I am back! A round of digital applause for the intrepid guest bloggers last week for keeping us all entertained, informed, and uplifted. A fine job all around.
While I was away I was chatting with a friend who reads grants for a living, a job that bears some striking resemblance to query letter answering. And if you happen to be thinking about writing a grant at this very moment, I have a piece of advice for you: don’t quote Gandhi.
Why?
Apparently everyone who applies for a grant quotes Gandhi! And while Gandhi is no doubt eminently quotable and no one will argue with his very uplifting and memorable sayings, reading Gandhi quote after Gandhi quote will steadily drive even the nicest grant reader insane.
Her experience struck a chord with me having judged two contests and having answered a deluge of queries, and it gets at something really basic. If you want to stand out, think for a second about what you think everyone would do: the joke everyone would make in a query, the approach everyone would take in a writing prompt, the pacifist leader that everyone might quote in a grant. Then do something different.
I know this isn’t the most earth-shattering advice in the world (it may not even be porcelain shattering), but just stepping back and thinking about what you’re about to write from a “what would everyone do” standpoint can save you from doing that very same thing. And trust me: when writing a query or entering a contest or writing a grant it pays to stand out from the crowd.
Sheila says
I have a feeling that the people you are talking about DO think they are being original. Like the guy who walks up to Robin Williams and says, "Na-Nu, Na-Nu" (dating myself here) – he doesn't know that thousands have done it before him.
So I think the advice here should be – re-think your first idea. Is it as original as you thought it was?
E McD says
Is it rude to confess I missed you last week? Don't ever leave us again! (They were very nice blogs and very informative, though. No disrespect, of course.)
Elisabeth Black says
What about just like… not making a joke?
Natalie Whipple says
I think sometimes you have to know what people are doing to be different, too. When I was a greenie in query land, I honestly thought my statement of "I've written since I was a child" WAS original.
With research came the mortifying realization that I'd made a very newbie mistake.
You can't go against the grain unless you know what the grain is.
Susan Quinn says
The things that I think are obvious to everyone sometimes are, and sometimes everyone thinks I've lost my mind. I guess that's when I'm being original.
It's a fine line – and I'm pretty sure I don't want the agents I query to think I've lost my mind. Unless it's in a good way.
Ok, now I'm totally confused.
Nathan Bransford says
susan-
It is a fine line, and I hope the takeaway from this (very quickly written) post isn't that you HAVE to be super different. The drive to be different is what leads people to do things like send their queries in care packages that freak out an agent.
I feel like there's something to this, even if I didn't have the time today to really bore into precisely what that something is.
Suzannah says
I totally agree with Sheila. No matter what we write, there's a tendency to think we've stumbled upon some unique perspective or original idea. Unfortunately, it's almost always been done before–sometimes innumerable times.
I have to laugh sometimes when I read through blog comments and find person after person making the same obvious joke, as if no one else has already thought to write it. A simple skim-through would prevent that.
Same with writing. Sometimes knowing what's already out there only comes with experience.
Marilyn Peake says
Great advice. I’m already doing this. I think outside of the box a great deal of the time, and especially when writing. My new science fiction novel has a unique futuristic world. I'm very excited about it, especially after my brainstorming session with Alan Rinzler. We’ll see what happens, but I’m looking forward to editing the first draft of my manuscript. I read across many genres, but don’t want to write a book similar to what’s already been done. I think that would be kind of boring.
Other Lisa says
My favorite quote involving Gandhi, from BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER:
BUFFY (to evil Demon Guy): Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?
(crushes his skull with a club)
Lily: Gandhi?
BUFFY: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.
Madison says
Nathan, since you mentioned your contests in this post, I figured I'd mention that you inspired us over at AQ Connect to do a first para contest. We're in the midst of voting right now and it has turned out great! Now, we're thinking about turning the "First Paragraph" contest into a "First Page" contest. Thanks for the inspiration!
Marilyn Peake says
I agree with Natalie Whipple. With the thousands of emails arriving in agents’ inboxes, there’s absolutely no way that writers can know how many queries of each type arrive in an agent’s inbox, especially since that can change every day. On an overwhelming day, I imagine a query from a newbie writer about a brand new book as good as Cormac McCarthy’s THE ROAD would make an agent’s eyes glaze over. Another post-apocalyptic novel? YAWN. How original. A writer who can’t even be bothered to use apostrophes most of the time? Automatic rejection.. I think it’s up to the writer to write as good a book as possible and just keep searching until they click with an agent on a good day. 🙂
Dawn Maria says
Welcome back Nathan and thank you to the guest bloggers- you were great!
Nathan Bransford says
Marilyn-
Yeah, I agree it's more difficult since people can't see queries, but at the same time I'd bet most people could guess some of the most common things people joke about or do/say. I think the most important thing is just to stop every now and then and say, "Wait, is this what everyone would do?"
Anonymous says
I think it is a great thing to remind people of. Think twice. I should have taken it before posting my first comment, which came off critical, sorry.
You get one chance. Don't rush it. Another mistake I've often made.
Sheila
Susan Quinn says
I think I'm going to stick with being professional and let my originality shine through in the synopsis of my story.
And not send cheese.
And as Marilyn says, keep trying.
Livia says
Okay, this factoid may seem completely off topic, but bear me.
Did you know that the first toilet stall in the bathroom is often the one with the least bacteria? I think this is because everybody thinks that most people go to the first stall, so they go to the second or third stall to get a cleaner one.
My point is, sometimes it's not obvious what's unique, because many people may arrive at the same "unique" idea at the same time due to the cultural zeitgeit, alien brainwaves, or some other factor. I think this is partly why alot of discoveries happen independently at nearly the same time — the discovery of calculus by Newton and ..uh, Leibnitz, was it? (my history of math is bad…) It happens alot to me in my research too, when I think I have this *brilliant* idea and realize somebody else just did it.
I don't know what the moral of the story is, or how to remedy this. Perhaps just to be well read in your field.
Another moral is that you can learn alot from public bathrooms. Another moral tale can be found here
Marilyn Peake says
Nathan,
I understand that completely. But queries are a tricky thing in today’s world with so many writers and books. Say a writer has a really unique idea and isn't saying or joking about the same thing as other writers. They want to get that across in a query letter. But there are so many restrictions on query letters: keep them extremely short, concentrate on character and plot, don't concentrate primarily on thematic ideas, for example. Lots of writers freeze up and edit out all the really interesting stuff. Worse yet, and thank God this has never happened to me, some writers discover agents (not you) making fun of their query letters on Twitter. It’s not a great environment for writers to craft an out-of-the-box query letter. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done, but chances are in many cases it’s going to take a very long time to find an agent for a book that is truly different.
Triffany says
I feel like the best thing to do is just be genuine. The harder we try to stand out or impress someone, the more disingenuous we seem.
Maybe, if you're a total goofball (or staunch or "insert adjective here") the first agent may not really get you or your book, but the the one who does will be the one that will best represent your work.
Rick Daley says
I saw an interview with Christopher Walken once and he said that when he is rehearsing his dialogue, he will often think of how he would react to a situation or phrase personally, and then have his character do the opposite, e.g. if he would get angry, he would make his character laugh.
Of course, this works best if his initial reaction is the same as everybody else's. Otherwise he would forsake his unique reaction for sake of conformity.
I just made my brain hurt. Must stop now.
Genella deGrey says
And remember, they'd probably look down on quoting Yoda, too.
LOL
G.
Sierra Godfrey says
Maybe a clarification is: think about your genre. How many times have you heard of your idea and in what ways is your plot different? If it's not a terribly original plot, are you clear on what you've done to be different?
As far as queries go, I just listed a job position for my company on Craiglist and was amazed at how many respondees used the same words. Excellent, unique, perfect fit, driven, proven. Blughh! Not everyone can be unique and excellent. Use different words in your query and don't fall back on standards. I think when people get too hopeful or unsure about themselves, they tend to fall back on standard words.
The Pollinatrix says
Well, I'm a professional grant writer and the idea of quoting Gandhi seems pretty goofy.
However, I did just quote Obama in the grant I'm working on right now.
Come to think of it, the only time I've quoted Gandhi is in a blog post I did on violence and compassion: "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence." That might not be such a great quote for a grant. Unless it was for a martial arts organization, maybe.
J.J. Bennett says
I've applied for a few grants this year. So far, the ones I've applied for we've received. I'm going to take this as a positive. After reading this post and understanding I never quoted any famous person I'd say maybe…just maybe I might have a chance at this.
All Adither says
And, please. No more Conan O'Brien quotes on Facebook. 🙂
Micahel says
What great advice. And it conforms with your topic perfectly. That's not the kind of advice everyone would offer. Very creative. In fact, I'd like to quote you on my blog (we'll be talking about queries this week, with a contest). Obvioulsy, I'll give credit. (There's already a link.)
Scott says
Well said, Nathan. The query is pretty much the last page in your book, so time to stop being creative until it's completed.
Emily White says
I'm just wondering what Gandhi and grants have to do with each other.
T. Anne says
I remember thinking it was ingenious to start a query with a rhetorical question. You quickly pointed out the folly of my ways.
I find it best to just be me, and throw in the tone of the work I'm querying. Welcome back Nathan.
Bryan D says
I actually write grants for a living, and I must confess that including a Ghandi quote in a proposal has never even crossed my mind…but I get your point.
Grant writing and book writing don't share much in common other than the tools of language, but you hint at an important similarity in your post.
In most cases foundations and other organizations that award grants are looking to fund innovative proposals–those that promise a fresh or novel approach to solving a particular problem. But if a proposal is too far outside the mainstream, it's too risky and therefore unlikely to attract funding. In the same way, an author who wants to be published needs to be innovative enough that the story doesn't seem too familiar or stale but mainstream enough that it doesn't scare away the publisher (or agent) who has to sell it.
On the other hand, a query is very much like a grant proposal. If you don't include the essential information and fail to hook the reader, you don't stand a chance.
anne vinsel says
kinda tough to do anything very different here, since i can't drop and drag a photo into this space!
sometimes the constraints of the format prevent originality. for example, many medical journals have a limit on the percentage of acreage photos can take up, how's that for stifling? and a claymation video of a surgical procedure is out of the question, although it shouldn't be.
about Ghandi, would it be original to mention that he let his wife die of pneumonia rather than accept the british offer of (then new and rare) antibiotics? and that this got him elevated in Kohlberg's system of morality to the highest level?
Krista Rausin says
.eno tcerroc eht esoohc ot erus eB . tnereffid dab s'ereht dna tne reffid doog s'erehT
That's why I don't dot my i's with a smiley face. I use them at the end of a sentence:)
Brandon says
It seems like a matter of risk vs. reward to me. The daring of the original weighed against the safety of the tried-and-true. Sad to say that at this point in my own writing development and confidence, I’m more likely to just tweak the latter and hope it gets me at least partial request. “Creep my way” into an agent’s heart, rather than being an obvious showstopper. Perhaps someday, I’ll be more willing and able to try my hand at a more unique query approach.
BTW, Other Lisa, your Buffy quote was awesome! I remember the season 3 premiere with such fondness…
Kaitlyne says
Great advice, though my fear is that I don't guess well about what everyone else is doing. In working on my story it tends to stand out a bit more, but I think with queries I'm never very certain. Perhaps it's because I just haven't read enough queries.
Actually, on a similar note, reading through the contest entries from the first paragraph and the latest, one of the things I was struck by was how similar many were, many in ways I wouldn't have expected.
So do you think it's a good idea to just second guess ourselves in general, or do you have any suggestions on how to tell if what we're doing is cliche or not when it's not something we have a lot of exposure to?
Linguista says
It sounds like great advice, but I'm also with Natalie on this one. Sometimes you just can't know. They may all quote Ghandi this year, but last year, they might all have quoted Mandela, or Aristotle.
The only thing to be done is to represent who you are as a person, artist, researcher, etc…
Guinevere says
I think trying to be original is like trying to be funny. It seems like a whole lot of work, when you could just be yourself and see what happens.
But perhaps that's just my perspective because I'm not very funny!
The Pollinatrix says
I think we should all just start quoting Christopher Walken.
Anonymous says
How can we be "different" when most agent blogs have all these instructions that we must follow–or risk being deleted without a read? As creative types, it's fun to think out of the box but if we don't cross all our T's and dot our I's just so, then it's an instant e-jection. I don't make jokes in my queries, so what else do you suggest? Thanks, Nathan!
JFBookman says
I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. –Christopher Walken
Why would you need Ghandi quotes (or any other quotes for that matter) in your proposal? Why put someone else's quotes into a query?
Maybe (just a theory) if you rely only on your own words, they will stand up proudly, the representatives of all those other words of yours, and shine more brightly for it.
And anyway, you shouldn't worry about things you have no control over. Produce a great proposal, a great query, a great manuscript, and once you release it, it's pretty much out of your hands.
Anonymous says
Dear Mr. Bransford,
May I attempt to interest you in my latest novella "The Porcelain Goddess." Tank so nicknamed for his ability to crush any career stopped by to enjoy the party and found himself entranced by Miss Porcelain Turn's ability to turn a phrase. That is until she quoted Ghandi. Bored, he left. She stalked.
At first it was only quotes in his mailbox. A peace sign was burned into his lawn. His dog was murdered and a note pinned to its body, "A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do nothing else."
Threatened, Tank must now employ all his skills as a career buster to track down Miss Turn. Porcelain can take a lot of crap without complaint but when her ego is cracked, well, truth will out.
The shattered bit enclosed is from outside the rim. Enjoy your career inside the rim.
Sincerely,
Twisted Tortured Writer
RCWriterGirl says
Porcelain shattering! Given the plumbing problems I've been having lately, the last thing I want is porcelain shattering advice. So, thanks for not giving it. 🙂
Nathan Bransford says
anon@4:30-
It's sort of like writing poetry with a meter. Creativity within certain constraints.
D. G. Hudson says
Okay, now we're second guessing what others will say in a query letter, so we can be unique. That allows a lot of variables into the mix — the age of the writer, their exposure to the publishing industry, and what they have read.
I understand that we should give a lot of thought into crafting the query letter, but I agree with those that said it makes the head hurt to try and second guess all the competition. I think I'll stick with my gut instinct. Until it fails me.
Ink says
I like that poetry analogy.
I always tried to think of it as surface creativity versus substance creativity.
Flashy paper, fonts, spacing, colours, gadgets… this is surface creativity. It's buying really nice wrapping paper and ribbons and glitter for a gift. But if inside all that glitter you still only have a nose-hair trimmer… well, the excitement will only go so far.
But if you buy someone a Lamborghini, well, no wrapping is needed. Just give them the keys.
I think in a query (and in a novel, for that matter) it's the substance creativity that matters. What's inside? What's the heart of it? Is the idea and writing original and interesting? Chucking some glitter on to flash it up will only go so far.
Shelby says
I kinda sorta in a sideways manner of a way .. did that very thing just today.
Cheers.
The Daring Novelist says
The problem is that people tend to assume their ideas are above average. They assume that everybody else is doing something not very good.
Your best bet is to beat yourself. Figure you've got to beat at least your own top three ideas.
Brandon says
Can I just say that Anon @ 4:56 is pretty damn clever? 🙂
abc says
"When I was a kid I joined the circus. I did that. It is true. But it's not like you think. There was a guy, he had his own circus. His name was Carol Jacobs and he owned it. It was a small thing." –Christopher Walken
Remember how you always wanted to start a college paper with "Webster's Dictionary defines SOME WORD as BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH." I wonder how many papers college professors have to read that start that very way.
Also, I was guilty of having unrequited love in my teenage diary writing prompt contest entry. I couldn't help it–that is just so teenage years to me. But then I read the other entires and thought "oh no".
maine character says
Love the Buffy quote.
And a good way to remember how to spell Gandhi is to picture him waving “hi.”
Dara says
Great advice! I think the best thing we can do is just let our voice and our story outshine the others. Ultimately that's what it comes down to–capturing the reader's (in this case, the agent or editor) attention and making our story so compelling they can't think of saying no.
Of course it's a lot easier said than done 😛 But that's the challenge!
Marilyn Peake says
I love all the references to Christopher Walken. He’s hilarious! How about the video where he’s dancing (and flying!) to Fatboy Slim’s WEAPON OF CHOICE? Or the video where Christopher Walken reads all the words to Lady Gaga’s POKER FACE! LOL. What a hoot!