This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
My name is Author, and I am writing to introduce you to my novel Secluded Alleys – a darkly humorous, neo-noir thriller. It is Carl Hiaasen meets Pulp Fiction in the caffeinated, smoke-choked marijuana culture of the Pacific Northwest:
The photographs allegedly show a dead woman covered with mousetraps, a dead baby holding a handgun, a dead girl provocatively posed with fruits and vegetables.
Dylan Massey, Seattle’s favorite pot-addled reporter, is approached by a bizarre young man who calls himself Lou C. Fur and claims to pose cadavers with objects as an artistic expression. But when Lou is arrested as a serial killer, Seattle is awash in the controversy and Dylan’s reputation is swept away in the tide of public disgust. While the cops are convinced the deaths are the work of one sick young man, Dylan sets his sights on a voyeuristic apartment manager, a bad cop with a vendetta, and a billionaire software tycoon with a dirty secret. Dylan must delve deep and face his demons in order to discover some light of truth through all of the haze.
As a former reporter and gallery director, I bring readers into the worlds of art and journalism with an eye for detail. As a screenwriter, my films have shown internationally, most recently at The Smithsonian Institute Museum of American History. My writing has received numerous accolades:
“Compared, with good reason, to stories of Raymond Carver.” – The Seattle Times
“Well written.” C. Michael Curtis, Fiction Editor of The Atlantic Monthly
“Startlingly unique.” The Seattle Post-Intelligencer
“An evocative short story.” – Matt Groening, Creator of The Simpsons
I have included a synopsis and the first three chapters of my 79,000 word novel in the body of this email. Also, please know that I am sending this query letter to three other agents who may be a good fit for my work. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 14% request rate
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Thank you for including me in your list of agents for submissions of Secluded Alleys. I gave it a first and second look, wondering if I could do this neo-noir novel justice. I reluctantly concluded I cannot. I am sure someone will. Stay with it.
Sincerely,
Honesty Is the Best policy
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for SECLUDED ALLEYS for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Secluded Alleys.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
Mira says
Dear Author,
I would like to request a partial.
Good story, good mystery, scary, good elements of a thriller.
A couple of things didn’t work for me: I wasn’t quite clear why Dylan’s reputation was swept away in a cloud of dust just for publishing a story…? Also, where’s the romance? What’s a suspense thriller without a romance?
But you got me with the quotes. No way would I read those quotes if I were an agent, and not request a partial. Nice job on the self-promotion – I mean that in a vedry good way.
Thank you. I look forward to reading more of your manuscript.
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Dave says
Sounds interesting. Please send it along.
Just_Me says
Dear Author,
I love noir, but you lost me at smoke-choked. I’ve spent several days debating whether I could represent a book that focuses so much on the modern drug culture, and I find I can’t.
I have no doubt that your manuscript will soon find a good home and sell well. There is a solid market for thrillers. But I am not the best advocate for this book and I don’t feel I can do the manuscript the justice it deserves.
Sincerely,
Agent
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don't feel this project isn't right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
*Note: wasn't something like this on an episode of Law & Order or CSI recently?
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Concidering my current workload, I can only take on projects I feel truly passionate about. While the work shows promise, I didn’t find myself truly drawn to the idea. I have to pass. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Jada says
Form rejection.
Reason: I would have liked to hear more about the story, and less about the reviews and the fact that your story is ‘A meets B’.
While your reviews are good, they take up too much room that would be better spent on the current story, as this is the one the agent will be representing.
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’d like to request a copy of your manuscript (and submission instructions go here). It usually takes me about a month from the time I receive the file to read and consider manuscripts and reply. Thank you again!
Warm regards,
Hallie
The Spidermonkey says
Request for full manuscript
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. I can see this being picked up elsewhere, but unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be well conceived, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses. However, after a revision of your query letter and manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
Kevin W says
Dear Author:
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. I am pleased to be contacting you to request the submission of a full manuscript of SECLUDED ALLEYS to consider prior to agreeing to represent you.
From what I have seen so far I am very much looking foward to receiving the full text and, subject to approval, helping you on your way to becoming a published author.
Kevin W
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Secluded Alleys – for my consideration.
May I say that I enjoyed reading your query, and would be very interested in seeing the first five chapters. If you are still interested in my services, then please send the partial to [email address] as a [preferred format] document or, if you prefer, send the pages to me at [postal address].
Please be aware that this email is not an offer of representation. Please also note that given the volume of work, it might take me a while to consider your submission – if you haven’t heard back from me three weeks after sending me the requested text, feel free to send me a reminder at [email address].
I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
Agent Rik.
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting SECLUDED ALLEYS for my consideration.
I’m not sure if the genre suites me, but darn if I wasn’t seeing and feeling it.
I have misplaced the synopsis and sample chapters, so please send the entire manuscript.
Sincerely,
AgentforDay
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Meggrs says
Rejection with encouragement to submit future projects. Strong voice, but the imagery ended up being more offputting for me than compelling.
It doesn’t mean that someone with a pipeline into editors who are looking for darker humor wouldn’t be successful with this project.
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. While I think your story has good potential, I am unable to offer representation at this time.
Please feel free to query me in the future.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
**This is one partial I would have requested, had I not used up my allotment… Sorry!**
EJN says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, as excited as I am to see an endorsement from Matt Groening, the writing just didn’t grab me. I’m sure there is another agent out there who will grab this.
Best of luck,
Agent EJN
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me.
Although your query shows promise, it needs a better sense of focus before I would feel comfortable representing it. Feel free to requery after you’ve made revisions.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
Hilabeans says
Dear Author,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.
Best wishes,
HHS
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink. Unfortunately, Secluded Alleys is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query for “Secluded Alleys.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Best wishes in your search for (real) representation,
Owl Sprite
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query is not good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / SECLUDED ALLEYS / YOUR NAME. I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel your book is right for me. Good luck with your search.
Best,
S
2readornot says
Your writing seems strong and fluid, but I’m afraid this isn’t a genre I represent. Good luck!
Kathy says
Thank you for your query.
I’m going to have to pass on this project.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
Sara J. Henry says
Form rejection[Reasons: From the opening sentence alone, and from quoting accolades about your work – seems tacky, plus you don’t mention any published short stories, but some of the quotes apparently refer to your short stories?]
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that your story is the right fit for me.
Best of luck.
Saint_Fool
AMM says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting SECLUDED ALLEYS for my consideration. I am interested in reading more.
Please send a brief synopsis and the first three chapters for further consideration.
Sincerely,
AMM
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. The premise and setting do nothing for me, but your writing is so strong I think I may enjoy Secluded Alleys anyway. Please send me the full manuscript. (I see the query said that the first chapters were included, but since Nathan didn’t post them my decision couldn’t take them into account.)
That Girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best of luck,
That Agent Girl
Diana says
Interesting premise, but not sure it’s for me.
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter and for thinking of me for representation of Secluded Alleys. While your novel sounds intriguing, I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to pursue it further with you. You truly were in my “would accept if I could go beyond 5 category.” Because I was on the fence with your query, I want to provide some reasoning beyond the standard rejection and let you know that the phrase “face his demons in order to discover some light of truth through all of the haze” was one that didn’t work for me. Please know that I am a literary agent only for a day so my opinion may be taken with many grains of salt. I wish you all the best in securing other representation.
Regards,
R. Markiam