We writers can sometimes get so caught up in our characters and settings that we forget that we are not actually transcribing the events in an alternate world. We are storytelling.
As such, it’s crucial to remember the reader on the other side of the scenes you’re constructing.
In my editing work, I often see writers establish some information, only to force the reader to wade through the same information twice, such as the protagonist relaying what just happened to a secondary character who wasn’t there.
Before I get to some examples and common pitfalls, let me be clear what I’m not saying. Sometimes it’s helpful to repeat information! When you’re bringing back a minor character from the earlier in the novel, smoothly jogging the reader’s memory via the narrative voice can be a helpful way to avoid forcing the reader to flip back through pages to remember who that character is.
But long, painstaking regurgitations of facts that have already been established? The reader will be skimming ahead to get on with it. Here are some common scenes that swiftly drag in novels.
Conversational recaps of the scene we just read
There are plenty of TV shows where we see an event happen, then the characters get together to amusingly rehash it, whether it’s George relaying his various humiliations to Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld or brunch recaps on Sex and the City.
Recaps almost never work in novels.
The act of reading is simply different from sitting back and watching charismatic actors shoot the breeze. Because the reader co-creates the world of the novel in their head, readers are very attuned to why characters are doing what they’re doing, how they’re prioritizing, and are much more eager for characters to simply get on with it.
Not only do recaps feel repetitive, sitting around to rehash what just happened in a longwinded conversation saps momentum and makes it feel like the character couldn’t possibly feel any urgency to accomplish their overarching desire.
Plus, time doesn’t work in the same way in novels as it does in movies and TV. On the screen, a second is usually a second, a minute is a minute, etc. In a novel, you can simply brush past the boring bits to get to the part where the story pushes forward, and the reader won’t even bat an eye.
Characters painstakingly getting up to speed
Once the reader knows a crucial fact, such as the identity of the murderer, it can feel extremely tedious to watch the protagonist trudge through the motions trying to figure out the fact we already know.
Sure. In the world of the novel, the protagonist genuinely doesn’t know who it is, and it would be strange to pretend otherwise. But remember, you’re storytelling. So why did you show us who committed the crime before the protagonist knows? Would it be more interesting for us to find out when the protagonist finds out?
In a novel, particularly first person and third person limited perspectives, the protagonist is a proxy for the reader much more so than in movies and TV. That close mental relationship can make it feel vaguely annoying when we know something the protagonist doesn’t. The reader may start aching for the story to push forward again.
Another version of this issue arises when a character is addled, or from another world (such as an alien who has to be told what love is), and we have to watch them painstakingly get up to speed on common knowledge. Unless a character learning basic facts is just so funny or scintillating it works anyway (like the falling whale in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), chances are it’s going to feel dreary for the character to slowly learn what we already know.
The same scene from a different vantage point without pushing the story forward
In novels with multiple, intersecting point of view characters, sometimes writers will show the same scene from different angles, such as a woman’s POV on a date followed by the man’s view of the same scene.
This can work! But be careful. The repeated version of the scene needs to add an angle we couldn’t have gleaned from the first version of the scene alone, such as a hidden motivation or something that happened out of view of the first character’s POV. And rather than recapping the scene in its entirety, it usually works better to focus on the parts that are genuinely additive, and brushing past what’s mere repetition.
Characters spinning around the same fears or weaknesses
This one is tricky.
You may well have a character who struggles with the same essential weakness or fear over the course of the novel. But it can swiftly feel repetitive if the character experiences the same type of challenge over and over and the intensity doesn’t escalate and the story pushes forward.
This is often a sign that a character isn’t being active enough trying to get what they want. If they’re just spinning around having the same essential thoughts and challenges, they probably aren’t putting enough skin in the game to move the story forward.
Remember, even shy and adrift characters need to at least try, and conflicts and obstacles should increase in intensity over the course of the novel. If the character is stuck facing the same challenges with the same intensity, the novel will feel like it’s stalled out.
Keep pushing the story forward
As you may have noticed, a common thread here is that readers feel hungry for the story to push forward. If you force them to wade through repetition, they’re going to be tempted to skim toward something new happening.
Once again: You’re storytelling.
In a conversation, if you start repeating yourself when you’re telling a story, your listener may interrupt to say, “You already told me that part, what happened next?”
We can’t interrupt the protagonist when we’re reading a novel, as much as we may wish we could. Instead of forcing the reader to inwardly shout Get on with it!, brush past what the reader already knows and, well, get on with it.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
And if you like this post: subscribe to my newsletter!
Art: Portrait of twins from the de Vinck family, aged 9 months by Gilliam van der Hoeven
Leave a Reply