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The Importance of Being Yourself

November 18, 2010 by Nathan Bransford 69 Comments

Oscar Wilde, photograph by Napoleon Sarony

The query process is understandably terrifying. In fact, I’m pretty sure they use it as a torture device in some countries. And that’s even before you jump online and find out that every agent has a slightly different idea of what makes a good query and every discussion forum has a different formula and next thing you know you’ll find yourself checking yourself into an asylum as a precautionary measure.

Lost in all of this is perhaps the most important element of the query: YOU.

You! The writer! The personage! The prodigiously talented talent!

A few months back, Jessica Faust at BookEnds had some terrific advice: don’t try and write a query that will appeal to everyone, write the best query you can that will appeal to many.

Not only is this terrific advice, it doesn’t just apply to queries – in fact I would carry this forward to the actual writing as well. It doesn’t work to write the book that you think you should write or that you think is what the market wants or that everyone in the world will like. Don’t try to write for everyone, write for many. And that “many” can be just as many people as you want.

And it doesn’t just apply to queries and manuscripts, it applies to how you conduct yourself and think of yourself as a writer. Sometimes I think people get so nervous about doing the wrong thing they button themselves up and hide away their real self. And sure, put on some nice clothes and put your best foot forward, but don’t lose yourself in the process. If someone doesn’t want to work with the real you, trust me, you don’t want to work with them either.

Queries, manuscripts, correspondence: the absolute best thing you can do is to just be yourself.

Filed Under: The Writing Life Tagged With: How to Write a Query Letter, Staying Sane While Writing

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    November 19, 2010 at 1:07 am

    Graffiti on a wall: Killjoy was here.

    Comment added underneath: It's Killroy, stupid.

    The first comment is me being myself. The second is someone else being someone else.

    Reply
  2. Terin Tashi Miller says

    November 19, 2010 at 1:18 am

    Mr. Former Agent Man: Your best post ever, in my humble opinion.

    Just read in "The War of Art," a book I highly recommend as it was recommended to me, that trying to pander to whatever trend or fad in anything, be it literature or fashion or literature after a fashion, is in fact the very definition of the one thing most of us don't ever want to be called: a "hack."

    And Mira…ah, Mira. How could anyone ever interpret anything you say as other than adorable?

    Reply
  3. Terin Tashi Miller says

    November 19, 2010 at 1:20 am

    Oh, and @Marsha: Me, too! (Except the boots. Where can I get the boots?)

    Reply
  4. Ted Fox says

    November 19, 2010 at 1:49 am

    Great advice for writing. Great advice for life.

    Reply
  5. The Red Angel says

    November 19, 2010 at 2:09 am

    Excellent post, Nathan! Thanks so much for the motivation…too often do people write to impress others and please everyone, when such a feat is impossible. "Being yourself" won't just give someone a decent (but not great) audience, but it will also make you happy.

    ~TRA

    https://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com

    Reply
  6. Matthew Rush says

    November 19, 2010 at 2:13 am

    Honesty really is the best policy. Even if you're writing Fantasy all you have to do is stay up long enough until you actually believe it.

    Reply
  7. Lynne says

    November 19, 2010 at 2:36 am

    So right. I love this post.
    Thanks, Nathan.

    Reply
  8. Heidi says

    November 19, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Re: Anon 7:33 & Nathan's comments about querying:

    I absolutely love the research and work that goes into finding out about the editor or agent to whom you are querying. First of all, you learn so much along the way about the process; what to do, what to avoid, AND you are wasting less time by NOT submitting to people who are not interested in what you write.

    Attending conferences is an excellent way of making a connection, and you will usually get the opportunity to submit to publishers that are normally closed to non-agented work.

    Another great resource is Jill Corcoran's post:
    https://jillcorcoran.blogspot.com/2009/03/how-to-write-query-letter-advice-from.html

    She' very no-nonsense, and gives great tips.

    Good Luck!

    Reply
  9. Susan Kaye Quinn says

    November 19, 2010 at 5:04 am

    It's just too tiring to be someone other than myself. 🙂

    And Claire Dawn got it first: blog you ! 🙂

    Reply
  10. Lum says

    November 19, 2010 at 6:55 am

    [[Sometimes I think people get so nervous about doing the wrong thing they button themselves up and hide away their real self. ]]

    Great words–thank you! 😀

    Reply
  11. wendy says

    November 19, 2010 at 11:51 am

    Sorry to be off topic, but I've just this moment caught up on my email as I've been offline for three weeks. You're no longer an agent, Nathan? This is quite apocolyptic in nature. Wow.

    Well, I'm glad you're happy and optimistic about it. I'm happy cos I can wax lyrical about the joys and wonder of this blog and you without worrying you'll think I'm sucking up because of your agently status. Now I'll just worry you'll think I'm trying to … the other thing. But if I inform that I'm old enough to adopt you, then we can all relax. And I can be as affectionate and charming as I
    like without fear or favour.

    Or something like that. 🙂

    Good luck with your new endeavours. It's all very exciting. I'm so glad that this blog is continuing. One of my fave places to visit.

    Reply
  12. The Good Wifehold says

    November 19, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    It's defininately terrifying putting yourself out there but I guess you can't be precious about it… just keep going…

    I'm trying out blogging. It's a bit scary but then you realise you and probably your mother are your only readers (to start with) anyway.

    TGW
    http://www.thegoodwifehold.blogspot.com

    Reply
  13. J. T. Shea says

    November 19, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Queries as torture devices? Don't be giving them ideas, Nathan!

    But I thoroughly agree we should always strive to be ourselves. Now, who am I again?

    Reply
  14. Tess Cox says

    November 20, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Nathan, would have responded to this earlier, but just got back from India and the data rates there are terrible!
    This is a good reminder for me. While I've taken much of your advice about first chapters (still scared to submit one for comment) in writing my first fiction novel, I've struggled with keeping my "voice" while following the "rules" of writing a good story. It's much harder than I had imagined it would be.
    thank you for this encouragement. Maybe some day I'll brave the Friday forum…

    Reply
  15. kangaroobee says

    November 20, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    What a nice post, thanks Nathan

    Reply
  16. Web Design Firm says

    November 25, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    @ Christine Macdonald

    telling myself to get out of my own way working on my manuscript that is for too,wo In MY voice.
    Nice job!

    Reply
  17. Mary-Lou says

    December 16, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Is it bad it took me longer than is should to figure out why the Oscar Wilde picture is in relation to this posts? I should had a V8.

    Reply
  18. Anonymous says

    August 18, 2011 at 6:59 am

    No Jim Varney? Whatever happened to the Importance of Being Ernest? ^_^

    Ah, but I digress.

    Re: the poster who wrote "if they don't like you, you don't like them" or something similar, well… what if you don't like you? 🙁 This is something I struggle with on a daily basis — it's actually one of the reasons I haven't bothered with social media because, to paraphrase FDR, I have everything to fear, including fear and especially…myself.

    I really like your site, Mr. Bransford, and you seem confident enough to put yourself out there day after day and just "be you." I think people would be shocked if you were really the secret identity of one Ms. Snark. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Stu Ayris says

    October 6, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Having finished writing a novel, I am now trying to get it published. It certainly is a strange old world when our tens of thousands of words are lain at the feet of the judge and jury that is the agent/publisher who can dismiss those words with so few of their own. But what an impact those few words can make if you let them. It's just their opinion people – if you love your book, then it's a great book! I've started a blog just to track the journey of a poor unknown such as myself – you are not alone!! https://tollesburytimeforever.blogspot.com/

    Reply
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Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m the author of How to Write a Novel and the Jacob Wonderbar series, which was published by Penguin. I used to be a literary agent at Curtis Brown Ltd. and I’m dedicated to helping authors achieve their dreams. Let me help you with your book!

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