This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day:
When Grandpa Irv dies—only a few months after Gram’s unexpected death—and Aunt Ninian tries to keep Mom from attending the funeral, thirteen-year-old Emily Novak is far from prepared for the aftermath. Emotionally abandoned by her mother and thus reliant on the stability of her father, Emily spends her adolescence hiding behind a camera, unable to stand her ground and take the risks that will enable her to mature. Meanwhile her younger brother Zack, always a curious and independent kid, starts down a reckless path that turns him into a stranger in his family’s eyes.
Struggling before, during, and after college to find the courage to make her own choices rather than those of her parents, Emily observes that her brother’s adventures are bring him a confidence that she envies. Yet Emily is also continually aware of the rising cost of Zack’s decisions… as well as her own. My novel BECOMING EMILY NOVAK is the story of how we sift through our inheritance to disentangle our own truth from what our parents have told us is true, and what that sifting means for the shape of our adulthood.
I think of this novel as an example of the accessible literary fiction you so aptly named on your blog “book club fiction.” It has a sensibility similar to Curtis Sittenfeld’s Prep or Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake, and I would expect a similar audience as well, with some extra niche marketing avenues in the Jewish and queer communities.
I received my MFA in Creative Writing from XXX and have been teaching adult education courses in novel development and memoir at YYY for the past four years. The short story that spawned BECOMING EMILY NOVAK won second place in ZZZ national short story contest, and I have been published in AAA, BBB, and CCC, among others. A complete list of my publications can be found on my website at DDD.com.
You have often repeated, “when in doubt, query me,” and so I have, and I hope you’ll be interested in representing me and this novel. Thank you for your time. Please feel free to contact me by phone, mail, or email. I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 7% request rate
Nik says
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass at this time.
Reasoning: You call this a novel, but also say that it placed in a short story contest which leaves me confused on the length of the book, and I personally don’t have an idea of where this would fit in the market (but I’m hoping you tweak the letter to suit each real agent you query so they do.)
Regarding the blurb, I think it can be condensed. The names of all her family in the beginning don’t seem as necessary as the fact that she’s emotionally abandoned and struggles to find herself as she grows into womanhood. At least I think that is the major message.
Kaiscomet says
Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am passing on your project at this time. However, I was impressed by your letter and your experience. I would be interested in seeing other projects that you have in the future.
Sincerely
jnantz says
Dear Author:
I appreciate the opportunity to consider your work. After a lot of thought, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass. I just don’t feel I can represent this project with the kind of enthusiasm it would require. However, this business is very subjective, and I encourage you to query widely. Many agents may feel differently than I do.
Thank you again,
Jnantz
Jenn says
Form Rejection.
There just wasn’t enough here to spark my interest. Where is the conflict? What is the brother doing that is so destructive? I would have liked to seen more about the book and less about the author’s credentials. But that’s JMHO.
Eva Ulian says
Thank you for your submission which I would have considered if this were a “special” family with a specif strong identity culture, but as it stands this family does not distinguish itself from any other and therefore pass.
lilianamama says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your interest in the “Be An Agent For a Day” contest. While I find your idea intriguing, your query’s first paragraph confused me too much. I suggest you remove it and use your second paragraph instead. If you’d like, try to use some of your actual text to fill in the gaps, like your point of rising tension or a decision making point in the book. This will display your skill as a writer.
I wish you all the best.
Sharon aka Sapphire says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I do not feel it is right for me. Remember that my opinion is just one. I urge you to continue to seek out representation with your manuscript.
Best wishes,
Sharon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Although I think this is an extremely strong query, I just didn’t love it as much as I wanted to. Please consider me for any other projects.
Diana says
Sorry to say I don’t feel too drawn into this story. The events and characters of the first paragraph are very solid and vivid, but then it seems confined to a very small part of the story as the rest of the plot takes on a much bigger scope, so the query feels uneven.
NotJana says
Dear Author
Thank you for querying me. Although there are some potentially interesting elements presents, I am afraid this is not the right project for me at this time.
All the best,
Agent For A Day (Or Two)
rantonson17 says
Dear Author,
Thank your for your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to represent your work at this time.
Best of luck,
Rebekka
Bekkoni says
Dear Author,
This is a strong project, but unfortunately I can only request one more manuscript and therefore must regretfully pass.
Best wishes,
Bekkoni
gypsyscarlett says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
Unfortunately, your story is not right for me.
I wish you much luck finding a suitable agent.
Diana says
Dear Query #40:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this isn’t the right project for me.
Best wishes,
Diana
Flemmily says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I feel that BECOMING EMILY NOVAK is not a fit for our agency.
Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Flemmily
Flemmily says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I feel that BECOMING EMILY NOVAK is not a fit for our agency.
Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Flemmily
Flemmily says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I feel that BECOMING EMILY NOVAK is not a fit for our agency.
Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Flemmily
TecZ aka Dalton C Teczon - Writer says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query and for allowing me to consider your work.
While your novel, “Becoming Emily Novak,” sounds exciting, I feel I’m not the right fit for your project. Therefore, I must decline on this project right now. But I do want to encourage you to continue submitting. Just because a project isn’t quite right for me, doesn’t mean the right agent isn’t just around the corner.
I wish you the best of luck with all your writing endeavors and in the querying and submission process. Persistence pays off, so don’t give up!
Best regards,
Dalton C. Teczon – Agent
Perle_Rare says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission but this isn’t right for me at this time.
Best wishes,
Perle_Rare
Reason:
– I’m not hooked.
H. Zilionis says
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for sending me your query and offering me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for your project.
Good luck and keep writing!
Holly Z – Agent for a Day
Maria A says
Thank you for thinking of our agency, but not for us at this moment.
Best of luck,
Agent
Dana says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing your novel.
Regards,
Dana
Reasons: Not enough voice, grammar mistakes, not sure the plot is enough to carry the novel and didn’t get a strong sense of character
Nora Coon says
Not right for us at this time. Best of luck.
***
I was confused about the length of time that this story spans. She’s thirteen when her grandfather dies, yet the story follows her all the way past college? You say it will appeal to Jewish and queer audiences – is it because she happens to be Jewish and bi/lesbian, or are those major factors in the story? You’ve given the setup, but no real indication of the course that the story will take.
Lorin says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this isn’t a good fit for me at this time.
Thank you,
Lorin
Rachel says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. I wish you luck in your search for representation.
RainSplats says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it’s not a good fit for me. Best of luck.
-Rain
Janine says
Thank you for your query, but I am not the right agent for this. Best of luck.
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to My Imaginary Yet Successful Literary Agency. I receive many queries each day, and I request only a small percentage of manuscripts that I’m interested in representing. I have decided not to request one for your book because I don’t feel that I’m intrigued enough to be its best representative.
Should you need resources for querying, finding writing resources and groups, or if you’d like to know more about how I choose manuscripts, please visit (this section of my agency’s website) for more information. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your writing. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider your work.
Warm regards,
Hallie
__________________________________
And if I were fortunate enough to be able to give some feedback to each and every author I declined, I’d note the following:
I had a good idea of the big picture themes in the story, but I am not sure about the strength of the plot conflicts because I don’t know quite what they are.
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Getabo Publishing says
I like the story very much. I think it’s a well written if little long query, but this made my Top 20.
Just didn’t really hook me enough to make my top 5. Give me something more concrete and dramatic from the plot perhaps.
But I was really torn, I did really like it.
***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.
We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.
We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.
Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing
Alisa says
No, thank you.
Alisa.
Joy says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn’t right for me.
Best of luck in your writing endeavors,
Joy
Reasoning: The conflict driving the story wasn’t apparent enough to me. Keep working on it. Sounds like a great start.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for BECOMING EMILY NOVAK for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Cat Moleski says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. However, your project is not right for me.
Cat
Mira says
Dear Author,
This is a very good query. Well-written, and a good plot outline. I really like discussion of audience and your qualifications. There is also something about your query that gives the impression you would be really mature and easy to work with – always a plus for an agent.
I sat on the fence on this one for a couple of days. This could be a very good book – character study and development – that would appeal very much to agents who like literary fiction.
I’ve decided not to request a partial just because I’m guessing this is not yet published. I could be wrong, of course. I could see an agent getting behind this, especially if it’s as well-written as your query.
I’m curious as to why the gay community is a niche here. Is Emily gay? If so, you may want to be upfront about that. Otherwise, why would it appeal to gays? I think you may want to clarify that – there could be misunderstandings, and you never know what biases an agent has….although when we talk about this type of thing, how would I know, really? Just a guess.
I live in San Franscisco. If you’ve written a story with a gay main character, I applaud you. Standing ovation, actually. But selling would be more tricky. Just the reality of things. I’d be upfront. You could hit on an advocate, who feels the public is ready, like it or not.
Best of luck to you, absolutely!
Mira
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this didn’t grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Story confused me. Why wasn’t mom welcome at funeral? Is Emily gay and Jewish?)
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate you sending in your work, but I don’t think its right for me.
Best of luck,
Keith Champaign
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I appreciate the query but your book is not what I am looking for at the moment. However, I wish you luck in getting this book published.
Best regards,
Nathaniel Orange
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Good query structure, but I found the blurb to be long and to have too much to say about the emotional situation of the characters, without actually showing it to me, or telling what happens in the story. The ‘about me’ para is good. Most of the final para is unneeded: thank you for your time is all that’s required.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
ccallicotte4 says
Thank you for sending me your query for BOOK TITLE. I appreciate you considering me.
I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it, as I feel I would not be the best agent to represent your work. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.
Best of luck to you.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC