At first you’re thinking of writing a novel and you’re all…
But then you have an idea!
And you go…
But then you hit page 50 and you’re all….
And then you hit page 75 and you’re all…
But you power through!!
And then you’re finished!!! You have finished a novel!!
Only then find out you have to start querying agents.
So you write your query letter…
You obsess over it…
And then you send it out to agents and you’re all…
Then a couple of days go by and you’re all…
And…
And…
But then you hear from your first agent!! And you’re all…
And…
And it’s a rejection. But it’s just your first one so you’re all…
Then you get a few more and it’s more like…
But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you’re like…
But you don’t want your agent to think you’re crazy so instead you’re like…
And you love your agent! When you say “yes” you want to…
But instead you go…
And then it’s time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you’re like…
Then the editors start saying….
And…
And your inbox starts looking like…
And you’re all…
And…
And…
But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like…
But instead it’s more like…
And it’s an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like…
And…
And…
And…
And then you go celebrate with your friends and they’re all…
And on the car ride home you’re still like…
But it’s time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you’re doing…
And it’s back to…
But then you’re done! You’re really really done! Only your book doesn’t come out for another year. And so you’re like…
And…
You get your cover and you’re all…
But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like…
But some of them are good! And you’re like…
And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!
And it feels pretty good!
And there’s only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.
Need help with your book? Iām available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
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Anonymous says
that was really … long.
Gayatri Majumdar says
Awesome, Nathan!!:)
Wm. Luke Everest says
This is absolutely awesome. I laughed until any metaphor for how MUCH I laughed would be inappropriate to write on a stranger's blog. A very funny and realistic representation of what getting a book out there is like, for most people.
A ray of hope, though: this is actually pretty inaccurate for people whose first step is learning the craft. Getting published is easier than getting an agent, for one thing. For another, getting a good agent means they'll negotiate with publishers and, if you've written a good book (which a good agent will be able to judge) it will sell. The hard parts are two-fold: learning to write, and selling quality work for more money than you can feed a cat with.
As Scott Bradfield, Paul McAuley and Ian Banks said to me, "Keep writing and reading and you'll get it." Now I'm represented by one of the biggest agents in the world: the same gal who represented Anthony Burgess. I help explain how this happened on my blog, if anyone is interested. The thing is, goals don't come, they get grabbed. Now get back to work and stop flitting around the internet. I'm going to go now and take a bit of my own advice.
Wm. Luke Everest
everestbyfog.blogspot.com
simon wood says
That was fantastic – I'm just at stage where i'm about to get a look at the cover and awaiting those reviews. Very and couldn't be more true.
Jennifer Cote says
Oh my goodness- LOVE it! Thanks š
Marian L says
Absolutely Brilliant!
Nicole McInnes says
Just…yeah, I have nothing more to add. It's perfection.
Ron at CM says
I just couldn't look away… Falling in…
B^)
Suzanne Furness says
Love it!
Liz DeJesus says
*hugs* Finally! Someone who understands how I really feel. š LOL LOVED THIS POST!
Lindsay says
Very clever and funny, thanks š
raincoaster says
FYI your post is the subject of our story on the Daily Dot. How meta!
Min says
Brilliant!
Beth Young says
Sei Bravo! (You are awesome). I am now Internet Guy but someday . . . Elf! Benvenuti from Siena where I am writing Eat–Have Sex–Get Fat. Nathan you are like a really great big brother. Thanks for sharing your knowledge so freely and making me laugh.
Edie Bishop says
You are too much.
Cora says
You nailed it. So fun. Thanks for the laughs.
vickiejohnstone says
Love it!!! It's so true! Especially the dive-bombing review moment and the hey I've published, awesome feeling… replaced by the big Oh feeling… and the hamster wheel starts again. So funny! And that Hugh jiggle always gets me giggling.
Liz Fichera says
Brilliant.
Darley says
That might be a masterpiece. Can't wait for the sequel.
mclicious.org says
This wins so very much!
Liz Curtis Higgs says
Hysterical and so true. What you've cleverly described is EXACTLY how writing and publishing works. Well done, Nathan!
Lauren says
Ahahahahahaa. Nathan, you had too much time on your hands, dude. LOL. This was hysterical! You didn't add any procrastination gifs in there. Maybe later.
Lauren says
Ahahha. Nathan, that is hysterical, dude. I think you had too much time on your hands. š LOL. There weren't any procrastination gifs, I noticed. Maybe later.
DenaNetherton says
Wonder if Kathryn Stockett felt like that after her 60th rejection?
thewriteedge says
This is awesome!! Thanks for posting it, Nathan, especially the reminder at the end. It's true what they say: life is a journey, not a destination!!
Loni Flowers says
FUNNIEST. POST. EVER. I laughed my butt off! Awesome!!
Techno Hippy says
Excellent – made me chuckle š
Silvana says
Superb! Very funny- I think? Thank you for sharing š
Patti says
Seriously, I laughed so hard I cried. š Sharing!
Karen lee Hallam says
Oh Lordy, lordy, this is HYSTERICAL!! Can i somehow post this on my wall?
Karen lee Hallam says
sorry-for those multiple comments. I think my phone has a bug. š
P.J Roscoe says
Absolutely YES!! I laughed so hard I almost stopped writing for a few seconds!!!!!
It is soooo true and I loved it – thanks for that hug from the inside as my book launch is tomorrow and I am doing most if not ALL of those faces!!
Anonymous says
Utterly brilliant. You've nailed it. I have tears of laughter streaming down my face. Thanks!
Jodie Andrefski says
I was absolutely ROLLING was I was reading this! Hilarious! (Even though I'm still I'm only halfway through personally….I'm SURE that's how I'd be for the rest of the steps too!) =)
not me says
Hysterical! Thanks for putting this together! š
Rod Arters, Writer – on FB
Gianetta says
I never got to the "getting an agent" part but I did self-publish and it feels very similar to everything in your post. Well done!
Dionna says
SUPER FUN!
Karen Lange says
Love it! Thank you!
Anonymous says
I would be super happy if Bernie read my novel! I hope to finish it in six months. One can hope I hope!
Krista says
The Hugh Grant dance is my acceptance dance. I'm so not kidding right now. I play the song and dance like Hugh. Laughed and cried all the way through. Thanks, Nathan.
Krystol Diggs says
I haven't laughed SO hard in a long time. I needed this! Nathan you are SO awesome!
Rick Crawford says
Good grief this is funny post. LOL!
Andrea B says
I laughed out loud! For real. š Thank you. That was amazing.
Nevada says
I just kind of ran into your blog and have to say I love it and it's now bookmarked. It is quite helpful and I lOVE this post. As much of a pain as it sounds I had to laugh because I'm going through the first stages of writing a full fledged novel and look forward to the rest of the experience. The good the bad and the ugly.
Emma Ennis says
Noice! And pretty much exact from my experience.
Danette Haworth says
Love this post!
Jess @ The Secret DMS Files o Fairday Morrow says
Awesome! Best post I've seen in a while! You nailed the emotional process of publishing : ) ~ Jess
Slicy says
Hah! I'm currently querying and have gotten my first set of rejections, up to this point it is so terrifyingly accurate. I just hope the happiness stage is to follow š
butterflyjewel says
Haha…This is funny! Love it though!!! So that's the publishing process in a nutshell, huh. Well, I see I have a lot of fun to look forward to š
Caroline Vermalle says
dude – I don't know your work but I just came across this (funny the things you find on the net when you're pretending to write) and i actually cried. yep, tears of laughter. it is so true. you've transcended the GIF genre. thanks and well done !