This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
Fifteen-year-old Bento is a seventh son and, according to Argentine legend, doomed to transform into an el lobison – a werewolf, on his sixteenth birthday. When local villagers attempt to kill him, he flees his homeland to find refuge with an eccentric family in New Jersey where he learns that werewolves were once an actual race that intermixed with humans. This interspecies breeding resulted in humans carrying recessive genes that express werewolf-like tendencies on nights brightened by a full moon. Bento is assured that shape shifting (like in the movies) doesn’t happen anymore.
Just when Bento gets comfortable with his surrogate family and meets the girl of his dreams, his world is torn apart when he shapes shifts into a flesh eating beast on his sixteenth birthday. Is he an uncontrollable monster that will never have the love of his girl? How can he keep his girlfriend and family safe from his beast within? And who is the mysterious stranger stalking them?
My 43,380 word YA paranormal novel, Seventh Son, explores not only Bento’s monster but also the monsters we all keep hidden away.
I have attended many SCBWI sponsored conferences, as well as Writer’s Boot Camp, and online classes. I’ve written monthly articles for X Magazine. I participated as a nominated mentee in the Rutgers One on One Mentoring Workshop and was fortunate to work with author, Joyce McDonald as my mentor. In the past, I was represented by agent X of X Literary Agency.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 5% request rate
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Pretty good query, good structure. I felt the blurb was a little hard to follow; I could not understand the world-building here. I also felt the market is a bit flooded with were/shapeshifter material, but not sure an agent would think so. Good ‘about me’ para.
Mira says
Dear Author,
Oh, I like this. Werewolves are hot right now. I like the sexual underpinings of meeting a girl, and fighting to have that not transform him into a mindless beast. There’s something subtlely sexy in general about your story that appeals in terms of marketability to teens as well.
I sat on this for a couple of days. I decided not to request a partial, for the simple fact that I’m guessing it’s not yet published. Could be wrong, of course. I think this has alot of potential.
The Latino element is interesting. I think some agents are specifically looking for books that will bring readership in, so that could be a plus as well. That’s not meant to be discriminatory – hope I’m not offending – I’m just musing about marketability. But really, how would I know?
Your query is well-written, and you’re a good enough author to be among the few with any representation at all( congrats!) You may have a real winner here.
Best of luck – I absolutely wish you the best!
Mira
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
ccallicotte4 says
Thank you for sending me your query for BOOK TITLE. I appreciate you considering me.
I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it, as I feel I would not be the best agent to represent your work. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.
Best of luck to you.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this just didn’t grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Not different enough to stand out in its genre. Voice of query doesn’t interest me. Pages may have helped.)
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Note: I think you could find an agent for this idea. Feel free to mock me when someone else picks it up. Good luck!)
Nifaerie Noven says
Hi!
I’d love to accept your piece, except that it is a bit too short. If you can lengthen it to 50k-70k, please re-query. Also, please mention something of the style in which it is written.
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for SEVENTH SON for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I found your premise to be very interesting, but I’m afraid I can’t offer to read more. I just don’t have time to read everything that sounds promising. I wish you the best in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
(Rejecting this was the toughest choice I had to make. I really did want to read this one, and would have requested it if I could request six novels rather than five.)
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Seventh Son.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that your story is right for me.
Best,
S
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
Rebecca Knight says
Dear Seventh Son,
Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. Unfortunately, I feel that I’m not the best fit for your project. This industry is highly subjective, so I’m sure others will feel differently. Best of luck to you in all your endeavors.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Knight
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
*Note: I think the teenaged boy as raging hormonal beast has been done, and I am not sure that the author has shown how this will be a unique retelling
Jenn S. says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. It’s not right for me, but please keep me in mind for future submissions.
Regards,
Jenn S.
(Reason: The plot and characters seemed too generic. Plus I am wondering why the previous agent parted ways with the author.)
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Jada says
Form rejection.
Reason: Werewolves seem to be a popular topic at the moment, so this one would need to stand out. For me, it doesn’t.
The Spidermonkey says
Thank you for your query, which I have considered carefully. I’m sorry to say I can’t represent you at this time.
There are far too many teen supernatural stories around, and I’m afraid yours just doesn’t stand out sufficiently.
This is a subjective opinion of course, and others may see it differently. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be very well conceived, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses. However, after a revision of your query letter and manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Seventh Son – for my consideration. May I say that I enjoyed reading your query. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this particular book – a fact that has more to do with pressures on the time and resources at my disposal rather than on the book itself. Best wishes for your future endeavours, both with this book and with future projects. Agent Rik.
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting SEVENTH SON for my consideration.
I don’t think young adults think werewolves, vampires, and all the other things that go bump in the night are overdone, so I am interested in reading more.
Please send the manuscript for further consideration.
Sincerely,
AgentforDay
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I’m afraid I have to pass at this time.
Good luck with your writing.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
EJN says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this premise has been done before, and there was nothing in your query showing me how your novel would stand out in the crowded marketplace. I encourage you to keep working on your query before submitting it to other agents, because you may be selling your novel short.
Best of luck,
Agent EJN
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me.
Although your query was well written, the premise has been done so many times that your idea would really need to stand out before I’d be willing to take a chance on it. Sadly, it’s not there yet. Good luck with your continued search for literary representation.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
donnas says
Thank you for your submission. While the plot is intriguing I do not feel I can give your work the attention it deserves at this time.
Best of luck.
Sarah says
Dear Author #34,
I regret that I cannot offer representation- and that my other obligations necessitate using this form letter.
Tastes and opinions vary, so I encourage you to query widely. I wish you the best of luck as you continue to pursue publication.
Warmly,
Sarah, Literary Agent for a Day
Reasons:
The query seemed to start way before the actual story and conflict. The story is a bit short for YA.
Hilabeans says
Dear Author,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.
Best wishes,
HHS
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink. Unfortunately, Seventh Son is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query for “Seventh Son.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Best wishes in your search for (actual) representation,
Owl Sprite
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query is not good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / SEVENTH SON / YOUR NAME. I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
2readornot says
I’m sorry, but this isn’t for me. I’m afraid inter-species mating isn’t my thing. Good luck!
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
Sara J. Henry says
Vaguely encouraging rejection[Reasons: Just doesn’t grab me, and I’m confused that he’s told that shape-shifting doesn’t occur anymore – but then he shape shifts when he turns 16.
I’d sharpen this letter, and wouldn’t mention the previous agent rep until later – before an offer of representation, of course.]
Kathy says
Thank you for your query.
I’m afraid it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Kathy