Confession time: I got a book deal. For a novel. My own.
Background.
I never started this blog, nor did I become a literary agent, because I wanted to be a writer. When I started as an assistant at Curtis Brown in 2002 I had some vague notions that I might write a screenplay… or something… someday… maybe… but that was quickly consumed by the more-than-full-time job of being an assistant and trying to work my way up in the publishing world.
I started the blog because being a literary agent is not only my job, it’s a true passion, and I wanted to both help out the unpublished and try to differentiate myself from the scores of other agents out there. Not, let me say again, because I thought of myself as a writer or had any designs on being one.
Fast forward to October 2008. The publishing industry and broader economy was in total meltdown apocalyptic mode, the whole country was stressed out about the election, and I had this idea for a novel… what better time to write a novel, right???
So, over the next several months, over late nights and weekends, I wrote a middle grade science fiction novel called JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW, about three kids who trade a corndog for a spaceship, blast off into space, accidentally break the universe, and have to find their way back home.
(And yes, San Francisco residents: Jacob’s namesake is the completely delicious Philz coffee brew).
Whew! Finished it!
Then I had to find an agent. And no, I couldn’t represent myself.
I sent out my queries, got my share of rejections, stressed plenty, but found my way to the awesome Catherine Drayton at Inkwell, who, to my extreme delight, agreed to take it on. (Why not Curtis Brown? I wouldn’t have wanted it to be awkward for my coworkers when I devolve into an unrepentant diva.)
Then came the submission process, where I… also got my share of rejections.
But then. Then! The clouds parted, the light shone through, and Dial Books for Young Readers at Penguin agreed to publish it. JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW will come out in 2011.
Now. Let me try to preempt a few questions that will be on the lips of many an anonymous commenter:
Did you have an advantage being a literary agent?
Yes. Are you kidding me? Yes.
I have been eating, breathing, sleeping, inhaling, and ingesting books basically nonstop, 24/7, for seven years. It’s my day and night job. I’ve seen tens of thousands of query letters, and I (hopefully) know what makes a good one. I’ve been working with some of the most talented writers in the world and have had to think extremely hard about writing and plot and all the other elements that go into a book.
But before I’m held up as an example of all that is wrong with publishing these days, please consider the following:
This wasn’t actually the first novel I have written or tried to have published. Like many writers out there, the first novel I wrote (deservedly) crashed and burned. Couldn’t find an agent and justifiably so. Because it wasn’t good enough. Like many people, I had to experience the pain of giving up on it, putting it in the drawer, and battling a serious case of the “Am I crazies” when I decided to start another one.
So… if all it took to find a publisher was being a literary agent and having a blog: you would have been hearing me announce a deal for that novel.
Let me also just point out that whatever advantage I have as a publishing employee is completely open to everyone: you just have to find a job in publishing, toil away for seven years in the industry, steadily gain everyone’s confidence, and then write in your spare time.
Trust me, there are easier ways of getting a leg up.
But it’s not really a coincidence or a sign of inside dealing that there are so many agents and editors who write: they’ve already devoted their lives to books because they love them dearly. Of course some of them then decide to write themselves.
Are you giving up agenting?
Uh……………. No.
Let me elaborate: No. No no no no no no.
I’m first an agent. That’s my job. This novel is just a fun side project. My clients and prospective clients always come first. I made it a point of pride that my response times never, ever suffered as I was working on my own projects. Not for queries, not for partials, and especially not for my clients.
If anything, going through the publication process has made me a much more empathetic agent. I thought I would be totally cool throughout the process… I’ve seen this before! I know what it’s like! Yeah, not so much. I learned a huge amount and have (I hope) become a better agent for it.
Will this blog be changing into a vehicle for relentless, egotistical self-promotion over the next two years (god, I’m going to have to hear about Nathan’s freaking novel nonstop for TWO YEARS someone please just go ahead and kill me now)?
Absolutely!!!!!!!!
(Just kidding).
Anyway, hope this explains why I’ve been so sentimental on the blog lately. This has been quite a roller coaster of a process, and I’ve been feeling the ups and downs of the writing life very keenly over the last year.
Thanks so much for reading this blog and for all of your great comments. I really can’t even express just how much I’ve learned from all of you.
Yea! You are amazing. i love this blog and your attitude. Good luck with the book! I have an agent, but I'm kind of sorry it's not you!!!
Nathan, that's brilliant news! The book sounds right up my ally.
I'm also excited because I can now say I have the same agent as Nathan Bransford. What strange times 🙂
Katherine
I have to jump in and not mind my own business here. I don't seem to understand the problem with Nathan being a published author. And for the person that said you queried him in part because you felt he lacked creative powers, is that because you feel your book lacks creativity and he would be okay with that??? I think it only makes him better, he can see it from all angles and maybe even possibly be able to be a bit more open. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but shouldn't we also try to be happy for others who have success? If he was just another poster on this blog saying he had just got a deal would you also be munching on those sour grapes?
Also if he does decide to quit being an agent to become a full time diva writer 🙂 well isn't that up to him? I am fairly sure he is over 18. True it would be sad because I have heard great things about him as an agent and there would be some people sad but ya know what, at the end of the day it's still HIS choice and the people he represents I am sure he would point them into another agents direction.
So since everyone is entitled to their opinions I think yall that are munching on the sour grapes need to go grab a corn dog and eat that.
have a great day and again….
GOOD LUCK NATHAN!
I was just happy to have another book out there from which to choose. But I guess that's just as selfish as not wanting an agent to have any success in anything buy agenting. By the way, I wrote the text for a picture book and never told anyone until I was talking to an agent who was inerested in it. It didn't end up getting picked up, and I kind of wish I hadn't even shared it when I did. I bet there are a lot of writers out there who don't announce that they're writing with hopes of being published.
Congratulations! Jacob Wonderbar sounds like and exciting story, and I cannot wait to purchase a copy for my son, Jacob.
Woo-hoo!
Congratulations! You are a beautiful writer on your blog, so I, for one, am an insta-buyer. I love children's book and I love your voice–it's gotta be good! 🙂
Holy Kapow! Congratulations Nathan!! Sounds like a great story!
Nathan publishing a novel?
Just like a good plot twist:
Logical but unexpected.
Leigha, you've completely missed the point I was trying to make – nevertheless, to each his own. If you want to spend ten years or more of your life teaching yourself how to write fiction, and then develop a relationship with an agent who is actively pursuing other interests, then that's completely up to you.
What I never mentioned however (mostly because I thought it was so obvious) was that when an agent crosses over like this there's an obvious conflict of interest.
I can only assume that the publishing company that will be publishing Mr. Bransford's novel is going to be paying him? So now you have an agent on the payroll of a publishing company?
It shocks me that people here are fine with that.
I'm not.
This is for personal reasons, and also because I don't think it's good for publishing in general. (That's an understatement, actually.)
And Rhonda, you completely ignored the arguments I presented – completely – and instead just said that I was 'being selfish' (that's got nothing to do with it). You're sniping at me. Sorry, but you are. I probably shouldn't respond to your comment, but I presented my arguments in a reasonable manner, and there was no reason for you to take a pot-shot at me like that. Sorry if I'm sounding a bit rough about this, but I really dislike being called 'selfish' when that's not the issue here.
Congratulations, Nathan! I look forward to reading your book and handselling it at my bookstore. (And if there are advance reading copies, I hope one comes to my store.)
Gosh, you don't need another comment, but I'm so happy for you. Congrats.
anon-
Really not sure where you're going with that. I honestly can't imagine a situation where there would be any conflict, particularly since I don't represent middle grade science fiction.
I'm not the first person in publishing to write a book – if you decide you don't want to work with every writer in the publishing business, public and private, you're going to be left with a pretty small pool.
Perhaps if SOME PEOPLE worked a little bit harder on THEIR NOVELS and a little LESS HARD on getting their PANTIES IN A BUNCH re: the totally deserved success of OTHER PEOPLE they might have agents and book deals, too. Congratulations, Nathan!
How DARE you, sir?* How dare you use your talents in literature and publishing to entertain and enhance the lives of innocent children!
I’m glad that there are ten or twelve individuals who, like myself, can see this charade for what it really is. A well-crafted plot against writers everywhere!
Oh sure, you claim to have paid your dues working in the publishing industry for the better part of a decade. Oh sure, your first novel failed (you likely planned it that way to garner sympathy from many failed writers who have had to deal with vicious and evil literary agents wishing to eek out a decent living by discovering new talent and promoting it). Oh sure, you’ve labored for years blogging thousands of articles, comments and links that are helpful to writers.
But I’m certain it was all a Stygian plan to market your novel (because so many midgrade readers follow this blog). Well I’ve got an insidious scheme of my own. I’m going to buy your book when it comes out. I’ll suggest that others purchase it as well. And I’m going to continue to spread the word about your blog so that many other writers can get published and compete with you. Ha. Then you’ll be sorry. Take that!
I hope you get exactly what you deserve!**
– SJP
* any expressed opinions associated with my actual opinions are purely fictional.
** I do hope you get what you deserve. Unbridled success!
"Perhaps if SOME PEOPLE worked a little bit harder on THEIR NOVELS and a little LESS HARD on getting their PANTIES IN A BUNCH re: the totally deserved success of OTHER PEOPLE they might have agents and book deals, too. Congratulations, Nathan!"
This has nothing to do with anything that I've written so far.
Okay, but just so you know, I've spent well over a decade living in poverty so that I can spend my every waking moment either writing, reading, or thinking about fiction.
I've made more sacrifices than I care to imagine.
I'll try to work harder, though, if you think it will help.
I know I'm late to the punch. But congratulations, Nathan!
I'm trying to figure out the conflict of interest angle…somebody help me here…because I'm not seeing it.
And by the way, a writer is not an "employee" of a publisher.
Other Lisa, aren't you one of Mr. Bransford's clients?
You're a new client of his, aren't you?
Lisa – the potential conflict of interest might be, for example: Nathan tries to sell a client's book to Nathan's own publisher: Penguin.
Given that Nathan would not sell a book in MA SF, it's a stretch, but not completely out of the ballpark.
For example, Nathan could approach Penguin with all offers first, do dealing behind the scenes, etc.
Which, I want to point out, Michael, Nathan could do anyway. All agents can wheel and deal and make backroom deals that serve their own agendas more than their clients.
You didn't think Nathan would be unethical before. The situation has not changed. He is still – quite obviously – an ethical person.
Also, and Michael, this is important to remember: the networking and relationships that Nathan develops at Penguin could benefit his clients, not hurt them.
Yes, I am a client. Not a particularly new one at this point. So I think I can speak to whether this is as an issue for clients.
Trust me. It isn't, except in the most positive sense.
Other Lisa, that's not what I meant.
I meant that you have no objectivity here.
It would be naive of me to believe that one of Mr. Bransford's own clients is going to remain nonpartisan in any discussion about his conduct.
Yeah, I guess that could happen in an extreme case.
Not only are the "conflict of interest" posts wide of the mark, I think it would be tragic for you not to represent Middle Grade Science Fiction, or any other genre you held an interest in, or had expertise in.
If you wrote a memoir, would you not be able to represent memoirs?
I'm new to this industry, but I know what conflict of interest means – it means you get some kind of monetary kickback for abusing your position.
Nathan – not only are you clearly an ethical person, but I don't even see where the conflict comes in.
Keep up the great work that you do!
Michael Younger and other "Anons" Unite!
You wrote: Literary agents have all these rules that we, the unpublished novelists, are supposed to follow. Why is it that they never follow any of ours?
Let's say we publish those!
1. No literary agents may publish novels. Heck, no books or magazine articles either. It's bad enough they're getting 15% for their efforts.
2. No professional athletes should become coaches or announcers in the sports they've participated in. It's just not fair!
3. No military men (or women) can get into either private security or law enforcement. They're BIASED!
4. No actors should ever become producers or directors….talk about having an "inside track!"
5. There must be no height or weight restrictions on jockeys, models or body builders. Let's be FAIR!
Are we agreed?
I only wish Leonardo DaVinci wasn't around for us to keep in line!
MY,
You are obviously a sharp-witted man with a unique dry humor (that most people miss), and you write well.
As crazy as this might sound, I believe that you are extremely talented, but frustrated and pounding on immovable walls.
I also believe that anyone who has sacrificed ten years of his life for his art and is as intelligent as your many anonymous postings prove to me you are (yes, I have recognized your voice) – that you will succeed – IF – you do not become embittered and distracted by … well … this kind of stuff.
Seriously. Let this go. Not because I don't agree with you, but because this-doesn't-matter in regards to your life.
If you spend your time railing at the injustices in the world and at the real or perceived flaws in the publishing industry, you will never finish your breakthrough novel.
Personally, I would be both encouraged and happy to be buying your novel one day. I’d like to hear what you have to say – and I’m certain I’d enjoy how you say it.
May I ask: What do you write?
And for the record: No, I am not MY pretending be another anon. – as we all know he has been known to do in the past. 8)
And because so much can be lost in translation, I want to be clear that I am not being mean spirited.
Awesome! Just saw the PM announcement and realized it's been a while since I've been over here. Congratulations. I can't wait to read it!!
anon @ 9:46-
How many professional athletes do you know coach? Not former pros- I mean while they're still active. And I don't mean workshops either, I mean actual serious coaching.
The answer? I'm betting not a lot. You know why? Because being a pro athlete requires you devote all your time and energy into your own training. You don't have anything left to give to other people.
That's why we have coaches: people who have either given up on their sporting dreams or never had one in the first place. They don't need to invest anything in themselves, so they're able to focus on other people. They put all their energy into making their athletes better, just like athletes put all their energy into making themselves better.
Now, this is where I have a problem with writers doing other things.
(NOTE: This isn't really directed at NB, it's more a general rant.)
Maybe I'm just a romantic, but like Michael Younger I always thought writers were supposed to sacrifice everything for their art- you know, live it and breathe it, blah blah blah. I thought that to be a good writer you had to throw everything else away. Like somehow that would make your writing more potent. I guess I was wrong, though, cos even when I did that my novel still turned out crap 😉 but it's just a bit disappointing when you realise how little it matters, you know? It'd be like devoting your whole life to God only to end up getting sent to Hell anyway.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wish you more sensible writers would try to understand how people like me and Michael Younger (sorry to be presumptuous!) feel when things like this happen. To go back to the Christian analogy, it'd be like said devoted person looking up from the flames of Hell to see a gay Wiccan floating up above with a VIP pass to one of Jesus' awesome Friday night parties. I mean, the Wiccan gets to have fun in their life AND afterlife while you went ahead like an idiot and wasted 85 years singing hymns and going to church? **** that!
Not that I'm saying anyone here is a gay Wiccan.
What I mean is, while I think NB has every right to be happy and proud of getting published I don't see why it's so bad for the less fortunate among us to be a bit bitter about it. Jealousy's part of human nature, you know? Some of the comments here just make me feel like I walked straight onto the set of The Stepford Wives.
I know a lot of agents publish. Ted Malawer, Deirdre Knight, Lucienne Driver, among others. And Nathan's great for admitting that being an agent gives a huge advantage (I LOL'd reading a post claiming that LD had no advantage when it came to publishing her novel).
People are entitled to their own opinions about fairness, etc.
Although I realize agents love books and it's only natural many of them would become writers themselves, well… I personally wouldn't want an agent who also is an author. It's not out of fear my great idea would appear in their text or something, just because… I don't know. Bad taste in my mouth, too, I guess.
Congrats anyway. You have a great platform and I'm certain you'll sell well.
And btw– I agree with anon above my anon comment. There is something a little Stepford in the air here.
OMG! I just started following your blog recently and went into a complete spazz of excitement for you when I read this. It is SO exciting that you got a deal on your book!
But I have a small question. Some of my friends don't understand why you got an agent for your book when you're probably totally set on representing yourself. Could you maybe explain that so I could try doing so to them?
Really, congrats on your book deal! I hope to be saying the same soon, but, meanwhile, I find myself literally jumping up and down with joy. Awesome job! I don't usually read that genre, but you really got me interested with your summary, and I can't wait to check it out!
I still think you are akin to King Solomon. You give a wise response even when people hurl the little green monster that sits on shoulders at you.
Congratulations on your success, Nathan. Anyone who works as hard as you do and still makes time to become a successful author deserves respect and praise.
BRAVO to you! You INSPIRE others, including me. Thank you for all you give. You're a very good person. 🙂
Linda the Skeptic
Congratulations a million times! Thanks for sharing the joy and enthusiasm. It is wonderful.
Isn't King Solomon the guy who got smited by God for whoring around with women all the time? I guess that's not an entirely bad thing, but still.
Stepford? Really?
If you folks are regular readers of this blog, you most likely have noticed that Nathan seems to be an all-around good guy.
Good guy has good news; people are happy for him. That's how most folks react. I think it's sad if you find that creepy.
LindaBudz, I'm not saying NB isn't a good guy. I'm also not saying that it's "creepy" for people to be happy for him; I just find it odd that there's hardly anyone that admits to feeling a bit of sour grapes, that's all. If your best friend managed to score a really good promotion while you were still stuck in the same mediocre job you'd had for years and years are you telling me you wouldn't feel the tiniest bit bitter about it? It doesn't mean you think any worse of your friend or their achievement. It's just how you'd feel.
Obviously in a real life situation you wouldn't go ranting to your friend about how jealous you were, but this isn't real life! It's the internet. It's a public forum, really. And as a public forum I think we should be allowed some discussion and debate here. I'm not belittling anyone or putting anyone down. I'm just stating an opinion. If this comments section isn't meant for opinions, what is it meant for? NB can always just delete my comments if he thinks they're inappropriate, anyway.
I will admit my Stepford comment was a little out of line, though, so I do apologize for that.
I'm late- but still wanted to say congratulations Nathan. I wish YA fiction had been this exciting when I was 12. Have big fun and tell all about it!
Anon,
Why is the internet any less real? The people you're talking to, I'm pretty sure, are just as real as they are in "real life". Comments are just as hurtful. The only difference is that people don't always have to stand up and take responsibility for their comments online. And I don't mean this as an accusation, but just as an indicator of the false distancing that takes place, a mental mapping that allows a sort of depersonalization of communication.
And I'm guessing that a lot of people probably had the thought "When's my turn coming?" when hearing this news. But does really have anything to do with Nathan? That seems, to me, to be a product of internal concerns and frustrations. And this doesn't negate honest happiness and excitement, either. And why wouldn't people express that?
If someone feels bitter… well, fine. If that's their honest emotional reaction then that's what it is. Is there a point in sharing it, however? Remember, now, these are real people… there's no fake life where nothing really matters, and all comments are retractable with a takeback. There are no weightless comments.
If you have concerns about some aspects of the situation, sure, discuss it. Everyone's welcome to their own opinion, say, on whether there's a conflict of interest. I don't see the logic, personally, in the argument. Or, say, the idea that Nathan necessarily has some unwritten full disclosure pact with his readers simply because we read his blog. That seems an untenable position to me, as I believe quite strongly in the right to privacy and the right of an individual to live their life in a manner of their own choosing. Or perhaps the notion is the romanticized idea that writers must give up everything else to write well, or that they would give up everything if they had the chance to do so… which seems a little distant from the practical reality that most professional writers have to have a day job, and many would choose to even if it such a thing were not required. There's more to life than writing, and, I dare say, that "moreness" often feeds good writing rather than diminishes it.
Anyway, I just think it's important not to gloss things with distorting labels – "it's not real life". But this is as real as anything. You and Nathan and the other people commenting on this blog are as real as the person who just walked in my door. I think comments should reflect that. Open and honest discussion is still personal discussion. It's real.
Anyway, just my two cents on these topics.
My best,
Bryan
Bryan – hear, hear! Wow, really nicely written.
I only disagree about one thing. There are ways to tell someone your honest feelings without necessarily hurting theirs.
Part of it is timing. If a friend tells me wonderful news, I will push all other feelings to the side, and find genuine feelings of happiness to express. This is their time to feel joy, and as a friend, I'll support that.
Later. If I can't work the feelings through on my own, to keep things honest, I'll tell them the other stuff. "I'm glad this happened to you, but I'm having a hard time because of my stuff."
So, later. But not necessarily never. If you keep important things buried forever, the relationship goes silent and off. That's true with a friend, or any on-going relationship. It's also true with writers, period. Writers need to tell the truth.
So, I sort of agree with anon in a sense, and I'm glad he brought the issue up, but I think it's partly the timing.
And yes, I know I'm way over my quota of posting. So before anyone decides to be honest and tell me that – I know!
"Why is the internet any less real? The people you're talking to, I'm pretty sure, are just as real as they are in "real life". Comments are just as hurtful. The only difference is that people don't always have to stand up and take responsibility for their comments online. And I don't mean this as an accusation, but just as an indicator of the false distancing that takes place, a mental mapping that allows a sort of depersonalization of communication."
Bryan, you said this so well…I wish everyone understood this concept. You are my hero for the day. 🙂
"Maybe I'm just a romantic, but like Michael Younger I always thought writers were supposed to sacrifice everything for their art- you know, live it and breathe it, blah blah blah. I thought that to be a good writer you had to throw everything else away. Like somehow that would make your writing more potent."
Like any other profession, writing requires discipline. So sometimes, yes, you do have to sacrifice other things (like, oh, a social life most of the time) to focus on the writing. But most writers have day jobs – we can't afford anything else. Which means 40 plus hour workweeks. It's also important to take time to exercise – healthy body, healthy mind and all that. Eating is good too. The whole notion of a starving artist, giving up all for his/her art is archaic and impractical. I personally write much better if I'm happy and healthy.
Okay, Nathan, you can come out of your garret now. Here are your crackers. Now get back to your writing!
Mira,
I'm perfectly fine with honest discussion, I just think there is a tactful way to do it, a way in which you take into consideration the feelings of the people engaged in the discussion. There's a human reality to every such situation.
And if you're bitter at someone else's success, I really don't think that has much to do with them. There's a difference between repression and forcing your emotional concerns on others (and I'm speaking abstractly here and not to anyone posting, if that's not already clear).
For instance, if a friend gets a book deal and I don't, and this bothers me a bit… do I tell them? I don't see why, unless those feelings are interfering with the relationship and causing subsidiary problems. Why burden them in that way? In this case, I can't see how that reason would be valid. We read Nathan's blog. If some of us were to be upset by this news, well, we don't have to read the blog. I don't think we have to decry his integrity merely on account of his success, and only for our own personal reasons. I think people can disagree in a non-hurtful way without personal or professional degradations.
Just my two cents again. Oh, okay, maybe that was three. I'm a big spender.
Bryan
Dana,
That sounds like a song! Hero for a day… I keep thinking of that song for one of the Spiderman movies, the one by Chad Kroeger. Now I'll have to listen to it. Oh, youtube, you are my friend…
Smited… now there's a writer word. Smited.
King Solomon was known for WISDOM. You obviously aren't a biblical scholar,monsieur anonymous. 😀
Oh, and because I'm taking Bryan's example to heart, I want to add I'm not decrying anyone who chooses to write/draw/?? to the exclusion of anything else. My use of the term 'archaic' was a bit harsh.
It's the choice of the individual and some people may create their art better under those circumstances. Just don't assume the rest of us can't create equally well with a different lifestyle, including full-time jobs et al.
I'm singing the song for you, Bryan! 🙂 My hero… *sigh*… I've got SUCH a crush!
Thanks so much for the back and forth, everyone.
I will just add that there are really a whole lot of writers within the publishing industry. To take but one example, David Levithan is both editorial director of Scholastic as well as an incredibly successful and prolific author (he co-wrote NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST). Would you turn down a deal with Scholastic just because David also has his own writing career?
And there's even a long tradition of writers in the industry – T.S. Eliot worked at is now Faber & Faber, and back in the day of course Benjamin Franklin and others were the original self-publishers – they created presses to get their work out.
I certainly think you're entitled to your opinion, but I just don't think the conflicts of interest are there. My books aren't going to be in competition with my clients, my negotiating position with publishers will be just as strong, and should my book meet with any success at all you can bet I'm going to be turning around and deflecting that onto my client's books through the blog.
Lol. I admit, though, I very rarely wear Spidey tights. And people tend to freak out when I walk on walls, so…
Spidey tights not necessary. 🙂 The walking on walls, however? I'm okay with that!
Nathan, you are also articulate and classy. No Spidey tights for you either, though.
Yes, to what Nathan said! I think this can only be good news for Nathan's clients – or perspective clients.
Bryan,
It's hard to argue with you right now, because as Dana said, you were so eloquent.
Hard, but not impossible. 🙂
I agree about tact, but….
First, there can be other feelings than bitterness when someone else has a success. Aside from happiness and other positive feelings for them, of course. Angry feelings, like rage, anger, resentment which usually have sadder feelings underneath. Discouragement. Hurt. Yearning. Hopelessness. Doubt. Feeling overlooked, unappreciated, unsupported. Despair.
Working through these feelings is really really hard, but it can lead to other feelings like acceptance, surrender, inspiration, renewed determination, faith, trust and hope.
For friends: I would pick my timing, but I would talk about it because for me, that's what friendship is. Of course, friendship doesn't mean that to everyone, but it does to me.
On the blog: I would talk about it!!!!!! And I will. And I am. Because that is part of our journey together as writers. We need to be honest about and help each other with this stuff – the hard stuff. The stuff about failure, and jealousy and bitterness. Talking about it will help us work past it.
The person who succeeds has a challenge too, you know. They don't get off the hook. They have to the challenge of balancing compassion for other people, without feeling guilty, apologetic or hurt on their end.
And just so people know, I'm now deducting from my quota this week, to make up for posting so much here.
Oh – one last thing. The reason I'm addressing the emotional stuff so much is because I think that's what underlies the accusations anyway.
Haha! But you were being very tactful… and not in the least accusatory! So you can't fool me. Because, you know, I have a secret spider sense.