Now that we have a…. healthy sample size of first paragraphs (1,758 at the moment), it’s possible to get a good glimpse inside an agent’s inbox and to simulate the experience of reading lots and lots of different story ideas in one sitting.
So. What do you think makes for a good first paragraph? What types of openings draw you in and which kinds leave you cold? Have you spotted any favorites? What was it about them that piqued your interest?
I shall be withholding my thoughts as the contest is still ongoing, but I’d be curious to know what you think.
I didn't know the answer to this question until I had read a large number of the entries. That made me realise it is voice that makes it interesting.
I've usually read the blurb already, and most of us are content to read at least one chapter, which gives the author time to orient us and hook us in with unanswered questions and interesting world/character revelations. But the thing that strikes me instantly about the writing and lets me know if I'll like it, is the voice.
I always thought voice was over-rated. It was fascinating to find out that it's such a big part of my own reading experience 🙂
A first paragraph needs to excite me and make me continue reading. I don't like when the very first words are the characters name or when the first paragraph contains coarse language. That just throws me out of my groove right away. It can come in later.
There are so many entries! I only got through so many, not even my own!
I liked Dave Kubicek, his was sweet and drew me in. JMatthew Saunders entry was exciting and I wanted more. Chris Pasley did a good job too. What are they in quaratine for?
In media res is kind of icky for me–Liam no likey.
Because the whole, "now let's back up" thing ticks me off.
I don't read the jacket of a book, but when I open to page one,I already have an anticipation for the story based on the author (if already sampled),the title, and yes, the jacket design/picture. So the first paragraph must intrigue me. It doesn't have to 'hook' me or shock me, but must thrill me (Phillip Depoy) or it must open a window into the memory of characters (Laurie King), settings, or styles of writing (Nancy Werlin) that I've been mesmerized by before. When I stumble onto something truly different, then I read and read to find the story….and it must matter. I've just listened again to Atonement….and it takes so long for the scope of the injustice to be known. I couldn't have stopped at the first paragraph.
I think a good 1st paragraph pulls the readers into the story and makes them want to know what is happening.
Thomas Burchfield –
I was also thinking about the first line in MOBY DICK tonight, and was going to mention it: "Call me Ishmael." I find it interesting that modern books have both simple and complicated openings. The opening to FOUCAULT’S PENDULUM by Umberto Eco is sort of a mixture. The first paragraph is simply: "That was when I saw the Pendulum." Right above that line is something written in Hebrew. According to Wikipedia:
—–
The book begins with a long quote in Hebrew, which comes from page seven of Philip Berg's book The Kabbalah: A Study of the Ten Luminous Emanations from Rabbi Isaac Luria with the Commentaries Sufficient for the Beginner Vol. II, published in Jerusalem by the Kabbalah Centre in 1973. The quotation translates into English as follows:
When the Light of the Endless was drawn in the form of a straight line in the Void… it was not drawn and extended immediately downwards, indeed it extended slowly — that is to say, at first the Line of Light began to extend and at the very start of its extension in the secret of the Line it was drawn and shaped into a wheel, perfectly circular all around.
—–
… Not exactly a catchy beginning, unless you like that kind of thing … which I do, very much. 🙂
Crickets!
Mine is too long and the 1st sentence–dialogue.
Ugh. I'm just going to have to sit here on this tree stump and pout until the emotion passes.
Vampire rocks back and forth, clutching her head between her palms, wringing dirty hair between fingers. She grumbles a sullen chant, "I am a good writer. I am a good writer. I…" before silencing herself–startled by the sound of crimping leaves. She looks up, eyes her target through the brush, and charges.
A more respectable paragraph won't follow a cliche recipe for the introduction -kill someone, make an outrageous statement, etc. Any reader worth their weight will be able to pick out the "insincere" paragraphs that rely on tricking the reader into their world with some shiny (and unoriginal) intro. I'd rather have nothing miraculous happen in the first few sentences, and instead, paint a nice scene will at least allow me to give the author some credibility.
A good first paragraph starts with action,introduces your vp character, and ends with a question in the reader's mind. Preferably, the question is "what happens next?" and draws the reader into the story.
I like my first paragraphs to be short, and give me a sense of the character or the world without dropping a bucket of details in my lap. One of my favorite openers of all time is from Stehpen King's Gunslinger series:
"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."
Short, interesting and gives you just a hint of the weird.
I have to admit, as interested as I am in my own story, I have no qualms with several other (most other) entrants winning, as it might lead to them getting published and me reading the rest of their stories.
There are a lot of really good entries. What amazes me most, though, is that I can appreciate any genre when the writing is exceptional.
I like something that sets you right in the middle of the story, but doesn't slap you upside the face with action that seems designed to simply shock. I like something that catches you enough to make you care about the character – or dislike the character – enough to want to continue…
When I pick up a book in a bookstore, I:
– read the jacket copy… sound intriguing?
– read the blurbs… are they from someone credible?
– if I'm still interested, open to a random page and read a few paragraphs
– turn randomly to another page and read on… do I still like this author?
I guess this means that I don't care about how the author starts the novel, I just want to know if I'm in good hands.
i've only read up to about 200 and there were a few that stood out for me. but my favourites are annerallen and timdibulator
Man-o-manishewitz! I bet you're wishing you'd run the contest for one day instead of four! I hope you're enjoying the reading. My eyes went bleary after about 300. I can't imagine staying focused for well over 2,000!!!
I certainly hope you gain at least one wonderful client out of this. From what I can see, there are a whole lot of great writers out there.
Thanks again. I, for one, am beyond amazed.
I like a paragraph that starts with a really catchy opening line. Like
"Call me Ishmael" from Moby Dick. The rest of the paragraph has to follow up on that opening, that line that makes you sit back and go, "wow". Start with a statement that hooks you, follow with an explanation of that thought, and then go on to lead into the actual story.
I want to feel sympathy, love, or compassion for the MC. Not just any strong feeling, but a strong positive one.
I'm finding, as I read through the submissions, that I tend to prefer a more distant tone at the beginning — I like to be drawn into the character's thoughts slowly rather than starting deep inside. This even applies to first person.
Unrelated, sometimes I start skimming some of the longer submissions (say, the ones that start with descriptions of the sound of shoes on the floor or how the character is feeling) only to be stopped towards the end by an interesting phrase or idea, one that, if it had opened the story, would have drawn me in right away.
I don't think the first paragraph needs to do everything. It should hint at things without saying anything outright, but some of the paragraphs I read felt like they should be on the back of the book, not the opening page. (For the record, I've read a pathetically small sample of them, so feel free to disregard my comments entirely).
I think the ones I like have (1) a character I can identify with, (2) some kind of tension (though it doesn't have to be THE tension, by any means), and (3) a voice. Voice is really, really hard to define, but I think part of it has to do with making me smile.
I like paragraphs that introduce the character or the setting, in a way that makes me wonder what's going on.
Some openings focus too much on introducing, so you don't have any reason to think anything's going to happen. Others focus too much on the wondering, and you're left not knowing who it is being chased by zombies or where the chasing is happening. It needs a balance of both.
I look for interesting voice or hints of an interesting story. If the back got me to look inside, then all you really need is proof of interesting writing for me to be willing to keep going.
What gets and keeps my attention is a glimpse of an interesting character or situation.
What turns me off…is a lot of things. One is anything that seems to be patterned on a "killer first line" formula — you can tell, it has all the parts. *reminds self to write a humorous piece delineating all the parts*
No way I've read very many of the entries yet, but there are some that stick in my mind because they gave me something to want more of. They didn't try to pack too much into the first sentence, just offered an honest look into something going on. Might have been serious, might have been pure farce, but it was not pure fake.
BTW, now that I have DSL I might be more of a pest around here…*snerk*
I merely want to be intrigued and like the author's voice. There are of course, more than 1758 ways of doing this. It can be quiet and subtle or an over the top bang. It matters more in how the author conveys what they have to say than what is actually said. I don't care if it's dialogue or description or action. Really, I just need something that is going to make me want to read the next paragraph and the next and the next. If I read that first paragraph and don't mind putting the book back down, then the author hasn't quite done it for me.
Solid writing, a strong voice, a compelling subject — the same things that make a good book.
Since readers are looking for a wide variety of "openings", and writers are even more varied (I suspect, reading the breadth of comments here), the question becomes: What does the Agent look for?
*borrows Nathan's Superpower Spectacles*
Now, does this first paragraph fulfill the promise of that awesome query letter? And will it appeal to the fickle masses?
Here's my breakdown:
– Only about 10% are poor or just miss the mark entirely for a variety of reasons.
– 10% are good, not great, but good.
– 78% are mediocre, and I don't mean that pejoratively, because they're not bad, they just don't make me want to read more.
– 1 – 2% at most are very good.
I commented too fast, and my point was lost.
I should have said, first sentences, first paragraphs, first pages, first chapters are never easy, even after you are published.
However, in my limited experience I can say that for me, every book has been harder to write than the previous book–especially the beginnings–since I have been published. It does not get easier. One of the most naive things I believed prior to publication was that once I had a couple books published, I'd know "it all" (whatever "it" is) and therefore the books would come easier. Ha! I'm writing #14 now and I'm still waiting for it to get easier….
(Hi Terri!)
What makes a good 1st paragraph?
The promise that it is going to take you somewhere.
It doesn't have to: be fast-paced, deep-thought, in media res, gory, a mystery, shocking, lyrical, allegorical, humorous, deep or distant penetration, start with a full name, setting or weather reports.
It'd be nice to have something to ground you in the story (character, inside or outside, clues to the time period, and–if it's speculative–a speculative element), but if it leads me in, I'll follow.
Nathan, curious if you will let us know what you're drawn to in this contest. Just paragraphs that you like? Or well written ones that you would never represent someday, but appreciate nonetheless? Hope you give us a good rundown on your crazy brain.
Um, I mean crazy as in "you're nuts to agree to reading all these entries."
Over 2k entries. Oh my!
I think a good first paragraph has to succeed in drawing the reader into the story. First lines are paramount!
What makes a good 1st Paragraph is a hook. Period.
It seems to me, most of the "discussion" here is describing what hooks you.
I'll be the 101st to say that voice is what makes a good first paragraph. A good first paragraph can introduce the characters but, in the end, it's the voice that will make me settle back into my chair to read that book and any subsequent books by that author.
After having read the first 200 entries, I yearned for opening sentences with a simple subject-verb-complement structure, a person doing something maybe with a hint to place and time. I want a nice basic-vocabulary verb and specific noun phrases. Simple and active.
The paragraph is a unit, and even in narration should have a topic. Especially the first paragraph doesn't bear hopping around.
I made a list of things I'll avoid in the future: Starting with a big bang, with death, with a still life (like when the character is stopped in mid action), beginning with "it is/it was", with a participle phrase. Having a catchy first sentence, and undoing it in the second with an ironic comment. No personal pronouns as the first introduction of the character. No characters waking up, not knowing where they are.
I hope I'll get past the pet peeve stage because you can of course break any of these "rules" and make it work. Though I don't think you should break more than one at a time.
If you can be subtly shocking… well do that.
Either way, I want my first paragraph to be LOADED, meaning, once I've read the whole book, I want to come back to the first paragraph and realize how profound and poignant it was, yet simple. How much it said, without shouting anything out.
What makes a good first paragraph?
Easy. It's one that makes me want to read the second paragraph.
I agree that many of the "paragraphs" entered are just groups of sentences which shouldn't really be all 1 paragraph. Also, some of the long 'graphs should really be split into 2 or more para's. Every para. should have a focused topic, and I don't see that in many of them here.
If Death had a face, she was looking at it. And it wanted to make love to her.
“I love you. I could never live without you.” Robert kissed her cheek.
He pressed himself against her. She braced herself. The pain would come. She never knew exactly when, only that it would.
Anne, FYI: you have to enter your 'graph in the Contest thread.
But while I'm on the subject of your 'graph, I think it would be better as several shorter 'graphs.
A few good ones, maaaaany bad!
I'll admit that I like Kat O'keefe's because she very succinctly made me wonder about the main charecters by saying just one thing they did a day or so before.
CoffeewithKate also struck my interest with her alluding to some self-loathing based transformation.
I guess I dig strong charecterization. Whatever happens, I want to be interested in who it's happening to.
ATTACK OF THE WANNABE GENRE MONSTERS!
When I write a first paragraph, I'm trying to make it interesting enough that I'm not bored silly reading it later. If I can keep my own attention, then I figure it's a good start.
Unfortunately, though I probably miss out on a lot of excellent books because of this tendency, it still stands that unless I have a strong recommendation for the book from someone whose opinion I trust, if the first paragraphs have begun too slowly, or don't hint toward some unique experience, then I'm out.
(This after I waded exhaustively through David Eddings' "The Redemption of Althalus" until 3/4 of the way through I realized it wasn't getting any better. Maybe that's when I started being more critical.)
I passed on any entry that had "suck" in the first sentence.
Nathan,
Any chance you might share your 1st paragraph from Jacob's story with us to see how the rest of us compare? 😛
Just a thought about the idea to check NY Times bestsellers–
To have a fair comparison, we would really need to look at NY Times bestselling debut novels (or at least from novelists hitting the list for the first time). I agree with the others who have said we don't really care about first pages when we know an author. When I don't know an author, on the other hand, I always flip to the first page when I don't know an author– I need to figure out if the story and the voice grabs me. I like simple and gorgeous writing.
If an author (for example, Janet Evanovich) is basically guaranteed to hit the list with every new book, I'm not sure the opening page would stand up to the kind of scrutiny that a debut author's opening page gets.
The way I read first paragraphs are totally transparent to me. I rarely notice they are there, or could tell you what was in thyem. I usually glance at several pages, often as not in the middle, before deciding iif I like a book.
But what is interesting is the way my sense of *writing* a first paragraph changed when I entered this contest. My original first paragraph was expository "flash forward". Well, strictly speaking, expository in the assumed present in which the viewpoint character looks back on the events of the previous 2 years – which is the timeline of the actual story. Well, anyway, it was expository. Tells you in plain lannguage who the main character is and what the story is to be about.
For my entry, I did a quick rewrite beginning with original third paragraph and consolidating several short paragraphs into one loong one. (My paragraphing is arbitrary and casual anyway, I think it works as well as one as it did as several).
The paragraph as entered is much more of a teaser. It exposes the reader directly and immediately to the character's distinctive (I hope!) voice, in the middle of a situation whose import is not entirely clear, even to her. ANd, yes, it is at least half dialogue, although not starting wit hthe forst sentence.
-Steve
For me, the perfect opening paragraph gives me some sense of character. If the opening isn't character-driven, a strong voice will do me.
I'm quite fussy about opening lines, though – I want something unusual and gripping, but not gimmicky. I can't stand it when I feel a writer has decided to come up with an opening line that grabs me with its surreality but doesn't do much else.
This isn't to say that surreal opening lines can't work (The Metamorphosis, anyone? and I'm certain there are others I like) but they make me very cautious, and I put the writer under a lot of pressure to follow up.
I have a few favorites that I would love to see more of. Some things I noticed about the ones I liked were that it was evident right from the first sentence that the writing was tight. Also, I noticed that I am more drawn to short first paragraphs (guess I have a short attention span). Also, the first sentences were usually an interesting observation or a seemingly random fact. Makes me wonder how these statements tie into these stories' themes, so I want to read on.
Well, to me the opening paragraph is what makes or kills the book. If I don't get sucked in by that time (or even the first page), I'm not going to read the book. So, I like for the first paragraph to be bizzare enough, interesting enough and simple enough to set up the story and MC's voice.
But that's just me 🙂 and I'm an avid fan of Charlaine Harris, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Patricia Briggs and Lori Handeland. I like strange stuff 😉
The idea of the readers getting to vote on their favorites would be a little unfair, as the earlier entries would get better reading than the later ones. Some of us live in different time zones and posted later than others. I live in Azerbaijan…