When Jacob Wonderbar went out to editors I really thought I was going to be completely cool about the submission process. I’m an agent! I’ve seen this before! I’ve sold projects that were out on submission for six months and even a year! How hard could it be?
So. Being a Big Bad Experienced Agent, how long did it take me to crack?
A week and a half.
A WEEK AND A HALF.
That’s how long it took before I woke up in the middle of the night to check my e-mail and whisper, “It’s not going to sell! It’s not going to sell. I can’t believe it, it’s not going to sell.”
Now, bear in mind that I know that even when books sell they almost never sell in a week and a half. I know that!! A book selling in a week and a half is almost unheard of. But for some reason everything I knew went out the window. It’s like I turned into a doctor who’s afraid of needles.
Luckily I was able to keep my panic within the walls of my apartment, but all the same. The experience gave me a huge new respect for just how hard it is to be waiting to hear about your manuscript.
Writing is hard. It’s hard, it’s time-consuming, it’s solitary… it’s hard. But at least it’s within your control. You can change things, you can work harder and revise more, and it’s all within your reach. Writing is the fun part.
The frustrating thing about submitting to agents and editors is that there’s nothing. you. can. do. about. it. Once you hit send you’re at their mercy. The stress of always wondering if today is the day you’re going to receive good or bad news, of always sneaking peeks at your e-mail, and trying to be cool and composed in front of the people who are invested in your work, and hearing all those nos before you get your yeses…. it’s a steady stress that wears you down.
Everyone has their breaking point. Turns out mine is embarrassingly short.
Now that I’ve gone through this myself, I really really try as much as I can to avoid keeping people waiting. I try so hard to keep waiting to a minimum. At the same time, a certain amount of time is just built into the process simply because it takes a long time to read a lot of different projects.
How do you cope with the waiting?
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Art: George Goodwin Kilburne – Awaiting the Return of the Fleet
It's great to hear about the process from your perspective as both a writer and an agent… it gives what you say extra credibility and relatability!
Nathan, I've always loved reading your blog, but now I love it EVEN MORE. I wish you would write more about your journey as a writer & the 'path to publication'. Because you understand the whole process from BOTH sides, and that's so valuable. 🙂
My editor is also a writer (with his debut novel coming out the same year as mine!) and I think it's brilliant. I love that!
JACOB WONDERBAR is a middle grade novel about three kids who trade a corndog for a spaceship, blast into space, break the universe, and have to find their way home.
Nathan, "break the universe"!
Too fun. Vonnegut would be proud (and mad he didn't think of it).
I had a book that did sell in a week and my breaking point came on day seven. Fortunately, my wonderfully profession and experienced agent help me navigate the experience. To pass the time as I waited, I rubbbed calamine lotion on the hives that started on day one.
Yes, waiting isn't for the faint of heart, is it? While I haven't actually sent out and queries or submissions, my husband and I are in the middle of the adoption process and are waiting to be matched with a baby. Waiting is a mind game, at best.
I have a full and a partial out with agents, and waiting is ridiculously hard.
I distract myself by being a glutton for punishment: Team Mom for my son's hockey team. Working tirelessly to please difficult people is always a fun time.
I try to pretend I'm not getting antsy to hear something … anything.
It never works.
I eat lots of chocolate. If I don't receive a positive response by the end of this week, I should be a shoe in for next season's The Biggest Loser.
I've got a full out with an un-named agent right now. It's been there since June. In June she "loved" the first three chapters and just wanted to let me know in case I got any other offers. In July she was "loving" the middle and wanted me to know in case I got any offers. In September she emailed me, didn't mention if she'd finished the ms or not, but asked if I'd gotten any other offers. It's now November.
How do you cope? It goes in stages. At first you are thrilled for the attention, and willing to wait. Then you are stunned its "still" being considered, so that's a smallish comfort, and then after six months you're convinced the agent is an idiot or is just waiting for you to get another agent offer so they can swing in and make one as well — which means the agent doesn't really know what "I love this manuscript" means.
There is no "coping," you just move on. Also, you tell all your writer friends so they can avoid that agent.
Email… Check
Mail Box… Check
Ego….. unCheck
I am glad to read that writers aren't the only ones who have trouble coping with the waiting. I am very impatient. I check my mail constantly. What makes it worse is that some publishers don't notify you now if they are not interested, so I may never get that email that I'm waiting for. A simple form letter would be nice and not time consuming. thanks for giving us the chance to vent.
Since I'm waiting for so many things that have not as yet arrived, I find a five hour nap really breaks up the day. But what is this CIV of which you speak?
Waiting sucks, true. But NEVER hearing is way worse. Especially from agents and editors who have requested fulls.
These are the people I really want to slap because it's a clear message that they believe their time is more valuable than mine.
If I take the time to research what you represent, read interviews about your preferences, study your guidelines and send you polished pages, then have the decency to at least tell me to take a hike.
Of course, this didn't happen with you, Nathan. But so many would rather twitter than send a form letter rejection to an author.
Barbra Annino
A few minutes ago, I finished reading all the comments in this thread. It feels great to realize exactly how NOT alone I am in the writing/publishing game. And now to return to my scheduled avoidance tactics for today: working out on the treadmill and framing photographs. I’ve discovered that some of the thousands of photographs I’ve taken over the last twenty years have started to fade. I am horrified! I understand that it’s now possible to scan photographs into the computer or work directly from the negative, bump up the colors and print out a brand new photo. If I do that with all my photographs, I may have discovered a rather long-lasting, time-intensive avoidance technique to engage in while waiting on book-related matters. 🙂
Nathan-
I just LOVED this post. A week and a half! And your poor wife, waking up to see you babbling…I feel yoah pain!
Now you know why it's taking me so long to work up the courage to query you. 🙂
JB
Nathan, I recently sent a query your way and you were amazingly fast with your response, even though it was a rejection. While I appreciated the speed of it (you are true to your word there), I still wish even one line could be dedicated to the reason for the rejection. It's hard to know where to turn after a "not right for us" response. And as you know, so much work occurs even before our query comes to be. I know it's tough on your end too but I wish there were a way for you to give us rejects one main, specific reason for rejection. Anyway, it is heartening to know you understand the waiting and possible rejection. I have no doubt you will do well. You are already in the public eye fairly prominently so that will go a long way in drawing the interested eyes of book buyers. I wish you luck in both author and agent pursuits.
Nathan,
Tell me about it! CIV is the greatest game in the history of games. I'm doomed to sit in my chair for at least three and a half hours if I dare start a game. And I always win. Mwahahahaha! Is it sick that I derive pleasure in my opponents begging for mercy as I surround their last city with my mechanized infantry? Probably. 😮
Welcome to MY world, Nathan.
"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish
something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will
pass anyway; we might just as well put that
passing time to the best possible use."
— Earl Nightingale
I eat a lot of chocolate. Then I run- hard. I sleep in a mouthguard. I've almost started wearing it when I'm on the computer. I also keep writing and I keep querying, entering contests, etc. Waiting sucks but the outcome is worth waiting for and worth trying again.
I wish more agents were like you. I know you get just as many, if not more, queries than other agents; yet you respond. Thanks!
I sounds like going through the process of being a writer is making you a very sympathetic agent.
"How do you cope with the waiting?"
It's something that comes with time and experience. And it doesn't come easy either.
I know that sounds too simple. But once you consciously understand there's no other choice, it becomes a way of life.
Great blog. Refreshing honesty from someone "in the game." I wait it out the same way I wait out other news. I stay busy…with writing, yes, but also with the other parts of my life. I keep "writing" in perspective. It's the best way for me to cope. Patrice
Seriously…and sadly…I stopped submitting and these days just write. It's very easy to deal with the wait when there is nothing to wait for.
By the way, Wonderbar does sound great, so I suspect it is. That said, I got to think that in your heart of hearts you must know that to be true. And doesn't that make the waiting easier?
No? I know.
I just kiss the ms. goodbye and forget about it. My expectations are low, so I never wait.
A few days before the response arrives (which may be months later)I have a sixth sense about the thing and start thinking, re-reading it, checking mail, email, going to the website of the agent. It's creepy, almost like I KNOW the rejection is on its way. : )
It's strange but I don't really get that angsty. The whole thing is so subjective that I don't get too upset or overly worry about rejection.
I check my email maybe once a day since I have a completely separate account I use for my writing business.
I suppose if I actually get an agent for my novels then I might worry about it selling to a publisher. Until then, I enjoy life and don't let this drag me down. It's not the end of the world.
Word verification: heing – the act of being a male.
Thanks for sharing. Your posts are always so smart and well written. Having said that, I am quite neurotic and I HATE waiting–for anything. So, I put my energy into something new, whether a novel or totally different endeavor. On the email side, checking never helps, as it is true what they say about a watched pot. So, I've decided to put sound alerts on my Blackberry. This way, I'll know when an email comes in from someone I've queried. If my Blackberry makes a certain noise, I race to read it. Whatever the news, I"m prepared to read it as I know what it is–a response to my query. I've made the waiting easier for myself this way. As long as the Blackberry is silent, my life continues at it's normal pace. Inside, I'm freaking out.
I'm very cool while waiting. No one would even know I was waiting. Really. No one. I simply set up a small tent next to the mailbox and stay there until I get a response.
I deal with it the way I deal with most anxiety: I eat my students' candy.
How do you cope with the waiting?
I basically engage in activities that help me forget it's even out there. May I suggest a single malt?
Doggone it, Nathan, you've done it now.
I've got to go crank up some Tom Petty because I've got that song running through my head,
The way-ya-ting is the hardest part!
It really is. I cope by writing. And more writing. And, may I also say, a bit of writing?
Onward and upward – I've got 4 more ms to refine and polish while way-ya-ting for a response.
🙂
I tend to overeat. Or vomit. Like I did in the car on the way to my very first workshopping experience.
Hah – it's funny because I just found out I made the final cut in Stuart Neville's Ghosts of Belfast contest and instead of getting ready for school, I'm obsessively checking into Twitter to see if I have any votes.
If I ever thought I'd be cool about this sort of thing, I was wrong.
Write something new.
This blog post is so perfect for me today! I completed my MS yesterday. Sending queries this week and I guess gonna overeat, nap, cry, spazz, and write (not nessessary in that order).
I am an optimist; I think the best way to live is never believing you’ll fail. Maybe if I can keep that momentum it won’t be so bad.
Let me tell you, it doesn't help — though I know they're sincerely trying to help — when family and friends are all chorusing, "Your book needs to be out there so people can read it and learn something important," etc. I know they mean well. But it takes all the grace of God in my heart to keep from shouting, "I KNOW! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT???"
Nathan, it's great (for us) to hear that you understand. Not that I wish the waiting on anyone.
I bet your clients are loving how prompt you are!
Thank you for sharing, as others have said. I cope by staying busy and by telling myself this is the fun part of being a writer. Some day I'll be published and there will be deadlines, promotions, edits… Right now, I can just write and love every minute of it.
What a great post. It's nice to know that someone "in the biz" gets as crazy with the process as us lowly no-name writers.:)
Ah, this is a rather endearing post. And empathic. 🙂
When I'm waiting for something I really, really want, I engage in an extremely mature and rational discussion with the Universe. It starts with:
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please,
Then I'll throw in a few bribes on the order of how good I'll be if I get this. Then I'll throw in a few threats about how bad I'll be if I don't. Then I'll move onto more sophisticated methods, like trying to make the Universe feel guilty and/or sorry for me, so it will give me what I want. If I really want it, I'll throw in a bargain: give me this, and I'll recycle all my water bottles. Forever.
Then, when I've exhausted all the other options, I go back to begging:
Please, please, please, please, please.
I haven't measured the effectiveness of these methods, but they must work, because I continue to apply them every time.
I only have one question…
How the heck did you manage to make it a week and a half?
It's been less than 24 hours since I had a publisher tell me he was interested in my novel and I'm checking email every ten minutes!
What's the secret to your patience?
Waiting is like having your teeth extracted without pain relief. Need I go on…
Good post 🙂
Great timing since I have a book out on submission now :).
Two things have helped me in the past couple weeks (now I feel like a super star for having passed the week and a half point!):
1) Having a totally awesome, communicative agent who keeps me up to date and is always there if I need to check in.
2) Being insanely busy. Between the day job, starting additional freelance work, networking, etc., I'm can't find time to write on my next work-in-progress, let alone remember to freak out about being out on submission…
When #2 inevitably wears off and the freaking out seeps in no matter what, I'll be glad to have #1 – and two other projects in the works – to rely on.
nathan-nice to know you're human. seriously! how do i cope? i don't know, right now, i'm still coping with rejection + procrastination. currently building my platform so i can one day get published.
Best advice I've been given, though not following to well at the moment, is to start writing your next best seller as soon as you send off a work to agents. That way you have something to hold onto when the standard rejection letters come.
One point though I'd like to make, realising it has probably been said before but I've not read all 197 comments, is that IS A QUICK RESPONSE ACTUALLY THE BEST ONE? In this I mean, a 5 minute NO as opposed to a one month NO lacks one thing – any HOPE for the author. Because while there is something out there, there is HOPE. It's HOPE that'll keep us believing in ourselves. Clearly hearing back in 5 minutes is better than never hearing, granted. But at least with a NO after one month it feels like they've considered the project – and it gave me a little hope in the mean time, even if the result was the same as the 5 minute response. I know the reason for the 5 minute responses, I do. I understand. But we all need some hope as well at the end of the day. Just my thoughts, and I realise I've said hope like a hundred times already…:-)
By writing some more.
Really. I have a ms out with a few agents right now, and the only way to keep from hovering over the inbox is to write. Constantly.
At least I'll have a new first draft done by the end of the year.
I get all Eeyore and stuff.
There's nothing quite like success when (if) it falls from a gloomy sky.
Judging from your recent turnaround on my query, you do a great job not keeping authors waiting.
As far as coping? Honestly I try my best to forget I've even sent it out. That doesn't always work, but when it does, I then dread the moment the submission comes creeping back into my mind, because as soon as I mention it, everything's lost. There's no faster way to get a negative response than to start wondering if the slow turnaround means something positive.
Okay, I know that isn't true, but it sure feels like it. Seriously, you've figured out the truth about writing. It's control. And as soon as I lose that control, the stress wins, so the best defense is focusing on something else until I forget I've sent it out. Oh, and one other thing? The universe is against us. No matter the space between submissions (though possibly this only affects short stories), the rejections return in clusters.
As someone else said, surround yourself with writers who will sympathize. Most people just don't get it.
It looks like others here have already covered all my coping strategies. Actually, I don't recall anyone else mentioning rocking slowly in a corner…but I know I can't be alone here, right?
Actually, I just try to forget about it as much as possible: focus on my day job, work on marketing myself and building my "Author Name" as a brand, blogging, and of course, work on other projects.
Don't get me wrong, I check the email address that submission replies will come into every minute (yes, the email client actually checks it every minute!) Aside from that, all I can do is keep telling myself that the work isn't going anywhere and that there's no "shelf life" on a good story.
Frankly, I no longer wait well at all. I did at first. But now that my rejections are mounting (on various projects) I don't wait well at all. I fuss at myself and despair that I will ever gain an agent, much less be successfully published. Then I get angry for moping. Then I think moping isn't so bad, after all this is what I want to do with my life. Then I start the process all over again…