This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
Have you ever wondered why rhetorical questions seldom involve jelliquariums?
This is my first novel, DADI’S GAME. It takes place on two coasts and three continents, including modern-day San Francisco and pre-Independence Bombay, spanning five generations.
Half American, half Indian journalist Raven is laid off from her job right before her previously estranged grandmother, Dadi, dies. Unsure of her future, Raven travels from California to Bombay with her bratty cousin Malvika to learn more about her father’s country and her grandmother’s past.
As they interview relatives, the women learn that Dadi, whom they remember as religious and puritanical, had lived a surprisingly rich life, traveling the globe and participating in India’s struggle for independence alongside her husband.
The cousins’ curiosity leads them north from Bombay, with a stopover at the Ganges to dispose of Dadi’s remains, to meet a former servant who lives in the Himalayan foothills. The woman, whom Dadi called Didi, meaning “sister,” recalls an unconsummated relationship with a British tennis partner that haunted Dadi throughout her life.
Dadi’s conflict is with herself. Steeped in tradition and competing with the idealized women of Hindu mythology, most notably Kunti, she struggles even as a widow with her marriage, since Hindu wedding ceremonies bind couples for not one lifetime, but seven.
While Raven discovers no jelliquariums along the way, there are puzzles hidden within the text, one relating to the story and the other a purely mathematical game. The initial clue to this aspect of the novel is written in iambic riddles on the first page. “Dadi’s Game” is an equivoque.
This novel may appear at first glance like “The Joy Luck Club” meets “The Namesake,” since its first-person narrative is told from the perspectives of Rekha, Malvika and Didi. Despite that, the story has more in common with A.S. Byatt’s “Possession.” If you are familiar with the Indian tale of “The Blind Men and the Elephant” or the story of “The Lady and the Tiger,” those apply here as well.
The book would fall under the genres of historical fiction and women’s fiction, since much of the novel’s action takes place in the 1930s-1950s and the story touches on women’s issues that change with the times, such as Havelock Ellis’ ideas on birth control in 1930s Britain.
I queried you first because your MySpace page says you enjoy books that take place in far-off places and that you wish you had represented verse-lover Vikram Seth. Plus, there’s a tennis tournament in the novel that might appeal to the sports fan in you.
As for my qualifications, my grandparents were both active participants in the “Quit India” movement during the country’s struggle for Independence. My grandfather was imprisoned by the British, and I grew up on stories from those years.
I travel between India and the United States regularly, and have spent enough time in Europe on stopovers to have favorite restaurants and neighborhoods. My last trip to India was in November, when I was there for the Bombay terror attacks. I have no mathematical qualifications, but the math in this story is not complex; I would say the game can be understood with an elementary-school education.
Thank you for taking the time to read my query.
Author
STATS: 11% request rate
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for DADI’S GAME for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Getabo Publishing says
YOU MADE MY TOP 5!
*****
Thank you for your recent query. Your story DADI’S GAME appeals to me at various levels and I would like to read a partial of your work.
Please submit to me by email your first thirty pages or as close to this as possible at the end of a chapter or natural break.
Please remember to include your original query at the bottom of the e-mail.
I will respond with the outcome, whether requesting your manuscript in full or not, within thirty days.
Sincerely.
The Big Editor
Getabo Creative Publishing
Inkblot says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I am passing on it. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.
Regards,
Agent Inky
Oddly, this question drew me in… But the rest of the query felt a bit unfocussed. I think the actual concept has potential, though.
Annie Reynolds says
Dear author
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to the A.F. A.D. agency. Unfortunately I do not believe your novel is a good fit at this time, but please remember that this is a very subjective industry, so keep trying.
Good luck with your career.
Yours truly,
Annie Reynolds.
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Fascinating concept. As you know I love a good puzzle. However I am not convinced that your treatment of this material is focused sufficiently to deliver on the tease. What is the word count on this expansive geographic junket?
In addition, you need your own vision and voice without obvious connection to The Joy Luck Club, the lady or the tiger. What is the kernal of your story? How does it connect Dadi and Raven? What’s next for Raven?
I am going to pass on this submission, but I wish you well as you continue to shape your narrative for other agents.
Sincerely,
Honesty is the Best Policy
Mega says
I thank you for sending me your query but it isn’t right for me at this time.
-MV
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I didn’t like it. Try again later.
Backdoor Trojan
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry, but this story is not right for me. Thanks for sending me your request, I really appreciate it. Please continue writing.
Veronica Lovette
Anonymous says
I appreciate you sending me this, but I’m going to pass.
S. Pancake
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I liked your story and I would like to hear more about it.
Sincerely,
Mitsubishi
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I appreciate the query but your book is not what I am looking for at the moment. However, I wish you luck in getting this book published.
Best regards,
Nathaniel Orange
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but it isn’t for me at this time. Best of luck with it elsewhere!
Agent
Reasoning: Far too long and involved blurb, which I also found very confusing. The first para with its question seems completely unrelated to the query. Comparisons to other works don’t seem like a good idea. Personal information unrelated to the project is unneeded.
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
Its a very topical and saleable premise, so passing on this was difficult for me. Shorten the query up and you will get more interest, in my opinion.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I’m intrigued! Please send me a fifty-page partial.
AM
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Katalina Marie says
Dear Author,
I’m sorry but I don’t think that this book is the one for me.
Regards,
Katalina Marie
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Anonymous says
please send manuscript.
Agent Edgar Leroy 3rd
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
CarrieK says
Dear Author of DADI’S GAME,
Thank you for your query. You had me at jelliquariums. Please send me the first 3 chapters of your manuscript and a synopsis.
Thank you, and I look forward to reading more.
CarrieK
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Note: The query is a bit too long. A little tightening would have helped sway me. Good luck!)
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. I encourage you to query other agents and wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
Agent C
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting DADI’S GAMES for my consideration.
At first I found the use of a rhetorical question involving jelliquariums intentionally obnoxious. But then, I found myself forgiving you.
Excellent voice, well written, and I want to know more.
Since you don’t mention the word count, I suppose I better only ask for a partial.
Please send the first 200 pages of your manuscript posthaste.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Dadi’s Game.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with your continued search for literary representation.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
(Reasoning: This query was far too long, and since no word count was included, I could only assume the manuscript would be as well.)
PCB says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
PCB
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
Melissa says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. The premise is intriguing! Please send me the first 50 pages and a synopis.
Thank you,
Melissa (Ximera)
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
*Note: there is much here I found interesting, but thought the query was too sprawling and unfocused and worried the novel would be the same. I wouldn’t mind seeing the author tighten the query up (and perhaps the novel as well, if warranted)
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Unfortunately, this is not a project I feel I can sucessfully represent. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Hildegarde512 says
Dear Author,
I am very pleased you chose to submit to us and am interested in reading more of your work.
If I were a real agent, instructions for sending the requested material would live here.
Agent FaD Jen says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass. Good luck,
Agent FaD Jen
Hallie says
Dear Author #24,
Thank you for your query. I’d like to request a copy of your manuscript (and submission instructions go here). It usually takes me about a month from the time I receive the file to read and consider manuscripts and reply. Thank you again!
Warm regards,
Hallie
Vic K says
Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I’m going to take a pass at this time.
Vic K
Reason; I found the plot a little convoluted to follow. At the end of the day I wasn’t caught up in the concept enough.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. I can see this being picked up elsewhere, but unfortunately I have to pass.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be well conceived, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses; however, after a revision of your query letter and/or partial manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
P.S. I think the plot has great potential, but the query needs tightening. I would also need to know the length of the novel. Lastly, I would recommend leaving out the bit about the jelliquarium, unless it actually is relevant. If it is, it requires explanation. Red herrings don’t belong in queries.
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Dadi’s Game – for my consideration. May I say that I enjoyed reading your query. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this particular book – a fact that has more to do with pressures on the time and resources at my disposal rather than on the book itself. Best wishes for your future endeavours, both with this book and with future projects. Agent Rik.
Kevin W says
Dear Author:
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. I am pleased to be contacting you to request the submission of a full manuscript of DADI’S GAME as well as any additional information regarding the puzzles as you may feel is prudent. This is for my consideration prior to agreeing to represent you.
Well done, this could be your first step towards becoming a published author.
Kevin W