E-MAIL UPDATE: My work e-mail is now working again, so please feel free to e-mail me queries and other work-related matter. Thanks for your patience. My incoming mail from the past day should still reach me despite the error messages you received, so please hold off on e-mailing me again unless you don’t hear from me by tomorrow morning.
Now for the SUFLC.
Before we get to the nominees, I’d first like to thank everyone who entered — this was a ridiculously difficult job Anne and I had, and we were both very impressed by the quality of the nominees. So give yourselves a big round of applause, pats on each other’s backs, and heck, a few rounds of “For he/she is a jolly good fellow/lady” wouldn’t be unwarranted either.
Speaking of Anne… how can I thank Anne enough for helping me with this huge task?? Have I mentioned Good Girl Lit? THE BOOK OF JANE? CONSIDER LILY? EMILY EVER AFTER? Let’s see what else… Oh! I promised Anne everyone’s firstborn child. Hope that’s ok.
So. What makes for a good first line? GOOD QUESTION. Anne and I tried to judge these genre-appropriately and went with our gut instincts about what grabbed us. You will see from the finalists that they are on the shorter side — I’m not opposed to longer first lines, but word choice and flow is just so important and I found that it was harder to maintain over a longer first line.
But really, in describing what makes a great first line, I think Anne said it best in one of the many e-mails we sent back and forth trying to narrow down the list:
“In looking over the finalists, I realize I tend to like the ones that leave you wanting to know what they mean. They don’t necessarily ask a question, but pose a situation that you want to know more about. I guess that’s what a first line is supposed to do—draw you in—but it’s interesting to see how it works.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself. In fact I didn’t say it better myself.
Without further ado, here are the nominees. Remember, please be an honest voter and also post in the comments section who you voted for and why. Write-in votes need to be non-anonymous. Voting will be open for three days and will close whenever the widget decides it’s time to close — sometime Sunday. Thank you again to everyone who participated!!
I’m going to list the nominees here because the voting thingie limited me to 100 characters and one of them had to be shortened to fit. In no particular order:
“There’s this girl I’ve never met that I know everything in the world about.” – Eric
“His hands just looked dirty to casual eyes, a slight darkening on the knuckles, a shadow on his palm.” – Conduit
“Brooklyn didn’t know very much about me, which was exactly what I needed in a friend.” – CC
“That summer, the arsonist struck every home on the block but ours.” — jeanne
“When Earth exploded we knew there was going to be trouble.” – JD (Myspace)
“Some people have to try really hard to be a princess, but I am lucky because I was born one.” – Renee (Myspace)
“I’d only been in love with her for ten minutes when everything turned to shit.” Derek
“The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
UPDATE: I’m switching over to write-in votes due to irregular activity. Sorry for the inconvenience. I’m all for spreading the word on the Internet, but it’s not fair to the nominees when so many people are coming to the site from one specific place. This should be a contest based on merit — if you are spreading the word on the internet please do not tell people who to vote for. Hopefully this will work. Anonymous votes will not be counted.
Dr. Dume says
I vote for Jeanne – that line spells trouble ahead for the protag, and I want to know why the arsonist left them alone as much as the other residents of that street.
David says
bernita,
I really liked that one, too.
Dot says
These are all intriguing, although some of them are too over the top for me. I like CC’s best.
Magdalenish says
Okay, I usually lurk on this site but today I will speak up. I will do a write in vote. I don’t know where the voting machine thingy is, but I’ll leave it in this comment.
I have to say I really loved Isak’s first line. I couldn’t get this line out of my head all of yesterday. It made me want to read more.
“If there was any trait about him that was of any merit, it was that he was easily forgettable.” -Isak
When I first read it I just pictured a busy street in New York with a man just passing through and that there was something about him that no one else could figure out or even wants to try and figure out. It seemed very mysterious and some what inviting to me.
It sort of reminded me of the rum diaries where it takkes you on this crazy adventure with some regular, fascinating guy.
I know I don’t have much say amongst everyone, but it’s just my opinion.
Thanks- Magdalenish
Nathan Bransford says
I have to say — many of the non-finalist write-ins that people are mentioning were among the very last that were cut. You can see what a difficult job it was and how many contenders there were!
Curtastrophe says
Excellent entries everyone and congrats to the finalists. I’ve composed my own list of nine favorite one-liners with comments in huge type.
liquidambar says
I vote for Jeanne.
If I could give a second place, it would be to Derek.
I just asked myself: if I were holding these books in my hand, which one would I really keep reading?
Anonymous says
A can’t vote, but I wanted to thank those of you who short-listed my sentence on your blogs–you made my day.
Nathan, this was great fun. I appreciate the tons of work you must have put into it. You’re the greatest!
My vote would have been for Conduit
“Secret Knowledge”
https://patesden.livejournal.com/
Andrew says
The two that most made me want to keep reading were “footprints” and “arsonist.” Though the “footprints” one is a little vague, so my vote goes to “arsonist.”
But the footprints one reminds me of something I scribbled in my notebook after hearing the Buddhist monk Mingyur Rinpoche say it: “Go to beach. Go on walk. See you have feet print or not.”
Lupina says
CC got my vote. The idea of needing a clueless friend made me do a mental double-take. It implies all sorts of subtle, potential conflict, and made me want to know more about this secretive person.
How about another contest, entries limited to one day, one per person? I’m sure we would all love to have another go. And I guarantee that 99 percent of them will be terse and in first person.
Josephine Damian says
Words in, words out…. a thousand thanks for the write-in vote. I’ll post the entire scene on my blog tomorrow, along with my judging criteria for my picks.
Re: the “Brooklyn” line – it gave me pause as I considered it as a contender. But if I read some more and found out that Brooklyn was a girl and not the borough, the story would not have interested me as much.
Re: Derek’s line – It seemed like I’d already been told the whole story in that one line – I already knew how it ends – why want to read more? Seemed like yet another bad relationship story, I wanted a sense of what made this different from any other I’ve read.
This alsp applied to most of the dead body lines.
Just my opinions, of course.
Nathan, much thanks for taking a stand on the anonymous snipers.
Go, Team Conduit!
Southern Writer says
I said it before, and I stand by it. I’m casting my vote for Eric. I was immediately captured by the intrigue of a guy who knows everything about a girl he’s never met.
Aside from that, and honestly, I recognized the writing the moment I read it. I’m familiar with the author’s work, and have always thought he has the most amazing talent. Anyone can learn to write, but Eric has voice and presence, and everything he writes sings on the page. He’s going to be a very famous author someday, and I hope he’ll remember little old me who claims to have discovered him first.
sruble says
I’m voting for: “That summer, the arsonist struck every home on the block but ours.” — jeanne
Because I like the sense of danger and I’d want to see if the MC lived with the arsonist or if they were about to get torched next.
I wish I could vote 2x, because a very, very, very close (almost a tie) second place for me is: “Brooklyn didn’t know very much about me, which was exactly what I needed in a friend.” – CC
Because it makes me wonder who the MC is and why it’s good that her new friend doesn’t know anything about her.
trendynotspendy says
I vote for Derek because I would want to read a book that started with “I’d only been in love with her for ten minutes when everything turned to shit.”
Heather Wardell says
None of the ones I really liked made the shortlist, which surprised me, but my vote is for:
“The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
There’s a lot going on there, and it’s really the only one that I can’t get out of my head.
Heather
Lauren says
My vote is for: “The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
Just makes me want to read on to know why the footprints ended so abruptly and who the boy is and how his parents knew this.
Katrina Stonoff says
From this list, I would choose the arsonist line because it starts in the middle of the action and leaves me with questions.
However, my VOTE is a write-in for the line that said the hardest thing about your mother being pregnant is that all your friends know your parents are still doing it (sorry, I can’t find it on the original list, so I’ve had to paraphrase; the original was much more eloquent).
I like this one because: 1) it’s funny; 2) it makes a statement I immediately recognize as true but which never occurred to me before; 3) there’s a clear narrator’s voice (I’m assuming YA), and 4) I want to read more.
I thought the author was Natalie, so if she’s removed her line from the competition, then my vote is for the arsonist.
David says
Writing in:
“The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
With Conduit a fair second.
Both lines suggest deep and sordid plots – not necessarily my cup of tea, but effective for the intended audience.
Dave Wood says
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this fascinating contest is how quirky the whole process of writing, submitting, and getting published really is. Looking at Ms. Snark’s blog, and Nathan’s, and various websites, books, and such, gives single windows on the process and preferences of individuals. But it’s cool to see how many other takes there are on this whole thing. It’s pretty heartening, really. Twenty rejections doesn’t necessarily mean the next query won’t be the one, or that there isn’t a good publisher just waiting for each of us somewhere out there.
Dave Wood says
Okay, so call me “Pollyanna.”
Merry Jelinek says
Nathan,
Many thanks for all of the hard work you put into this contest.
Congratulations to all of the finalists, and I agree with Nathan, everyone deserves a big round of applause – there was a lot of great writing that didn’t make the finals.
Out of this list, I’ll vote for Brooklyn – for some reason I missed it in the original comments section but one glance at it here and it spoke to me more than the others. That’s no offense to the other finalists, I think all of your first lines were fantastic.
Anonymous says
Hello.
I’m “CC” and the Brooklyn line is mine.
Thank you all so very much for liking my first line and explaining why. What generous people you all are.
All the lines are so good, I haven’t decided on my favorite yet, but I do like the arsonist one a great deal.
Thanks Nathan for doing this. It’s always fun to see how other people write.
–CC
Anonymous says
I just want to mention two lines I really liked that no one else noted.
Amanda H’s line, subtle and very intriguing:
“Alice Baies never thought she would be pleased to see so much garbage.”
Mkcbunny’s line, direct, strange, interesting:
“The ants were back.”
Isak says
My vote (and I hope it’s counted, got here late…) is for wolf’s first line:
“If it was up to me, it would rain exactly 14.3% of the time.”
It’s a very strange, intriguing thing for a character to say–Why so precise? I think that also makes you want to know more about this character and that draws you into the story.
Thanks for the write-in, magdalenish.
Josephine Damian says
Dave Wood (and everyone else): I would love for the other blogging agents and editors to weigh in, vote and say why a particular line appealed to them.
And this crowd will go positively nuts if Miss Snark jumped in with an opinion…..
Miss Snark? Dare I hope? Either way, kisses to the Killer Yap.
Loquacious Me says
I vote for Eric. The voice intrigues me.
Melanie Avila says
I vote for lafreya…
Here is the question the people of my hometown of Vigilant, Michigan want answered: Why did I, Grace Johnson, an African-American high school senior, an honor student, take two bullets to protect the life of the white supremacist jackass Jonathan Gilmore?
There are a lot of directions this could go (romance, political, conspiracy, etc) and I’d like to read more.
I like a longer first line to grab me, the finalists are too short, imo.
David Roth says
“When Earth exploded we knew there was going to be trouble.” – JD (Myspace)
Dave Wood says
Oh!
“I would love for the other blogging agents and editors to weigh in, vote and say why a particular line appealed to them.”
Me too, Josephine! I’m pretty new to the whole blog thing (Who knew all this was out here?) and it didn’t occur to me to suggest the possibility, but it *would* be great. It would also be cool if the finalists could include the paragraph or two following their first lines — to see where they went with them. But that may be asking too much of Nathan and his blog. And the finalists.
Which leads me to my “thanks” to Nathan and Anne. Thanks to you both — and everyone else. This was a wonderful idea!
Stephanie Zvan says
Add me to CC’s tally.
The other one that would have led me to read on was “So I’ve been thinking of growing a backbone.” I’m terribly fond of books whose MCs do just that.
The Anti-Wife says
Conduit.
It makes you want to know if it’s really dirt or something more.
myrna de vera says
I vote for conduit.
intriguing; poetic
McKoala says
Conduit.
Happy to know Miss S is alive and kicking with stilettos.
Spartezda says
Agh, there are so many I like!
*whines awhile under breath*
All right, I’ll vote for a write-in: Cicada, with “She watched her evidence disappear, bite by bite, down the gullets of small sharks.”
Sue L says
I liked about 15 or 20 that I couldn’t have put down without reading more, but none of them made the cut.
I have no idea why this cracks me up:
>>mkcbunny said…
“The ants were back.”
but this was my fav:
>>Spartezda said…
This was the last time I let a wyvern talk me into anything.
…You just *know* someone is having a really really bad day! 🙂 And they knew it was a bad idea to start with and they did it anyway. What in the world were they thinking and how are they going to get out of it – but more importantly, what else are they going to get into before it’s over.
But of the finalists listed, I’ll vote for this one.
>>”When Earth exploded we knew there was going to be trouble.” – JD (Myspace)
Thanks for hosting this contest, it was fun, but also very educational.
Sue L
Bakerman says
Given my advanced age, I asked my grandniece (12) to make the selection:
“Some people have to try really hard to be a princess, but I am lucky because I was born one.” – Renee
Niece: “She [the princess] reminds me of Ashleigh, and Tiffany, and…” (from her class)
Wants to know when the book comes out. A big Harry Potter fan, but losing steam. Also partial to her uncle. Smart girl.
jellybean says
“The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
Ooooh, creepy and intriguing!
Lora T. says
My vote goes to Jeanne.
Chumplet says
We vote here, right? I vote for Conduit’s line. I can’t say why because I don’t really know. It says something to me. I don’t need something shocking to make me read further.
Amused Lurker: Thanks for mentioning my line. It’s good to know someone finds it intriguing.
Spartezda says
Aw, thank you, Sue L!
A Paperback Writer says
I can’t see any other way to vote except to post a comment, so I assume that’s what were supposed to do.
I’d like to vote for:
“The footprints ended abruptly, just as the boy’s parents had said they would.” – anon
But I wish s/he hadn’t posted anonymously.
elizabeth says
tough choice… i am going with jeanne’s. i want to know more about the fires…
Anonymous says
Voting for ‘footprints’! I’d definitely read on.
Church Lady says
My vote goes to CC.
I also love anon’s. (Who ARE you?!)
Thanks for a great contest–there were many that were great but weren’t included on the list.
Deborah K. White says
I vote for:
“When Earth exploded we knew there was going to be trouble.” – JD (Myspace)
I like the humor in it.
Dr. Joe says
I vote for “all homes but ours hit by arson …” etc.
Anonymous says
I wrote the footprints one. Thanks for the wonderful comments. I find myself wanting to explain, but will refrain. 😉
There were so many dazzling first lines in this contest, very intimidating competition.
I’m torn, but like Eric’s because it makes me wonder if it’s your regular kind of knowing or something supernatural.
Thanks to Nathan and Anne,
–Footprints
a longtime NB blog lurker
jeanne says
I’m thrilled to find my first line in such company! I also liked a number of the ones that didn’t make the finals. (e.g. Audreyt’s: “It’s not that I don’t believe in miracles; I just don’t have time to wait in line.” and Lafreya’s line that’s been mentioned a bunch.)
My vote is for Derek’s since I found it funny and fresh. Sounds just like a teenager where the world turns upside down from one moment to the next.
Thanks Nathan and Anne!
Sarah Hina says
I vote for Eric’s.
One line, and I already love the protagonist.
Josephine Damian says
jjdebenedictis! Where you at? We gotta tag team on this one:
*waves pom-poms* You-can-dooo-eet, Con-doo-eet!