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By: Philip Isles
“Fall down 8 times, get up 9”
-Traditional Buddhist saying
Learning to accept rejection is imperative for any writer. Most writers realize this quickly. Or they make the mistake of self-publishing (guilty as charged). But one important aspect of rejection that many do not consider is recovery, which I learned about through physical fitness.
In cardio fitness, such as running or biking, performance is not only measured in how well one’s heart rate performs, but also how quickly the heart rate returns to normal. This rate of recovery after the sprint or interval is considered just as important as the heart’s performance during the activity itself.
About a year ago, my manuscript was submitted to a top agency, and I was waiting to hear back. There were a lot of positive indicators pointing at an offer of representation, and I allowed myself to get my hopes up: the agent reviewing the material had asked me for more material, wanted to know more about me…
This was the farthest I had ever been towards obtaining representation, and I was naturally excited.
When I got the call, I pulled my car to the side of the road to give the agent my full attention. I was rejected, and I took it hard, as one might expect, but for the first time in my life I witnessed my own process of recovery, and it was a crucial, vital lesson. As I got back on the road and drove off, I felt my dashed hopes of representation slowly transition back to the love of my material. I was startled by how quickly this transition took place in me, having expected to deal with it for days. But it was gone, and I was back on the road.
I realized that, much like the professional athlete training to push himself farther and farther, I had pushed my heart harder, by dealing with a bigger possibility/dream than I had ever experienced before. My heart not only dealt with the bigger opportunity–and the hopes and dreams that came with it–it also recovered from it. This moment of recovery struck me as a key moment in my development as a professional writer.
If you can’t recover from rejection, you won’t be able to handle the next opportunities or possibilities that come/are coming down the road, in the same way that athlete wouldn’t be able to sprint if he doesn’t recover. Recovery is just as crucial on the other, positive end of rejection: success and acceptance. If you don’t recover from success–if you don’t get back to a state of preparing for the next great sprint–there won’t be chances for greater, higher success.
Recovery time for rejections? What a great concept! How fit is your metaphoric heart? After all, you love that damned ms!
A rejection places a choice in your path: quit or make it better.
Well, it pumps me up to make it better. Self-pity is a smothering, defeatist view. I review the rejected piece and make it stronger, or write a new piece that's even better. Rejection fires me to up my word target for the day (sadly, that effect wears off after a few days) and sharpen the query letter.
Rejection makes me feel like I'm a performer who's received a shocking review – I pick myself up and make tomorrow's damned show better.
I liken it to the recovery after alcohol use. You get a little better at it, every time, and if you can't spring back the day after, you really shouldn't be drinking.
Then again, muscle actually builds up, after strenuous activity. Brain cells after alcohol use – haven't noticed any increase, yet.
I wrote a book that was rejected by 20 publishers and 2 agents. But, once it was published, it led to a TV program that completely changed my life (for the better). For full story, see 'How to get a book published' at https://bit.ly/aeEtev which, I hope, will give any would-be authors a bit of hope. Since then,it was easy enough to get an agent, who has helped me to publish two more books.
I completely agree with the rejection and recovery part. But I'm not sure I agree with the self-pub as a mistake idea. Why do you consider that a mistake?
very comprehensive, it covers all required aspects of content requirement,Really appreciate the kind words and the time you’re taking on this. thanks for sharing this with me!@bose
Letters
My bane was critiques. After I get over the emotionality of the critique–my baby being bashed–I look at it objectively. I understand the truth of the wise words spoken, address the issue and recover quickly having learned more than mere words can say. Now the process is easier to handle and I thank the person who pointed out the issue to me with a full heart. Recovery is part of the process and it occurs more quickly now.
Rejection doesn't bother me in the slightest. Well, maybe a little, but it's part of the process. You can't learn with out it and you can't please everone. I think agents and editors for the most part are looking for something specific and easy to sell. They have a lot to choose from so they'll put their time and enegy in the guy or gal with the most cred, who knows somebody, who knows somebody, or next Twighlight, or Harry Potter, or what ever. There's more to their the decison than the writing, and I believe that- no matter what anybody tells you.(I've read to many horrible books not too) I also beleive you can make up for what you lack in those area's with persistance and excellence. Persistance will get you attention, but the work had better be good, real good, and marketable, or forget it. If your work doesn't follow the mainstream formula or what ever's hot at the time, I see no mistake or anything to feel guilty about with publishing it yourself. (but educate yourself here, don't a fool about it)
Getting asked for more material feels great, but I know it still hasn't gotten anywhere, so I try to put in the back of mind and not get my hopes up.
When a detailed encourging rejection comes, I send a thank you and I read it over and over and try to find the obvious mistakes I made with the manuscript and fix them and re submitt to that rejection first out of profesional courtesy, and tell them I'm doing so. Probably the ship has sailed and it wont even get considered, but thats one more time your name passed someones eyes. It might get recoginized on your next project. If somebody asked for a complete manuscript, then somebody liked it. They just couldn't get everybody to like it,and I don't take that as a rejection, I'd rather call it a near hit.
As far the "sorry not for us," don't give it a second thought.
Why does Philip ink that self publishing is a mistake?
Fantastic post. This rings so true. I try to see rejections as proof I'm still in the game. Turning a negative into a positive helps me push on to the next story submission. 🙂
Thank you Philip, and Nathan for hosting!
Roslyn
Maybe he had a bad experiance. I could only find one book by a Philip H on Amazon, (not even sure it's the same guy,) published by Infinty,and I know they've bugged me with big talk and promises for a lot of money. But I don't know if they deliver or not. I didn't go that way.
But I can't find any other links to any other books, in his blog or website.
How about a link Philip? right to the books? I can't find them. Maybe I'm missing it.
Good post. Artists need the crucible of rejection to raise their game. It spurs us on to greater things.
Seriously? You got a phone call rejection? Not just a form? Clearly you were already doing well.
And of course you did even better by driving off and keeping on.