[blank] Are the New Vampires November 5, 2009 by Nathan Bransford 276 Comments Come on, you know you want to try it. Insert your own guess in the comments. I’m going with fallen pirate apocalyptic ninja angels as the new vampire.
Patricia Stoltey says
Trolls are the new vampires.
I see a return to old-school –
Human anguished teenagers dealing with everyday life.
Kat Harris says
Brandi Schmidt says
Wolverines that search out a meal by clawing & climbing from house to house, finding and devouring the poor souls that can’t pay the hefty town dues. Everyone fears the new moon. (Next MS?)
Not my usually light-hearted lovesick side, thanks for bringing this out Nathan. Now I can’t stop thinking about vampires, zombies, and scary evil kittens.
Robert Michael says
Malicious Malelovent Manatees. Or maybe Kelpies (Irish water spirits). Hey, I got dibs on that one…
Laurie Boris says
Anorectic zombie sluts who can kill with their minds…but not with their hearts.
Peter Hoflich says
I see there have been a few votes for bankers, that's great. They are, after all, vampire squid. Vampire squid probably aren't the new vampires, but bankers are.
Someone could actually take most of the mythical creatures mentioned in this blog and create a rambling absurd screenplay/novel/epic poem. Has anyone tried? Can we make it a contest?
There are so many other things that could be vampires, though:
– rock stars! look no further than Glen Danzig
– zombie rock stars! look no further than Kurt Cobain (or an undead Glen Danzig; see Misfits song "Braineaters")
– if nobody cares about rock stars, how about New York taxi drivers? they're coming to your town next
– GIs (or ex-GIs)
– the cartoon characters of our youth (Batmite, anyone?)
– authors who write about sparkly vampires?
We can have hours of fun with this one…
Melissa Petreshock says
I may be a little late on this, but I just wanted to jump in and give my opinion. The new vampires are seemingly normal teenagers who have supernatural powers and are part of a subspecies of humans that safeguard our overall safety and peace. The of course are also friends with vampires and shape-shifters as well since they are all part of the supernatural underground life.
Of course, I say this all because my well-liked self-published YA book is about this, although the vampires and shape-shifters aren't introduced until book two of the proposed series. Book two is my current WIP. You can find out all about it at http://www.melissapetreshock.com
I also want to add that vampires have been popular for so long although Twilight brought them really front and center that I don't think vampires are going to be unpopular with the YA crowd anytime soon.
Amish witches who work at Wal-Mart on the weekends.
Nick F. says
Ninja Jedi Pirates are the new vampire
One-legged peaceful Muslim extremists
Linda Urban says
Seriously. With all the nut allergy kids now in their teens?
Plus the opportunity for double entendre?
Lookout, Skippy. There's one behind you.
A real boy meets a real girl and, uh, they talk.
Star Mama says
It's not mothers with corny aliases who lose sleep writing blogs about raising children, being unemployed and taking odd jobs? Dang. Some day . . .
Pit Bulls Are the New Vampires.
Both have received bad reputations from hysterical people!
Your average, every day eighth grade girls + piles of voice + a level of self-centeredness that makes the sun feel mild to moderately insignificant are definitely the new vampires.
I'm just sayin… magic and angels, and demons,and faeries and now even zombies are being beaten to death, or, you know, whatever you are if you're being beaten when already dead.
Oh, and the Navajo Skin Walkers comment is totally gonna give me bad dreams AND freak me out the next time I'm driving at night.
Dang you, Jacqui!!
I forgot all about those.
Those are the scariest hands down.
Homeless peoples, who are actually vampire/pirate/zombies.
I'm going with gnomes.
– They like to travel
– They already have movie experience (think Amelie)
– They have corporate sponsorship (think Travelosity)
– Their good at pranks
– They fit into the overhead bin as a carry on
It'll be the centuries old battle between the evil were-ladybirds, and the kindly talking moths.
Forest rangers are the new vampires. There are going to be LOTS of novels about forest rangers coming out in the next five years. Just wait and see!
I will second the Penny Arcade comment, with a link to the comic:
Steampunk all the way–maybe with fallen angels thrown into the mix. And witty teen criminal masterminds!
Deborah Alys Carter says
Apparently, we were all wrong. Poor,illiterate and scratching out an existence in the ghetto is the new Vampire. Could this mean readers will prefer depressing reality to depressing fantasy?
Has anyone seen this: Cowboy Viking Ninja?