If you’re reading this blog you have an intimate familiarity with the tendencies, biases, and at times irrational peeves that swim around in my head. My condolences.
But what turns you off as a reader? When you’re reading a book, what drives you up the wall?
Precocious young adult narrators.
A lack of care and interest. That sense I sometimes get where the writer is “typing” it in and not even going over what they’ve written to see what they’ve done, or standing back and asking themselves those important questions? Patricia Cornwall started typing it in after her second novel and by the fifth I’d had way enough.
Successful genre writers fall into this trap often; but even a hack, as Bram Stoker proved, can write an entertaining absorbing book, so long as they are truly interested and care about they’re doing. Their passion and dedication can override considerations of style.
Not everyone can be Shakespeare or Nabokov nor should they be. I’m sure as hell not! But I still work to make sure every word, every detail, every sentence, the plot, the story and the setting are the best I can give.
I hate, with the concentrated hatred of a thousand hate-filled suns, characters who have purple eyes. Or Mary Sues of any kind.
Also I hate inaccuracies (authors shouldn’t leave me thinking, ‘this shouldn’t be happening, they should have died fifty pages ago!’). Another pet peeve is ignorance of scientific laws covered up by “magic,” and ignorance of historical trends covered up by “it’s a different world.” An example of the latter is an extremely tolerant society that resembles in all other ways medieval or Renaissance Europe, except for the social progress of, say, modern days.
Wow – I’m scoring with Erik!
That’s the second post of mine you’ve approved of. (Other was Mayan Calendar).
Apropos of the Sick Sadistic Sh*t-heads, allow me to add – when authors make you care about characters and then do weird terrible things to them for no particular reason except to ramp up the sensationalism.
Also, books with Bears on Unicycles. I can think of one author who has committed both of these sacrileges.
Awkward introductory or expository material for the sake of familiarizing the reader with something the character already knows.
To wit: “I walked down the smooth sidewalks of the Grosse Pointe suburb of Detroit, a part of town particularly known for its residents’ wealth.”
AGH! Just have the character walk through Grosse Pointe. I’ll figure the rest out from context. If you don’t suck as a writer.
Deus ex machina endings and
Very. Short. Sentences.
I think dream sequences are often a cheap way to “show not tell,” but it’s not realistic. My dreams are a mish-mash potpourri of things that have happened recently, not a clean, recurring storyline in which I face or avoid a confrontation that is tormenting me in real life.
And I agree with Caroline on the eyes thing: Unless they’re wearing tinted contacts, no one in real life has emerald green eyes. No one. Grayish-green or hazel? Sure. Emerald green? Nope.
Incorrect use of commas.
Scream!
Grammatically or syntactically incorrect use of Spanish in an English-language work. Seriously, can’t these big publishing houses afford one person on staff to check the Spanish? And no, just because the author thinks he knows Spanish pretty well because he served a mission in BRAZIL does not make it true.
Transparent political soapboxing.
Deliberate obfuscation.
Head-jumping.
Tone in Spanish dialogue that is inconsistent with the tone in the English dialogue. Like there is no cursing in English the book, but the bilingual characters drop cabrón and cojones as if it were nothing.
Will someone please explain what “head-jumping” is? Thanks.
I agree with Eric-Paul on overuse of unusual words, but they don’t have to be the ten-cent variety. One of my fave authors used the word “clot” in a non-medical way four or five times in the same book, and every time the irritation multiplied exponentially.
Poor proofreading is also tops on my list, along with cutesy names, obvious factual errors, continual passive sentences and a patronizing tone in exposition.
Typos.
misogyny
The Plot-From-A-Box…. this happens usually with over-published writers. The first few you read are great. Then, around book three, you realize the author is recycling the same plot and changing names. I’ll put down the book and stop buying the author.
Stupid Characters………. When the character does something mind-numbingly dumb for the sake of the plot or because the author can’t think of anything else to do, I throw the book at the wall.
Excessive typos and errors……. I know the final write-up of books gets farmed out for printing. But a misplaced typo ruins a book, and I blame the publisher.
Historical errors………… If I read something in a historical setting I want the facts to be right. I want the characters to be believable in the setting, even if it means they all go to one church and kneel before a king or worship Diana and enjoy chariot races. There is no excuse for getting it wrong.
Crusaders……. Don’t preach to me. I have my beliefs, I don’t read to have an author change them (at least not fiction). Religious themed books set my teeth on edge, the ones that are anti-religous and overly liberal are worse.
Cursing…….. I do not need a profanity eevry three words. Thanks!
Sotck characters and cliches…… yeah… just don’t. Do us all a favor and erase any mention of heaving bossom/this brushing that/bitter old man/dazzling blonde cheerleader from your writing. I want real characters to know and love, not cardboard cutouts.
Okay, excessive list. Sorry! I’m having trouble finding a good book I can get lost in this week. Anyone have some suggestions?
Head-jumping is when a tight-third person narration switches from focusing on one character to another without any sort of a section break.
Jim watched his wife walk across the patio and grinned at her receding back. She didn’t suspect a thing. Just another month before the insurance policy vested, and he could do away with her and be a rich man.
She had everything now, didn’t she? A successful career as a real estate novelist, a beautiful house, three cats, and, finally, someone to share it all with. So why wasn’t she happy? Susan dug through the assortment of beers and sodas in the cooler until she found what she was looking for. Ah, Coors. She was about to pull the can out when she froze. Something was wrong. She could feel it.
In 3rd person limited you’re supposed to be getting the story from one character’s perspective, so you should not be privy to thoughts or actions that that character cannot observe.
So many already spoken for… but I'll add a few:
– cliches or over-used phrases. (You're a writer, aren't you? Use some creative words of your own!)
– inconsistencies in the character, narration, voice or rules of the world. (This is YOUR story — you should know it inside & out!)
– fantasy-narrative, by which I do not mean the genre, but any story where the author is CLEARLY writing about a person, dialogue, circumstance, setting, etc. that is their own, personal fantasy-come-to-life and expect me to swallow it. (I have my own kinks, thank you.)
Dropping me off in a brand new world at the start of the story, and then proceeding to give me ten million made up words without explaining any of them.
I prefer to wade in.
I hate verb-based fragments, especially when used in a series.
He wouldn’t walk. Wouldn’t talk. Wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t sing.
I wouldn’t read on.
Too much description.
I find myself skipping over all the “flowery” description just to get to the plot of the story.
I don’t want to know how the wind was lightly blowing across your shoulders as you walked ever so slowly through the forest, gazing up at the ominous clouds overhead. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
Am I the only one that is bothered by this?
A heart specialist in a hospital near me has emerald green eyes. Sorry,Anon, they do exist.
On the other hand…
I find that I’m more generous with authors now that I am a writer. The stuff that used to tick me off — like many of the things listed above — I now overlook. Who knows how an editor has urged the writer to change, this, this, and that… and how much of it had to be done on a tight DEADLINE? How much of it had to be plugged in to make sense of a new ending or a new plot point?
If I don’t like a book in the first 25 pags I simply stop reading, wish that author well, and move on to a different book.
I’d have to say not allowing the character to tell the story. For instance, Laurrell K. Hamilton has a bad habit in her Anita Blake series of narrating out a specific point, immediately before she has the characters indulge in dialogue about – wasting time and space with repetition without moving the story along. BIG pet peeve.
Not getting my money’s worth…
Bad editing. About 18 years ago, fresh out of college with a degree in English and Communications, I was trying to enjoy my last free summer month reading a book by a famous mystery writer who shall remain unnamed… I finally took a red pen to the pages and scratched out several grammatical, spelling and typographical errors. I didn’t bother to finish the book and I mailed it to the publisher.
Also, lack of diaglogue puts me to sleep.
Poor grammar and typos. I mean, I understand that everyone makes mistakes, but these are professionally edited pieces of art. When I see a typo or bad grammar, sometimes it’s the only thing I see on the page.
Overly sentimentalised sex scenes, or sex scenes just for the sake of HAVING sex scenes. If it doesn’t add anything to the story or character development – or if it’s full of “her eyes were pools of desire” wishwash – it just irritates me.
Oh, so many pet peeves…
Undisciplined writing that shouts “Look at me! Look at me! I’m so clever!” is high on my list.
This somewhat echoes what’s been said but:
It is very frustrating to read unpolished writing in print. As writers, many of us face rejections almost daily. We familiarize ourselves with the rules: no passive language, no negative language, show don’t tell, no adverbs and adjectives, etc. We go over our manuscript dozens of times searching for these flaws and chopping away at it for months. Then it gets rejected on the basis of some missed detail or hasty judgment. Usually it’s something that makes us think, “but didn’t you read page TWO?”
And then we pick up the latest Huge International Bestseller and find elementary, amateurish writing that doesn’t even appear to have been edited.
I’m not saying it’s all that way, but it happens. Not every bestselling book is the work of a great writer. Industry is about making money; fame is unfortunately more important than talent or polish. That is what frustrates me most.
Anything too cute.
When the writer has the protag or any other character constantly correcting the other characters grammar.
Come on already. I am not reading this fiction novel for a grammar lesson. Move on.
Book Covers.
1) Ones which misrepresent the book's content.
2) Sexually graphic ones, especially if it's not Erotica. A naked guy on the cover makes me think it's porn. It does not make me think it's going to be a darn good story with a riveting plot and multi-dimensional characters.
3) Endless Parade of Sameness. Every other Romance novel has a naked male chest on it and many of those pictures are of the same cover model. Sure, he's hot, but let's hear it for variety!
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Unbelievable Heroes. Puh-leeze. I've been married a long time to a real man whom I adore. I know the difference!
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Dark & Gritty. That's probably not a pet peeve. I'm just sick of it and ready for some fun and adventure in my reading.
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The segregation of African American authors in bookstores.
Omniscient POV. Major heading-hopping all throughout book; sometimes a sentences has to be analyzed to see what the heck is going on. Then, after a preposterous game, & zipping through the book, everything is wrapped up in a THE final chapter.
No clue as to *how* it happened. I think in one book, a heroine ended up marrying a cousin from the past. Oh, charming. Not. Solution: fling book against a wall and let it lie in shame.
boring writing style
boring description
uninteresting or unreal characters – when you can tell that they aren’t from the location the author says they are from
short books that still cost $25
memoirs that aren’t original
memoirs that don’t explain how they went from a drug -parented childhood, did drugs themselves and end up with a great job in a field they didn’t study – in other words, the most important and interesting part of memoir is left out.
Fabricated twists are one of my biggest pet peeves. I love a good twist, mind you. The bigger the surprise, the redder the herring you were certtain you had pinned, the more enjoyable the payoff is.
But when the twist makes no logical sense, and is only thrown in as an absurdity to be damn sure you couldn’t guess it…that’s a let down. Especially if it’s at the end of a really long novel.
Two expressions that former bosses used to use in their writing: “point with pride” and “at first blush.” Irrationally reactive to these two phrases
First, deus ex machina –
Next, poor English usage and blantantly inappropriate word choice, such as “in lieu of” when “in view of” is meant.
Technical details that are outright wrong. There is no safety on a Glock to take off, the smell of Cordite is interesting, but it hasn’t been used in small arms ammunition for 50 years. It doesn’t take much effort to do technically oriented research, why can’t even best selling authors do it?
Bad copyediting. I want to be a copyeditor as my day job, and all the mistakes in the books drive me absolutely nuts!!
Also, the voice of the story being really young. I’m in danger of getting a lot of this, because I read mostly YA. But, there’s some that I read for teens that sounds like it’s written for a ten year old. That drives me nuts, too.
ManiacScribbler =^..^=
Repetitions. If you’ve already told me the hero is grieving over a lost love so he won’t let himself love again, don’t tell me on every other page.
Anon –
Actually I have one friend who has emerald green eyes, and another who has nearly neon green eyes. They’re striking, and they are 100% real. I have a friend with amber eyes as well. It’s rare but it happens.
Stereotypes. The “strong” character has a “strong chin.” The “weak” character has a “weak chin.” The overweight woman is unhappy and sexless; the tall, slender woman is brilliant and sexy. Freckles equal mischievous and not attractive or sexy. Red hair means a temper and/or meanness or sluttiness, esp. in a girl. A short man is aggressive and defensive, and so on. These kinds of assumptions are akin to discrimination, IMO.
When YA books (which I do read a lot of, amongst other things) use the so called ‘typical’ teen speech too much. Like it’s a cruch their leaning on.
“OMG, AND LIKEEEE…I TOTALLY……”
Gets.On.My.Last.Nerve.
I do genuinely skip past the dialogue.
Information dumps disguised as dialogue.
I am currently reading a work of historical fiction that repeatedly has 4-5 pages of “dialogue” with no other purpose than to fill the reader in on action that took place in an interlude. That just tells me one thing: the writer bit off more than he can chew in this particular work. Break it up! Write a series. Or solve the problem in some other way. But to put all this historical information in a “conversation” is just plain unbelievable.
Bad writing! Today I was reading a mystery by a well known author, a best selling top ten author. The writing was so bad.. alliteration all over the place..what was he thinking? where was the editor..please! I can understand poor plots, or slow plots..but poor sentences, over and over?? ..and then some agent wants to reject a query because a new author uses a well-worn phrase. Kinda messes with the credibility.
What drives me nuts is to read hack phrases and words that I’ve been told are not to be used, because they’re a) overused; b) hackneyed; and/or c) all of the above.
What really, truly irks me is bad editing. Typos, run-on sentences, incorrect punctuation…I’ve even come across major characters’ names being wrong (ie Aunt Nora in Chapter 1, then Aunt Norma in Chapter 6). I even find these things in the paperback edition. Why can’t the publisher hire a good copy editor?
Mundane details that don’t do anything for the story.
She grated the carrots, cut them up, and put them in the pot. Next, she dumped the potatoes onto the counter and began peeling them. Her eyes watered as she sliced the onions. Once the water was boiling, etc. etc. etc.
B – O – R – I – N – G !!! For crying out loud, get to the good part!
Ohmy, I’m late to this party! So far, everybody has expressed many of my own pet peeves.
I’d like to add: Anything written by a celebrity.
Other than that, my biggest PPs are historical inaccuracies, anachronisms, shallow characters and gratuitous sex.
Pages of unrelenting dialogue with too few details about action, setting, speaker’s reactions. Makes me feel that I’m floating in a cloud of boring, busy, buzzy insects.
Mine is weird, but it’s the problem story with just enough characters to solve the problem. There comes a point when I can sit back and assign all the roles in the solution to the folks on the page.
On the other hand, I love it when I do that but turn out to be wrong. Give me the real twist ending every time.