This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Agent for a Day,
I would like to present P.O.V., a 97,000 word thriller.
Audra doesn’t see the world like other people; she prefers to view it through the one by two inch square of her camera’s view-finder. At an estate sale, Audra finds a rare old camera and a box full of photos of the man who owned it. There’s one photo for every year of his life arranged like a travel journal, only the wheelchair bound invalid never left his home. Fixated on the mystery behind the journal, she has the camera repaired, and following the previous owner’s instructions, she takes a picture of herself and sends it off to Nepal – a place she always wanted to see. A week later, her dreams are full of Mt. Everest and brightly colored prayer chains strung above a rustic village.
No matter where she sends herself, she sees through the eyes on film. Places she’s never been. People she doesn’t know. Rooms she’s never occupied. When she starts a webpage to chronicle her virtual travels, Audra discovers that she can see through open windows on computer screens and off printed pages. It’s funny when she catches the professor she always hated in a compromising situation, but terrifying when her dreams fill with images of a murder she’s forced to watch and can’t stop. Audra can’t even seek help from the Police without sounding insane.
When her tormentor realizes what’s happening, he makes Audra his ultimate victim. Once he finds her, it’s easy to find her friends. Now he’s got a captive audience that must observe powerless and mute while he carries out his twisted machinations.
I can send sample chapters or a full manuscript upon request. Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 27% request rate
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate your time and efforts, but I am sorry to say that I do not wish to represent your story. If you have another story idea, please send it to me in the future, and I would be happy to look at it.
Best Wishes,
Quintus Blackburn
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this just didn’t grab me. Good luck with your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Interesting premise to begin but lost me with seeing through windows in computer screens. She had never noticed this before? And next to last paragraph suggests her friends now share her ability.)
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Your book is interesting and I feel it has some potential, but it’s not for me, thanks for the attempt though.
Sincerely,
Mitsubishi
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have read your request and I do believe you have something going. Please send me the first thirty pages, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Have a nice day,
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I think that your story seems like it has publishing potential, and I would like to have the full manuscript.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I think that you have a very interesting book and I would like to read view more. Please send me the full manuscript.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: I felt that the writing style shown here would indicate a good writer with a great deal of potential. The query structure is good. However, I felt the blurb was too long and did not really tell me the story. The characterization looked good, but I was not drawn into the storyline.
Eva Ulian says
Quite an interesting query, will review again when you have honed the query further.
Dear Author, Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work. Good luck in your search for representation. All the best, Agent LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Its a very interesting premise, but I had trouble understanding exactly WHAT the protag can do.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. I’m interested to see more! Please send me the first three chapters to blahblah at blahblah dot com. Either Microsoft Word format, OpenOffice format, or rich text would be fine.
Thank you very much for considering me!
Agent Gryph
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Anonymous says
I want to know what comment had to be deleted 🙁 Was it about the query or just inappropriate in general?
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
It was just someone leaving rude anonymous comments seemingly at random.
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Note: While I found this a bit confusing, I would have requested pages if I hadn’t exhausted my five picks already. Good luck!)
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
Kat says
Interesting premise, I would like to request a partial. Please send first three chapters!
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
I regret my list is full and I cannot accept your work for representation. The premise is interesting. The turn of light hearted voyeurism to dark horror catches the imagination. I am sure another agent will find this book exactly right.
Sincerely
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for P.O.V for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
Shawntelle says
Dear Author,
I would love to learn more about your thriller. The premise seems fascinating! Please send me the first fifty pages of your manuscript as per my submission guidelines.
Sincerely,
Shawntelle
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
Nifaerie Noven says
Hi,
Thanks for querying. You have an interesting voice and a strong concept, but I don’t think this work is right for me. Keep querying and keep writing. I am certain you will get representation soon.
Best of luck.
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel P.O.V.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
Just_Me says
Dear Author,
I can’t wait to read more about Audra! Please send me the first 3 chapters and a detailed synopsis at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Agent.
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
* This query interested me on a lot of levels, but in the end I found it kind of confusing.
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to My Imaginary Yet Successful Literary Agency. I receive many queries each day, and I request only a small percentage of manuscripts that I’m interested in representing. I have decided not to request one for your book because I don’t feel that I’m intrigued enough to be its best representative.
Should you need resources for querying, finding writing resources and groups, or if you’d like to know more about how I choose manuscripts, please visit (this section of my agency’s website) for more information. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your writing. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider your work.
Warm regards,
Hallie
__________________________________
And if I were fortunate enough to be able to give some feedback to each and every author I declined, I’d note the following:
This was on my maybe list. The story information was a little on the long side, but the end of the story threw me, because it sounds like we’ve had all this buildup just to exploit Audra and torture other people, and I had a creepypasta.com vibe that I couldn’t shake off. If Audra has to/can do something to stop the madness, I’d like a hint of that, and I’d scoop up the manuscript to see what happened.
Best of luck!
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Jada says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me for your query. Please email me the first three chapters of your manuscript.
Regards,
Agent for a Day.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. I can certainly see this being picked up elsewhere, but unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – interesting premise but the actual query left me feeling unsure somehow. Maybe submit a few sample pages next time.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Vic K says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting P.O.V to my agency. I’m intrigued by the premise and I’d like to see the first fifty pages.
Regards,
Vic K.
Reason; I loved the originality of the concept.
Anonymous says
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to represent you. Unfortunately this work is not for me. Good luck with your search for representation. Agent Festus Crapper
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day
P.S. The premise sounds interesting, but it could be difficult to buy into. Does the character struggle with believing what is happening?
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Concidering my current workload, I can only take on projects I feel truly passionate about. While I loved the beginning of your query, you lost me when you mentioned her being able to see through computer screens. I’d need more information on the mysterious tormenter you brought into the scenario. As is, I have to pass. Good luck in your writing.
-Kendra
Kathy says
Thank you but I”m going to have to pass on this project. I must confess I was confused by your plot.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Heather says
Dear X,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be very well conceived, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses. However, after a revision of your query letter manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – P.O.V. – for my consideration. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this work for you. Best wishes for your future endeavours. Agent Rik.
Crystal says
or,
Thank you for your submission. I am writing to request a further manuscript material. Please send the first five or ten chapters to the address in which you sent your query. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lit Agent
Anahita says
Dear author:
Please send me your manuscript. Thanks for sharing your query.
StephanieD says
The premise is intriguing. Please send a 3-5 page synopsis and the first three chapters in the body of the reply e-mail.
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I’m afraid I have to pass at this time.
Good luck with your writing.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
Jackie Harris-Stone says
Dear Author,
Thnk you for your query. I would be interested in exploring this further. Please send me the first three chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
Jackie H.S.
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me.
Although your work shows promise, I had a difficult time understanding the details of the plot.
Take heart, however–another agent may feel differently!
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)