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The publishing process in GIF form

August 27, 2012 by Nathan Bransford 287 Comments

At first you’re thinking of writing a novel and you’re all…

But then you have an idea!

And you go…

But then you hit page 50 and you’re all….

And then you hit page 75 and you’re all…

But you power through!!

 

And then you’re finished!!! You have finished a novel!!

Only then find out you have to start querying agents.

So you write your query letter…

You obsess over it…

And then you send it out to agents and you’re all…

Then a couple of days go by and you’re all…

And…

And…

 

But then you hear from your first agent!! And you’re all…

And…

And it’s a rejection. But it’s just your first one so you’re all…

Then you get a few more and it’s more like…

But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you’re like…

But you don’t want your agent to think you’re crazy so instead you’re like…

And you love your agent! When you say “yes” you want to…

But instead you go…

And then it’s time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you’re like…

Then the editors start saying….

And…

And your inbox starts looking like…

And you’re all…

And…

And…

But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like…

But instead it’s more like…

And it’s an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like…

And…

And…

And…

And then you go celebrate with your friends and they’re all…

And on the car ride home you’re still like…

But it’s time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you’re doing…

And it’s back to…

But then you’re done! You’re really really done! Only your book doesn’t come out for another year. And so you’re like…

And…

You get your cover and you’re all…

But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like…

But some of them are good! And you’re like…

And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!

And it feels pretty good!

And there’s only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.

Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!

For my best advice, check out my online classes (NEW!), my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.

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Filed Under: Publishing Industry, The Writing Life Tagged With: Life of a Writer

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    August 30, 2012 at 4:50 am

    that was really … long.

    Reply
  2. Gayatri Majumdar says

    August 30, 2012 at 5:57 am

    Awesome, Nathan!!:)

    Reply
  3. Wm. Luke Everest says

    August 30, 2012 at 10:06 am

    This is absolutely awesome. I laughed until any metaphor for how MUCH I laughed would be inappropriate to write on a stranger's blog. A very funny and realistic representation of what getting a book out there is like, for most people.

    A ray of hope, though: this is actually pretty inaccurate for people whose first step is learning the craft. Getting published is easier than getting an agent, for one thing. For another, getting a good agent means they'll negotiate with publishers and, if you've written a good book (which a good agent will be able to judge) it will sell. The hard parts are two-fold: learning to write, and selling quality work for more money than you can feed a cat with.

    As Scott Bradfield, Paul McAuley and Ian Banks said to me, "Keep writing and reading and you'll get it." Now I'm represented by one of the biggest agents in the world: the same gal who represented Anthony Burgess. I help explain how this happened on my blog, if anyone is interested. The thing is, goals don't come, they get grabbed. Now get back to work and stop flitting around the internet. I'm going to go now and take a bit of my own advice.

    Wm. Luke Everest
    everestbyfog.blogspot.com

    Reply
  4. simon wood says

    August 30, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    That was fantastic – I'm just at stage where i'm about to get a look at the cover and awaiting those reviews. Very and couldn't be more true.

    Reply
  5. Jennifer Cote says

    August 30, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Oh my goodness- LOVE it! Thanks 😀

    Reply
  6. Marian L says

    August 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    Absolutely Brilliant!

    Reply
  7. Nicole McInnes says

    August 30, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Just…yeah, I have nothing more to add. It's perfection.

    Reply
  8. Ron at CM says

    August 30, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    I just couldn't look away… Falling in…

    B^)

    Reply
  9. Suzanne Furness says

    August 31, 2012 at 7:14 am

    Love it!

    Reply
  10. Liz DeJesus says

    August 31, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    *hugs* Finally! Someone who understands how I really feel. 😀 LOL LOVED THIS POST!

    Reply
  11. Lindsay says

    August 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Very clever and funny, thanks 🙂

    Reply
  12. raincoaster says

    August 31, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    FYI your post is the subject of our story on the Daily Dot. How meta!

    Reply
  13. Min says

    September 1, 2012 at 7:06 am

    Brilliant!

    Reply
  14. Beth Young says

    September 1, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Sei Bravo! (You are awesome). I am now Internet Guy but someday . . . Elf! Benvenuti from Siena where I am writing Eat–Have Sex–Get Fat. Nathan you are like a really great big brother. Thanks for sharing your knowledge so freely and making me laugh.

    Reply
  15. Edie Bishop says

    September 1, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    You are too much.

    Reply
  16. Cora says

    September 1, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    You nailed it. So fun. Thanks for the laughs.

    Reply
  17. vickiejohnstone says

    September 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Love it!!! It's so true! Especially the dive-bombing review moment and the hey I've published, awesome feeling… replaced by the big Oh feeling… and the hamster wheel starts again. So funny! And that Hugh jiggle always gets me giggling.

    Reply
  18. Liz Fichera says

    September 3, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Brilliant.

    Reply
  19. Darley says

    September 3, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    That might be a masterpiece. Can't wait for the sequel.

    Reply
  20. mclicious.org says

    September 4, 2012 at 3:28 am

    This wins so very much!

    Reply
  21. Liz Curtis Higgs says

    September 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Hysterical and so true. What you've cleverly described is EXACTLY how writing and publishing works. Well done, Nathan!

    Reply
  22. Lauren says

    September 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Ahahahahahaa. Nathan, you had too much time on your hands, dude. LOL. This was hysterical! You didn't add any procrastination gifs in there. Maybe later.

    Reply
  23. Lauren says

    September 4, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Ahahha. Nathan, that is hysterical, dude. I think you had too much time on your hands. 😛 LOL. There weren't any procrastination gifs, I noticed. Maybe later.

    Reply
  24. DenaNetherton says

    September 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Wonder if Kathryn Stockett felt like that after her 60th rejection?

    Reply
  25. thewriteedge says

    September 4, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    This is awesome!! Thanks for posting it, Nathan, especially the reminder at the end. It's true what they say: life is a journey, not a destination!!

    Reply
  26. Loni Flowers says

    September 5, 2012 at 2:43 am

    FUNNIEST. POST. EVER. I laughed my butt off! Awesome!!

    Reply
  27. Techno Hippy says

    September 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Excellent – made me chuckle 🙂

    Reply
  28. Silvana says

    September 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Superb! Very funny- I think? Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Reply
  29. Patti says

    September 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Seriously, I laughed so hard I cried. 😀 Sharing!

    Reply
  30. Karen lee Hallam says

    September 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Oh Lordy, lordy, this is HYSTERICAL!! Can i somehow post this on my wall?

    Reply
  31. Karen lee Hallam says

    September 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    sorry-for those multiple comments. I think my phone has a bug. 🙁

    Reply
  32. P.J Roscoe says

    September 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Absolutely YES!! I laughed so hard I almost stopped writing for a few seconds!!!!!
    It is soooo true and I loved it – thanks for that hug from the inside as my book launch is tomorrow and I am doing most if not ALL of those faces!!

    Reply
  33. Anonymous says

    September 7, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Utterly brilliant. You've nailed it. I have tears of laughter streaming down my face. Thanks!

    Reply
  34. Jodie Andrefski says

    September 8, 2012 at 6:41 am

    I was absolutely ROLLING was I was reading this! Hilarious! (Even though I'm still I'm only halfway through personally….I'm SURE that's how I'd be for the rest of the steps too!) =)

    Reply
  35. not me says

    September 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Hysterical! Thanks for putting this together! 🙂

    Rod Arters, Writer – on FB

    Reply
  36. Gianetta says

    September 12, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    I never got to the "getting an agent" part but I did self-publish and it feels very similar to everything in your post. Well done!

    Reply
  37. Dionna says

    September 12, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    SUPER FUN!

    Reply
  38. Karen Lange says

    September 14, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Love it! Thank you!

    Reply
  39. Anonymous says

    September 15, 2012 at 12:59 am

    I would be super happy if Bernie read my novel! I hope to finish it in six months. One can hope I hope!

    Reply
  40. Krista says

    September 21, 2012 at 2:58 am

    The Hugh Grant dance is my acceptance dance. I'm so not kidding right now. I play the song and dance like Hugh. Laughed and cried all the way through. Thanks, Nathan.

    Reply
  41. Krystol Diggs says

    September 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    I haven't laughed SO hard in a long time. I needed this! Nathan you are SO awesome!

    Reply
  42. Rick Crawford says

    September 22, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Good grief this is funny post. LOL!

    Reply
  43. Andrea B says

    September 27, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    I laughed out loud! For real. 🙂 Thank you. That was amazing.

    Reply
  44. Nevada says

    September 27, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    I just kind of ran into your blog and have to say I love it and it's now bookmarked. It is quite helpful and I lOVE this post. As much of a pain as it sounds I had to laugh because I'm going through the first stages of writing a full fledged novel and look forward to the rest of the experience. The good the bad and the ugly.

    Reply
  45. Emma Ennis says

    October 2, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    Noice! And pretty much exact from my experience.

    Reply
  46. Danette Haworth says

    October 17, 2012 at 4:01 am

    Love this post!

    Reply
  47. Jess @ The Secret DMS Files o Fairday Morrow says

    October 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Awesome! Best post I've seen in a while! You nailed the emotional process of publishing : ) ~ Jess

    Reply
  48. Slicy says

    November 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Hah! I'm currently querying and have gotten my first set of rejections, up to this point it is so terrifyingly accurate. I just hope the happiness stage is to follow 🙂

    Reply
  49. butterflyjewel says

    November 15, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Haha…This is funny! Love it though!!! So that's the publishing process in a nutshell, huh. Well, I see I have a lot of fun to look forward to 🙂

    Reply
  50. Caroline Vermalle says

    November 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    dude – I don't know your work but I just came across this (funny the things you find on the net when you're pretending to write) and i actually cried. yep, tears of laughter. it is so true. you've transcended the GIF genre. thanks and well done !

    Reply
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Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m the author of How to Write a Novel and the Jacob Wonderbar series, which was published by Penguin. I used to be a literary agent at Curtis Brown Ltd. and I’m dedicated to helping authors achieve their dreams. Let me help you with your book!

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