This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
I’m writing today to introduce my literary novel, BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY, the story of a man who is emotionally lost and finds that he must understand his forgotten past to forge a meaningful path to his future. It has 70,000 words.
Charlie Waters is just staggering through life when he begins to have recurring erotic dreams about a beautiful woman he doesn’t recognize. His best guess is that she might be from his mysterious past. Two years earlier, while reeling from the discovery of his wife’s affair, Charlie went to Los Angeles on business and disappeared. Six weeks later, he emerged from a coma in a Miami hospital with a gunshot wound to the head and no memory of the previous several months.
Besides the dreams of the woman, Charlie begins to experience flashbacks and bits of memory from the time he disappeared. These clues of sex, passion, greed, suicide, and murder come unbidden and out of chronological order, often jarring him both mentally and physically, and they threaten to drive him mad. His wife, a psychiatrist, tries to reach out to him and help, but Charlie can’t figure out which is worse–knowing or not knowing. As Charlie struggles to reconnect with his wife and form some sense of a life again, he knows he can’t move forward until he comes to grips with his past.
I’ve had several short stories published in the past, and I have written book reviews for [redacted] for the last seven years.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 10% request rate
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Not a bad query; I’m short on slots though. I felt the storyline was intriguing and I liked the characters. The blurb could be condensed to two shorter paras, I felt.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I enjoyed your story and am interested in representing you. Please send me your full manuscript.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Quintus Blackburn
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I think that your story seems like it has publishing potential, and I would like to have the full manuscript.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I think your novel has real potential, please send me a full manuscript for further review.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I think that you have a very interesting book and I would like to read view more. Please send me the full manuscript.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Mira says
Dear Author,
I really like this and sat on it for a couple of days. There’s something about your competent writing style that I really like. It makes me think that your book and the writing in it could be very well crafted.
I think the story is good – elements of mystery, sex, psychological twists. Sort of a lower key psychological thriller/character study/literary work combo.
This isn’t so crucial, but I also really like the title.
Your query gave me the definite impression that you write well. I’ve decided not to request a partial, though, out of a guess that you’re not one of the published three. I could be wrong, of course.
I think an agent who likes literary fiction might really get behind this one. It’s exciting to hear you’ve published short stories. That’s very cool, and lends credibility and exposure.
Good luck – I wish you the very best!
Mira
Megan says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your time, but I will have to decline.
Best of luck,
Meg Spencer
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
Nifaerie Noven says
Hi,
Your query sounds very promising. I am certain you will find representation soon, however, due to the unusual time line of the story, I do not think that I am the right agent for this piece.
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Beneath The Heart Of Beauty.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
*I think this one has potential, but the query didn’t snap like I felt it should
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Unfortunately, this is not a project I feel I can sucessfully represent. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Jada says
Form rejection.
Reason: This query is fine, it just doesn’t grab me personally.
Vic K says
Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I’m going to take a pass at this time.
Vic K
Reason; At the end of the day, I wasn’t caught up enough in the concept.
The Spidermonkey says
Thank you for your query, which I have considered carefully. I’m sorry to say I can’t represent you at this time.
I’m afraid your story just doesn’t grab me.
This is a subjective opinion of course, and others may see it differently. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Interesting premise, but not for me, thanks.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project is built on an interesting premise, the story does not feel unique or compelling at this time. However, after a revision of your query letter and manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
Martin Willoughby says
Dear Author,
Please send an MS at your earliest convenience.
Regards,
H Lecter
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Beneath the Heart of Beauty – for my consideration. May I say that I enjoyed reading your query. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this particular book – a fact that has more to do with pressures on the time and resources at my disposal rather than on the book itself. Best wishes for your future endeavours, both with this book and with future projects. Agent Rik.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Please forward your complete manuscript for further consideration.
Thank you, PLJ
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY for my consideration. I am interested in reading more.
Please send the manuscript for further consideration.
Sincerely,
AgentforDay
Anahita says
Dear author:
Please send me your manuscript. Thanks for sharing your query.
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me.
Although the 2nd paragraph is intriguing, the query as a whole is not focused enough to make me want more. You need to make the hook clear right from the beginning. Feel free to requery after you’ve made revisions.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
Hilabeans says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your recent submission. Please send me your full manuscript as a .doc, .docx, .rtf, or .pdf attachment immediately.
I look forward to reading your work!
Sincerely,
HHS
hilary@hilaryheskett.com
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink. Unfortunately, BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
—–
I really struggled with this one. I thought the premise was good and enjoyed the writing, but ultimately I had to pass.
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I have used up all my picks for the contest. Consequently, I did not read your letter. So this rejection has absolutely nothing to do with you, simply that I am out of picks and out of time to spend giving feedback.
So very sorry.
Best wishes in your search for representation,
Owl Sprite
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query is not good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY / YOUR NAME. I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel your book is right for me. Good luck with your search.
Best,
S
2readornot says
Although this sounds interesting, I’m afraid it’s not a genre I represent. Good luck!
Kathy says
Thank you for your query, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on this project.
Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that your story is the right fit for me.
Best of luck.
Saint_Fool
That Girl says
Dear Author,
After reading your query for BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY, I would like to read the complete manuscript. Please send it as an email attachment at your earliest convenience.
Regards,
That Agent Girl
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. As you’ve called your book a literary novel, I was hoping to see a little about what made it such instead of simply being adult fiction. If you resubmit your query with more information on that vein, I’ll be happy to look at it, but for now I have to pass.
Diana says
Great premise and well-written query, it was just a little too nebulous for me. Best of luck!
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter and for thinking of me for representation of BENEATH THE HEART OF BEAUTY. While your novel sounds intriguing, I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to pursue it further with you. I wish you all the best in securing other representation.
Regards,
R. Markiam