By Brodi Ashton
In 2008, with my first finished manuscript in hand, I was ready to query. To find that special someone who would take my story to the top. You know, to find THE ONE.
My sister-in-law (also a writer) devised a contest: first person to reach 100 rejections wins. We crafted our queries, did our research, and by the end of four months I won the race. I’d received 100 rejections. But I also won an agent. Everything’s downhill from there, right?
The agent submitted my book and after three months, we had 2 positive rejections (you know, the kind where they’re all, “I like it, but how would I sell it?”) and about 7 no-responses. Not the reaction we had expected.
Meanwhile, I wasn’t going to be one of those writers who put all of her flowers in one bouquet. I decided to write another book, so that when we had exhausted all possible avenues for book #1, I’d have something ready to go. My 13-year old niece read Book #2 in 24 hours; that had to be a good sign, right? (side note: warranted use of semi-colon, check.)
With your first book, you’re guaranteed the agent loves it, because he/she offered representation on it. But with your second, you never know. I gave my agent book #2 in January 2010. Three and a half months later, he was “still reading.”
Just like a clueless girlfriend, I made excuses for him. So what if my niece had taken 24 hours to read it? She’s really fast. So what if this second book was 20,000 words shorter than my first? I probably used bigger words. The story makes the reader want to savor it, not finish it. He probably doesn’t want it to end. (Agreed, that was the stupidest excuse.)
Determined to be proactive, I sent him a list of editors who had mentioned on blogs that they were looking for my type of book.
He responded with a resounding, “Um, let’s talk on the phone.”
That did not sound good. I’m sure you all know how frakkin’ hard it is to get an agent in the first place. My family and friends knew. Their advice before the dreaded phone call was, “Say what you have to say to keep him.”
But here’s what only a phone call could show: the passion was gone. He liked book #2 okay, but he didn’t love it. It was polished, but it wouldn’t make a splash. It didn’t need that much work as far as revisions went, but he probably couldn’t get to it for a few months. Maybe after the holidays. (That would’ve been 9 months later).
So, he wasn’t going to dump me. I could’ve kept him. But one thing was perfectly clear: there was no way he would be able to muster the passion necessary to make a sale, especially a debut sale, especially in today’s tight market. It wasn’t his fault. This business is subjective.
I knew we couldn’t go on like that. But was I really ready to dive into the query pool again? Could I face a hundred new rejections? Would I really be stupid enough to leave an agent? LEAVE an agent?
But the passion was gone. There was no way around it. He just wasn’t that into me anymore. As our phone conversation started wrapping up, I blurted out that this wasn’t going to work. He didn’t put up a fight, and we parted ways amicably.
I started querying the next day. (Yeah, I had a query written. I’m sort of a cup-half-empty type person.) Within a month, I had nine offers from wonderful agents who were passionate about book #2. And three weeks ago, I sold my debut trilogy to Balzer and Bray, Harper Collins in a pre-empt, after 48 hours on submission. All of this happened five months before my first agent would’ve even submitted it.
I don’t blame agent #1 for not loving my book, just as I don’t blame my high school boyfriend, who fell in love with someone else right before the Christmas Dance. (I totally blame the other girl, though, but I digress).
Point is, even though it hurts, you can’t help who you fall in love with. A book (or boy) can look great on paper, but if the passion isn’t there, or the passion is one-sided, the relationship won’t work. I’m still friends with my first agent, and I admit I learned so much from him. But I would rather be in the query pool, collecting a thousand rejections, than be with an agent whose reaction to my book was, “Meh.”
Unrequited love. Sometimes it hurts so good.
p.s. I’m still getting rejections from agents I queried. I might reach 100 again.
Brodi Ashton’s time as a television reporter in a small Idaho town inspired her to write her first Young Adult novel. Since then, she has traded a career behind the camera for her dream of living in sweats and inhaling caffeine while creating stories for teens. Her first book EVERNEATH comes out 2012 from Balzer + Bray (Harper Collins).
You so inspired me. Thanks. (And I thought I had it bad with 22 rejections , three partials, and a full…)
But HOW do you survive 100????
EVERY time I put my WIP in front of my critique group, I die a thousand deaths. I question myself over and over. And then, I love them so much, because everything they point out makes me a better re-writer.
I continue to envision landing an agent as the culmination of the process, equating it with the long-awaited prize. In fact, it is the first step of many towards publishing my first book. Your blog was both insightful and thought-provoking. Thank you so much for sharing. And congrats on your success!
Anon @6:49- I love to use my colossal failures to inspire people! Seriously.
Three partials and a full sounds- like you're doing just fine. 🙂 Maybe you won't have to hit 100.
Kathleen- I used to think of getting an agent as having the ball on 1st and goal on the football field. Now I think that getting an agent just means your ON the football field, and the game hasn't even started.
Such a great post! I love the perspective on not putting all your flowers in one bouquet. You're a funny girl Brodi Ashton. I'm so thrilled for you and your new book!
I love this post – thanks for sharing!
Brodi,
Loved your post. It's truly encouraging. And you kept your sense of humor throughout. I have to admire your guts and confidence to stand by your work. Any time I get discouraged, I'm going to come back to this post. I'm also not going to take those rejection letters personally. Thanks.
Congrats and what an awesome guest blog!!!
Great post!
I had something similar happen to me. Only it took two more books for me to find a new agent and we haven't sold yet (but I digress).
Anyway, leaving my first agent was both one of the hardest and best decisions I've ever made.
As I sit here and look at my list of agents to query to, I wonder how it is possible to have enough agents to query to get over 100 rejections. I suppose it has something to do with genre. I'm having a heck of a time finding fantasy agents. I'm only on two rejections so far…waiting for the third and fourth…
awesome post though.
Exact thing happened to me, practically word for word.
Great post.
Congratulations, Brodi!
And if it's any consolation, I know the feeling of passion's loss.
My first agent took me on because he liked a short story I'd written and published in a high school collection. He encouraged me to write my first novel, suggesting I was the sort of young, and hopefully raw talent that could go far in writing.
He sent that first novel, a Young Adult novel written by a then-Young Adult,to Thomas Crowell and Knopf. And when they rejected it, he kept encouraging me and sending it. And encouraged me to write another.
So, I wrote another, in a few years. Similar experience. "Don't give up!" was basically his message.
I wrote maybe four novels with his encouragement. Then he went and died on me, in 1987.
I kept writing. His widow took over his agency, and for a couple years kept up his encouragement until, as she said, she needed to pare the agency down, essentially to writers who were already bringing in money.
I completely understood. Then, there I was, another manuscript written, which she had loved, in search of an agent. A friend, a publisher who actually loved my manuscript but couldn't get anyone to publish it, including her own company, recommended a couple agents she'd worked with.
The second one, who wasn't that busy at the time, read it and took me on.
About 10 years, four manuscripts, and a stint living overseas later, I realized someone had to say what we both knew to be true: as you said, she just wasn't that into me. We parted ways just as I found a new publisher extremely positive and interested in that by then 10-year-old manuscript, so interested he recommended some revisions which made sense to me and I manged to accomplish.
Then, the once small and barely locally known publisher got a writer who put him on the map. I sent another manuscript, and he sent the first one, and the next, back.
I no longer try to write a novel a year. And I hate writing queries, because I was spoiled at such a young age by such a great encouraging agent.
It is tough dumping someone–anyone, but especially someone who you feel sort of accepted your initial overture and you feel you can't really get much farther without.
But you either sell your work, or you don't. And you either work and hope or try for a sale, or you decide it's too draining, economically or emotionally.
But by then, I'm guessing, you'll still write another manuscript, like me, eventually.
And let me tell your friend, in my 30+ years of experiences like this, 100 rejections is just a good start…:)
Congratulations, Brodi!
And if it's any consolation, I know the feeling of passion's loss.
My first agent took me on because he liked a short story I'd written and published in a high school collection. He encouraged me to write my first novel, suggesting I was the sort of young, and hopefully raw talent that could go far in writing.
He sent that first novel, a Young Adult novel written by a then-Young Adult,to Thomas Crowell and Knopf. And when they rejected it, he kept encouraging me and sending it. And encouraged me to write another.
So, I wrote another, in a few years. Similar experience. "Don't give up!" was basically his message.
I wrote maybe four novels with his encouragement. Then he went and died on me, in 1987.
I kept writing. His widow took over his agency, and for a couple years kept up his encouragement until, as she said, she needed to pare the agency down, essentially to writers who were already bringing in money.
I completely understood. Then, there I was, another manuscript written, which she had loved, in search of an agent. A friend, a publisher who actually loved my manuscript but couldn't get anyone to publish it, including her own company, recommended a couple agents she'd worked with.
The second one, who wasn't that busy at the time, read it and took me on.
About 10 years, four manuscripts, and a stint living overseas later, I realized someone had to say what we both knew to be true: as you said, she just wasn't that into me. We parted ways just as I found a new publisher extremely positive and interested in that by then 10-year-old manuscript, so interested he recommended some revisions which made sense to me and I manged to accomplish.
Then, the once small and barely locally known publisher got a writer who put him on the map. I sent another manuscript, and he sent the first one, and the next, back.
I no longer try to write a novel a year. And I hate writing queries, because I was spoiled at such a young age by such a great encouraging agent.
It is tough dumping someone–anyone, but especially someone who you feel sort of accepted your initial overture and you feel you can't really get much farther without.
But you–or they–either sell your work, or don't. And you either work and hope or try for a sale, or you decide it's too draining, economically or emotionally.
But by then, I'm guessing, you'll still write another manuscript, like me, eventually.
And let me tell your friend, 100 rejections is just a good start…:)
But I'm glad you found the right one and "clicked" with a publisher…and hope the same for us all.
Congratulations Brodi Ashton. That piece was good reading. You deserved to win a slot.
Sheila Cull
Nice.
For you that is on the sale of your book.
Interesting that this parallels certain things in the day-to-day activities that is life (like getting a new job that eventually becomes not a good fit)
It's good to hear that you were able to handle the breakup with as much tact and courtesy as possible.
I'm a sucker for a happy ending – congrats! This made me smile.
Congratulations, Brodi, and thanks for sharing!
I agree with a comment by The Lemonade Stand. (That was a surreal sentence.) It does seem like it would be difficult to even find one hundred agents to submit to in some genres.
What an awesome post! I was up to 133 rejections and I just signed with an agent this past week. She loved my book and seems very passionate which I am very happy about. She's already asked for my second book but if she doesn't love that one, I won't take it personally.
You're awesome Brodi – and congrats again on the book deal and now for guesting on Nathan's blog. You're are so brave and impulsive to part ways with the first agent – I don't know that I would have done it, but you're right – they should feel passionate about your work.
Brodi! Fancy meeting you here! Excellent post. Now get back to our Scrabble game!
Thanks again for all the nice comments! I admit to being a little scared about being so exposed…
Anica and The Lemonade Stand (That totally sounds like a band name)-
I think it's a genre thing. Currently, agentquery.com (which is the site I used when querying) lists 316 agents who handle YA. I know YA is more encompassing than other genres, but it wasn't hard for me to find 100.
Jody- I'm back to the Scrabble game. No fair starting out with "anemone" though! Give me a chance, won't ya?
Excellent writ-up on a touchy subject. I was hoping this would get picked.
Congratulations on the sale of your book, Brodi! It sounds like you made the right decision to part ways with your previous agent, although I imagine it must have been a very difficult decision at the time.
I just reread your post, and realized that you sold not just one book (which would have been fantastic in and of itself), but a TRILOGY of books. Your post is so inspiring. HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on the sale of your trilogy!
Brodi, thanks for the post. It really was quite inspiring. I suppose I would consider mine YA as well as fantasy. So I'm going to go give that website a go. So far I've just gone through the Writer's Market. I'm just getting started in the querying. So thanks for mentioning that website. (Mentally noting new resource…)
So what's a pre-empt? Pardon my newbiness.
My favorite entry, I'm so happy it was chosen.
To all the commenters whose agents couldn't sell their first book, take heart in remembering that last year (09) was the worst in publishing since the Great Depression. Don't give up.
Anon- "pre-empt" means they made a good enough offer to take it off the table for all the other publishers who have the manuscript. (In my little knowledge of the subject)
Other Anon- I totally agree. 09 was a horrific year for potential debut authors.
This post's even prettier against the full-on orange backdrop! And it ain't too shabby with its deluge of great comments. Congrats, Brodi – on writing a post that really speaks to everyone!