It feels personal.
It’s almost impossible not to take it personally.
But it’s not personal.
This is one of those posts where I’m blogging about something that everyone knows, but knowing it doesn’t make it easier to behave accordingly. It’s one thing to know it, it’s another thing to live it.
We all know rejection is not really personal. It’s not. How could it be, the people rejecting you don’t even know you? Agents and editors and reviewers are just doing their jobs, why should we get so angry at them for not seeing what we see in our own work?
And yet knowing that only makes dealing with rejection just a little tiny, measly bit easier.
There is still so much vitriol out there on the Internet for so-called “legacy” publishers and agents and the traditional publishing industry, and let’s be honest, a lot of that is ill will generated by all those queries and manuscripts that were rejected or went unanswered.
But look – I’ve been there! I received those rejections, I’ve felt those pains. It’s perfectly normal to get mad. And that anger can lead to some great productivity. It makes you want to show the doubters and to keep getting better.
Just don’t let that anger be permanent. Channel it into creating something positive instead of letting it fester into a perpetual sneer.
We all know this. So let’s all try harder to put it into practice.
How do you channel your rejection frustration?
Emily Strempler says
I know with short fiction and poetry, only the first nine or ten bothered me. After that I started answering my mail with the knowledge in the back of my head that any news was probably a rejection. It made me so much happier when I finally got something published, because I didn't have a sense of entitlement about it anymore.
I cast my ejections letters to the side and turn up my creative jucies. I must say, I have received several constructive rejection letters. I have also received a few good critiques. In the same breath, is written, "sorry, but we are not excepting this genre at this time." I get excited hoping they are telling me the truth, and not telling me all of what I want to hear.
My grandson encourages me. He says, "Grammy,eventually, you will be acknowledged. Nowdays, you have to know someone to become some one. It's all in know you know."
I have fine-tuned my novels, original and sequel, and as of today, I am surfing agents in the UK.