Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you can’t use one of these openings or that there aren’t good books that start this way.
I am saying that you should think once, twice, and five thousand times about using these. They are both extremely common among unpublished authors and extremely difficult to pull off effectively.
UPDATED 5/30/19
A character waking up
Sure, there’s probably a good reason the character is getting woken up. Maybe their house is on fire/they’re late for school/they just realized their insides are being sucked out by a sea monster. But not only is waking up overdone, what exactly is gained by showing a character wake up? Why not just cut to the insides-getting-sucked-out chase?
A character looking in a mirror
I know what you’re thinking. Namely: “How in the heck am I going to show the reader what this character looks like when it’s a 1st person narrative? Hmm… Mirror!” Don’t do it. There is another way.
Extended dialogue with insufficient grounding
It’s difficult for readers to ease into a new world and get their bearings. It’s even more difficult to feel grounded when you’re watching two characters talk and you’re not exactly sure who they are.
Action with insufficient grounding
You’ve probably heard that you need to grab the reader right off the bat. But it’s really difficult to care about what is happening in an action sequence before the reader knows where they are and who they care about. Even if you do begin with action make sure there’s enough establishing detail for the reader to sort out what’s really happening.
Character does X and oh by the way they’re dead
By all means, tip off your reader that they’re dealing with an undead protagonist. But playing it for shock value probably isn’t going to work. Think about it – by the time the reader picks up your book in the paranormal section of the bookstore with a title called BEING DEAD SUCKS and a cover to match, are they really going to be surprised when your protagonist does something pithy and then you reveal they’re dead?
What do you think? What are some of your least favorite openings?
(Check out literary agent Kristin Nelson’s list as well.)
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Art: Tiger and Snake by Eugéne Delacroix
The English Teacher says
Worse than the character's just waking up at the start of the book is when the reader is forced to go through a whole dream with them, thinking it's the "reality" of the book, and then — surprise!– it's just a dream!
Annoying.
Clémentine B says
Hilarious!
The dream thing that the English teacher pointed out is definitely a pet peeve too.
However, I disagree with the dialogue one. I like the unsettlement of having dialogue when you don't know who's who and what they're talking about.
In children's books: the silly 'Timmy thought this would just be an ordinary school day'
4ndyman says
I get annoyed when a book opens with a protracted description of the setting without any characters being introduced or anything actually happening. Don't make me wait for 2 or 3 pages for the story to actually begin.
Laurapoet says
Great Post! I'm certainly guilty of the mirror thing when i was younger, but it usually wasn't in the beginning.
Maybe its me, but i don't like when books start out with a description of the landscape. I always find myself thinking, "Get to the characters already!"
debutnovelist says
Hi Nathan
Totally agree with all your choices and the dream – please no more dreams! Less annoying but alsohackneyed is the death-bed/graveside scene (oops – was just about to do one of those!) and I'm also fed up of weather at the start of a novel – pouring rain/mist/searing heat in first para just too obvious a way of setting mood or atmosphere.
AliB
The English Teacher says
4ndyman and Laurapoet,
I'd suggest avoiding Sir Walter Scott, Thomas Hardy, and Victor Hugo, then, if long setting descriptions bother you. 🙂
Jeff Abbott says
PANIC opened with the main character waking up — but in fairness, being woken by a phone call that would change everything in his life. It sold a few copies in Britain and elsewhere in Europe. 🙂 And for the new, reimagined YA version of PANIC that comes out next week, I got rid of that opening.
But yes, generally, I really agree with your list.
Lura Slowinski says
Prologues featuring characters who aren't really characters in the novel. Usually this means they all wind up dead by the end of the prologue, in which case I can't help wondering why we're supposed to care. How can you feel a threat fully when you don't even know who the story is about? Nothing is at stake yet, except your interest in turning the pages.
Jadi says
Ditto on the dream sequence thing.
Also, when it's told in third person, but nobody has names.
The woman, the boy. Unless whoever's POV you're using doesn't know who they are, wouldn't he think of them as their name?
Cyndy Aleo says
I'm never a fan of hard-and-fast rules like this. None of these comes off as hackneyed if it's done RIGHT.
chelsea says
I heard somewhere that you're never supposed to open a story with the protagonist inside of a vehicle. Any idea why?
BP says
A MIRROR!? FOR REAL?! To show how the character looks? That is a new one for me; I wonder, does it read as bad as it sounds??? Probably… 😉
Nathan Bransford says
Cyndy-
Well, yeah. That's why I started the post with: "Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you can't use one of these openings or that there aren't good books that start this way."
Angela S. says
I dislike reading stories that open with pointless routine. Yes, showing how the character's life is before it's upset is good, I guess, but it usually goes on for pages– with no interaction with other characters.
Nathan Bransford says
Jeff-
That's awesome that the YA PANIC is coming out next week, congrats!!
Serenity says
This is so helpful! I love knowing situational cliches to avoid. Also, I definitely agree with needing a wee bit o' who/what/where mixed in with the opening action or conversation. Quotation marks are actually my least favorite opening in a book. I'm way too stuck on the basic principle behind once-upon-a-time.
Jay says
Part of my protag's (first person book) issues stem from inferiority of her appearance. I managed to show what she looked like through contrast with a companion, who looked much different. I saw this done in another book and I stole the method outright.
I'm not too into appearance descriptions unless it has something to do with the plot or them, anyways.
Maria says
For a while every book I read had a "prologue" beginning, where you're thrown right into the climax of the story, and then whoosh, back to chapter 1 to see how it all began. If done well, it can serve to build tension and keep interest. But if not done well, it seems like a ploy to keep you slogging through a lackluster story with the promise that it does get interesting. And sometimes it seems unnecessary altogether. In a detective story where you might expect an action scene why have a prologue at all?
D. U. Okonkwo says
Hilarious! And I think very, very true! Great post.
Rainy says
I would have to add forced dialogue, added for the sake of the reader and doesn't feel natural at all. There's never a place for that, but I usually see it in the openings.
Rainy
Stephanie Garber says
I don't have a ton of opening pet-peeves, but I really don't like it when a book starts with the author telling the reader what is about to come, things like:
I found out I had superpowers on my sixteenth birthday…
The day I died started out like a normal Monday…
Everything changed the day the new boy showed up at school…
None of these are real examples, but stuff like this bothers me… I want to read to see what happens next, not be told before it happens 🙂
Janice says
I hate it when a character is introduced, seems like a nice character, and then dies. I also don't like characters that start off whiney or really hating themselves.
Stephanie {Luxe Boulevard} says
I like a beginning with subtle action. Something that has the character moving but isn't overwhelming me, making my head spin before I've finished page one.
BTW: Kristin Nelson is awesome! I follow her blog religiously. I actualy found you through her.
VonMalcolm says
I've done the mirror thing, but not as the lead. Would this be a no no too?
Charissa Weaks says
Oh, the dreaded beginning. The bane of my existence. :)I can honestly say that the only beginnings I've ever truly hated were simply boring. No action. If the writer is good, and the story is worthy, it can begin any way they like. For instance, one of my favorite authors opens nearly every novel with The Phone Call That Changed Everything. And it works because as a reader, I am thrust immediately into action and the moment of change. It keeps me hooked and turning pages. So..my advice? Don't lollygag around. Get to the nitty gritty.
K. Angello-Mayfield says
I bore easily. I try to write the way I desire to read. Usually inside the main characters head while he's thinking back to catch you up, like a new person at a school and the character wants you to feel humble and at home. I also do not understand the entire interior overdone. Is the carpet a substantial portion of the book? If not – get to the story! 🙂 Luckily they seem to appreciate my "boredom" 🙂
Lucy V Morgan says
I hate the "just another day at the office," approach. Character is just leaving and conveniently says goodbye to their colleagues/the secondary characters, who are all introduced. Then MC walks home, so we get the location described, and they arrive home, so we get their house described.
All of which is beyond DULL–and in terms of exposition, lazy.
VonMalcolm says
@4ndyman: I am trying to write some sci-fi stories featuring aliens with truly unique 'biologies', tech and worlds; but describing these worlds and how they came into being becomes very cumbersome! -Especially at the beginning of a story. I am trying to break things up, but I am not sure if I am succeeding!
Hillsy says
A pet peeve of mine is opening with something you can tell is designed to be eye-catching. I think it's just from reading so many writing tips that I just end up rolling my eyes.
The best openings I think feel like the intake of breath before you take the plunge. You know something is about to happen, but you have enough time to ground yourself…It's like the starting a story about a rollercoaster. Starting when they get on is too early, starting when they plunge down is too late. You need that moment of apprehension to really get the kick of the next part. That's why I'll always prefer a slow, well crafted opening every time
Kathryn Packer Roberts says
I have to echo a lot of the other sentiments. I can't stand an MC who is so snarky they can't be likeable. Please, I love a little sarcasm here and there, but when the character is overly depressed and mean it doesn't help me like them.
Also, a pet peeve of mine is when the writer starts off with dialogue but in between, and before you can get an answer from the other character, you are taken through paragraphS of back story or other context issues. A little it okay, and should probably be there at times, but to make me wait three or four paragraphs for an answer to the previous dialogue tag is obnoxious. And very cruel, too =)
MacLaney Blue says
If the first page is only the setting and description of characters, I have to force myself to continue reading. At least throw me a bone by starting with a powerful first sentence–unless, of course, the writer's voice is quirky and clever (like John Green). I do believe he could start a novel with his grocery list and keep me captivated.
Emily Strempler says
As well as the irritating dream sequence bit, which everyone else appears to have covered, I find it really annoying when a first person book opens with a self-introduction. It just never sounds natural. I understand why people do it, but it reads like a grade six autobiography project 90% of the time.
Robena Grant says
Truthfully, I don't care how the author starts a story, I just want an opening that shows me quickly who the main character is and why I should care enough to want to keep on reading.
Doug says
In addition to the above-mentioned weak openings…
I don't like unnamed characters — typically referred to only as "he" or "she".
I don't like a single-sentence paragraph as an opening. It's almost always either a teaser that's unrelated to the real opening, or has been separated from the rest of the paragraph just to try to give it a "punch" that it doesn't have.
I don't like openings that are focused on someone other than the protagonist, when that isn't made clear.
Mark Evans says
The mirror makes me cringe. It doesn't even have to be the opening. Anywhere in a book where a mirror is used for nothing more than describing appearance I end up groaning in displeasure.
Great post.
Ooh, just caught my reflection in the screen, and saw the blue of my eyes staring back under a flop of brown hair. LOL.
Steve Westover says
I did all 5 of these things in the first draft of one opening. None of them survived the cut.
I detest any kind of backstory dump but even more so at the beginning.
While we don't necessarily need a major explosion on page 1, some kind of conflict should be introduced. We must know the character and why we should care about what's happening.
Nathan, Congrats on your release!
D.G. Hudson says
Dead characters not revealed as such, and insufficient grounding annoy me. Why? They seem like gimmicks, and don't encourage the reader to trust the author.
Waking up and looking into a mirror have been overdone for centuries, well maybe decades — after mirrors were common. Waking up was a better starting point than going to sleep, unless the dream was the story. We aren't supposed to use dreams either. Yikes, so many prohibitions. . .
Perhaps now we should insert – protagonist awakes, checks his facebook account and pix to see what he looks like, checks twitter to ensure he still has friends, then logs onto his blog to see if anyone cares.
These are good points for openings, Nathan. Are there any closings to avoid as well? Ones that really annoy readers?
D.G. Hudson says
I'm not sure if 'ones' is a real word. Insert 'closings' in that previous comment. Hmmm, better have another coffee.
VonMalcolm says
Darn it, now I have to reread all of my beginnings! (Great post with interesting responses.)
Andrew Minnick says
I don't have as much of a problem with ungrouded dialogue as the others. It can be done well. it is not easy to do well.
Cathy Yardley says
Actually, D.G., I like the idea of someone commenting on his Facebook profile picture to describe himself. Or better, a Match.com picture that's out of date! 😀 Would not only say a lot about physical details, but shows what sort of person he is by what sort of picture he chose. 🙂
Justajo says
I never read the entire book and what I did read was some years ago, but didn't the first Harry Potter start out with two unfamiliar characters having an extended conversation on a street corner? But like you said, Nathan, some good books have started out these various ways. (OMG! Did I just say Harry Potter #1 is a good book?)
Lauren B. says
I've also gotten sick of the "memory of happier times" opening, either an outright flashback/description, or just the character looking wistfully at a photograph or trinket of their dead/estranged spouse/child.
Sean Thomas Fisher says
I don't like books that open with dreams, characters, descriptive settings, mirrors, dialogue, action, prologues, sighing, or hairbrushes. This is why I always open the books I write by skipping right to the middle.
Heather Davis says
Opening with the minutiae of everyday life is dull. We all know how to brush our teeth. I get it that the point is to make a contrast between "before" and the excitement to follow. Of course it is possible to make teeth brushing interesting – perhaps the mc scrubs each tooth individually with different brands of toothpaste and then is thrown into a situation where she must embrace chaos.
Craig Allen says
There is a story that Hemmingway agonized for days over the first sentence of The Old Man and the Sea. I have no idea if that's accurate, but it IS a masterful sentence that tells us a lot without using many words. Of course, this is the same man who claimed he could write an entire short story using just 6 words, and then wrote it…supposedly on a napkin.
~Renate says
So, how about five openings to treasure?
P. Kirby says
In YA, opening scene where the teen (usually female) is having some kind of snitty altercation with her parents, with eye rolls, tantrums, and usually a flounce off to her room. Followed by a call to her BFF where she complains about her parents. Mostly, I've seen in this in unpublished stuff that I've critiqued, but I think I've encountered it in a few published works as well.
Sam Wood says
Hm, but the same problem presents itself with analyzing your own Facebook photo. Most people don't think about their appearance in a narrative kind of detail. You might go, "My hair looks f-ing great in this picture," but you wouldn't think, "My hair is the color of golden wheat in this picture, flowing in great curls over my shoulders" because you already know what color your own hair is, unless you dye it all the time. I would only accept something like, "This was when my hair was blue. Gotta update it at some point."
And I don't know if this is just me, but I'm always jolted by the detailed use of trendy technology or slang. It INSTANTLY dates the work. Try reading anything about computers. Even a few years after publication I'm rolling my eyes. Yeah, you're a leet haxxor checking your hotmail, got it. And Friends is on TV, great. Your cell phone can send pictures, woowwwww.
Hollister Ann Grant says
My eyes roll back in my head when the author explains what the story is going to be about. Nooooooooo.