dear Mr. 007,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in high end sports cars, expensive cocktails and undersexed super models, and because you have a six pack airbrushed on your abdomen.
Dr. Yes, lives in Las Vegas and is a self described hippie drug store psychologist that is emphatic about improving the world by just saying āyesā to every primal human urge including; drugs, sex and gambling. But when he falls for, Lucid, a freckle faced red headed milk maid librarian at the final table of the Texas Holdāem Championship he experiences a metamorphosis of body, mind and soul. The fun ensues as, Lucid the former librarian takes her winnings and ājust say yesā to heart and begins a random self indulging rampage in the Arizona desert. The love stricken Dr. Yes slowly begins to find himself saying ānoā to Lucidās meteoric interest in sex, drugs and projectile vomiting. Will the pair settle down in Anywhere, USA with a picket fence two dogs and a daughter named, Mediocrity? Or will Lucid only understand the err of her ways when Dr. Yes just says no.
āDr. Yes Just Says No,ā is a 200 word pop-up literary query letter. I am indeed the author and have composed a litany of classical prose written in the grout lines of my favorite menās room at āCantriteistan College for the Writing Impaired.ā
I know you are impressed but my creative streak is now at an end. I only have this simple query letter and a solitary confinement shed comprised of writerās blocks. Please release me from my pitiful state by finding me a ghost writer and a huge sign on bonus.
P.S. I do accept travelerās cheques.
Thatās all you need.
FantasyGurl says
Dear Mr. Bransford,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in the supernatural, and because you have read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. (Which inspired my novel.)
Alexis White is a 22 year old women living in a small town. But when her 23rd birthday rolls around, Alexis must figure out how to deal with a surprise birthday gift and find out how to deal with the gift in order to have a life.
Alexis White: Vampire Extraordinaire is a 6,000 word work of supernatural fun. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Maribeth Casey
Anonymous says
Wow, this is so funny.
Rachel says
Dear Mr. Bransford,
It is with a degree of confidence that I choose to submit my literary efforts to you; a man universally acknowledged to be possessed of good character, impeccable taste, and some small fortune.
Elizabeth Bennet is an intelligent young woman with very fine eyes and an excessively sweet sister named Jane. Unfortunately she has in addition three rather foolish sisters and even sillier mother.
With no fortune to recommend them, and few marketable skills, these five girls must somehow find husbands to support them that are neither too hideously ugly nor so excruciatingly boring as to tempt them into a life of outright prostitution.
Though viewed by many as the ultimate catch, Fitzwilliam Darcy offends Elizabeth when he assumes that she, like her younger sisters, is walking around with a price tag on her arse.
As Darcy struggles to overcome his prejudice against lower-middle-class girls, Elizabeth learns to swallow her pride and recognize a good thing when it comes riding up on a dark stallion.
Pride and Prejudice is a work of literary genius, carved on a tiny piece of ivory. I am the author of much unreadable juvenilia, and this is my first novel.
I thank you, Sir, for your time and wish you the best of health.
Sincerely,
J.Austen
Wendy says
Okay so my email to you wasn’t exactly a Query Letter but when I read this post I thought I did pretty good with the imaginative word grabbing unformatted email.
{laughing}
I definately gave it a personal touch you can’t deny me that. Though I found I left out the word count so if I do indeed send you an offical Query Letter I’ll keep your Query Letter Mad Lib on hand.
Anonymous says
-so this blog is great for folks trying to find a literary agent in a market where people believe that a market exists for the unknown. Really, who actually purchases books anymore? Maybe they’ll read a snippet on Kindle or some other spiffed out piece of gear-but nobody’s got an attention span anymore.
If you really believe that your going to see your work (fiction) in print-in today’s market-without some major geopoliticonnection your kidding yourself. Sure all the query letters and abidingly formatted manuscripts will end up and I mean land in the very full slush pile of the evaporating employees in the publishing industry and bailout money-
So get real here, false hope sucks. I learned when I set out on getting my first book published-my agent is dead-great dude – we made some loot and if it wasn’t for a connection here or there and a half way decent economy none of my stuff would have been published anywhere-but Curtis Brown-BTLA (big time literary agency) trolling the aether for saleable scions?
Come on tell the people-tell us all that you really take on new clients? Please, spare the poor aspirants the misery of hammering out query after query-Tell them to read some info on the industry tell them to take a peek at the NY Observer or other rag about what’s going on in publishing in the USA-They (at a very large NY house) got a 40 yo dude whose rearranging the furniture at the Adam’s family house after its been forclosed on-it-new books- ain’t happenin’- and the POD houses -they’re ready willing and able robots- who are printing anything and everything for a measly thirty nine bucks and selling it on Amazon. Aspirants, go ahead and grovel and richly format your query and maybe send a chapter maybe three and then the manuscript and maybe just maybe your target agent’s assistant to administrative assistant who probably will be looking to pick up an app for unemployment might-and I mean might say: “Sure, I’ll rep you…” all to well knowing that nobody is buying fiction-Of course there are the esoteric blockbusters that get the remarkable rave reviews that you can read a page or two of in place of an Ambien, but; really, is there anything new amusing or remotely fun? I had the dubious pleasure of imbibing with the late HST and in that hazey coloquy discerned that my brand of Zulu whackiness will always sell-problem is people do not have the scoots. So is it worth twenty bucks to have a decent thriller that busts you up along the way? Sure.
Curtis Brown-I’d love to see the list of new clients you folks have taken on and SOLD-seeing as how the lunchtime schmooze budgets have been slashed and a drink at Per Se costs more than most administrative assistants earn in a week… Just trying out this blog-doubt if it will see the light of screen. Cheers.
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
I take on clients and sell books. Sorry you don’t like the business. With all due respect, you sure it’s me who’s in the wrong line of work? You don’t seem to enjoy it much. Maybe you should move on.
Brit says
“my agent is dead-“
I’m not surprised.
Wayne says
Greetings Nathan,
I’ve been advised a number of times to present a marketing plan for my book in the query letter – what books it should sit with in stores, compare it to book of note, film etc. Your advice please.
Kirsten Wallace says
Nathan, once again, thank you for the advice.
Everyone else… these were absolutely wonderful. I haven’t stopped laughing yet.
Anonymous says
Nathan,
Would it be poor taste to suggest that if the agent is not interested in my story, maybe he could pass it on to an agent he thinks might be interested?
Sherpeace
Nathan Bransford says
sherpeace-
Yes.
D.R. Howell says
As always very helpful post!
Anonymous says
If you're writing a query for a children's book you've illustrated, such as "The Giving Tree", do you still need a word count?
Thanks!
Anonymous says
I RUE the day I read your post on how to write a query letter, and went against my instincts and prepared query to follow your advice, creating a new one for submission to an agent who had shown previous interest in my manuscript. Including information you claimed was necessary, such as protagonist's name, description, goal, quest, complicating incident and villain, not to MENTION word count, resulted in a stinging rejection letter at the amateur nature of my attempt. I was reminded, that a query letter is meant to inspire the agent to ask to read more, but after providing all the information YOU claim "required", there was nothing left to learn in his opinion, also reminding him that the book was longer than publishers want. He told me I might be a great writer, but he would never find out after I showed myself incapable of a query on a topic he had otherwise been quite interested in. Upon more research, I wish I'd read Noah Lukeman's advice. Why, oh why, did I listen to you, forever ruining my chances at a first impression.
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
While it might be comforting to think that I was the difference between your work finding publication and not finding publication, I'm afraid I don't believe that's the case.
Anonymous says
I'm not comforted, and after extensive further research, I've yet to find a reference book, a how-to, or an agent who thinks a query should contain the myriad of details YOU think necessary. Name one, or take responsibility for offering bad advice. Naturally every agent is different, but you would think I might have found ONE source agreeing with you. Again, I challenge you to find one who reccomends every criteria I listed from you. And I won't hold my breath waiting for an answer you can't provide.