On last week’s episode of Girls, Hannah got a temporary day job in GQ’s advertorial department, where she had a taste of success (as well as free snacks).
Her fellow co-workers were fellow aspiring writers, and during a slightly fraught break room chat, they revealed that all of their writing successes came before they had a day job. Hannah quits, not wanting to wake up in ten years having failed to pursue her real writing, but later decides to try to have it both ways and vows to write three hours every night.
I’m sure this episode rang true for many a writer. Barring some sort of independent wealth or a generous benefactor, there are really only two choices:
- Quit/scale back your day job to have more time to write, plunging yourself into financial uncertainty.
- Keep your day job and carve out time for writing in the margins, plunging yourself into creative uncertainty.
- Writing can be solitary — I like going into an office, having a routine, seeing coworkers I like every day, and getting out of my own head.
- Writing can be frustrating — I like having something else I’m invested in, particularly in an arena where one’s effort is often more closely tied to tangible results.
Jaimie says
"I like having a career." You know what? I kinda like it too…
I try to write 2 hours a day, but if I'm feeling terrible I keep my schedule free enough that I can throw all social life to the wind and write ALL DAY SUNDAY or 5 hours on a weeknight or something equally day-seizing. All my creative successes have been while working full time — and I have non-full-time experiences to compare it to.
"And I don't know how this will work once I have a family."
Yeah, no family for me. For a while anyway. Not that I'm turning down offers… But since I'm not sacrificing financial security, I'm cool sacrificing that. Even if I ever get me a husband, I never want kids. Won't have time for them.
Curtis Edmonds says
Fortunately, I find that the time I am able to spend writing (an hour or so a day, after work and after my twin daughters are in bed) matches up well with my daily level of creativity (which is to say, not very much).
The key is consistency. If you can sit down and write a thousand words a day for two months straight, you'll have 60,000 words, and that there is not chicken feed.
Stephanie Faris says
For me, freelance writing was the answer. I prefer writing fiction, but being able to work from home on my schedule is the answer. Sites like Elance have been lifesavers for many of us non-corporate types!
However, writing fiction full-time is my dream, so I'm spending as much time as possible promoting my upcoming release… Once you start juggling writing, promoting, and a day job (not to mention a family), it gets pretty tough!
Nathan Sisk says
I have a wife in nursing school and a three year old son, usually it comes down to having a schedule and willing to see that schedule get blown away because things come up.
I write in the margins of time I have. For example, after my son goes to sleep and before my wife gets home from school or weekends after everyone has gone to bed.
beckylevine.com says
You say this so perfectly. I did the stay-at-home, freelance things for many years while my son was growing, and now that he's driving and heading off to college soon, I am looking to go back to work. I did make progress on my fiction while I was "off," but didn't get the agent or the publisher. I'm still on track for that, but I am SO ready to go back to work. And full-time. I miss just what you're talking about, the community and the dynamics. I know it's going to be a challenge when I DO find that job, but I don't want to do it the other way anymore. I'm going to choose the carving out.
Amy says
Lovely piece, Nathan. I have a wife, three kids, and a full-time job as a university fundraiser. I also write novels. It took 10 years to see my first one published in 2012 & I'm in the throes of book 2 now. In my experience, where giving up the day job is not a financial possibility given my role as primary breadwinner for my family, it just means the writing takes longer. Which can be frustrating. But my kids like to eat. And take dance lessons. And someday go to college. Right now the book money is "fun money"—big screen TV; trip to Disneyland; down pymt on a car. Not actual make a living kind of money. Doesn't mean I don't dream about a day when it might be. I just don't pay the mortgage with it. Yet. 🙂
Sharon Cullen says
I have a day job and write. I'm lucky in that my day job is part time. I'm also lucky in that my husband is the main bread winner. I jealously guard my part-time status and have repeatedly turned down full time jobs to protect my writing career.
I write every day. I don't give myself a time limit nor a word count. Although I try to write 1,000 words a day but if I don't get to 1,000 words I don't beat myself up over it. Its tough to find your groove, but once you do it all falls into place.
I also have a family–3 kids, a husband and two dogs. They all demand my time. I've learned to write in the family room with the TV on. That way the family doesn't get upset that I'm not there.
Matthew MacNish says
Don't think I would ever quite my day job. Or at the very least I would have to be making a LOT of money selling books before it would be worth giving up the health insurance and the 401k.
Then again, if I was working in a carrot factory …
Regina says
Nathan, this is a great take on the "quit my job or not debate." I've coped with it in the past by working part-time at a nonprofit to supplement my book/business income. It's great to have an office and office friends and a reason to leave home. Writing and other entrepreneurial pursuits can be solitary/lonely otherwise–as you pointed out. As long as you can find balance, which won't look the same for any two people, then I think you're in the right place.
abc says
If I were paid to write I think I'd still want to do therapy. It gives my life greater meaning in a different way. But I wouldn't do it full time. I mean, I really like binging on Netflix. I don't ski, but I do live in Iowa so it's not really an option (though cross country looks fun…).
When you have a family–a baby, especially–it is going to be really, really hard. My kid is 10 and easy now. I have to beg her to stop playing minecraft and hang out with me.
Glad you watch Girls. I love Girls! I love Lena Dunham!
David Jón Fuller says
I think the struggle you articulate hits the nail on the head! I often fantasize about having all the time int he world to write, but feel I'd have to win the lottery first 😛
I write during my commute in winter months (I take the bus) and on lunch breaks. In the summer I use lunch breaks and whatever half-hour (or 15-minute) chunks I can sneak. I find it helps to have short-term goals (eg. word counts per week, or new short stories completed per month) and then you can actually get a lot done while working full-time. And to be honest, I somehow get more writing done in those little bursts over the course of a week than I do on any day "off" I could use to spend writing.
In extreme cases, I beg off time normally spent with family to finish up a project for a deadline — but by and large I poach only from my own "free" time.
remarz says
Since teaching middle schoolers keeps me immersed in their world and that's what I write about, it's a definite plus to spend my days with 13-year olds. Like you, I also enjoy the financial security and things like insurance and retirement – and the 14 weeks off a year definitely doesn't suck – so I can't imagine quitting teaching at this point.
So for now, I'll continue with my five am wake up calls – writing after teaching all day ain't gonna happen – and devoting more time to writing in the summer.
Things could be worse…I could be an accountant (I say this after spending two days in Income Tax Prep Hell).
ericadwilkinson says
I find this struggle to be enormously challenging.
I am the sole breadwinner for my family (not married, but I support my Mom and two young brothers), so a day job with benefits is crucial.
So I'm trying to balance my own writing, working full time, a family at home, a research/author's assistant gig, getting back in shape, dating, and being involved at my church.
I can't do all of them. At the moment, I'm finding that it is a win for me if I am deliberate about what I choose to focus on, or put aside, instead of just getting overwhelmed.
My day job, family, and church are things that I can't give up — so writing, side gig, and getting in shape, and dating have to take turns.
For the next 4 months I've decided to work on getting in shape and writing, with as much dating as I can squeeze in the cracks, and to lay my side gig aside completely.
There is always a compromise.
Rachel says
For me, I write as my day jobbut because it's mainly non-fiction so by the end of the day I'm starving to write fiction so I make time in the evening to write.Sometimes I double up and have some tv shows on in the background and although I'm often tired of all the endless writing but I figure that if I want it bad enough I'll do it. But I love having a career. You can have a day job and write if you really want it. I don't do word counts- those aren't what I'm about, but I write what I can and it all comes together.
Bryan Russell says
My four kids are even more demanding than the day job. I mean, my day job has never broken my nose. Or covered the cupboards, floor, table, and itself with lard. Yes, lard.
Chudney DeFreitas-Thomas says
I have a day job. I like having people to interact with and the benefits that come with the day job. However I literally have to carve time out to write, with a family that means I have to schedule family time and writing time and sometimes writing time is the two hours I get before I go to sleep.
Bryan Russell says
@ Matthew MacNish
HAHAHAHAHA.
Ah, the carrot factory… I did wreck a few fingers there.
Kristi Lea says
I write romance and most of the other writers I meet tend to be either childless/empty-nesters, or stay-at-home-moms (or would be if they weren't writing). Which makes me, the woman with 2 elementary-aged kids and a full-time non-writing out-of-the-house career (software), an exception to the rule.
There are days I wish I could quit the day job and write, but I make too much money in software and too little in my writing (so far, only pubbed by small e-presses, and not yet covering my Starbucks tab). The day job provides health insurance for my family. It also exercises other parts of my brain (all that logic and math and orderly thinking that I throw out the window when immersed in a story).
I honestly don't juggle everything that well. I'm not a write-every-day person. Lately, I'm not even a write-every-week or write-every-month person. I do things in spurts. When the day job starts sapping all my creative/intellectual energy, then I'm lucky to have enough brain cells left to cook dinner (hello, chicken nuggets). So I'll take months at a time off from the writing. And when the day job gets too routine, I find myself staying up late to write just one more chapter of the book-I'm-compelled-to-write.
I wonder whether I'd be a much better writer if I didn't also have the day job (probably). I wonder if I'd be much better at the day job if I weren't writing (possibly). I know I'd be a much better mother if I did neither of those things and spent my days focusing only on my children and husband's needs.
I also know I'm a much more complete person if I do all of that imperfectly than if I tried to do just one thing.
Xanthorpe says
"And I don't know how this will work once I have a family."
The answer to that is, "Very carefully!"
Despite my empathy with the family folks who have weighed in here, my biggest challenge is the discipline. Unfortunately, I'm not Louis L'Amour, who once said he could write in the middle of Sunset Blvd.
I really have to get my mind wrapped around writing and be 'in the mood' as it were. That makes it tough to carve out the time during lunch or after work.
Being involved in a dynamic writer's group helps; and I did get a short story published in an actual book in November! But now, it's back to the, "What have you written lately?" questions…
Oh; and Stephanie, if you can write a how-to book for people without a writer's resume on how to succeed on eLance, you could probably make a tidy living off those residuals. I have a fair number of years of writing experience and I'm not using it to work for hours on end to make $20…so any tips there would be MOST appreciated 🙂
Kerrie says
What you say is true…but…if you throw in having children, it all changes. If you have a day job and children, I've found it next to impossible to write. Any time you are away from the child (at your day job), you will want to be spending time with your kid(s) when you are home. Add cooking meals, more laundry and dishes, kid activities, etc., when would you write? After they go to bed? Forget it. YOU have to get to bed so you can get some sleep before you have to get back to your day job. I was driving myself mad trying to fit in writing. I am a much happier person now that I decided I cannot fit ot in my life right now? If writing is making me miserable, then why do it, right?
Dana Fredsti says
Timely post for me, Nathan! I've been working a day job and writing/publishing on deadline for the last seven years. At times I could write at work – things were slow and i had an understanding boss. Then the job ramped up for a number of reasons and I lost all balance between work/writing/relaxation .It was pretty much like being on a giant hamster wheel with no real breaks and in a state of constant fight or flight. In other words, relaxing was not something that every really happened. I finally came close to a nervous breakdown in October last year, got an extension on my deadline from my publisher, and took a big step back to see what changes I needed to make in order to a: continue writing, b: continue earning enough money to pay rent, etc., and c: enjoy life and spend time with friends and quality time with my boyfriend. It took a mental/emotional paradigm shift, more discipline when it comes to my focus when I write, the realization that the fate of the free world does not rest on my shoulders alone. 🙂 Also, the encouragement of fellow writers and readers is invaluable. AND I've learned that I can write anywhere if I have to given enough deadline pressure so now I'm trying to utilize that new found skill without needing the pressure. I don't know about the whole family thing, but I guess twelve cats and a dog sorta count. 🙂 All of this being said, if I could earn enough to get by without a full time day job, I'd do it in a heartbeat. If they loosened the dress code to include pajamas, I might rethink this.
Heather Button says
Oh my word! Thank you for saying this. I have a demanding career (which I love) and I write fiction in my off hours and I keep seeing posts with the new author paradigm where you have to keep writing all the time in order to succeed, putting multiple books out in a year. I've been looking for this perspective, as I don't want to eliminate either. And I've been looking to Kathy Reichs for inspiration, though she doesn't talk about working and writing often.
sharongerlach says
I like having a career too – mostly because otherwise I would be a complete hermit. The social interaction keeps me balanced and keeps my worldbuilding, characters, and dialogue realistic.
How I make it work with a family AND a career? With difficulty. When my kids were small, I finally just put away my writing (for ten years!) because it was too difficult to try to take care of growing kids on top of a full-time job. Even now that they're grown and I have grandchildren, my writing gets shunted to the side frequently for family time. And when I'm deep in a book and closing in on the end, the family often sacrifices time with me and attention from me so I can complete the project. I work from a laptop in the kitchen to try to minimize the damage, but that slso means frequent interruptions while I'm writing.
Honestly, I've never found a 100% happy solution. They sacrifice willingly, knowing the alternative is me not writing and going completely crazy, but sometimes the sacrifice is made grudgingly.
Donna Hosie says
Right now I'm balancing a full-time job, writing, three children and life. It's hard. I forgo sleep, waking at 4am to write before work, and then I do another couple of hours when I get home. Yesterday I worked from 4am – 8pm. I'm knackered, but we do what we have to do. Right now I choose writing over sleep!
KAT Writer says
Great topic. As evidenced by all the comments.
There is no right answer. It is what ever works best for you. I have a career, am a mother of two elementary aged kids and spend time on my writing daily.
I struggle more with the work associated with being a writer. When I write my novel I am in heaven. It is a release of creativity and endorphins that make me a far saner person and better mother than I would be without them.
It is the extra work of building a platform and keeping up with the industry that ruins the whole writing experience for me. Unlike my job where I get out and socialize this is more time stuck with the computer and generating work that it is hard to see the results of.
Writing makes me so happy that I will suffer through twitter and staying up late and getting up early to make time for it and so that is not during family time.
The support of other writers is an amazing, unexpected coup of writing. I have never in my life met a more open, helpful and caring group of people. Being a part of this community is such a pleasure.
One piece of advice I can offer is to figure out when you are most creative so that the time you set aside to write is the most productive it can be.
I have tried writing after a long day and find I produce less and it is work I am not as happy with. When I write in the morning I can create much less muddied story arcs, better descriptions and more pages.
I save my twitter, blog and editing for night time as those items can be done with less creativity.
Happy writing!
Ilana Weiner says
Hi Nathan thanks for posting as always! About five years ago I quit my corporate career to try to find a more fulfilling day job. Unfortunately the money wasn't there, so I'm back to the corporate office grind. I agree that having money does take the pressure off the writing. My struggle has been finding a career that I like as much as writing. Right now I'm going through a crisis of sorts realizing that I'm just not excited about any career except for writing, which doesn't pay the bills right now. I suspect this is a struggle that many writers have so consider yourself very lucky that you have been able to find writing success and as well as find a second career that you love!
Gretchen says
I'm a middle school English teacher, and the other day, after I'd read a piece of my writing as an example in a lesson, one of my students told me I should "quit this hole and write a book!" Ha! I laughed so hard. And then I told her, quite honestly, that I live teaching and wouldn't want to give it up. I'd love to publish a wildly successful and well-loved book, but I would so miss the kids if I went full-time-writer.
Cathy says
I tried balancing writing with a 50/hour week job for many years. Eventually, when my blood pressure was high and I had become overweight and diabetic, I decided to retire from my job. Trying to balance both was too much. Although, like you, I LOVED my job. It was time to pursue my writing dream full time. We had met our retirement goals. Our kids were grown. Nothing was being sacrificed, and especially not a comfortable retirement.
Though I had been in a job where I was directing large groups of people (children) almost every day, I don't miss it at all anymore. As a former children's librarian, I like not being "needed" all the time to entertain young library patrons during story times, or to answer reference questions.
My husband wasn't so keen on the idea at first, and if you're in a relationship, both people need to be on board to a big reduction in income. But I am also not eating lunch out every day, not putting 25,000 miles/year on my car, not buying a wardrobe and so many other things. I'm able to make much better meals, and keep our house cleaner. My health has improved.
Well, this ended up being long-winded. But if you continue to pursue both at full bore, I suspect that eventually your health will suffer and you will burn out on one or the other.
Aly Brown says
Thanks for sharing your insight. This dilemma speaks to many of us. I sometimes wish I could focus solely on my writing. As it stands, my family and career are leaving little room for working on my next book. But, like you, I'm happy with my job. Also, my kids are still small and I just want to enjoy them. (Plus, I'm still celebrating the fact that I just conquered a massive pile of laundry. Oh, yeah, livin' the dream.)
My current struggle revolves around making time to write book two in my trilogy, now that the first is out. With three small kids and a job, my writing hours exist once the sun has gone down and, by then, I'm usually ready to crash as well.
Thanks, again, for posting. It's making me rethink my writing schedule!
Heidi says
Writing in the evenings and on weekends doesn't feel like I'm giving anything up. Except when friends or co-workers talk about shows they're watching on Netflix or TV, and I have to say I don't watch because I have to write. The looks I get range from WHAAATTTT? to Poor You.
But that's the "price" I pay, and it doesn't feel alike a lot.
Lara Dunning says
I have a day job and I feel lucky because the hours are super flexible and I can work from home. For the majority of time I really enjoy my work life. What I find hard is to be completely immersed in a writing time slot and then have to pull away from it for work. At the moment I'm trying to build my freelance writer resume up more in hopes to become more of a working writer.
M. R. Pritchard says
I have a night job, working as a registered nurse, and during my days off, my day job is homeschooling. I squeeze my writing in between all of this. It's hard and hectic, but I like it that way. I never get bored, and I'm always networking.
AM Riley says
While my daughter was young, I got into the habit of getting up before 5 am so that I could write. Occasionally the job is so demanding that I don't get home before midnight and during those times I could only focus on the day job. It was a nice break because when I started writing again I almost always had solutions to problems in the story that I hadn't been able to figure out before. Now that my daughter is grown, I am in the habit of rising early which is a great benefit in general.
Jason Bougger says
I'm in that place where we've got two young kids, one is a boy just over 2 and a half, and the other is a 7 month old baby.
My first accepted short story didn't come until after our boy was born, so I didn't really start writing seriously until then.
I've got an hour long drive to work and my wife is a full time teacher, so she often brings work home.
Needless to say, we're busy.
I'm not posting any of that to whine, but just to give some background.
I get about an hour a day during the week to work on my fiction, so I'll share what works for me.
The second our 2-year-old goes to bed, I head downstairs to the computer and start writing.
An hour isn't much, so I make sure I have a plan going in. "Tonight, I'm going to write 500 words," or "Tonight I'm going to read through my third draft of this short story." Having a plan going in saves my from spending any precious time fiddling around trying to figure out what I want to work on.
I use my lunch break at work for some of the other important stuff, like searching for agents, and possible publishers, blogging, twitter, etc.
And I keep telling myself it's all temporary. You know, until I make it 🙂
Bruce Bonafede says
"…once I have a family." Well, in my view the first thing you can do is forget about writing for awhile. I became a dad when I was 35 and the first thing I realized is I had never really understood what the word "tired" meant before that. After awhile, how it will work will depend on what kind of a dad you want to be. I wanted to be very involved as a dad and between that and a "day job" (which has never been 40 hours a week, more like 60) there was NO time for writing for many years. It drove me crazy but it was totally worth it.
thewriteedge says
I have a family. Two kids, seven and five, who keep me running with school and extracurricular activities. And I'm a freelance editor, so I have writers who I have to keep track of/help/email/stay sane with. I'm also a recovering introvert, so since we moved here to Central Illinois last summer from Salt Lake City I'm trying very hard to have a social life with the new people I've met.
In between all of this and around it and through it and above it and below it, I'm trying to write. I'm the last one to go to bed at night because that's usually the only time I have to write, even though I don't like missing out on sleep and it's harder to be creative when I'm tired from the day's events. I carry a notebook with me during the kids' music lessons and dance lessons and swimming lessons so I can do some quick outlining of new stories (particularly the one I'm going to attempt for NaNoWriMo this year.) And I'm constantly talking to myself, trying out dialogue or vetting possible plotlines as I do the dishes or fold the laundry or drive from one place to another.
I love to write. I wish I had more time to do it. But I also look at all those other things in my life as potential story pieces. An overheard conversation somewhere or an encounter with a salesperson can turn into something for a story one day. So I look at my non-writing time as a potential treasure box and try to remind myself that although it's hard for me to write, I'm writing more now than I have ever before.
Carol Coven Grannick says
Yes. And not only because I am not a writer who works best for 6-8 hours a day, but because I am always, but not ONLY, a writer.
JenniferDZ says
I love my "day" job, but it's also as a writer and instructor(medical), so I do sometimes get burned out on writing, and I'm a freelance writer, so I'm my own boss. Business is booming right now, so I don't get much time for fiction. I did just finish my MFA in Writing Popular Fiction, though, so I am "finished" my first novel. Between the job and the family, though, I don't get much time to revise right now. Soon, though…soon! I'm getting the itch again after falling down in exhaustion after finishing the degree!
Anonymous says
My consistently paying job is one I LOATHE. So that helps a lot as I push forward with my writing. And yes, I forgo Netflix for writing. As well as sleep (I do six rather than eight hours) for writing. But those things are indulgences. The things I don't cut back time on? My children. My exercise. Those things are not indulgences and, when push comes to shove, outrank my writing time and ambitions.
-Susan
Carolin says
Well, unless you're independently wealthy, you'll HAVE to keep your day job, as very few writers can make a comfortable living off their writing.
So, like you and like many others, I have a full-time day job, a full-time horse farm to run, and write when I have some hours, i.e. am not too bushed to do so.
One of these days my magnum opus will be finished (hopefully by the end of this year), and then we'll see how it flies 😉
rebeccam says
Yes, it takes a lot of discipline. That's the key. I was able to reduce my hours at work and keep my job at four days a week, which left me time to research and write my book and also build up a freelance business. But it took much longer to finish the book than it would have if I didn't have the job. If you're not in a rush and you're disciplined, you can do it!
patdonovan says
Thanks, Nathan, for weighing in on this. After YEARS of procrastinating, I began fiction writing about three years ago, and a novel in earnest 18 months ago (recently completed). About a year ago, I scaled back my full time job as a journalist to devote more time to my fiction. The early morning is my most creative time, although my work is full of X's where I have to go back later and plug in the word that wouldn't come to me at 6:30 a.m.
Most days I don't want to leave my home desk, but I am very, very grateful for a flexible day job for which I am paid to write. And I firmly believe that my pre-office fiction writing informs my work, making me a better writer and editor once I get to the office. I'm like an athlete who has completed the warmup.
That said, don't ask me what I'd do if the big book contract ever comes through!
Lori Schafer says
I'm fortunate in that I have flexible hours at my day job, so I can basically choose when I work. During the slower times of year, I can get a ton of writing done, but of course, my paychecks are a lot smaller. And I do find that I get frustrated during the busy times, wishing I had more time to write. On the other hand, sometimes it is a nice change of pace to do the day job, particularly since most of it is math. I suppose what I'm saying is… I really have nothing to complain about 🙂
Julie Musil says
I don't have an official day job, but I'm the mother of three teen sons who keep me super busy. Thankfully, my hubby is the breadwinner. Still, I carve out time between sports, field trips, and other activities for writing. It's a well balanced life, and I'm grateful for it.
Vicky Lorencen says
Your experience mirrors mine (although I do have a family added to the mix). I'm thankful to be paid to write and edit full-time, while I pursue my own writing passions in children's literature.
cinthiaritchie.com says
Great comments!
I wrote my first book while working full-time as a single mother. It took me seven years but I finally finished, found a publisher, etc.
Then I took off two years, lived on my novel advance and freelancing and it was nice, not having a schedule and being able to write when I wanted.
I was also (dare I say it?) bored out of my mind. I'm not very disciplined and it was hard to maintain a schedule.
Now I'm back at an editing job. Luckily I can set my own schedule and do a lot of work from home. It's more difficult to find writing time but I often get more done since I no longer waste hours watching movies or playing Spider Solitaire.
I think most of us have this romantic notion of staying home and writing all day, every day. But trust me, the grass isn't always greener.
P.S. I'm also a marathon runner. Juggling a full-time job, writing and long-distance running isn't easy, but it is doable. You just have to love what you do enough to make it a priority.
Perry Payne says
I've structured the work-art balance in many ways over the decades, sometimes focusing solely on business, sometimes solely on art, but more often – and successfully, when there's a beautiful, busy, stimulating stew of both with a bit of volunteering and socializing to add savor. I feel more creative and productive, the more interactive I am. The more people I encounter and work with in all arenas, the more stories I encounter to sing, tell, and play. If art serves to reflect society, then it's good to be in society and relevant. Thanks for opening this discussion, Nathan! I hope you're loving New York as I did for twenty years!
Anonymous says
I always see people in their twenties and thirties trying to rush things, and freaking out when things don't happen fast enough for them. I guess it's human nature, but most successful long term writing careers have been nurtured for years and most writers aren't even ripe until they are in their forties. The fact is that if you truly love to write you will be a writer until the day you die. Writers don't retire, they expire. And those who have to balance careers with writing will only get better if they stick with it. The one thing that often suffers is a social life, but then most writers who passionately love what they do don't even consider this much of a trade off. We would rather be writing about skiing than actually skiing.
Tiffany N. York says
In my opinion, it's not possible to have it all. Something will always suffer. I'm a single mother with no weekends off or parents to take my son off my hands. I juggle paying the bills, maintaining a house, a yard, a car, my writing, and my son. I gave up having a relationship. Takes too much time and energy to cultivate and nurture one.
So, yeah…
Anonymous says
I wanted to add one more thing. I see many who talk about how hard it is for them to write. And writing is a different process for everyone. But sometimes people need to be honest with themselves and face facts. I don't want to sound like a dream crusher here but not everyone was cut out to be a career writer who makes a living at it. We all have individual talents and if writing starts to take an emotional toll maybe it's not the right thing for someone. I have seen published authors with books that didn't sell torture themselves and continue with more books that don't sell. When is it time to turn that talent in a more positive direction? Maybe with another career? There are no easy answers but I don't think everyone who wants to be a working writer does it for the right reasons. And the glut in the self publishing market right now is a good example of this. I know one author in his 70's who has been writing these terrible non fic spiritual books for years and no one reads them. People usually avoid him at parties.