Hello! Nice to see you again.
Have you ever seen the Coen Bros. movie “The Man Who Wasn’t There”? Well, Billy Bob Thornton plays an ennui-stricken barber, and there’s a hilarious moment where he stares at a kid’s head for a while as he’s preparing to cut his hair and he says something like, “This hair. It just keeps…… growing.”
That’s kind of how queries feel sometimes when I come back into the office from time away.
Thanks so much to all of the awesome guest bloggers for keeping us all entertained and educated last week! Weren’t they great? I think they were great.
Margaret Yang says
The guest bloggers weren't you, and yet they were entertaining and informative.
I feel that same way about adverbs. "Must cut them out. They just keep … growing."
Welcome back – I love the Coen brothers but haven't seen that one yet. This weekend, I finally saw "No Country for Old Men" by the Coens (well, and that McCarthy guy:) and I'll never look at air compressors the same way again.
Steph Damore says
Welcome back Nathan – and thanks again for the awesome guest bloggers!
I debated querying you over the weekend, and then I thought "am I nuts? The man's on vacation! I don't want to even see his inbox when he gets back."
Chris Eldin says
I'll remember you when I watch that barber scene…Sounds hysterical!
Welcome back, Nathan. You've been sorely missed. Plow through the queries so you can bless us again with your wisdom , o mighty one…!
Melanie Avila says
We got a puppy while you were gone (I'm sure you're excited to know that) and I feel the same way about certain bodily functions as Billy Bob did about the hair.
They really were Grrrr-8! Awesome film reference. Love it.
Glad you're back. Now stop leaving!
I wanted to be able to tell you that the Sacramento Kings pulled off an amazing, league changing trade… but, well, they didn't.
Nathan stare at the computer screen, muttering, "these queries, they multiply…" Then epiphany strikes. He laughs out loud, exclaims, "I will never leave again!"
Seems like an excellent time to do QUERY STATS then!
*pounds fists on table* Query stats! Query stats!
Nathan Bransford says
Funny you should mention that. Last night around 9:30 when I was around query # 250 I thought… ah. Should have done query stats.
Vacuum Queen says
250??!!! So really now, do you have speed reading abilities? I'm being serious. It's crazy how much you read and how fast. I read like a play is running through my head…and that doesn't make for fast reading, never has. I had a tough time in college. 🙁
AND…do you have a point where you just stop reading? How many queries get read all the way through for you? Just curious about your brain more than anything.
BTW, thanks for having little contests. It makes me complete a writing assignment in a way that I enjoy. Not like the old days with too many restrictions. And I'm glad you don't grade them!
Lydia Sharp says
The guest bloggers were excellent, and I'm glad you're back.
Kristin Laughtin says
I think that's how everyone feels upon returning to work after a vacation, especially if you get a lot of email.
I feel like Thermocline about adverbs. Sometimes I just want to litter my first drafts with them, and then whenever I stop to take a breather, my eyes grow wide in horror.
I swear I'm no longer part of your query problem… I've been rejected and moved on.
Welcome back — good luck with that query pile.
Beth Terrell says
Welcome back, Nathan. Thanks for leaving us in such good hands.
Little known fact about puppies. In defiance of logic and the laws of physics they actually produce more than they consume. Good luck.
Welcome back, Nathan!
While Nathan was away I got a kitten and a cat. Do you think maybe we were channeling? Now I have four felines. Nathan, I can't keep this up.
Does this little known fact apply to cats as well? I sure would believe it if you said.
Stephanie Faris says
I once worked with a woman who handled all the permits for restaurants to serve liquor in the state of TN. She was the go-to girl if people had questions. I remember she'd take a vacation and when she'd come back, she'd spend three days just responding to voice mails that had been left during her week off. By the time she finished going through all those, she had about 70 more voice mails that had piled up in the meantime. Eventually, she just realized she couldn't even enjoy her vacation because it was too stressful to come back.
Elaine 'still writing' Smith says
I spent a little time on my finiky little re-edit – snuck over when I wasn't looking and it was like the, 'This agent. He just keeps … going.'
"The only happiness a brave person ever troubles themselves in asking about, is happiness enough to get their work done." Thomas Carlyle
Have fun with those queries. Glad you're back!
Laura Martone says
I echo everyone else here when I say… Welcome back, Nathan! We missed you, though I do believe you left us in good hands. All useful guest posts – and The Hobbit query was so hilarious that I even read it to my hubby!
P.S. Good luck with your new puppy, Mel. Nothing like a furry poop machine to complete your life.
Hey Nathan, welcome home! The guest blogs were fun, but it's good to have you back.
Nothing like coming back from a vacation to make you wish for….a vacation. 250+ queries! Wow.
Chumplet - Sandra Cormier says
Welcome back. I just dropped in to see if you'd checked out Jimmy Fallon's "The 7th Floor" videos. It's a funny take on The Hills. I thought you'd appreciate that 🙂
Welcome back, Nathan!
The guest-bloggers were great—and timely. From the villains of writing to assessing beta-readers, it all applied.
One fantastic thing about a pile of mail when you return: a job to return to. I keep checking work mail, yet I go days without anything in the inbox.
Crickets, only crickets.
That's the way I feel about my families wash when we get back from vacation. Mountains take days to become hills.
Thanks for the guest bloggers. Regina has been a huge help to me personally. She's keeping me honest and checking in with me daily. (I better get my act together!)
Jen C says
Gosh, while Nathan was away I finished up at my job, spent a week in my PJs doing pretty much nothing, started editing my book again, watched a lot of TV and then booked a holiday to the US! What a week!
Welcome back, Nathan, and I hope your dream query is not too far away…and has my name on it. 😉
Hat Man says
I don't send query letters anymore, but when I did I remember how irritated I got when agents would comment on how many letters they would get and what a burden it was. If I were an agent, I would respond to every one and I would treasure every query letter I get, because like referrals, they mean business. Call me naive but aren't agents in the business of attracting new writers? After two agents did nothing for me, I'm working on getting my own stuff out there. I don't pretend I'll be the next Stephen King or Elmore Leonard, but I will be the next me. You can read my book for free at http://www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com
Jen C says
Pretty sure Nathan didn't say they were a burden – he just said there were a lot of them.
Word Veri: bookin… like I need more encouragement to talk like Pauly Shore, buddddddy
Nathan Bransford says
I definitely wasn't saying they're a burden and I'm thankful for everyone who queries me. I've also already responded to everyone who queried me over the break.
That little, innocent "try me" in the home page is too darn tempting. You make it sound so feasible to intrigue you, it is easy to delude ourselves!! (I mean it as a compliment, you are one of the few agents out there who spend time being nice to everybody)
Welcome back Nathan!
Hope you had fun on your vacation. The guest blogs were entertaining!
Chuck H. says
Sorry about the mess in your mailbox but it weren't none of my doin'. As someone else said, I've been rejected and moved on. Welcome back, though I did enjoy the guests.
Word Ver: recar. Isn't that a new government program?
L. T. Host says
Welcome back, Mr. Bransford!
The guest bloggers were wonderful but I always appreciate your advice.