We’ve finished another trip around the old ball of plasma at the center of our solar system, which means it’s time to reflect and think about what lies ahead. Nearly all of us have had two pretty horrendous years that often felt like an ongoing process of destruction: to our social lives, our civic institutions, a virus out there trying to ravage our bodies.
Even beneath the most obvious damage, there’s been a fraying of trust, people acting badly in public, and a pronounced erosion of our ability to even imagine a better future.
In these conditions, when we’re so tired, when we’ve been just holding things together for so long, despair lurks around every corner.
And yet the rubble presents both a test and an opportunity. There’s a chance to start fresh with something better.
What will you build?
It’s not on social media
I have spent drastically less time on social media in the last six months, and the more distance I get from it, the stranger the daily drama seems when I dip back into it, particularly those in certain publishing ecosystems (cough YA cough).
Now, particularly as someone who is the beneficiary of many privileges derived from societal systems that need to be changed and/or torn down, I want to be clear that not all destruction is bad, not all outrage is misguided, and social shaming can be an effective tool to change behavior. It’s difficult to imagine modern social justice movements without social media. I genuinely believe it can be a positive tool for change when it’s paired with boots on the ground and real offline work.
But so much of the energy expended on social media is… not that. It feels cannibalistic. It favors petty outrages, incentivizes the people who grandstand and reduce complex issues to black and white, it relentlessly rewards bad faith and attention-seeking.
It feels like there are outrage specialists who are itching to find the latest drama, fan the flames, maybe get something shut down or extract a pound of flesh, then clap their hands in a self-satisfied way like they’ve accomplished something that day.
Here’s the thing about shaming on social media: it’s only an effective tool against people who have the capacity to feel shamed. By definition, it’s wholly ineffective against the worst among us who should be ashamed, but who never will be, and just take the negative attention and run with it.
What if all that energy spent shouting into the void was devoted to building something?
The building mantra
Last year I posted about how I approach setting meaningful goals for the year, and after a very busy holiday season on the road, I haven’t had the chance to do that yet.
But I do know the overall mentality that I want to carry into 2022. I want to build stuff. I want to avoid getting distracted by petty dramas that suck away energy without leaving anything lasting behind.
My mantra, whenever I’m thinking about where I’m devoting my energy: “What is this building?”
In many ways, this blog has been a fifteen year construction project where I’ve gradually cobbled together all the advice someone might need to write and successfully publish a book. I have new ideas for some blog improvement projects that I’m excited to focus on in this new year. I have several ideas for new novels that I want to push forward.
It’s been a tough two years. I know I’ll feel better if I can look back at 2022 and see what I’ve built.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
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Art: Tour Eiffel by Neurdein
. I have been working at reducing my time on social media for the past few months, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. The biggest benefits are gaining back all that wasted time and less anxiety.
I look forward to seeing what you have planned for your blog—it’s always good to read, and I learn so much. Happy New Year!
Thank you! Happy New Year to you too!
Well said, Nathan.
Thank you!
Thank you for your blog, Nathan. Thank you for your insights, and for your thoughtful critiques, and for your honesty, and introspection, and kindness. Please know that you are helping a lot of us anonymous writers out here by being you and carrying on. Best for 2022.
Thank you!
Nathan, you are a gem. I love the phrase “outrage specialists,” and imagine those were the same kinds of people who stood gleefully in the public square, awaiting the slam of the guillotine blade. You provide so much guidance, hope and positivity with this blog, and the accompanying photos are always beautiful and perfect! It’s a bright spot in sometimes gross days. Instagram is the only SM I spend any amount of time on anymore. I’m there for the pretty pictures and occasional short videos of baby goats jumping around.
Thank you!
Kudos to you, Nathan, for this positive and inspiring post. Yes, to building something in the next year and every year after that. I’ve been reading your blog for at least 2 years and have never taken the time nor effort to respond. However, in an effort to build something, I want to congratulate you on a well-written, informative series of essays that are helpful, interesting and (not the least of its positives) fun! Is praise building something? I think so. Who hasn’t felt taller, sturdier and more grounded from praise? Happy new year, Nathan!
Thank you for the first comment!
I love the “what is this building?” mantra! (So much better than Geri’s “How does this serve my interests?” (;) I’m going to use it, too. And wise words about social media. I need to heed them.
I too love the “outrage specialists.” I have followed your blog for what … a decade? a decade and a half? Since back when you worked as an agent in SF. Back when blogs ruled the world. You are a unique and wonderful voice in all ways. I have loved the ‘coming together’ aspect of social media — remember the Instameets?! — at the beginning. But sadly it devolved so quickly into the opposite. We are now herded into echo chambers that subsequently get filled with outrage. The news programs, which were once wonderful connectors — I watched TV for a week straight (with very little sleep) following 9/11 because it helped me stay connected to the people of my country and know what they were experiencing, good and bad — are now “news personalities” who peddle outrage for views, clicks, ratings, whatever. I’m am sooo hoping that 2022 brings us a turning back on our divisions. Our philosophies are best when shared and balanced and when allowed to be nuanced, rather than pushed into single, homogenized lines of thought. That brings us great growth and helps us see what is working and what is not. Thank you for continuing to be a voice of heart and balance out there! It is encouraging and keeps that flame of hope in us alive.