This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day
For over ten thousand years it ceased to exist; genetically engineered into extinction. Every record of its existence buried deep and forgotten within Corporate secure databases. Possession of this knowledge is illegal and the consequences extreme. Kutch only recently acquired this knowledge while intruding Corporate databases with the help of his internal AI, Li. The ancient data is so unbelievable that he filed it away as nonsense; at first. But now while on the job as Coroner, Free Radicals Division for Corporate, he is staring at what can only be described within the context of that illicit knowledge; murder! A monster has returned.
Reporting the death as anything other than normal to Corporate Security would only incriminate himself and his AI to their own illegitimate activities. The burden of knowing the truth consumes his every waking thought and invades every dream-state. There is no escaping it; something must be done, but what? DESCENDANTS is a 100,000 word adult science fiction story of murder, suspense, and intrigue spanning the galaxy.
Kutch is not a typical science fiction-fantasy monster slayer relying on training and experience to take on the unknown. There are no Corporate Protocols on how to handle a situation as this. He decides to confide his dilemma to Alex, a recent acquaintance that lives outside of Corporate protocols and scrutiny. She is smart, bold, confident and skilled in the art of deception, particularly when it comes to hiding from Corporate Security. Most important, she doesn’t think Kutch has gone insane!
Kutch is convinced there is only one thing left to do and with Alex’s help they embark on a search for a monster that should not exist. Eluding Corporate Security becomes the least of their worries when they discover the very thing they are seeking to stop from killing again, will stop at nothing to kill them next!
The completed or partial manuscript will be sent upon request.
Thank you for your time,
Author
STATS: 2% request rate
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query for “Descendants.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t match my needs at this time.
Best wishes in your search for representation,
Sincerely,
Owl Sprite
gypsyscarlett says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your story is not right for me.
I wish you much luck finding a suitable agent.
Kaiscomet says
Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am passing on your project at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely
RB Ripley says
Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me with your recent query for DESCENDANTS.
Unfortunately, this project does not resonate with me and I must respectfully decline, though I do hope you’ll continue to consider me for future projects.
Please remember, we are part of a highly subjective industry and I am confident there is an agent out who would best represent your story.
I wish you all the best in your continued efforts. Keep writing!
Sincerely,
Agent For a Day
[rejection reason: Overall, the query was confusing and I had a tough time following the story. Additionally, the author’s unique voice didn’t seem to come through in a way that made me lean in. I know that’s vague, but I wanted to want to know more, but didn’t…]
Cristy at Living Donor 101 says
Thanks for the submission, but it does fit our needs at this time.
jnantz says
Dear Author:
I appreciate the opportunity to consider your work. After a lot of thought, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass. I just don’t feel I can represent this project with the kind of enthusiasm it would require. However, this business is very subjective, and I encourage you to query widely. Many agents may feel differently than I do.
Thank you again,
Jnantz
[reason: I liked it, but it just seemed a little convoluted. I worried that the writing might match the query. Sorry]
Nik says
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass at this time.
Reasoning: I’m confused.
I’m uncertain if the illegal knowledge is of a monster or murder. I think this could be interesting, but the blurb is too vague for me.
Jenn says
Form rejection letter.
I wasn’t dying to know what the “monster” was. I wish the writing had more “bite” so I was anxious to read more.
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. I encourage you to query other agents and wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
Agent C
(It was a bit long–maybe stop at the line with the word count. Sounded kind of interesting, though)
Mira says
Dear Author,
Science fiction thriller! Cool. As I was reading your query, I was imagining this not only as print, but film. Sort of Dan Brown in a detective agency in space.
I’m not requesting a partial because I couldn’t quite get a sense of the story from your query. I’m not sure what was gone for 1,000 years. That doesn’t mean the book isn’t very good, but without more information, I’m not clear enough on the plot to pursue this.
This may be a very exciting book with lots of twists and turns. The element of mystery, danger and love interest could make this a very readable, enjoyable book.
I wish you the absolute best!
Mira
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but I’ll have to pass.
(I kinda what to know who I’d be working with)
NotJana says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, I’m afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your project.
All the best,
Agent For A Day (Or Two)
rantonson17 says
Dear Author,
Thank your for your query. Your synopsis was intriguing–reminiscent of Asimov’s I Robot. Unfortunately, I am unable to represent your work at this time.
Best of luck,
Rebekka
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. I am not able to take on your project. To increase your chances of success I encourage you to clarify the theme and plot described in your letter. The book may in fact offer these with greater clarity. Writing query letters is a different skill set than writing fiction. Nevertheless, the query must hook the reader and accurately reflect your writing. I regret this letter does not.
Keep at it. I suspect your story is worth it.
Sincerely,
Honesty is the Best Policy
Flemmily says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I feel that DESCENDENTS is not a fit for our agency.
Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Flemmily
Diana says
Dear Query #44:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am no longer representing science fiction/fantasy at this time.
Best wishes,
Diana
Perle_Rare says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission but this isn’t right for me at this time.
Best wishes,
Perle_Rare
Reason:
– I get a sense of red tape but I’m not hooked.
H. Zilionis says
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for sending me your query and offering me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for your project.
Good luck and keep writing!
Holly Z – Agent for a Day
TecZ aka Dalton C Teczon - Writer says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query and for allowing me to consider your work.
While your novel, “Descendants,” sounds exciting, I feel I’m not the right fit for your project. Therefore, I must decline on this project right now. But I do want to encourage you to continue submitting. Just because a project isn’t quite right for me, doesn’t mean the right agent isn’t just around the corner.
I wish you the best of luck with all your writing endeavors and in the querying and submission process. Persistence pays off, so don’t give up!
Best regards,
Dalton C. Teczon – Agent
Maria A says
Thank you for thinking of our agency, but not for us at this moment.
Best of luck,
Agent
Davien says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.
All the best,
lilianamama says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your interest in the “Be An Agent For a Day” contest. While I find your idea somewhat intriguing, its description is too vague for me to follow. I also think you have a typo. Wouldn’t it be intruding into Corporate databases or invading Corporate databases? But what really confused me was the unknown quantity of your “monster”. I needed more than an it and a murder of someone I know nothing about – not even when their murder took place.
I suggest you use text from your story that displays your skill as a fiction author and also reveals critical portion of plot. You do a decent job of showing your character’s obstacles, but I think it would help your case if you could demonstrate how your main character changes throughout the book.
Lastly, put the word count at the end of the query along with all marketing information. It disrupts the flow of your plot where it is.
I wish you all the best.
Nora Coon says
Not right for us at this time. Best of luck.
***
Found the query too dense, and rather rambling.
Lorin says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this isn’t a good fit for me at this time.
Thank you,
Lorin
Dana says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. While I found your concept to be quite interesting, ultimately it just wasn’t interesting enough. Please continue to query widely, as I’m sure there is a home for it somewhere.
Regards,
Dana
reasons: Cool idea, but not cool enough, though I liked the writing and voice
RainSplats says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it’s not a good fit for me. Best of luck.
-Rain
(confusing)
Janine says
Thank you for your query, but I am not the right agent for this. Best of luck.
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Alisa says
No, thank you.
Alisa.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for DESCENDANTS for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Cat Moleski says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your project is not right for me at this time.
Cat
Joy says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn’t right for me.
Best of luck in your writing endeavors,
Joy
Note: Sorry, I don’t know enough about the genre to know if this would sell, so I’m going to pass. Keep querying.
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this just didn’t grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Who or what is the monster? Confusing story line. Query could use some editing for clarity.)
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate you sending in your work, but I don’t think its right for me.
Best of luck,
Keith Champaign
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I didn’t like it. Try again later.
Backdoor Trojan
PS: genetic is GOOD
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I appreciate the query but your book is not what I am looking for at the moment. However, I wish you luck in getting this book published.
Best regards,
Nathaniel Orange
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate your time and efforts, but I am sorry to say that I do not wish to represent your story. If you have another story idea, please send it to me in the future, and I would be happy to look at it.
Best Wishes,
Quintus Blackburn
The Spidermonkey says
Thank you for your query, which I have considered carefully. However I’m afraid to say I won’t be able to represent you.
Your letter is unclear: you can’t hold back secrets and twists from prospective agents/ publishers. Also, don’t use exclamation marks, sentences are either exciting or they’re not.
Please bear in mind this is a personal opinion, and others may see things differently. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
I appreciate you sending me this, but I’m going to pass.
S. Pancake
Mega says
I thank you for sending me your query but it isn’t right for me at this time.
-MV
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Good query structure, but the blurb was too long and I felt it was a little incoherent. Sentence structure problems and repetitive words made me think the writing might need too much editing. The story idea was intriguing, but I didn’t feel for the character.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame