A while back I outlined the general necessity of whittling down your plot to one sentence, one paragraph, and two paragraph pitches in order to give yourself a head start on the literally thousands of times you are going to need to summarize your work over the course of a book’s lifetime.
Today I want to zero in on the one sentence pitch for fiction and memoirs.
How to write a one sentence pitch
In previous iterations of this post, I have emphasized that a one sentence pitch is not something that is going to float or sink your book.
That’s now changing somewhat. In our current challenging marketplace, I’m increasingly seeing agents ask for loglines and emphasizing that they’re looking for high concept plots.
I still stand by the essence of past advice: Just because your book is not easily distilled down to one sentence doesn’t mean you’re dead in the water. And you don’t necessarily have to include a logline in a query letter. But the better your one sentence pitch, the more you’ll help your odds.
The one sentence pitch is the core of all the summarizing you’re going to do in the future. It’s the heart of your book, whittled down to one sentence. It’s what you build around when crafting longer pitches.
And there’s an art to it.
There are four basic elements in a good one sentence pitch:
- The opening conflict (or the Inciting Incident)
- The obstacle
- The quest
- The stakes
The quest can be a physical or interior journey, but it’s what happens to the character(s) between the moment when the plot begins and ends. The opening conflict is the first step in that quest. It’s how the journey begins. The obstacle is what stands in the way of that journey.
The resulting very basic pitch is this:
When INCITING INCIDENT happens to CHARACTER(s), they have OVERCOME OBSTACLE to COMPLETE QUEST in order to/or else STAKES.
I know Star Wars is a movie and not a novel, but everyone’s familiar with the story so it makes for an easy example. You can use the above framework thusly to arrive at a pretty solid one sentence pitch:
When young moisture farmboy Luke Skywalker encounters a mysterious droid who displays a message from a princess in danger, he must learn the mysterious ways of the Force and destroy a fearsome space station called the Death Star in order to save the Galactic Rebellion.
There are lots of different ways of structuring these basic elements, and you don’t necessarily need all four of them present if it makes the pitch unwieldy. But the more the better.
For instance, in the above pitch I included the ultimate quest but not the stakes. If I wanted, I could weave in the stakes instead of the quest like this:
When young moisture farmboy Luke Skywalker encounters a mysterious droid who displays a message from a princess in danger, he must learn the mysterious ways of the Force and destroy a fearsome space station called the Death Star or else evil lord Darth Vader will rule the galaxy forever.
The key to a good pitch: specificity
The important thing to remember is that a good pitch is a specific description of what actually happens in your novel.
It’s a one sentence description of the plot, not the theme.
So for instance, in my pitch about Star Wars, I’m not emphasizing that it’s a “coming of age” story, even though it is one. “Coming of age” is a really vague theme that can apply to thousands of stories so it ends up telling us extremely little about your novel. Those are completely wasted words in a one sentence pitch.
Instead, just demonstrate that it’s a coming of age story by focusing on the specifics. When I say Luke Skywalker is a young moisture farmboy who must learn and do some difficult-sounding things, it’s self-evident that it could be considered a coming of age story without using those literal words.
Push themes out of your mind. They’re just not helpful. They stop you from utilizing your story specifics and the resulting pitch inevitably ends up sounding generic.
A good pitch for the memoir Eat Pray Love is not “A recently divorced woman searches for love and happiness.” That sounds like, well, a million books published every year. A better pitch would be “A recently divorced woman travels to Italy for pleasure, India for spirituality, and Bali for balance, but she finds love instead.” That’s what actually happens.
Vagueness will kill a one sentence pitch. Every single word counts. Tell us what actually happens in your story, don’t zoom out to abstractions.
Add flavor
Once you’ve gotten the essence of your one sentence pitch down, try to add a dash of flavor. Flesh out your pitch with key details that give a sense of the character of your novel (funny, scary, intense, tragic, etc.), which goes a long way to giving a sense of your story’s unique personality.
I tried my best to live by the philosophy I have detailed above for my Jacob Wonderbar one sentence pitch:
Three kids trade a corndog for a spaceship, blast off into space, accidentally break the universe, and have to find their way back to their little street where all the houses look the same.
In addition to including as many elements of the four elements as I could, I didn’t just say “Three kids find a spaceship,” which is a true but flat/basic way of describing what happens. Instead, I utilize the (literally) flavorful plot point that they trade a corndog for the spaceship to give a more vivid sense that this is a wacky children’s novel.
Again: Every word counts. Keep trying to swap out what’s vague for what’s specific. Then try to swap out what’s specific for what’s flavorful.
Once you have your one sentence pitch down pat, you can build off it and add more detail for your longer pitches, and the rest of your descriptions will be gravy. On corndogs. Yum.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
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Art: Paar im Gespräch by Simon Glücklich
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED May 20, 2010
Joanne Bischof says
Its a terrible feeling when someone, especially someone in the industry asks you what your book is about and you say "uh…" Thanks for laying it out so clearly. I love the concept of adding flavor!
Thanks
Remilda Graystone says
Thanks! I needed to read a post like this because I've been having problems with the pitch for my current WIP. Now I have an idea of how I can actually begin.
Thanks, again.
April Wendy Hollands says
Another really helpful post, written in an easy-to-understand AND easy-to-follow-in-yer-footsteps way. Thanks Nathan.
Jaydee Morgan says
That's a very simple way of breaking it down – and one that doesn't seem quite so intimidating.
salarsenッ says
Love the simple diagram. Already copied it on that sticky note in my head. Felt like I was in freshman English, again. Thanks for the time warp. Seriously, the more plainly put for me the better.
Kudos!!
Jennifer says
Nathan, what about multiple POV novels like White Teeth or The Corrections???
Nathan Bransford says
jennifer-
Then it's time to get creative. I think it's a matter of picking out some key elements or generalizing a bit more and filling in whatever specifics are possible. Easier said than done, I know.
Talei says
Brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing your expertise I've learnt alot this week from your posts! 😉
Candyland says
Excellent! Easy tips to boil it down:)
Amanda Sablan says
And now it's my turn to craft that perfect pitch. Your tips will certainly help. Thank you. 🙂
Marilyn Peake says
Love your one-sentence pitch for JACOB WONDERBAR! And I agree about EAT, PRAY, LOVE. A couple of days ago, I saw a trailer for the movie that mentioned those three key elements of the book (although, since it was a movie trailer, there was more than one sentence). I’ve seen the book cover a gazillion times, but once I realized the story was about three types of very interesting travel experiences, I immediately purchased the book.
Thanks for breaking down the three key steps in writing a one-sentence pitch. That’s very helpful!
Maureen says
Great post, thanks for putting it so simply — that makes it so much easier to understand and craft THE sentence.
Steph says
As usual, super helpful. I have been struggling with this a lot recently, thanks for breaking it down as simple as possible!
Ishta Mercurio says
Great post, as always. Nice and clear – thanks!
And I'd like to add that working out your one sentence pitch can be an important writing and revision tool. Being able to identify the core elements of your novel can help you stay focused during the writing process, and helps you identify unnecessary elements during the revision process. At least, that's what it's been doing for me this week! And that goes for all forms of writing, I think, from lengthy novels right down to 32-page picture books.
Nicole L Rivera says
Awesome post. You are the first person to actually explain how to write a pitch. Most people simply suggest to go look at the one line in bold print on the back of the book. I literally went to a book store and took pictures of these one liners with my IPhone. I went home and studied them and still felt lost. I really needed this post. I'm going to print it out and keep it in my notebook 🙂
Magdalena Munro says
Well said and I appreciate the pointers! I am a professional recruiter (Disney) and I always conclude interviews with candidates by asking them the simple question, Who Are You? There are a lot of similarities to what you wrote that I look for in a one sentence pitch/response from a candidate and it's nice to see the overlap.
madisonwoods says
Thanks! Your direction made it easier than I thought it'd be to sum it all up in one sentence. But, wow, the sentence is a mouthful 🙂
Meredith says
Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling with this for weeks, and then I read this, sat down and banged out something that encapsulates my WIP perfectly. (Ok, I banged it out, then had to edit it 4 times). But it works now! Thanks!!
lbdiamond says
Lovely! Great tips! 😀
Simon Hay Soul Healer says
Thanks for that. In narrative nonfiction would you replace obstacle with theme? I'm just trying to apply your directions to a series of events.
Simon.
Nathan Bransford says
simon-
It depends on the genre, but usually it would still be as much as possible about what happens. But if it's a particular subject matter, yeah, it could be the subject and the angle, if that makes sense.
Lia Keyes says
Nathan, you darling man, thanks for posting on this topic. It's the subject of #ScribeChat, the weekly chat for writers on Twitter this evening (6 pm PT/9 pm ET). I was going to write a post to introduce the topic on The ScribeChat Review but have been feeling like death warmed up all day. If you have no objections, I'll do a short intro and link to your post here instead, as you've done such a great job, as always!
The one-sentence pitch is a truly valuable tool. I found myself sitting next to an editor from a major publishing house at dinner during the Big Sur Workshop and when she asked what I was writing I used a quick pitch, not wanting to bore her, and as I left at the end of the meal she asked me to submit it to her.
At the SCBWI conference a film manager asked me for what the movie industry calls a logline (the one sentence pitch) and liked it enough to request a one page synopsis.
But four years ago, when I first started writing this book, I couldn't have done it. Sometimes you have to know your book very well before you can identify the heart of it.
Claudie says
Thanks for that post, Nathan!
I have a tendency to write books with multiple central characters and thinning it all down to a sentence is a hardship. This will be a great deal of help.
You rock!
Anonymous says
Thanks, the last post on the subject led me to do exactly what you described today.
My first really intelligent effort at a query resulted. It's very similar to selling used cars and nothing at all like writing a novel. Until now I've been trying to re-write my novel as a paragraph.
tjpfau
T. Anne says
This helps.
My sentence seems a bit paragraphish though. I'll have to iron out the bugs.
Olivia Herrell says
Great post, thanks for your instructions!
Elizabeth Briggs says
Great post. Maybe you could also do a few 1 sentence pitch critiques on a Monday (since that seems to be critique day now).
Susan Kaye Quinn says
I didn't want to believe you, that it could be this simple. But it was – it took about a half an hour, but my logline when from really? to rockin'.
Darn you Mr. Bransford, must you always be right? 🙂
Tambra says
The best advice I was given was to look at how the TV guide summarizes movies.
It really helped give me a starting point to work with.
Wish I had Nathan's advice when I started having to write the pitches.
Thank you, Nathan. I'll go back and check the one-liners I already have and save the instructions for a future time.
Best,
Tambra
Angelica R. Jackson says
I tried this a while ago and came up with one I mostly like:
After escaping a treacherous attack at sea, Isabelle Brandt is determined to see justice for her murdered friends—-only to face imprisonment and hanging as the killers accuse her in turn.
The main problem is, there's no room in it for the ghosts that appear in my book!
ryan field says
You explained this well. I enjoyed it and I'm going to be practicing it in the future.
wendy says
Nathan, I second the request to do a sentence critique next Monday. And as so few have the opportunity to be critiqued by you, could we also post our sentences for a crit from each other?
Your post today was really helpful, and I'm feeling more optimistic about my one sentence pitch.
Thank you. 🙂
A Pen In Neverland: Angela Peña Dahle says
Fabulous! This is so great I had to retweet it. Thanks! Usually I do pitches and queries first before I sit down to write it all. It helps to flesh it out, It keeps me focused. Anyone else do this?
http://www.a-pen-in-neverland.blogspot.com
Mira says
This is great – you explained it in very clear, simple terms – very readable and easy to apply. Thank you!
I'm wondering – could this translate to queries? It seems like the synopsis part is the most difficult for folks, and that's what this is – especially the two paragraph pitch. If so, this approach could help with what is the hardest part of the query.
Just a thought.
cheekychook says
I was dreading the idea of writing a one sentence pitch but the tips you gave have made it kind of fun. Not corndog-quality kind of fun, but definitely more fun than I originally anticipated. Thanks, as always, for the excellent advice!
Debbie says
What do you suggest for nonfiction books? I know EAT LOVE PRAY was nonfiction but it reads as fiction.
J. T. Shea says
You mean they don't fix the universe? What a bad example for kids! I bet JACOB WONDERBAR'S publication will be followed by a significant upsurge in reported universe breakages!
Sarra, if you've got a greater evil than the zombie apocalypse, spell it out a little! If you've got it, flaunt it! Like Robert McKee's famous eyebrows…
Anna Murray says
Rancher brothers adopt trail-orphaned sisters, fight a range war, nurse their ailing mother, and work to build a family amidst the hardships of post-civil war Montana.
k m kelly says
Hey, and you did it in under 25 words, Nathan. Wonderbar!
Jessica Peter says
Greatly informative. I've been fiddling with mine for a while now, and my one-sentence pitch is technically.. two sentences. I think with this lovely formula, I may be able to make it just one!
hannah says
For BREAK, my one sentence pitch has always been, "Jonah is on a mission to break all his bones." It doesn't have the elements you mentioned, but it's enough to make people go "What the–!?" which is one way to peak interest!
Anonymous says
Around 40 comments and about 90% women — for an article that was not gender slanted.
Houston, we have a demographic problem!
(Q. How many of you gals are writing about vampires?)
Good post though.
neurotype says
The problem I'm having is translating this for a work of literary fiction: at the moment, I'm basically defining character developments as the plot.
Kathryn Paterson says
I'm having sort of the same problem, neurotype, although I'm trying to go more mainstream than literary. But I have three POV characters, each of whom has her own quest. The quests all collide fairly soon, but I'm having a really hard time zeroing in on the "quest" part of the formula. For me the one and two paragraph pitches were much easier. I came up with about eight different one-sentence pitches, all of which I thought sounded good, but none of which actually captured the heart of the novel.
That said, the exercise itself helped me to clarify the catalytic event and some fuzziness in the characters' motivations, so THANKS!
Claire King says
This is a really helpful post. Thanks, Nathan.
crawshawus says
What a great teacher!
Elie says
This is really, really useful. It helps with unravelling plot muddles too!
Thanks.
author Scott Nicholson says
Do you think the character/conflict/quest has to be in any specific order, Nathan? I suppose that lends a natural beginning/middle/end structure but it may take some maneuvering.
Scott Nicholson
Erika Marks says
A great post, Nathan. As someone who is going to have start marketing my debut novel in the next few months, I have been trying hard to come up with the one-sentence pitch and the mention of "flavor" is a helpful one.
Friends or booksellers–everybody wants to know: What's the book about? Of course they do–but funny how it ends up being a challenge to articulate it in a concise way.
Anonymous says
A one sentence pitch! wow that seems hard! Good luck!
S.J.