Reader Neil Vogler passed along a recent Guardian post about the number of authors who are auctioning off the chance to name a character in one of their novels.
This sparked Neil’s idea for today’s You Tell Me: if you could inhabit any book, which would you choose?
I’d go with THE GREAT GATSBY. No! THE SUN ALSO RISES. No! HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.
What about you?
I did a story like this once. My publisher ran a contest, and the prize was to be turned into a character and a story written about you. I was one of the authors. My winner sent me a number of details about herself and I turned her into an interdimensional fantasy heroine. She got shanghaied onto the set of Interdimensional Survivor, where she took the side of the monsters. Coming up with that story was an awful lot of fun.
this is a tough one because I tend to like books I would never want to be in, like "On the Road". Although the chance to be in Great Expectations would thrill me through.
Any of the PERN novels would be great as long as I got to be a dragon rider … or her Rowan series, as long as I was one of the high level talents.
That's hard! I guess the Percy Jackson series…or Little Women or any Jane Austen novel!
Duh. Under a Tuscan Sun. Not such a great book, but who cares? Tuscany!!
The Curse of Lono might be fun.
Steph: As soon as I go home, I'm gonna watch HP again in Imax.
Being in HP was a knee-jerk reaction, and if I couldn't be in it, I'd want to be in Percy Jackson's world, and maybe also "Gregor the Overlander" but I'd want to come back to the Overland and help Gregor and his family.
Regan: I'm sad your parents told you the real inspiration for your name. How scary! I'd lie too if I were you.
Harry Potter or Percy Jackson
Laura – in terms of not bidding for my post because why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? First, can I say how much I love that saying?
Second, you're absolutely right. Which is why I've decided to charge retroactively.
You owe me a bunch of monopoly money.
Also, I've decided to write a novel and name the heroine Laura. I'll send you the bill.
Okay, Mira. I'm happy to pay up. Will you take an I.O.U.? I don't have any Monopoly money at the moment, as I recently tossed out all mean-spirited boardgames. 🙂
After all, my novel is about a socialist utopia… where money means nothing.
And besides, don't we have a policy against monopolies in this country? Oh, wait a minute…
'Brave new world'. Because, even if it's evil, it's a world where everyone is happier than the average here.
I have to go with Margaret Yang's comment and be wary of mixing the worlds… but, if I could choose my role (and could get away with being dressed as a boy) then TREASURE ISLAND would have been a real adventure, or for a place in which I'd have to get involved, then Atwood's A HANDMAID'S TALE – but I'd find it really difficult to passively follow the storyline, I'd have to be an underground saboteur so there's a risk I'd upset the plot somehow. For a peaceful retreat I'd go for WINNIE THE POOH any day, even on the blustery day.
Why are you so many people flinching from the idea of their character being killed? If I managed to get myself into a book I would do my best to ensure that I did – I think it's much more interesting to say 'yeah that character who was impaled upon their own sword/eaten by wolves/exploded by a pipe bomb/died painfully in childbirth was named for me' instead of 'that character who stood around and didn't do much'.
As for which book I'd like to be in…well Les Miserables would be amazing but to be honest I wouldn't mind as long as it was well-known so people would know which book I was in and find it cool as well.
I'm not sure I'd want to be in any of the stuff I read. Too scary!
I'll take Tropic of Cancer, 'cause life's too short not to be scandalous.
I'd have to say the Harry Potter books. As witch, of course!
Michael Chabon's Wonder Boys. Definitely. I would want to be Hannah Green.
Definitely Harry Potter series – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – The Velvet Room – there's a collection of Santa stories I wouldn't mind passing from one story to the next – take me away from this world!
I'd be in Jane Austen's PERSUASION. I'd try and convince Anne to ignore her ridiculous family and the advice of Lady Russell and marry Wentworth. Of course, if it happened early on, there'd be no story 😛
Or I'd like to be in JANE EYRE as another friend from Jane's boarding school, especially after Helen dies. The poor girl was entirely too lonely for most of the book. She should have a confidante outside of the brooding Rochester. 🙂
How about Artemis Fowl? I'd love to be Holly and watch Artemis transform into a normal human teenager while also kicking goblin a**.
Philip Pullman's THE AMBER SPYGLASS. Hands down. The world of the mulefa, especially, but I could live in Lyra's Oxford happily. It's one of the most peaceful and beautiful worlds I've seen written, and I say that after 7 years of English degree work.
My other choice was Butler's sister Juliet – not bright true but genuine, loved and capable of dishing out her own brand of retribution!
Oh, Belinda, I would LOVE to be in "Wonder Boys" with you – only I think I'd like to be Crabtree. He's a riot.
Rufo in Heinlein's Glory Road. Just want a really capacious fold box full of anything a guy needs for a long quest.
The Hotel New Hampshire. I really like bears.
I'd love to be a character in Gaiman's Stardust. How cool would it be to be Yvaine, a beautiful star?
I have imagined myself in many books, but in "The Three Musketeers" more than others.
I'd love to be in Haroun and the Sea of Stories. It's clever, ironic, and gut-bustingly funny.
I'd have to say Replay. Get to live my life over and over while retaining all the knowledge from the previous life, that'd be pretty incredible.
WV: Hanagger. I will stab you with my pointy hand.
I would love to be Kirra Danalustrous in the series, The Twelve Houses by Sharon Shinn. She's a shape shifter and a healer. Kirra is an amazing character in an amazing series of books!
I'd want to be in anything written by John McPhee. As long as it was McPhee himself — I so would love to be that guy.
Anything by Georgette Heyer. Probably An Infamous Army as my top choice.
Aha! I'm changing my mind. I want to be in 'Lost in A Good Book' by Jasper Fforde. That way I could become a BookRunner and check out life in any book I wanted. 😉
The Harry Potter series (maybe one of the faculty) or Shogun by James Clavell
I'm not in a hurry to inhabit any book set in a reality that doesn't include indoor plumbing and air conditioning.
Oh bummer. I was hoping to be different than everyone else. Oh well. Here are my top choices.
1. Narnia
2. LOTR
3. Harry Potter
4. Wuthering Heights (I know. Kind of creepy)
5. Herman Melville's The Scrivener
6. C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy
Corwin of Zelazny's Amber cycle.
I'd definitely go to a fantasy world, Middle Earth, Narnia, Alagaesia… as so many have said–but really, during peace? Where's the fun? I want to go there so I can use the sword, not stare at it.
Either Gatsby – I know I could help him get over Daisy!
or The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe – I've always wanted to visit Narnia. 😉
Harry Potter, but as a teacher.
Peter Pan – If Hook looks anything like Jason Issacs, sign me up.
LOL
G.
Let's see…does Martha Stewart Cupcakes count? 🙂 Honestly, I'd probably pick the first Harry Potter…all the newness of magic! How FUN!!!
Anything illustrated by Eloise Wilkin. How's that for sophistication.
Lonesome Dove, Neverwhere, and Northanger Abbey.
Why, because, Gus and cowboys, fantastic worlds that exist alongside ours without our knowledge, and, well, rooomance.
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter!! I would love to look at McCuller's world through Mick Kelly's eyes!
Hands down…The Bridges of Madison County. Give me a cigarette, an apron, and a hot man any day…
Such a difficult ask, either:
A: An officer of the Ankh Morpork City Watch.
or
B: The rider of a Regal Copper.
(For the record that's either the works of Terry Pratchet or Naomi Novik.)
Almost everyone wants to be in a Harry Potter book, and I'm no different.
But having my name in The Phantom of the Opera, or Romeo & Juliet (any classic romance, basically) would be amazing, too.
Jim Morrison's Adventures In The Afterlife. Heaven as a DIY project. Doc Holiday having gunfights with Moses. Need I say more?
The Outsiders—so I can smell Ponyboy’s hair.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, of course. All those drugs and never have to deal with the come-down. Come on!
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