Now that we have a…. healthy sample size of first paragraphs (1,758 at the moment), it’s possible to get a good glimpse inside an agent’s inbox and to simulate the experience of reading lots and lots of different story ideas in one sitting.
So. What do you think makes for a good first paragraph? What types of openings draw you in and which kinds leave you cold? Have you spotted any favorites? What was it about them that piqued your interest?
I shall be withholding my thoughts as the contest is still ongoing, but I’d be curious to know what you think.
A first paragraph, for me, should be where the story really begins. Which means I want to read about something HAPPENING, not a bunch of boring description. When I'm writing, I constantly ask myself if this scene moves my story forward, which is also important in a first paragraph. Something should change. I'm still a newbie when it comes to writing, but I have read since I was four years old and that has given me some ideas on what pulls me into a book and what makes me put it down. If the first paragraph doesn't do the trick….the rest of the book won't either.
I totally spotted some paragraphs that I liked and wished I wrote. Of course, I thought mine wasn't bad but wished I had a longer paragraph, like some others. In the end, I decided that mine would hook a teen reader, and that's what I'm going for, right? There were certainly some others that I hope get published so I can find out what happens!
My word verification is: mulan. Interesting. Now I shall be singing that Christina Aguilera song all night.
When it seems as if the writer right-clicked and picked the longest synonym they could find for every other word, I want to poke my eyeballs out. These type of writers make themselves known in the first paragraph, I think.
Personally, I love to laugh, so funny intros are a favorite and writers who are able to create imagery without spelling it out in strings of adjectives. That takes a real talent. 🙂 Plus, I want to get a sense of who the MC is immediately. Connection is key to my liking a story and that starts from the beginning.
I pray Nathan doesn't go blind as he reads all of these paragraphs.
The first paragraph can be shocking, dry, humorous…whatever, there just needs to be a point to it. After reading it, some ideas about the story should be evident, perhaps not the conflict, but at least a sense of who the mc is or what the tone is or even the setting. If it’s lovely writing, yet, nothing can be gleaned from it other than a group of words put together nicely or creatively, what’s the point?
Of course, I’ve written some pointless, pretty ones myself:)
The author's voice has to be there and compel me to listen, even if the opening paragraph is not much besides a grocery shopping list. A great author will make me want to read it all the way to the bottom.
First off, I can't get over how many entries there were! Including myself 🙂
Anyway, first paragraphs are tricky and I'm not sure what makes me find some interesting and some not, beside the voice factor. So, i'll just offer up WHY i liked a few other entries . . .
I love strange/humorous novels. I read most of the entries so far and have to say two caught my eye. There was one in the first five hundred or so that had a last sentence about bat-like wings which had me be like WHAT? I also find the voice to be intriguing. . The first paragraph set a nice scene for me, without any description. It told me the mother was a bore probably and the daughter had a sense of humor and that her mother's job was obviously a major issue between them. Another involved a taco truck and hinted at being supernatural. (someone already discussed this entry here so I wont go into detail about that one) Both of which left me wanting to read more.
Oh, and there was one about Black City??? Can't remember much, but I just like the way the author wrote it. Something about stuff not growing. I could already tell the MC had a hard life.
That's it for me. Hope my babbling helped.
I think I'm going to withhold my comments as well lest I make my own look bad 😉
Lynne, I doubt he's even reading these anymore. . .I'm sure he's too busy on the contest paragraphs!
Lynne-
Still have 20/20!
I'm just miffed that there's so many interesting-sounding paragraphs here that don't have links to a blog, or a website where I can read more.
I've been sitting at my computer like Oliver Twist. 'Please, internet. . . I want some more. . . '
I want a question to be raised that draws me in further, and perhaps a hint of the setting. I don't want action in the first paragraph. I like to have some orientation before the action starts, but I think it should start on the first page.
Ellen B. I totally agree with you! I'm still reading the entries and peoples opinions here (ahhh, the benefits of having multiple internet windows open)! Nathan, I admire you for reading all of the entries! I bet you're all caught up on them for the next. . .Oh, two minutes until another pops up.
For a book to really grip me, I need a solid opening line that almost makes me hesitate. It should provoke a thousand questions, yet answer a thousand more.
Whatever follows, I'm usually up for anything if that first sentence has me, but in my opinion, an author should really set the scene or else it's just words on a page. Is not visualizing what is read half of the appeal to reading a novel?
To Rhonda- There are so many wonderful books. I have a similar issue with my son. He loves the Star Wars apprentice books, but we don't have many of those in our library, and I can't afford to buy him ten books a week. He wishes I would let him read starwars episodes 1-6. But I don't think he's ready.
So, I've started him on Roald Dahl. Fortunately, I read a lot of YA, so I know some series that he'll do well with.
And if the issue is adult content, try great books from thirty+ years ago.
And, to some extent, what he doesn't understand won't hurt him. I read "To kill a mocking bird" when I was 9 or 10, and there's some pretty heavy stuff in it.
Nothing textbook. There are rules for everything and those rules, when it comes to art, can some times become boring generalizations. I would rather that the author focus on story telling and recreating a world the way he/she sees it. The first paragraph should be a reflection of this.
I'll repeat what many others have said: voice. I don't necessarily want setting, or even a character name, crammed into the first paragraph.
Some of the entries are truly great and I'm with the previous poster that mentioned this is like taking a writing class.
Great contest 😀
"J. Nelson Leith said…
I think a lot of readers need to distinguish between good writing and "writing that I like to read." "
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Many people are commenting that they do not like the paragraphs with violence or vampires, etc., which has nothing to do with the quality of those paragraphs in any way.
Someone mentioned the first sentence asking questions. And, I agree with that too. A great opener I've read is:
"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested."–translation of Franz Kafka
and another is. . .
"It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not."–Paul Auster
Figured I'd add some of my favorite openers to the discussion.
Not sure how to explain what draws me in. I'll add a favorite opening like Ash. Elizabeth did.
This is from 1992, and for some reason, this opener always stuck with me. I found it very funny and drew me right in.
"It was the day my grandmother exploded."–The Crow Road (can't remember author's name)
Since I received a few responses to my question, "Who will write for my son?" here and in email, I decided to ask it in my own blog to see if we can come up with a good reading list for kids who read above their grade level. Feel free to click on my name to get to my meager blog and add your ideas, and thanks for your responses!
An initial hook. It doesn't have to be the hook for the story as a whole, but something unique that begins to set the particular work apart from others.
Whether it's with dialogue, the specifics of the setting, starting mid-scene, etc., something that engages a reader's emotion or piques their curiosity is the way to go. Some tension isn't too bad either 🙂
Recently, I think Robert Olen Butler's Hell has a great opening paragraph.
I want immediate action, a compelling character, and unique voice.
Brian Crawford nailed this one. A great first paragraph is even better after you've finished the book.
A voice I can "feel." And subtle intrigue … something that leaves me with questions.
So far in the contest I've noticed lots of death, blood, or dead bodies for openings. Which in isolation work, but after hundreds of similar openings, it starts to wear thin.
I also find it curious when there are patterns like this, because it makes me wonder what inspires it. Some writerly advice by a well known? A popular book? What?
I think what opening works best are the ones that 1) hint at what is to come in terms of style/voice, character, and story, 2) have a hook, and 3) are not the current trend or popular opening.
Overall though, almost every one I read comes across as strong and far from overly wordy, confusing, or mundane.
Jodi
Length: short and snappy.
Content: Not explosive nor murky, but a wafting allure.
This contest and comments are so timely. I have been tearing my hair out over a first chapter/paragraph.
After judging three recent contests, I honestly realize the importance of the first paragraph. It's a great predictor for what's to come in most cases. If something doesn't immediately reach out, shake your interest and make you want to keep turning pages, the author has been remiss in reeling in the reader.
Oh…and most annoying is a raised question that causes you to search ahead for the answer…and never find it. *lol*
We are all so different! I want to be taken to a place I like or find interesting and meet the fascinating character I myself will become as I read on.
If the character and location are too ordinary, ie: suburban housewife shopping for husband's dinner, I will put that book down no matter how many villains stalk the supermarket aisles. Too much action bores me. I like internal conflict and beautiful writing. I want to learn how other people think and why. If the first paragraph shows me that is to come, I am hooked.
I need a hook. Whether it be action, character, humour, something must reel me in.
After reading the comments on this thread, it's a real wake up call. It's all about connection between a writer and agent.
And I want your job! I would love trawling through all the entries (or queries) looking for a story that excited me. It's like a delicious treasure hunt. Love it!
Interesting thoughts.
I think it depends a lot on what type of book the person is writing- I'd expect/want a different type of first paragraph from a political thriller than a paranormal romance.
I find it a helpful to treat first paragraphs like movie trailers: Sometimes I'm pretty sure that there is no movie in the offing for I have I have just seen it. Lots of first paragraphs leave me feeling that may be all there is to that! First paragraph for the sake of first paragraphs. (sigh)
Something that doesn't make my eyes blur with boredom. It can happen in the very first paragraph, and it's never something that motivates me to read bravely onward.
I haven't been around here lately – I was in the midst of a book proposal, so I unfortunately had no time for my beloved blogosphere, but I just have to echo others' sentiments here…
I do not envy you, Nathan. Your job seems insurmountable to me. I haven't even made it through these paragraphs yet – and that's just a taste of all you have to read. No wonder snagging a good agent is so difficult. I have such respect for those who have risen to the top.
As for a good first paragraph, it really depends. Sometimes, dialogue works – being thrown into the middle of a scene. Sometimes, action grabs me. And sometimes, it's something quieter.
All I know for sure is that my first paragraph was not ready for this contest. Here's hoping that one day it will be!
First, I wouldn't take on your job for a single minute. I don't know how you do it.
Second, what I want in a first paragraph or page, is being dropped into the middle of the story, not necessarily with violence or hard core action, but SOMETHING must going on, to someone who I'm going to care about for the long run.
I am going to be fascinated to see which ones you pick and why they stood out above the rest.
Could be killer dialogue, could be a place, could be a character — I'm not picky in this regard.
What I do like is a -ness — some hint of a potentially transformative thing (proffered, as so many have said, in a voice that leads me to beleive I can trust its hollers and whispers) whose unfolding might flit (leaves turned, e- or otherwise) between the mortal mundanity of my days/hours (depending on how I'm grabbed) in a manner most pleasing.
Lewd jokes are a bonus.
Historical costumes are a no-no.
A good first chapter sets up a promise to the reader. It tells them what kind of story they can expect and creates anticipation without giving everything away.
One pet peeve I have with opening paragraphs comes from a promise I made to a writing instructor once. The promise was to never ever start a story with the main character's first and last name. Now I flinch whenever I see something that starts out "John Doe did _______". 99.9% of the time it's unnecessary to use a character's full name (no matter how clever it may be) but that's just me.
I don't necessarily need the bells and whistles, but I do need something to hook me. Nothing has to grab me by the throat, blow up, die or throw flames. I Just need to get that niggling feeling…the feeling that I MUST read on.
A question with punch…(And the questions can be many things – a dilema, a scare, a body) You know what I mean.
A great paragraph is one that finds the right reader. When it does, the reader forgets they're reading, and all they want to know is where the journey is going.
A good paragraph completely accomplishes what it's trying to do, evident to everyone.
Nathan, you are amazing.
Personally, there are two things that I've noticed reading these that two things stand out to me. One is that they give me an immediate sense of the character. Character is what draws me more than anything into a story, and if you really give me either a sense for the character or what the character is feeling so I can get in his/her head, then I'm happy.
Second is curiosity factor. Some have an interesting conflict or something unexpected that just makes me think, "Whoa…wonder where that's going."
I think of an opening paragraph to a book as its foundation. Either with a slam into the plot, or an introduction to the character, as long as the writer can lead.
If an opening paragraph has too much action, it may be difficult to build to highter ground while maintaining integrity and credibility.
by the way, Nathan…
101 Reasons to stop writing has moved: https://101reasonstostopwriting.com/ <–new link
tnx for a great learning experience in everything you do here.
word ver: arans (almost an Island in Scotland, Arrans)
I don't place a lot of stock in first paragraphs, when it comes to reading anyway. I lot of my favorite stories open on a rather dull note. A Study in Scarlet, one of my favorite Sherlock Holmes stories, opens with this paragraph:
"In the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the Army. Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers as assistant surgeon. The regiment was stationed in India at the time, and before I could join it, the second Afghan war had broken out. On landing at Bombay, I learned that my corps had advanced through the passes, and was already deep in the enemy's country. I followed, however, with many other officers who were in the same situation as myself, and succeeded in reaching Candahar in safety, where I found my regiment, and at once entered upon my new duties."
And my favorite of Ian Fleming's books, Live and Let Die, opens as follows:
"There are moments of great luxury in the life of a secret agent. These are assignments on which he is required to act the part of a very rich man; occasions when he takes refuge in good living to efface the memory of the danger and the shadow of death; and times when, as was now the case, he is a guest in the territory of an allied Secret Service."
Both are very good, to be sure, but they're not really very gripping, are they? Live and Let Die pulls you on more than A Study in Scarlet, I think, but both aren't exactly shouting OOH! OOH! READ ME! But then both stories are quite old (ASIS 1887, LALD 194). Different times. I think when writing, however, one should be mindful to craft some degree of a hook. Not necessarily some great shock or surprise that demands the reader keep going, but something to keep the reader interested. And I think a part of this stems from the fact that our attention spans are getting shorter. Studies have shown those who spend exorbitant amounts of time on the computer tend to develop attention spans of only two or three seconds. Thus, it becomes especially important to hook a reader in this day and age, as opposed to, say, 1916, when Agatha Christie first wrote The Mysterious Affair at Styles.
And now that I've rambled all that, I do believe I'm going to expand upon it in my own blog. Probably get started on it later tonight, after I eat a somewhat belated dinner.
A good first paragraph MUST
1. Engage a reader
2. Make a reader (intensely) curious about the rest of the book.
3. Set the tone for the book
And a really great first paragraph will go even further than just setting the tone. After reading a book, examination of the first paragraph or first few lines, should reveal the book's direction, the mentality of the book's narrator/protagonist, goals/problems of the narrator or protagonist, philosophy of the book.
examples: Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, etc.
Nathan, I really have to thank you for this contest. I don't hink I really understood the importance of a first paragraph until now.
The only thing that first paragraph needs to do is make me want to read the second. Period.
There are so many ways to begin a book, I don't think there a right way or a wrong way. It all depends on the book. Action-oriented material likely needs the grabber ("Bang bang bang! Three shots ripped into my groin and I was off on the adventure of my life!"). But I know there are exceptions.
Still others may need a slow quiet approach, say establishing the setting, or the characters within the setting. Readers must have thought "Call me Ishmael" pretty much a non-grabber when "Moby Dick" came out, considering how poorly it apparently sold then, but now . . . .
Even now, I'm still wrestling with the opening of my first novel "Dragon's Ark" the prologue to which I've posted at https://www.redroom.com/articlestory/dragons-ark-prologue-a-novel-recommended-mature-audiences
with an intro at: https://www.redroom.com/blog/thomas-burchfield/dragons-ark-introduction-a-prologue
Thanks for stopping by!
A great first paragraph makes you want to read the second paragraph.
I look for:
– voice
– a signpost to a social context
– a signpost to a belief system, something about the world the character inhabits and its values.
– something about the character's belief system.
– construction of a beautiful sentence.
Sounds like a big ask, but Jane Austen got it in one sentence in the opening of Pride and Prejudice: 'It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in
possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife'. I love that for what it tells me. I'm not a romance writer or reader, but I've never seen a better opening. I instantly feel like I've been placed in an armchair and transported out of my own reality and into someone else's.
The story should begin with something ABOUT to happen. JUST ABOUT to happen. So that first p. is setting that up. By the end of CH 1, that special something (which will launch the story in motion) has happenned.
~Anonypus