One of the more unique aspects of writing is the way people associate themselves and their identities with their words on the page. People don’t just spend time in the evening reflecting on the capricious vicissitudes of life and/or zombie killers from another planet. It somehow becomes more than that.
You can see this in the way people talk about writing: some people compare it to oxygen, i.e. something that they can’t live without. They don’t say, “I like to write, it’s fun, I enjoy it.” They say, unequivocally, “I am a writer. It’s who I am.”
I’m going to be honest here and say that while I don’t judge people when they define themselves as writer, whatever their publication status, I find it a little unsettling when they make it an overly intrinsic part of their identity.
First of all, people just don’t tend to define themselves by what they do in their spare time. You don’t hear anyone shout to the rafters, “I AM STAMP COLLECTOR!” or “I AM A CONNOISSEUR OF REALITY TELEVISION!”
To be sure, there’s something about writing that’s a little different (to say the least) from stamp collecting. It’s more personal, even when it’s not a memoir or something that relates directly to someone’s real life. Putting thoughts on the page, any thoughts, means taking one’s inner life and putting it all out there for the world to see. Normally we’re at great pains to keep our emotions hidden, whether that’s concealing anger or love or nervousness. Writers do the opposite: they take their innermost thoughts and show them to the world. And there’s something scary/thrilling about externalizing what is normally kept hidden.
But an identity?
Here’s where that becomes problematic. Once someone makes the leap from writing as a fun, intense pursuit to something wrapped up in identity, it’s a dangerous road to be walking on. As we all know, the path to material success in the writing world is ridden with obstacles and rejections. And when people begin to wrap up their identity with the publication process, the rejections become personal, and a judgment on a book becomes intertwined, in the writer’s eye, with a judgment of self.
Sure, there’s something unique and personal about writing, which is what so many people love about it. But I don’t think the ideal is pursuing it in an all-consuming Randy “The Ram” fashion. The moment the writing or the publishing process becomes the defining part of someone’s identity, when it becomes oxygen, that’s a time when the writer is risking having that oxygen choked off by forces completely outside of their control.
I hear from these people all the time. They’re the ones who start spamming agents, who write me angry e-mails, and who go on tirades about the publishing process. They’ve stopped enjoying the writing process, and because writing is so wrapped up in their self-conception, they can’t bear the pain of rejection and instead look outward for blame.
What do you think? Is it realistic to think that something so time-intensive and personal can be placed in a more hermetically sealed mental box? Is there even an ideal approach?
UPDATE: I scrubbed this post of the word “hobby” because I think it was distracting from the intent of the post. For the record: I don’t think a creative pursuit is the same thing as a hobby, I don’t prejudge people who call themselves writers, and as I hope is already abundantly apparent, I admire anyone and everyone who takes the time to put word to page. I only meant “hobby” as in something that one does that is not one’s career, not as something trivial.
As I mentioned in the comments section, this post could have been summed up: “Don’t let the publishing process define you.” But I didn’t have time today for such a short post.
Having given this more thought, I still believe the problem that leads to bad behavior is less identification as a writer (even if it’s all you identify with) as much as it is identification with what you have written.
A person who overly identifies as a writer might make himself/herself miserable because writing is HARD and not the physically healthiest way to spend every waking hour but it’s only when you identify with what you have written that you feel the pull to lash out at agents.
I suspect a healthy writer needs to be a bit like a shark — you have to keep moving to live. You write and then you move on. And by moving on, you get enough distance from what you have written to (1) improve it because you’re less blinded by seeing it as YOU and (2) you recognize that rejecting it does not mean rejecting YOU. A rejection doesn’t nullify who you are unless all you are is that product.
If you are the product, then you’ll do ANYTHING to sell it because only by the acceptance of the product do you feel validated. You’ll even email every agent on the planet once a week hoping that you’ll wear them down into seeing the value of that product…you’ll do whatever you have to do when the product is you.
When something I have written is rejected, I’m unhappy. I was hoping to trade that slice of life, time and talent for the means to help support my family — but I’m not destroyed because by the time I’m rejected, I’ve moved on and my writing passion is in a new product and I’m believing most in that one.
I don’t consider my writing novels to be a hobby, even though I haven’t been paid for it yet.
I equate hobbies with relaxation. Writing can definitely be a form of meditation and release, but it ain’t relaxing for me.
I don’t believe most who spam agents or are surly call themselves writers. They’re too focused on wanting to sell their books for millions of dollars, or approval or any other external form of gratification.
Writers write. How to avoid the mental traps associated with the craft? Allow yourself to be present with your writing. The rest is out of your hands.
I think that writing has to become your life, especially when you are working on something as bulky as a novel. You need to maintain mastery over your material, and if you don’t work at it for a day you find its power dissipating, and it can take a while to get it back. When I was younger I failed to work everyday and as a consequence I have so many half-finished novels.
I define myself as a writer. It is my way of life. HOWEVER, I do not take rejection personally. The writing I do for myself, if I can sell it, make money from it, or even just have someone read it and enjoy it, then it’s a bonus. What I think you have to do is create two personas. The writer and the writer-for-publication. Seperate the emotion from the work once it is complete. Once your work is seeking publication it is no longer your own. It is your, to use a horrible cliche of this industry, your child grown up, seeking thier own fortune. You just have to let go.
It took many years and trials for me to realize I *was* a writer, and I *had to be* a writer. It wasn’t just something I could squeeze into my spare time–it was the only thing I could do and still be happy.
So, did I go out and immediately try to get published? No. A writer is a writer whether one is published or not.
First: I started writing for myself, instead of writing what I felt the industry wanted.
Then I actively sought a job where writing was the main activity. I’ve only been able to find temporary jobs writing, but I’ve done well enough the last few years. I’ve worked as a technical writer, mostly, and am now in communications.
You see, there is a difference between being a writer and being a published author. I can’t help but write – it’s a talent connected to my soul. Being published is a dream, but it’s not why I’m a writer.
An artist is an artist whether their work appears in galleries or ads. A pilot is a pilot whether they fly jumbo jets or prop planes. A writer is a writer whether they are published or not. And whether it’s what defines them or not is a matter of passion.
Now, the folks you are talking about are unrealistic and unprepared. You find folks like these in every profession: they want to be great without paying their dues. They don’t usually last long in the profession or get very far. They are the actors who move to L.A. in the hopes of being ‘discovered’ without learning to act. They are the B.Admins who can’t be bothered networking but complain they can’t get an ‘in’. They want it all without working for it.
Please don’t confuse these people with writers. They’re wannabes, only, until such a time as they start working for it instead of complaining about it.
Nathan, I with you 100%. Writing is an activity…a and rewarding rewarding, but still just an activity. I think when you look at great writers, they never take themselves too seriously.
It’s like Auburn’s football coach used to say…when you realize football is just a game, you’ll play it better than you ever have.
All the pressure people put on themselves stifles creativity. The books that I start and put down are not the light, fun ones, but the ones who seem to take themselves too seriously.
Slumdog is a great example of tacking some pretty serious topics in a light and fun sort of way.
OK…let me try that first paragraph again…this time in English
Nathan, I’m with you 100%. Writing is an activity…a rewarding one, yes, but still just an activity. I think when you look at great writers, they never take themselves too seriously…
Sorry, but I take myself too seriously to let that one slip… 🙂
Thanks for the reminder.
I think of myself as a writer simply because I love creating stories so much.
But neither do I want to end up a fruit basket.
I guess emotionally separating yourself from your novel would be a good idea before you send it out into the world.
Wow, there are a lot of comments here. I’ll just throw my hat in the ring.
I try not to identify myself with what I do, but rather who I am. If I’m at a party or function and someone asks me what I do, I say I am writing a book. Or I’ll say I’m an aspiring author. But it’s not who I am.
My book happens to be a very personal and therapeutic project for me. I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer last year and sought to find other survivors who were in the same boat but beat the odds. It helps me to interview these people and write about them.
I want it to be published so others can benefit from reading their stories. If I have to, I’ll self-publish it. I’m not going to let rejections stop me from my higher purpose.
I think this is a crazy question. One day we wake up and realize that writing is no longer a hobby. We’re working and playing with these fascinating words and doing a damn fine job of it. Doesn’t matter what other people call us. We’re writers now, plain and simple.
Nathan,
If anything, the madness in these comments proves just how obsessed people can become with writing (and hobbies in general). Someone said writing isn’t a hobby because it’s real tough and time consuming. I would believe that except I’ve put huge amounts of time and effort into video games. Is it my job now? My calling? Pfft. What about chess, for which I pulled all-nighters, entered tournaments, read chess books, watched computer tutorials, joined clubs, etc.? No longer a hobby? I could expand this list. Trust me. But it wouldn’t make us unpublished writers any more published.
I was one of the posters who got huffy about the word hobby….okay, now I take a deep breath and really read the post…I used to throw around the word “writer” a lot to define myself, perhaps to make myself sound more impressive, but I don’t anymore. And no, I try to keep my life very full, so that publishing/writing process doesn’t define me…which is where those hobbies come in (I’m sure glad I have them), not to mention family, travel, reading blogs,(: and oh, and working a full-time job. I highly recommend having other things in your life that give you joy and satisfaction. Even if you get published (which I have been), it brings in a new set of problems (how come no one is buying my book etc).
You know what I found fascinating about reading the post and all the comments? The way many people seem to have a different view on writing, AND what it takes to be considered a professional in this business.
I interpret the world through writing and reading. I love to do both, and I do feel like something’s missing if I don’t get the time to do one or the other every day. It’s like some folks who love to paint or run. So, yes, I see myself as a writer. (My tax returns says homemaker. And many folks give me a stuffy raised eyebrow over that.) But I understand this is only my opinion because a lot of people use the words writers, authors and novelists interchangeably.
I do understand what you mean about people who become very aggressive over being a writer. I help moderate a large writing site, and I see the different personalities and definitions played out there. It’s a tricky minefield at times because some folks refuse to respect another’s opinion. I think it comes down to those who see writing as their only lifeline to the world. They feel they have to succeed and get angry/combative with those that do land a contract, hit the NYT bestseller lists or get a three book deal that they felt they deserved. It’s everything to them. Some feel they have to suffer. I’ve heard writers say they don’t enjoy the process anymore. The suffering part is what gets me. I suppose the question I have to them is, why write? Life is too short to put yourself though this if you don’t enjoy it.
Anywaaaay…I’m babbling. Thanks for the interesting discussion.
I think you’ve nailed it when you advise against allowing the “publishing process” rather than “writing” to become definitive. Founding too much of your identity in something over which you have limited control is terribly dangerous, and I suspect many of the Randy-type folks you’re talking about have just such an invisible modifier. What they mean when they say “writer” is “published writer.” And that’s where the spam and madness starts – in this desperate attempt to achieve an aspirational identity. To them, rejection feels like denial of who they must become in order to exist. To a writer with an unmodified identity, publication may still be a goal, but it isn’t *the* goal. Writing is the goal.
I have a good friend who’s an artist and has never tried to sell a painting. I don’t think she could part with a single one. They decorate her apartment, stack in her closet, and document her past and dreams. Their creation defines and reflects her. So she’s an artist who teaches school — defined by what she does, not for money, but for love – which no industry can deny or sanction.
I think, as with most things, it comes down to balance and priorities. Assigning your identity to any ONE thing is pretty excessive in my opinion. Writing is part of my identity, not its sole existence.
Nathan,
I agree with everything you said. For me personally, if I can’t write I feel like I’m not getting enough air but I will not call myself a writer until I am getting paid to do it. That feeling of not getting enough air will be there whether I get published or not. Whether I ever get published or not I will continue to write because I love it but in my life I wear a lot of hats and as much as I love writing I think any single label is too narrow to define a person. But for me personally I do not have a desperate need to be able to CALL myself a writer. I just want to write.
For the record (why do I keep saying that like I’m an attorney?) – I just want to say I don’t think it is agents calling writers hobbyists that is the problem. It’s actually the other writers that want to demean writers that are doing it as a hobby. I do view my writing as a hobby in all honesty. But the word drips with condescension when writers that are published or doing it as a career throw it around as if hobby writers are the bain of their existence preventing them from having a respected title because now “everyone can be a writer if they just say so.” (put very sarcastically)
I didn’t get the impression that you were being negative towards those that write as a hobby. I personally just went off on a mini-vent because I’ve been thinking about it for a while (and have recently run into those that have an issue with hobby writers).
I am a writer. I do write as a hobby. People who write poorly and never plan on letting anyone read their work are still writers. But because of other writers that feel there needs to be a classfication system, I call myself an “aspiring” writer.
The whole world is always trying to fit titles into a classification system (there is even a “professional” list where it places professions in order of importance floating around the internet somewhere – that’s just sad).
But being a writer doesn’t identify me as a person only. It is one piece of me. I think that was the point you were getting at. That when your only identity is “writer” that is when it gets dangerous since there is no balance. Everything is personal and everything is internalized when their writing is who they are and ONLY that. Nobody wants to be told that who they are, isn't what society wants. So when that is their only identity and only defining piece of their life it can be tragic.
I think that is where it gets hard for agents. They have to deal with those people that put it all on black. But when it lands on red, the agent has to deal with the consequences.
Someone else rambled off their identities and I really liked the way it was put. It is something I've seen a lot of people doing on their blog profiles (including myself).
By the way…
I AM A KRAFT MACARONI & CHEESE CONNOISSEUR!
Wow 373 comments. I’m late, but this is probably one of the most important posts I think I’ve ever read about writing.
And the most important line is at the end…don’t let your work “define” you.
Wow, Nathan. I check in once a day to your post, and typically, I check to see how many comments you’ve received. (I don’t know. What can I say? As a CPA, I’m a numbers person.) I knew right away, you either struck a nerve or one of the people who commented did. When I read the post, my first reaction moved to “one of the commenters must have.”
Anyway, I got the point of your blog and agreed with it. I also read some of your later comments and am glad to know that you still had a good Tuesday. I bet that’s because you don’t live and die by this blog. It’s just something you do.
By the way, I appreciate you for your blog and your insight into the publishing industry, which is why I check once on most days.
Identity is a far ranging journey. If I defined myself as a writer–then what would I have to write about? None of us can stop there with one “I am”. We all explore our many faces in a book or poem, even in non-fiction. Even in life.
Whoa. Wait. I can’t shout to the rafters that I’m a connoisseur of reality TV? Crap! 😉
Great post, as always.
I think this is true of anyone who feels they have a career and not just a job.
Once the career consumes you, you are it and it is you.
Society doesn’t help because we’re so often defined by our work. You meet someone and they ask “So what do you do?” and they make assumptions based on the classic American standard of occupation-as-self.
Reading this post and the comments reminded me of one of Nathan’s old posts, in which he wrote something to the effect that he wouldn’t care if a prospective client submitting a query actually *hated* writing, he’d still represent the person if the story was good enough.
I think this is an important point to consider in light of this post, especially since Nathan didn’t seem to be just talking about what it means, in a vacuum, to be a “writer”. As I understood it, he was talking about tying your idea of self-worth to the publication process, or to the business of writing.
So, if, in the end, the quality and marketability of the story and the writing is all that matters, then maybe we’d all be better off if we just wrote (whether you like to or simply have to) and didn’t worry about labels.
I am a theater person. It started as an interest and an extracurricular project. It became my minor at school. It has become an addiction.
How many times have I tried to quit theater and find a real job? I spend hours upon hours working on this show or that show for no pay, while still trying to hold down a real job, and the result is that I am always exhausted. Now I’m considering giving everything up to pursue opening a children’s program that I could run full-time. But whether or not I am working in theater at the moment, I will always be a theater person, because that is the context in which I frame my life. I accept jobs based on whether or not rehearsal nights are available.
When I call myself a writer, it’s a similar connection. I may not be published or working on a project at the moment, but I will be. Either situation could become a healthy pursuit of one’s goals or a crippling addiction. It’s the writing addicts you have to watch out for.
Nathan,
Now you know how difficult it is to choose the exact right word for the exact right place. I think that is why it means more to us than it should. We spend hours deliberating over one word in a sentence. Words & plots fill almost every free moment of our time. Writing does define a large part of most of our lives.
The writers that are psycho, are just part of larger group of psychos that exist in every occupation, and every walk of life. Sorry your any more special than the rest of us when it comes to dealing with lunitics, and no matter what you do or say you will change that. Although if you keep reminding the ones of us that are on the edge, you may prevent another from falling over.
Put more simply:
With every submission, you’re either good enough and lucky enough to get published, or you’re not.
With every subsequent submission, your “goodness” and “luckiness” may vary.
For me, that’s enough to worry about.
Let me try that again.
I meant “bane” not “bain”…sigh.
And yes, I do that a lot.
I believe, to each his own. We should define ourselves the way we want to define ourselves. If you want to define yourself as a writer, football player, Internet hacker, or whatever. Do your thing!
The insanity of getting wrapped up in one’s own identity makes some people aspire to genius as much as it crushes the spirit of others. That’s how Academy Awards, Nobel Peace Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, and the like are won.
Does your journey make you any less “your identity” than you are once you arrive at your destination – wherever that may be? I don’t think so. The journey is what gives you the experience and skills you need to get where you’re going and to stay there once you’ve arrived.
So, I’m a writer on a journey. I’m soaking up life’s hard lessons and the publishing industry’s hard lessons on the way to success. I’m becoming a better (stronger) author so that once I’m published, I’ll have some staying power.
But at the end of the day, I’m a writer. I was a writer in my yesterdays and today, I’ll be a writer tomorrow and always. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m reminded of this Alex Reigerism from Season 1 of Taxi; he’s in the cab depot, speaking to a new hire about his fellow cabbies: “You see that guy over there? Now, he’s an actor. The guy on the phone, he’s a prizefighter. This lady over here, she’s a beautician. The man behind her, he’s a writer. Me, I’m a cab driver. I’m the only cab driver in this place.”
Me, I’m a writer, but a sumbitting writer–sort of like an auditioning actor. I’ve been a working writer and want to be so again. What I don’t want to be is a “writer” who writes 17 never-published novels. In my book, that’d just make me a chump.
Cheryl said, “What I don’t want to be is a “writer” who writes 17 never-published novels. In my book, that’d just make me a chump.”
Wow. Really?
I came really late to the party so I hope I’m not repeating something someone else has already said.
The great Robert Heinlein said, “There’s nothing wrong with making a living by writing as long as you do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”
I concur.
Inherent in this particularly enlightening blog post, (despite the mild protestation by Mr. Bransford that he’s not making a judgment), is a prejudgment.
Who really knows what a writer is thinking if/when they make declarative statements such as, ‘writing is who I am.’ I certainly don’t. And far be it for me to take the liberty of assuming that of which I do not know, because it will, without question, be an offensive and an incendiary issue if I brought it up like Mr. Bransford did. Nobody likes to be psychoanalyzed, even when they pay to be.
None of which is to say, however, that Mr. Bransford was wrong to posit the question, since we don’t really learn unless we opine and question things. Out of rabble can come a lot of wisdom.
For instance, how many of us really know whereof we speak, when we constantly label a misguided writer a whack job or a crazy, simply because they seem to walk the path of self-destruction by their negative reactions to rejection or something of that ilk?
And its ever so much easier, imho, to label and judge, rather than to silently contemplate with compassion aforethought, writers or authors driven to self-immolation.
Mr. Bransford had a legitimate and empathetic concern for writers who continually do this, since he probably sees this on a daily basis. It’s to his credit, really, and other agents like him who earnestly strive to understand what makes so many of these talented writers and authors tick.
This is why I think the issue raised in this post was an important one.
What keeps me writing and submitting despite seemingly endless rejections is thinking of myself as a craftsman. Yes, what I do as a writer is art and I have to put some of myself into it, but I also have to consider it my job (or that it will be my job some day). When I’m telling myself that I need to get my butt in front of my computer and write every day, I’m treating it as a job, something I have to report to every day. When I’m writing, it’s art. When I’m submitting, it’s business again. So, I can’t get mad at an agent or editor who rejects me because it’s all business. Not personal. Considering myself a craftsman, rather than purely an artist, has helped me treat all the aspects of writing and publishing as I should.
Hi Nathan,
Just one voice among many and generally a lurker but I had to say something. I enjoyed your post and agreed with you. Some people get very passionate about what they do and defend it wholeheartedly. I think what they didn’t understand and I sure many will most likely try to correct me is that: Writing may be what you do, but it isn’t who you are. My question to all is: Take away the writing and who are you.
Hi,I’m Robin. Nice to meet you.
Plain and simple. I’m me. No labels.
I’ll be posting about this a bit later on my blog.
I get what you mean. But here’s my perspective.
I wrote and published for years and never called myself a “writer” because I was embarrassed I hadn’t been more successful.
But really, it’s an inextricable part of my identity. I can’t imagine a life where I’m not writing. I’m a writer just as I am a mother. When my kids are all grown up and living with their own families on the other side of the world, I will still be a mother. It’s just who I am.
So, instead of addressing slush piles, here’s what I really meant: the publishing industry is a business. This isn’t any great epiphany, and probably a snooze to read, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind. A pub house has to show a profit to stay afloat; they have budgets and financial goals, which seem a distant cousin to a writer’s passion. So, often great literary prose is rejected in lieu of a work that has mass appeal. I’ve received gift baskets that are so generous and elaborate they made my head spin and my heart race (due to large offering of Kona coffee, the good stuff). They were from people that had their manuscripts rejected and thought some pricey treats would sweeten me up. I’m already sweet, but that’s not the point. If I would have accepted a manuscript that I knew wouldn’t sell, I would have been out of a job; albeit, walking out with a six months’ supply of Vosges chocolate. So, if you want to call yourself a writer, then fine. But, keep in mind that the business that deals in writing is all business. One of the posts analogized writing as a relationship. If that’s the case, then you may want to think of the publishing industry as a womanizer. And, if that’s the case, tread carefully with your heart (and your identity).
You must have hit a nerve with this one.
I must be one of the ones that you have concerns about. I am a retired manufacturing manager and now think of myself as a writer.
When I was a working person I wrote short stories and articles for a news letter at the company where I worked. Now I work every day at making novels. I have one finished and two or three under construction. I have always been a reader and think that my stuff is better then most, but worse then some, of the things I read.
In conclusion I have come to identify myself as a writer. There is no need for concern as I am still at a point where I think that the reason I have not sold a book lies with in.
Nathan has a good point. Writing can be all-consuming. A writer needs to be able to laugh at himself and not take everything so seriously all the time. Rejections should be taken with a grain of salt. If one agent does like your work, another may rave about it.
It’s just part of life.
I AM A LURKER ON NATHAN’S BLOG!
Briefly delurking to say that I thought it was a great post. I have a few die hearts/literary elitists in my writing group and they drive me a little crazy. They spend a ridiculous amount of time bashing authors and calling EVERYTHING a cliche to the point that I wonder if they would ever be satisfied with anything they or others write. Usually I find this blog a bit of a relief with it’s more lighthearted tone and was saddened to see that a lot of that angst made it over here.
I personally think of writing as a fun hobby/activity. The moment it becomes unfun (yes, it’s a word, look it up) it’s usually a sign that I am doing something wrong and need to take a break.Yes, I would like to be published someday, but very few things in this world should be taken THAT seriously.
JS
Usually a lurker, this post hit a raw nerve. After four years of writing almost non-stop, I suddenly feel lost, or more accurately as if I have recovered from a delusional illness. Why on earth did I think, 1) I had something worth saying, and, 2) that I could say it better than anybody else?
Could I have avoided tying up my identity with writing? After all, I am successful in so many areas of my life and THIS is just a HOBBY. On reflection, I don’t think even if I’d been warned repeatedly and forcefully, I could’ve avoided this entanglement. But that leaves me with a difficult question. Is this crippling self-doubt the hallmark of an obsessive literary talent stepping up to the bar, or is it a justifiable reaction to facing up to the truth that I just ‘aint that special?
I’ve been thinking a lot about why this post upset so many people. And I think it has very little to do with writing, per se. I think people – all people – become upset when others try to judge or sway how they define themselves. And Nathan, I know it wasn’t your intent. I get that your intent was actually really good advice about living a balanced life and not letting the publishing world make or break your self-worth. But the original post communicated a hint of “this is how you should or shouldn’t define yourself.” People react strongly to that. How can any person tell another person how they should or shouldn’t define their identities? People come to me as a therapist for this very kind of advice and I *still* don’t tell people who they are or are not – it’s not my place and to do so is considered an abuse of my power as their therapist. I think people got so touchy because it appeared as if you were saying who should or shouldn’t call themselves a writer, or if it makes sense or not to feel deeply passionate or personal about your art when you’re not a professional artist. And why do all of us care about what you say? Because you’re a gatekeeper to this profession – and a well-known one at that. It would be the same as if a famous doctor commented on your health or an architect on the structure of your house, etc. You would take what they said into consideration and perhaps feel upset if it didn’t fit your own view. Anywho, I still really enjoy your blog. Even if it ruffled feathers, you managed to get 400 of us to really think about our identities as writers and even as people. Kudos.
~Amanda
Okay, I think everyone understood Nathan’s blog and got clarification early on if they initially misunderstood. He’s a busy guy who is doing all of us a favor by blogging, offering his professional knowledge and opinions. He’s reaching out to the writing community, sharing his time and energy. He’s providing a forum for all of us to meet in and exchange ideas. This is huge–agents are sooo busy. Appreciate it, lighten up, and BE NICE.
DV, President of the Nathan Bransford Protection Agency
I am defined by my writing, but my writing doesn’t define me. I’ve got a husband, two children, friends, interests and a life outside my work. I’ve got to write, always have, but it’s not fun. It doesn’t pay the mortgage. It just is.
Dang, people. If this post bothered you…I have bad news for you. You’re not going to make it in the publishing industry.
That’s funny…actually I’m making it just fine. Why would ANYONE’s reaction to a post about whether it’s mentally healthy to self-identify with being a writer (and whether self-identifying with being a writer is related to industry manners) have the vaguest thing to do with their success in the industry.
So far, always agreeing with Nathan hasn’t been on the secret insider quiz.
I’d have to take issue with the person stating (albeit lightheartedly) that people shouldn’t take issue with what Nathan says.
I actually think this has been one of the most stimulating threads on this blog for a while BECAUSE people did exactly that. I don’t think Nathan would have any dispute it with it either.
Debate is healthy.
I don’t know, Nathan. I consider myself as partially defined by the fact that I write, though I don’t proclaim it from the rooftops (unlike “I AM A REALITY TELEVISION CONNOISSEUR!”, which everyone should shout from the rooftops). Partially because I am currently unpublished, I don’t feel comfortable saying that my identity is as a writer. I don’t make a living from it and I know few people do.
But I certainly believe it is intrinsic to my being. If I don’t make a point of writing, even the smallest amount, every day, then I feel that I am skipping some integral part of living. As if I missed a heartbeat somewhere. I honestly feel that strongly about it.
That being said, I don’t use “I am a writer” as an excuse for my flaws, or a reason to treat others with less respect, or to disregard advice by non-writers. And certainly I don’t make a point of treating agents and other book professionals disrespectfully because they don’t understand “my” vision. Even if they will not take my work on for whatever reason, I’m not going to tell them they don’t understand me as a writer. But I do ask that they respect my being one.
Okay, I guess I am a writer. But I’m not getting my knickers in a twist about that fact. Still, when that identity is questioned, it does provoke a defensive response, and maybe that’s where you’ve run into trouble before. I’m comfortable enough in my own skin not to lash out at people, but others lack that security.
I’m just a cowgirl who likes to bs and spin a yarn. Guess that makes me a writer, though it doesn’t define who I am. If it was the only thing I had going on in my life, my protags would probably all be writers. They’re not.
When I attended an American military university I was known as the “Infantry chick”, because I had been in the Infantry. When I rode bucking horses, I was known as the “Bareback Rider” to the point where I really didn’t have my own name anymore. I’m no longer in the Army, and I gave up rodeo. I’m still here. Those things defined who I was quite a bit less than most people realized. These days I’m proudly known as “Mom”, and that is one definition that will stick with me for life. I guess “writer” would be somewhere in between. I’m never going to quit writing, but it is far from an all encompassing title.
Does publishing (or attempting to publish) necessarily come with a “writer” identity?
For me, I consider myself a writer because I process things through putting words on a page. And because it’s a skill I have that’s very useful in the workplace. And because I love doing it. And because my friends know that it’s a big part of my life.
Sure, I’d like to be published someday, but then maybe I’ll call myself an “author” – don’t you think we can and need to separate writing identity from publishing identity?
I think you can identify yourself as a writer and never pursue publication, or pursue it in a healthy way. It’s when you pursue it in an idolotrous way, where you look to writing to save you, to define you, that you become all kinds of crazy. We weren’t meant to have something like “publication” at the apex of our being, and we start to crumble.
This post left me feeling conflicted. While I’ve never been anything but gracious toward any and all rejections I’ve received, I find that writing very much CAN be a part of one’s identity without going overboard.
There is something daring and pure about calling oneself a writer. As was previously mentioned, it can often take a long time to admit such a thing, but really, writers aim to share parts of themselves with a world that, as Nathan pointed out, is very much attuned to hiding themselves in an effort to avoid appearing weak.
As realistic and tough as the world is, it would die without stories to make us think, and to make us hope. At the least, we need escape from life, and the proof of that is in weekend box office receipts, video game sales, the NYT bestseller list, and any other way of measuring the stories consumed in various mediums.
Writing comes in many different ways, but many writers do so because they are introspective and more than a bit conscientious. It is a growing process, but worthy stories come from all sources. I believe the writer that embraces the “writing” side of their person is better off. Some are just plain born to write; it CAN be part of their identity, without becoming the bane of agents and editors!