Now that we have a…. healthy sample size of first paragraphs (1,758 at the moment), it’s possible to get a good glimpse inside an agent’s inbox and to simulate the experience of reading lots and lots of different story ideas in one sitting.
So. What do you think makes for a good first paragraph? What types of openings draw you in and which kinds leave you cold? Have you spotted any favorites? What was it about them that piqued your interest?
I shall be withholding my thoughts as the contest is still ongoing, but I’d be curious to know what you think.
I (respectfully) disagree with the anonymous comment that said the quality of the first paragraph is irrelevant. Yes, a novel can have a weak first paragraph and go on to be a great novel throughout, but a first paragraph can have a big (and positive) impact on how invested the reader becomes in the story.
I'm a stay at home mom, and my spare (alone) time is super precious, and I despise wasting it on anything that isn't worth it.
I've often found that if the first paragraph (and even the first page) don't draw me in, I usually just find more of the same in the pages to come and quit before the first 10 pages are up.
It's a pretty decent indicator. True, it doesn't have to be flashy/violent/crazy/intense/what have you, to be good, but it has to have a little somethin' somethin' to peak my interest.
I also agree with the needless profanity comment. So true! It's fine if it's well done and speaks to the character's personality, but it's so obvious when it's just for shock value.
I like to get a general feel for the language of the story. But then, I'm also a bit of a prosist. Of course the story is important, but so is the style.
-Mercedes
I think what makes a good first paragraph is what pulls you in to read more. A little glimpse of what is to come. But now I am going back to previous contests to see what Nathan had to say then. I wish I had done that before I posted my entry.
Verification Word: exaggri
Definition: Secret society of exaggerators.
I think first and foremost, I look for voice. If the voice is flat, then I'm not going to be drawn into the first paragraph, much less the rest of the book.
Everything else can differ. I do like to at least start with something intriguing, but it doesn't have to be action-packed. Intrigue can be quiet, too.
I don't seem to expect as much from a first paragraph as many of you. Maybe that means I need to learn from you. I haven't decided yet. Some of you seem to want everything in the first paragraph, including setting, character development, plot points. I don't think I can get all that into one paragraph. Who knows, maybe I just can't get it into one paragraph YET.
I like a first paragraph to give me a sense of the tone of the book, to raise one or more questions that interest me and to have lyricism.
I don't envy Nathan, either, and I very much appreciate your willingness to do this.
I like a first paragraph that grabs me by the throat, rams my head into the pages, draws blood with a sharp voice, and then feeds me a chocolate cupcake.
I don't like my reading rough, but I'll put up with a lot to be fed a chocolate cupcake.
Um…
I'd say, "I know it when I read it," but I think that's a great way to avoid answering the question. So here's what I like: I like having time and place set right away. I like to see a character doing something interesting.
My favorite first paragraph is from "Three Cheers for Me" by Donald Jack. I read the book decades ago, but the one-sentence opening remains with me: "On my way to the front, I ran over a general." It's matter-of-fact absurdity carries through the whole book, while it provides sufficient information about time (WWI), place (near the front), character (I) and action (a career-limiting move… but not in this case).
If someone asks you whether you want red or white wine with dinner, wouldn't your reply be: "What are we having?
So too, an opening paragraph is likely to match the genre. If I select a literary fiction title to read, I'd expect the opening to ease out of the gate with scene setting and narration, although it could grab and shock me. If it's a thriller, I expect to be shocked very early.
The days of Lonesome Dove type writing, where you get to take you time setting things up, are over.
When it comes to effective beginnings, I always think of the first Terminator movie. I was working with a director in NY on a new script and he rented the movie so I could see how a story can just start w/o a lot of set up or back story. I remember being totally confused, yet so interested in this character. The ability to create that audience/reader interest is vital for whatever kind of writing one is doing.
When the comments are deleted by the admin is makes me want to read them so much!
Maybe start a Deleted Comments from Literary Blogs blog, where all agents an anonymously submit their deleted comments? YEah that would make for some serious entertainment!
~Anonypus
"If it's a thriller, I expect to be shocked very early."
Most thrillers deliver the "shock at the end of chapter 1 but not in the first para. Too soon. First para. should be establishing a situation, getting the read to ask quesitons.
The ones that start off with stuff like, "I knew it was going to be a long night as I wiped the blood from my eyes," kinda thing are amateur starts.
Eeek…
It has to paint a picture for me in some way. Many I found boring or I lost interest completely because they didn't do that for me. A few were cheesey… and I instantly stopped reading. I got to one I liked and by the end of the paragraph I wanted more…until I saw a word that was out of place and I was disappointed.
Blank@11:25 AM
Thanks for your comment about the paragraph with Zooey. That really made my day. If you ever want to read further, I can send some links your way.
I am garnering a better understanding of, and a new respect for the well known comment, 'it's all subjective'. And it REALLY is!
None of these comments are right or wrong, and all of them are right and wrong. It's all opinion based on preferences. It's fascinating to see how differently we all judge what is good and what isn't. Truly fascinating. I love it!
I just love reading review blogs like dear author. They know so much. Many of their reviews focus on first paragraphs, and I always learn so much about good writing there.
Without knowing the genre of the book, the opening paragraphs are difficult to assess. Some of the entrants indicated their genre outright, which I think is smart, while others you can tell the genre because of their blogger icon pic, which shows another book or whatever, but just to have an opening 'graph without any other identifying info is unrealistic. Even bookstore browsers have the benefit of seeing the title, cover, what seciton of the store it's in…all that is framing the 1st paragraph.
Anonysaurus
First off, thank you for this contest Nathan, it’s opened my eyes to what agents go through on a daily basis. I’ve read several of the postings, and I have one of my own, and I think for me, as a person that loves to read, I want to hear the story, and like so many have said, it really is voice. But what is voice exactly? When I’m writing, I have to really listen to that character in my head, and what they sound like, see their world through their eyes, not my own. Which is extremely hard to do. One thing I learned from reading so many entries, that I never understood before, is why agents often complain about names in query letters. I noticed how using names in the first paragraph seemed to weight down the writing, instead of moving it forward. I also noticed how grocery listening—too many details about an object can also weight down the writing. Thanks again Nathan, and good luck everyone.
Samir –
You are welcome! I'm glad I made your day! I know I get so excited if anyone says anything nice about my writing, it just magically washes away the stench of rejection, at least for a minute or two.
I wished more people would give specifics on what their favs were, but I understand that not everyone is going to read them. I didn't read all, so I'm sure I missed some good ones. I wonder if any I liked will be Nathan's picks! That would make my day, isn't that sad?
I'd be happy to read more. Is it a middle-grade book?
Voice, and something that intrigues me. It can be simple but it makes me want to find out what's going to happen.
There are so many good entries and I haven't read them all. Besides, I'd rather not say which ones are favs so far. I'll leave that to the expert – you.
It's hard to read a first paragraph cold, especially since they could be coming from so many different genres and age groups. I know which ones I liked, but I don't know if there was any good method behind it. So much of it was more taste than style which wouldn't be really constructive to share….
However, after reading the paragraphs and comments, it's made me rethink a few things in my own paragraph and have been helpful in that way. 🙂
"I noticed how using names in the first paragraph seemed to weight down the writing…"
Opening line from The Da Vinci Code:
"Robert Langdon awoke slowly."
So much for that!
~Anonypus
I'll be the 100th one to say it: voice. A strong voice and clear writing is all the hook some of these paragraphs need.
I can't wait to see if some of my favorites make it to the top! There are quite a few that stand out already and entries will no doubt skyrocket more before tomorrow.
I'm going with "skill of the author" and "voice." Everything else is negotiable.
What Lydia Sharp said. Deniselle too.
Books I love all have opening paragraphs that intrigue me, that promise me a story.
Well, I read lots of YA because that's what I write, but I like first paragraphs where the voice is strong and there's no purple prose. I don't like novels that start with sunsets and things like that. I've seen sunsets and snow and stuff I don't need a paragraph to explain to me what it looks like. I want conflict in the first page of a novel, or at least a humorous MC.
That's just me though.
Its interesting to read these w/out any hint of what's to come- no title, cover, or even the section of the bookstore/library there in.
I never realized how much all that helped me prepare for the voice.
voice. Brevity. A puzzle/foreshadowing (that often breaks the PoV rules), AND proof that the author KNOWS WHERE TO START THE STORY without being cliche or boring.
Voice. Story.
I have never focused much on first paragraphs (or even first pages) when I read.
There is only one book I can recall that ever turned me off that quickly, and that was because of repeated use of double adjcetives (ie, the tall muscular man stepped out of the sleek cherry-colored car, his long khaki-clad legs carrying him to the rotten mahogany steps)
On a side note —
After reading all these opinions, is anyone else resisting the urge to race back back and delete their entry? I feel protective of my little paragraph.
No? That's just me?
MeganRebekah, I feel the same. But I didn't enter to win and my work is VERY IP, so I'm just trying to learn as much as I can. Most people will probably skip it because it's long, and I spotted a typo, but I'm keeping it there.
Megan –
YES! But I know the odds are stacked against me anyhow to be chosen from this stack. I'm just gonna leave it. I'm curious to see the ones he picks though. All a learning experience.
For me it's the voice. The words the author chooses to use, as well as the tone. I also like humor. 🙂
I don't expect too much from first paragraph. I'll usually read further to see if I like the book. The first few pages are a better indicator of the book.
I'm not much for the en medias res approach, though. Too much action at the start jars me. I like good character development first, but I do have a long attention span–not everybody does.
I admit, my eyes glazed over, and I haven't read all of them… not even a good sample. I sit there thinking, "I don't care about this character's emotional angst. Its just the same as the last one…"
One that did stand out was somewhere around #1600 (I think, like I said… all a blur. My eyes hurt…) About her teaching being killed by a taco truck. That voice (colleges like if you can create a clay bowl, right?), and the unexpected nature of the event (I think she somehow willed it to happen… I am thinking speculative fiction and she has supernatural powers…) made this actually entertaining to read. In other words, I want to see what is next!
i LOVE first paragraphs where I read along and think it's interesting/ funny and then the last sentence is BAM! I love a good BAM at the end of a first paragraph.
I can say what I don't like and that will leave what I like.
I don't like the first sentence to be narrative summary, internal monologue, or dialogue.
I prefer for the first sentence to be the main character physically doing something in a dangerous situation.
Okay, wearing my consumer hat and being a bottom line kinda gal.
At the book shelf in the store, I look first for favorite authors. That aside, next the cover pulls me over to actually pick the book up.
The cover interest is a combination of font, color, graphics/photo the whole balance of the presentation. Not that a bad cover turns me off. Yet, a good cover does contain some pick-the-book-up factor in the equation.
Then the back jacket gets a 30 second speed read scan. If the book gets my interest with the back cover, I open the front page and read. By the first couple of paragraphs, the story either has me putting it into the basket or back on the shelf.
What it takes to get me doesn't have to be a pow sensational opening. Though that kind of opening doesn't bother me if it is in tone with the author's voice and subgenre' i.e. action, suspense, thriller. Power openings are becoming the iconic standard in some genre's.
In those first precious paragraphs, I need to see the beginning of a journey unfolding that I desire to make with the author. One that I am willing to invest my measly but hard earned $$ on.
The story has to touch some resonance in me, emotion, interest, curiosity. A character, a setting, a line, a problem to solve, a question my easily fatigued mind pauses to consider.
Dare I say a hook designed to snare me in the guise of an attractive lure? I may not want it to scream HOOK HOOK, look a HOOK! It must be invisible and seamless within the context of a well crafted story.
Deniselle and Blank, glad to know I'm not the only one!
I wouldn't actually delete my entry (I'm quite proud of it), but it would be so nice to shield it from the critical eyes that are scoping it out and finding flaws in it.
I guess this is a tiny glimpse into what published authors experience by sending their work out into the world.
Of course I want to be drawn in and engaged by the author's voice, but I can really tell a good opening after I've finished reading a story. I like looking back to the start and realizing the story began exactly where it should have. Like the opening of Memento (the movie) even though the story is told backwards.
I agree with The Screaming Guppy's comment–I don't have a set of specific criteria (other than don't bore me and don't tick me off ;)) for openings, as a reader.
A variety of things can grab my attention. Anything from action to dialogue to a bit of backstory, etc. Voice and style and content are definitely factors, but there's no "formula" about this. I'll know what I like and what draws me in when I read it–but also, if a book's premise or something else intrigues me, I may read on past the first paragraph even if it doesn't hook me.
~Merc
I read through about the first 400 and that alone made my head spin. I did realize one thing about me as a reader that I hadn't paid attention to before – I like a first paragraph, especially in this context, that tells a good story. Many of the paragraphs focused in on descriptions of things, which is fine, but I noticed myself glossing over those after awhile. The ones that really piqued my interest were those that hinted at a full, rich story. The only one I can truly remember out of all of those was the one about leaving a home town as a black boy and returning as a black man. My head is still trying to wrap around that one, and I'd love to know what happens in that story.
A good complment to this exercise would be to take 10 current NYT bestsellers (say 2 from YA, 2 from thriller/suspense, 2 from sci-fi, 2from romance, 2 from and literary)and post the opening paragraphs.
Then compare those to the winners nathan picked, and to the non-picked entries.
I like openings that make me think and/or make me laugh. I like to be put in the shoes of the character and then let it grow from there.
I agree with anon that for writers really hoping to get something out of evaluating your 1st para.–compare it to the NYT bestsellers in your genre. That's the only way to do it. Even an agent is just 1 person's opinion, while the NYT listers have already been evaluated by tens of thousands of readers (sometimes more) and dozens of professionals (agent, editors, publishers, bookstore buyers, etc.).
So for all these genre wannabes seeking advice, the answer is on the bestseller lists every week! That is pure, filtered, distilled info, baby! This, while fun, is only a frail filter.
Opening line from The Da Vinci Code:
"Robert Langdon awoke slowly."
So much for that!
~Anonypus
October 14, 2009 12:50 PM
Well, okay he's one of my favorite writers but I still stand by what I said. As I read many of the entries I did notice that it seemed to weight down the writing and not move it forward.
I think a lot of readers need to distinguish between good writing and "writing that I like to read."
I would never read a romance, but I certainly could appreciate a well-written romantic opener even if I had no interest whatsoever in finishing the book.
A concrete example: I still remember the opening spray-paint scene from Palahniuk's "Choke" (which I tried to read at a friend's insistence) even though I passed on the rest of the book because transgressive fiction is just not my thing. The writing, however, was fantastic.
I like a first paragraph that tells me who the MC is, gives me a bit of his/her personality, and a reason I should care about him/her.
Good point anon 1:45. this is made even easier to do by the fact that most publishers/authors have free chapter 1's online.
What I question, though, is the educational value of placing such importance on a first paragraph alone. Take on the whole chapter 1.
Another note: I found all the extremely unusual names very distracting. I realize many of the entries were sci fi/fantasy but if I'm tongue-tripping with a first line, I'm not going to read the rest. Also, even grafs that read like they were for mainstream novels – many had very strange names for characters.
I'm with a lot of posters here–voice. If I like the way the author writes, it's probable that I'll enjoy the story.
Also, I find beginning with dialogue to be not intriguing but disorienting.
Finally, I do not, as a matter of personal taste, wish to begin reading any book which opens with violence or a graphic description of wounds/corpses/massacres.