One of the corollaries of the “if only” game is that there are some writers out there who could not possibly have reason to worry about anything as they have achieved a level of success that is unsurpassed, and who represent the pinnacle of the writerly world.
Examples include King, Stephen; Rowling, J.K.; Meyer, Stephenie.
There’s a temptation to think that once an author has “made it” and made it bigger than anyone else, this author will have achieved boundless happiness and contentment and couldn’t have a thing to complain about.
In the comments of my recent “When Dreams Become Expectations” post, as Ermo pointed out, people tended to think of true satisfaction always being perennially elusive, unless you’re a Rowling and King. Then, it seems, people believe that would be completely satisfying.
I don’t know these mega-authors personally, but signs point to this not being the case. In the recent Oprah interview, Rowling said, “You ask about the pressure… At that point, I kept saying to people, ‘Yeah I’m coping…’ but the truth was there were times when I was barely hanging on by a thread.”
Not the sound of someone who feels like they have it made in the shade. I personally doubt Rowling would trade in her success and the sheer level of love for her books for anything, but I also don’t think there’s anyone who ever feels total and perfect contentment and satisfaction with their station. We keep striving no matter how high we’ve climbed, even those who have climbed the highest. Pressure can cut into satisfaction, and the spotlight can be uncomfortable.
It all reminds me of the speed of light (or at least my own understanding of the speed of light, which is likely wildly flawed). The way the physics of light works is that no matter how fast you personally are traveling, from your perspective a beam of light will still look like it’s traveling at the speed of light. You can’t travel alongside a beam of light. There’s no catching up.
And I think there’s actually something great about that. There will always be something to chase, always something to strive for, always another horizon to pursue. Who wants to be perfectly contented? Where’s the excitement in that? There will always be something great to chase around the bend.
Photo by Mila Zinkova via Creative Commons
I get what you are saying. There is always going to be a higher summit or something else to achieve. On the other hand I had a chance to meet Gordon Korman this week. He was published by his freshmen year of hs when he mailed his book into scholastic himself and how has 71 books in print. To me, while he still has writing to achieve, he has also surpassed my wildest dreams with his accomplishments. To me that guy and the guy who wrote Jacob Wonderbar are living it up on Easy St.
If there's nothing to reach for, there would not be a point in living. Imagine a life without goals, without hope and excitement. Nice speed-of-light metaphor. Great post, Nathan.
I think people sometimes forget that even those who have "made it" are still human. They have their own insecurities and issues that will keep them striving. And chasing that light is a good thing, otherwise after a point, we will just be stagnant.
absolutely brilliant. i couldn't agree more.
chris-
Ha – the street I live on is named after a fruit.
So true! What's the point of life if you're not working toward someting, striving to be a better person?
And, isn't the next book always in the back of your mind, anxiously waiting to get out?
I think you have to find a balance of being content and having that drive to keep wanting to go further. We seem to focus so much on what can be. It's hard to live in the moment and say "I'm happy with where I am right now." I'm not saying that you stop at that point, but learn to have moments where you can appreciate where you are. Then push forward to create even better work the next time.
If you haven't, Nathan, you should watch Millennium Actress.
Your statement about the speed of light is correct, btw.
But you're talking about two different things, though. Life and writing.
I think they have made it — not in terms of life itself, because life, no matter who you are, is very messy. Confidence ebbs and flows. Relationships are tough.
But in terms of the book industry, they've made it. My definition of making it would be if, no matter what you wrote, someone would publish it, fervently, and give it a huge marketing campaign, without even knowing what it was about. And readers would make it an instant best-seller, too, again, without even having to know what it was about. So by that definition, yes, they've "made it."
I don't follow the connection between contentment and the absence of aspiration. I have goals I have not achieved, but that does not make me discontent. I have a great wife, a great home, and a great job. I work hard, treat my neighbor well, and have fun with friends. This is a terrific life.
I'll still find things to complain about. 🙂 And I will always have a new goal to work toward, even if I'm a trillionaire.
As Langhorme Slim sings: "You've got to learn to get happy along the way."
If the end goal is the only place you think you will be happy, you will always be miserable.
And this is why I sometimes imagine my life is being written by an unseen author. There is no story without conflict, escalation of the stakes, and a goal to chase, even among the "greats." We all have something to fight and something to lose.
Lately, I think my imaginary author's been watching too many soap operas…
There's a difference between…
Contentment: Being able to do what you love for a living and pay the bills with it, not having to force yourself to get up in sickness and pain and do a job that is thankless and filled with people who could care less you exist.
and…
Aspiration: I have several ideas for books that could have sequels assigned to them. I get inspired by a lamp in an antique store. I constantly find things to write about, even while writing about other things, but am focused to see those things through.
I see your point, but being able to live your dream, and just stare at it are two different things.
I received a positive reply to a query the other day and put all of the work in question together, submitted it, and then proceeded to chew at my fingertips until I couldn't type. Unfortunately, the response that I received was a quick rejection. However, it was the first time that I made it to that step.
Honestly Nathan, if it hadn't been for my constant stalking of your blog and pilfering your great advice, I may have just sulked about the experience, possibly gave up. Instead I am still celebrating my almost not a rejection and I am using it to charge my writing forward in a stronger direction. Basically, in my own delusional way I feel as though temporarily I have it made. I made that first step.
Like many others that read along with me HOOKED ON PHONICS didn't work. We prefer HOOKED ON NATHAN.
Thank you for always keeping it in perspective.
Isn't it a relief to know that "making it" is only temporary?
How many times have I wiggled out of my sleeping bag while I could still see my breath, and hiked to the base of a climb with my gear clacking around on my harness like I've been badly costumed for a futuristic hula, and finally flopped down on the endless slab hours later with one side of my body sunburned and my lips so chapped I can't smile? Well, more than a few. And, my God, it feels so good every time I make it.
I love the speed-of-light metaphor. It rings true for me.
I tend to dreaam it up with "if only" alot, but I always come back to the things I always wanted and have already gotten, and how the happiness spike always came back down (I think you've addressed this in another post).
When I was a girl, I always thought, "When I get married, then I'll be happy."
And I got married. And yes I'm happy, but life didn't stop, and I didn't achieve some sort of nirvana.
Then I said, "If only we can get our own apartment, then I'll be happy."
So we got our own apartment. And I'm happy. But life didn't stop, and I didn't achieve some fairytale state-of-mind.
So now when I find myself saying, "When we buy a house… when we have a baby… when I get published… then I'll be happy," I try to remember how life doesn't stop, and I'll never have a perpetually blissed out state of mind.
And how that's okay.
Great post, as per usual. LOVELY having you back!
Good post! I think many writers "lose their way" in the quest to achieve "Rowling-greatness" as opposed to being happy in their own achievements.
I'm happy that I've been published at all. I'm 21 yrs old with "professional" publications. No, that doesn't make me a Stephen King but it does make me happy that when I put my mind to something and work really hard, I can succeed. (Even a small success is a success worthy of feeling good about!)
This is a great point. I find myself looking up to others as if their life is perfect. I think we'd be better off, happier at least, if we'd look back at where we've been, as well as those who do not have all we have. We always want what we don't have rather than appreciating how fortunate we are.
I would think, for me, having "made it" would add it's own pressure. Sure, I'd likely always be able to find an agent/publishing house to pimp my work…but at that point you no longer have to strive to get to the top, you have to fight like hell to stay there.
At that point, critics and fans alike are going to be seeing if you can capture your magic again. Lots and lots of pressure! I still wouldn't mind experiencing it for myself though.
We all make choices in life which affect what we perceive as success. It depends on what is most important to each of us — fame, family, money, love, career, etc.
The only trouble is success as we 'envision' it isn't always the success we achieve.
I find it hard to be sympathetic to very successful people who whine about their privacy, or media attention. Fame comes with a price tag, as does many of our 'wants'. What a person chooses to sacrifice for these goals will indicate what's really important to them.
Interesting post, Nathan.
No matter how much success we achieve in the eyes of the world, we always have the challenge of writing the very best book we can possibly write. That book is always the next one, never one that's already finished.
I like your perspective! It's so true – things get boring when you become content.
I guess a good example of what you say is Dennis Lehane, who started in crime fiction (Kenzie series)…to move on to more of a literary drama (Mystic River/Shutter Island, with crime/noir influence still) and now with a full blown literary epic "The Given Day"
Am I understanding this properly?
Zen post… but, I've just come home from yoga. Yes, I agree, but wouldn't it be cool to have the power to promote reading at the level of King, Rowling, and Meyer? Yes, I'm writer, but more importantly I'm a lover of books. I'd be psyched to influence the masses, but I realize that I need to create my own happiness and try to respect the journey (Notice what hot yoga does for me? I'm so relaxed, for a change.) Thanks!
King is a bad example IMO. Any author who has made a cameo on Sons of Anarchy as a biker who specializes in body disposal has "made it" in spades.
I can definitely see what Ms. Rowling meant by the pressure she was under. When your star climbs that high, you don't only have the expectation of those who expect (read: demand) the next book to be bigger and better. but the eager snapping jaws of those waiting to shred it for the smallest fault – real or otherwise.
That's the point they cease to be merely writers and become brands. Others can glom on and grab a little fame just by trying to defame someone who's work is well known and well liked.
There is no "it" to make. There are levels, and within those levels their are tiers.
You can climb from one to the other, and you can fall back into one you've left, but so long as there is the desire to push forward and create, you never get to "it".
Even if you die at the pinnacle of your personal success, someone else can surpass that level, and though that might be their own "it", once they get there, they'll realize they haven't reached the end of anything.
That's why records continue to be broken – there's always an exceptional someone out there who will blow through them.
Besides that, "it" is completely subjective. Is "it" monetary success? Is "it" winning a Pulitzer? Is "it" writing the definitive novel of a generation? Is "it landing on the high school reading list of every public school nationwide (or perhaps their banned list)?
I hope Sherry Lewis will forgive me for this:
This is the goal that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends.
Some people starting seeking it – thought hey knew what it was.
And they'll continue seeking it forever just because…
This is the goal that never ends…
You can watch the whole JK Rowling and Oprah interview here:
https://video.the-leaky-cauldron.org/video/1629
Rowling makes a few comments to what it's been like dealing with her success. One, she compares her sudden fame to "like being a Beatle", except that there were four Beatles to lean on each other, and she only had herself, so it was really stressful. Two, that having come from a life of poverty, even though she's the world's richest author she still worries about money.
And three, she says that in the first book, Dumbledore says the happiest man in the world would look into the mirror and see only himself… and she feels she's pretty close.
Everyone will have stresses, of course, and future goals and aspirations, but they're not bad things as long as you can be happy with where you currently are, at the same time.
Personally, I would never want Rowling's career. All the baggage that goes along with having all that money and fame… no thanks. I'd rather make enough to live comfortably, to be able to make a career out of it. Sure, there'll be worries about whether the next book will sell, etc. But I'd prefer that to being stalked by paparazzi.
I'll admit, there are times when I've thought something along the lines of "Golly, they've got it good." and then wondered why I thought that…
I've long since realized that I will be content even if none of my work gets published. I am but a writer and a writer I shall remain regardless of what comes of my work. And I will be content in this.
No longer having a goal is a sad place to be. When I got my black belt in TKD recently, I was on cloud nine, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew I'd have to find a new goal.
I do envy the authors who have made it, but I don't assume they are content with what they've achieved. Anyone who have achieved any kind of success has a drive and need to work. Take away a worthwhile reason for their drive, and they won't know what to do with themselves.
It seems to me that stress would rise as success rises. People who achieve Rowling, King, Meyer status are EXPECTED to continually perform at their utter best. In fact, they are expected to surpass their best with each new work. I would imagine that would be horribly stressful.
Can you imagine if King produced a work that was just plain awful? I mean so awful that even his most devout fans would have to admit his talent might have peaked. I would imagine it would be as devastating and career damaging as when Michael Jordan decided he wanted to play baseball.
For me, there's a big difference between feeling satisfied in achieving a goal, and feeling universally satisfied. As long as I'm breathing, I'll always believe the latter is impossible. But I accomplish the former every day.
I guess most writers are passionate almost to a fault and the drive to succeed is so powerful I can only assume it's impossible to turn off like a light switch. I can see where the highlight of their fame can feel surreal and perhaps something they cannot embrace all together. Each book produce by such authors only lasts so long on the book lists, then the world waits to see what happens next. Contentment in the literary world seems to be ephemeral like everything else.
(Nathan, the post on my blog today is concerning a certain author who wrote a certain book that we agreed to disagree on. Just saying 😉
Great post.
"Someday, when I'm famous . . ." is the name of my blog. Of course I meant it as a joke, but it's fun to pretend what could happen if I were ever to become a famous author. Usually it runs along the lines of, "Someday, when I'm famous, I'll live in a house with more than one bathroom." Yeah – I dream big.
But yikes! I would *not* want to be Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, or Stephenie Meyer. Success isn't all good. Just give me an agent, a publisher, a decent following, and time to write each day. I'd prefer NOT to have the negative fame.
Spoken like a true aspirant still on the nether side of 50 and still climbing the hill of life.
Ah, to be so young again …
Very true. It's also worth remembering that poor Stephanie Meyer is absolutely hated by a lot of people and there is some really nasty stuff levelled at her. I'm sure her riches more than make up for this but still, that's not nice. All three of those authors have some strong critics out there, and I bet even after all that success – and even bearing in mind you're never going to please everybody – knowing some people hate your stuff that much can't be pleasant.
If you started a cult, I would totally follow you…wait, is that what's happening?
Awesome post!
Oh Nathan, I heart you. And yes, when people love those books it makes things a lot less bizarre and a lot more interesting at the same time. I guess whether or not the emperor is wearing new clothes is in the eye of the beholder. Some readers see the beautiful garments, and some people are shocked at how flaccid and doughy he looks in his birthday suit. I'm going to give the emperor's other books a try. I heard he wore garments to be admired there too.
You actually can catch up to the speed of light, you just cannot surpass it.
I think this blog demonstrates that Nathan already is a cult leader. I completely agree and follow the 'it's the journey, not the destination' line of thinking. I've felt happy and fortunate while pursuing various dreams over the years. Each time I attain a dream goal, I choose another because if I'm not stretching myself and growing, I feel stagnant. Great post!
Interesting. I used to interview high achievers in all kinds of fields – sporting, artistic, business, creative. And one quality the very top people shared was that they never rested on their laurels.
I'm not really an Oprah fan, but that interview with Rowling was pretty great. In addition to her talking about the pressure she felt, I really loved it when she said something to the effect of: "I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself, but the one thing I knew I could do was tell a story." That's a writer.
No matter how much success these writers achieve, they're always going to carry some insecurity, some deficit. King complains that no one ever asks him about "the language," and in many circles he'll never be given the respect he deserves. Same for Rowling. Some look at her success and say "so what, she's just a kids' author." No one's ever going to be loved, admired, and respected in every circle (except Nathan of course).
"Making it" really is an illusion. You have to define it for yourself and be prepared to redefine it constantly. Today "making it" is making my 2000 words. Next month "making it" is finishing a novel in 4 weeks.
The one immutable law of the universe is change, and that means changing what each of us means by "making it" word by word, day by day, book by book.
I think she means pressure as in, "The next HP book better be awesome or the mobs will kill me." I don't think she means pressure as in, "Will I sell another book? Will I be able to pay the rent?"
I'm sure she has aspirations in life. I think we all have those until we die, but as far as the book publishing industry goes, I'd say she's definitely made it.
When you think of all the people who try for years and still don't sell a book, or sell a book but it goes by largely unnoticed, it's hard to think of these caliber of writers, like Rowling and King, as not having "made it". At least professionally, they have.
Maybe their personal lives are a mess or maybe they have a host of other problems, but if you're strictly talking publishing, I think it's safe to say they're good.
This reminds me of the "30 Rock" episode. Liz Lemon considers quitting her job when she meets a bunch of women in her building who spend days taking yoga and getting pedicures. After a few days of bliss, LIz discovers the women beat one another up to feel alive again.
We must always strive to feel alive. Coasting is stagnating.
Great post, Nathan, and one that has universal application regardless of one's vocation. The verb "striving," can be dangerous, because it is very close to "chasing," as though we're a hampster trying to get to the end of our wheel. Contentment, on the other hand, gets a bad rap… as though it means complacent or apathetic. But I believe contentment can take on a broader, richer meaning, because the ultimate contentment–at the end of a day's work or the completion of a book or other project–is inherently coupled with a desire to reach that state again.
I've known many people who've "made it" in various industries (mostly show biz though), and I've got to say that several who made it to the top of their field continued to carry with them those same neurotic securities that drove them to achieve that success in the first place. THE most successful are sometimes THE most messed up.
I learned a long time ago no matter how great (or how badly) I'm doing there's ALWAYS someone who's doing better and ALWAYS someone who's doing worse. Wishing I could be in his/her shoes (the better, not the worse) is a waste of my time when I could be working on being the best I can be. When I achieve MY best and feel good about myself…I've found my personal success.
I learned a long time ago no matter how great (or how badly) I'm doing there's ALWAYS someone who's doing better and ALWAYS someone who's doing worse. Wishing I could be in his/her shoes (the better, not the worse) is a waste of my time when I could be working on being the best I can be. When I achieve MY best and feel good about myself…I've found my personal success.
Love the photo! 'Just a walk in the park, you said. You forgot to mention it's a NATIONAL park, and this part is tilted at nearly ninety degrees!'
But seriously, Nathan, you're right. It's not enough that I achieve a level of success that is unsurpassed, boundless happiness and contentment, and true satisfaction. EVERYONE ELSE MUST FAIL!
Just as well we can't travel as fast as light. Think of the jetlag THAT would produce.
What do people do when they've made it? They start making another one.