Sometimes there are relationships in novels that just feel flat, and try as you might you just can’t get them to come alive. The characters themselves might be interesting, but when they get together somehow things just don’t feel like they pop.
I’m here to help.
Much like with individual characters, the key to spicing up relationships is bound up motivation and conflict. Here are some tips.
Give the characters different motivations
Two characters moving in lockstep don’t tend to be very interesting. It’s much more interesting to watch two characters grapple with different visions for the future and different plans, even if they’re allied on a quest or feel romantically toward each other.
Even two characters who have the same goal (saving the galaxy, say) might have different reasons for pursuing it. One might want glory, one might want fortune, one might want to restore peace and quiet.
Always know what your characters want! And no two characters should have precisely the same underlying motivations. Make sure these differences come to the surface.
Make the characters more active
It’s not enough for characters to just have a motivation, they need to be actively going after that thing. If one or both characters in a relationship are passive, the relationship itself is inevitably going to feel lifeless.
A great relationship in a novel starts with two characters who aren’t afraid to go after the things that motivate them.
If your characters are both going after the things they want they almost can’t help but have an interesting relationship because those differing underlying motivations will result in interesting conflict.
Put obstacles in their way
Too many romantic relationships I read progress in a very neat and orderly progression from first attraction to passionate love.
The best way to show two characters falling in love isn’t to beat the reader over the head with their immediate and easy passion. Instead, throw a whole bunch of obstacles in their way! False starts, misunderstandings, temptations, the outside world interfering… it can be anything, just don’t make it easy.
When characters have to move heaven and earth to be together and make sacrifices, it feels much more earned than a perfectly straight line from first attraction to wedding bells. Characters who have to work for it demonstrate their attraction to each other through their actions and it’s far more palpable.
Show the contrast in their values
When you think of some of the most interesting duos in literature, often they are two characters who have very different ways of moving through the world.
Much as with great villains, a contrast in values will bring interesting dynamics out of both characters. The relationship puts their worldview to the test.
If a relationship lacks some jazz, think about how you can give the characters different worldviews that come into conflict.
Always end scenes in a different place than they began
By far the most common and problematic issue I see with relationships in novels is when there are two characters who always have basically the same interactions over the course of the novel. They may have a fun relationship and crack some fantastic jokes, but if their essential dynamic doesn’t change from the beginning to the end, it’s going to feel static and not that interesting.
Every single scene between two major characters should end with their relationship in a slightly different place than it was in the scene before. Ideally this will be a series of ups and downs with increasing intensity over the course of the novel.
Always, always think about how you can introduce conflicts and resolutions that deepen over the course of the novel.
Do you have any advice for spicing up relationships in novels? Let me know in the comments!
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Art: Nordic summer’s evening by Richard Bergh
The relationships I love in novels and TV shows are ones in which you don’t have all that conflict and incompatible goals, etc. Frodo and Sam, Holmes and Watson, Spock and Kirk, Xena and Gabrielle, Buffy and Miles. These character pairs also have relatively routine relationships, in which the reader or viewer can count on a particular kind of interaction. Their scenes provide a kind of resting spot in the plot-driven stories, and a reassuring reminder of what the author identifies as good.
I find myself wondering what kind of book would need the tense, dramatic kind of relationships you’re talking about. Is this advice mainly for romance novels (a genre I know nothing about)?
I think there’s a mistaken notion here that conflict has to mean *fighting*. Spock and Kirk, for instance, have significantly different world views. Frodo and Sam have different personalities and motivations.
Conflict doesn’t always mean yelling and fighting, but it does mean contrast, jousting, and the navigation of the differences I articulate in the post.
Looking at the two I’m most familiar with (Frodo/Sam, Holmes/Watson), they only seem to have the same motivation at first glance. Destroy the ring! Solve the mystery! However, in both pairs the ‘sidekick’ character is also very motivated to get the protagonist through the conflict in one piece. The protagonists themselves are so engrossed in in overcoming the main conflict that they have very little sense of self-preservation. To me, that’s a huge source of tension in these character pairs, even if it doesn’t read like an argument.
Great points as always. I don’t have any tips, just observations on what doesn’t work for me. Some books I’ve read are unbelievable because they haven’t given the characters enough uniqueness for me to understand why the other character would be interested in them. I see this a lot with immortal characters or characters from totally different backgrounds. Another thing I see is that relationships aren’t built. They meet and then they’re in love or best friends. Sometimes the in-between getting to know each is forgotten, not that it has to be straightforward and boring, or tell their life history, but I like for them to know something about each other that others don’t know or understand.
What I see too often in attempted romances — and sometimes in mentorships, friendships, and other relationships too — is the idea that being in the relationship makes the characters interesting.
It can’t.
A relationship can only build on what personality and goals they already have. Simply pointing two people together and plotting up “Now he loves her but she’s with his rival” is meaningless, unless we already care about what love can *mean* for both of them. Then their connection, or any other plot changes, can multiply that even further.
Stories multiply character appeal. They don’t help when a character’s a zero.
A third person always has a possibility of adding interest. A mother-in-law, a Christian friend, a boss–any of those could, by normal (or even stereotypical) goals, cause tension, conflicting sympathy, rivalry, etc.
Environment often becomes a third character, too. The work environment can elicit one response, the home environment another.
Adding substance use/abuse can change a personality enough to add spice to any relationship, even adding a Jekyll/Hyde facet for a bit of confusion and suspense, or even could advance a climax.
Ira and Maggie Moran in Breathing Lessons follows all of this great advice.
Thanks for this post. I’ve been thinking of ways to improve my novel and I ‘spicing up relationships’ is the answer. Thanks much.