This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
Nothing sucks for seventeen-year-old Jonah McNab. Life’s perfect. And he’s bored out of his freaking mind–tired of being healthy, comfortable, and stagnant. How is his upper-middle-class lifestyle training him to be a better person? Unlike his anaphylaxis-prone brother, who gets to fight death on a regular basis, Jonah isn’t evolving. He’s not getting stronger. If he wants to be improve, he’s going to need a challenge to overcome. Even if he has to create one himself.
And that’s where the broken bones come in. Everyone knows broken bones grow back stronger than they were before. So Jonah will break them all, one by one. Break a bone, grow a better bone. Break a body, grow a better body. Right?
But Jonah’s new habit–and subsequent distraction–exacerbate all that’s not well at home. His brother, deteriorating whenever he’s not under Jonah’s watchful eye, decides eating’s not worth the risk of an allergic reaction. His parents use Jonah’s broken bones as just
another prop in their power plays, until they become the suspects of child abuse. It looks like Jonah’s destroying more than just his bones…but how can he be sure it’s all going to grow back?
IF IT AIN’T BROKE is a YA for the Children of Fight Club, complete at 45,000 words.
Author
STATS: 31% request rate
Professor I.M. Diphthong says
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for. I wish you the best of luck.
Professor I.M. Diphthong says
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for. I wish you the best of luck.
Tamara says
Dear Author,
If it wasn’t for the pesky little rule that we can only request pages from five authors, I would have loved to see a few pages of your work. I like the premise, but I’m just not sure there’s enough conflict and sympathy for the main character.
Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.
Regards,
Lindsey S.
Rubenesque Writer says
Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I don’t think I am the right agent to represent this manuscript. Best of luck.
Sincerely,
RW Lit
jnantz says
Dear Author:
I appreciate the opportunity to consider your work. After a lot of thought, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass. I just don’t feel I can represent this project with the kind of enthusiasm it would require. However, this business is very subjective, and I encourage you to query widely. Many agents may feel differently.
Thank you again,
Jnantz
[reason: Just got a little confusing. I think the idea could be original (not my genre) but I don’t know about saleable. But that’s my opinion and probably wrong.]
Colleen G. says
Dear Author:
Please send the first five chapters to me. I would like to read more of “It Ain’t Broke”.
Best Regards,
Agent C
Stephanie Reed says
Request pages.
Kaiscomet says
Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am passing on your project at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely
Cristy at Living Donor 101 says
Thanks for your query, but it doesn’t fulfill our needs at this time.
gypsyscarlett says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
Unfortunately, your story is not right for me.
I wish you much luck finding a suitable agent.
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying me. I’m afraid I have to pass on this one.
Good luck with your work.
Kind regards,
Leis
rantonson17 says
Dear Author,
Thank your for your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to represent your work at this time.
Best of luck,
Rebekka
Diana says
Dear Query #9:
This is just warpy enough to have potential, and I’d really like to see more. Please attach the first 50 pages in an e-mail to me with REQUESTED MATERIAL #9 in the subject line.
Best wishes,
Diana
NotJana says
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying me. Even though I like your voice, I’m afraid the story itself is not right for me. Please feel free to query me with any other material you might have now or in the future.
All the best,
Agent For A Day (Or Two)
Perle_Rare says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission but this isn’t right for me at this time.
Best wishes,
Perle_Rare
Reason:
– Interesting premise but I would have like to see more about the challenges and less about how perfect the world was.
H. Zilionis says
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for sending me your query and offering me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for your project.
Good luck and keep writing!
Holly Z – Agent for a Day
Sharon aka Sapphire says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I do not feel it is right for me. Remember that my opinion is just one. I urge you to continue to seek out representation with your manuscript.
Best wishes,
Sharon
Aimless Writer says
Very strong query. I’d request but the concept disturbs me. Would the YA market go for something like this?
Just_Me says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Your novel sounds intriguing but at this time does not suit our list. We wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.
Sincerely,
Agent
Note: I can see this being a focal point of banned books week. Why would you want to recommend breaking bones to teenagers? What did they ever do to you?
Mira says
Dear Author,
I would guess this is highly marketable. A book for Children of the Fight club is absolutely timely.
Your writing is also tight and brisk, with a good flow and voice. Most likely your book is just as good.
This is really tough. I could be so wrong on this one……..but I’m going to pass on a partial. The only reason is I wonder if publishers would think there would be a big enough audience for the book. This book could sell very well, but it would need marketing to it’s niche. Would publishers back it? I think that depends on your publishing credits, which you don’t mention.
If this isn’t published already, I would bet you could definitely find a home for this work. They might publish it because it’s so current, and then hand it to you, and say: go market.
Best of luck to you!
Mira
Maria A says
Thank you for thinking of our agency, but not for us at this moment.
Best of luck,
Agent
Davien says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.
All the best,
Janine says
I think this sounds interesting. Please email me the full manuscript as a word doc.
Agent Me
donnas says
Thank you for your interest but this is not right for me at this time.
Sincerely.
Rebecca Knight says
Dear Ain’t Broke,
Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. Unfortunately, I feel that I’m not the best fit for your project. This industry is highly subjective, so I’m sure others will feel differently. Best of luck to you in all your endeavors.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Knight
Nora Coon says
Dear Author,
Please send the full manuscript at your earliest convenience.
Best,
Agent for a Day
***
This really grabbed me. I loved the angle – instead of your typical self-mutilation story, Jonah’s perspective is very different. In fact, the only thing that worried me was the length – 45K seems awfully short. Otherwise, I want to read it.
RainSplats says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m interested in seeing more of your project. Please send me 30 pages + a detailed synopsis.
-Rain
Getabo Publishing says
I love the opening line, I like the premise and I think it’s an excellent query. It made my Top 10.
Just didn’t really hook me enough to make my top 5.
But I did really like it.
***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.
We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.
We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.
Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing
Alisa says
No, thank you.
Alisa.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for IF IT AIN’T BROKE for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, and I do find the concept of placing the words “children” and “Fight club” in the same sentence slightly disturbing, however please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to publish your work. Feel free to send me a query for other books you complete. I wish you the best of luck with your writing!
Aisling
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Storyline seemed implausible to me. Blurb could be condensed; tries to pack too much in at the end, too extended at beginning. Did not like comparison to Fight Club.
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. You have an interesting premise, and your query is quite good.
I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book. The subject matter is a little dark for my tastes, but that could help with other agents.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Not my cup of tea.
Agent Edgar Leroy 3rd
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Thank you for sending your novel If It Aint’ Broke my way. I rarely represent work this edgy. There are many agents who do, and I predict one of them will snap this up. Your writing is clear and your voice compelling. Go for it.
Sincerely,
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Katalina Marie says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry but I don’t think that this book is the one for me.
Regards,
Katalina Marie
Anonymous says
Dear Writer,
Thanks so much for the query, but this is just not right for us at this time. Feel free to send me any others you might come up with, and best of luck in other endeavors.
AM
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Arkham says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Thank you for sending your novel If It Aint’ Broke my way. I rarely represent work this edgy. There are many agents who do, and I predict one of them will snap this up. Your writing is clear and your voice compelling. Go for it.
Sincerely,
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba