I’m back!
Hello. Nice to see you.
First up, an update on the Be An Agent for a Day contest. Thank you so much to the hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds) of you who have volunteered your query. When I started I thought, “I sure hope I can get 50!” That was misguided.
I’m going to finish up automating the 50 lucky queries over the weekend, and I’ll set a “Tips and Reminders” post to go live at 7:45 AM Pacific time Monday morning. The queries will start posting automatically starting at 8:00 AM. I’m definitely excited to see how this will go!
Meanwhile, there was a week in publishing, and I was following it even when I was in Tulsa. Publishing: I’m watching you.
Pretty big news from HarperCollins, who will be publishing two posthumous Michael Crichton novels. The first is about pirates, which sounds like a pretty awesome combo, and then the second is going to be one that’s finished by another author. Hmmm…
In grammar news, John UpChurch wants to make sure you know your en dashes from your hyphens. That sounded dirty.
My esteemed and wonderful colleague Ginger Clark was interviewed by her client Gretchen McNeil about her response to AgentFail, including why it’s not as easy as one might think to set up automated responses to queries. Allow me to add my own four cents: 1) separate e-mail addresses are a pain, 2) you don’t want editors and your clients getting annoying auto-replies when they accidentally trigger the keywords, 3) auto-replies are hardly fool proof, 4) it’s all up to the agent anyway. There. You almost have a nickel.
Agent Rachelle Gardner has been bringing it with the awesome blogs lately, and she has an excellent post this week about what your queries say about you. We agents read a lot between the lines.
I forgot to put this in last week’s TWIP, but on April Fool’s Day Kassia Kroszer linked to some (fake) book smell products and said,”enough with the smell of books, already!” And you just know I’m with her. No one gets into a car and says, “Gee, I sure wish this car smelled like a horse.”
In publishing terminology news, The Book Publicity Blog explains the difference between advertising and publicity. The primer: advertising = bought. Publicity = exchanged.
The French have declared war on piracy. Let’s hope they win this time. UPDATE: They surrendered.
And finally, you know those articles about self-publishing that make it sound like self-publishing is the easiest way to riches since being born an oil heiress? Well, Victoria Strauss has a hilarious breakdown of the way these articles are always written. Take a few success stories, subtract crucial details, and add a dash of “the publishing world will never be the same” and you have yourself an article!
Have a great weekend!
Hi Nathan,
Thank you for all the clarity on the Query Competition. Unfortunately, much as I cleared my calendar to be able to participate, I have just received some bad family news and so cannot commit to anything as may have to fly home at moment’s notice.
Will be watching from the sidelines, cheering everyone on.
Sarah
I always wondered if agents were reading between the lines with queries. We all do it.
RG’s post really is a classic example of how important it is to show rather than tell.
You know, it’s a good thing I have nothing to lose, since I’ve only written a page and a half.
Besides, if I ever get around to writing something, it will be so unbelievably fantastic, brilliant, stunning, intelligent, clever, super-fantastic and marketable, that people won’t care that I’m ‘difficult’.
Um, does bragging about things that you haven’t even written yet count?
Great post, Nathan. Welcome back.
About the ghost-written Crichton novel, I hope they’re careful. Style is impossible to mimic, but in Crichton’s case it’s more about plot anyway, I guess.
And I’m with those in awe of $25k advances. That would feel like all the money in the world. Writers really need to listen to what Rachel is saying, though. No one lands the mate of their dreams by unrolling a scroll of how great they are. Classic sales techniques warn you away from pushing, because of exactly what she said, “people push back”. Believe in what you’re doing, but take the sale away a little. Make them come for it. It’s how the dance goes.
Lastly, I really don’t see the point in a auto-reply, other than maybe to say you’ve received their query. If agents simply say, “We’ll get back to you within a few days if we see a fit or not at all”, that really should be enough. If an agent wants to send something more personalized, they can at their discretion.
On that note, I’d like to report that an agent did exactly that to me last week. She had nice things to say about my full, but was honest that she didn’t know how to sell it. I would have relished the task of offering some ideas, but that’s not how it works. Sure, I had to tag her with an email almost two months after I sent it to get that response, but the little feedback she provided sent me in what will hopefully be a better direction.
No one gets into a car and says, “Gee, I sure wish this car smelled like a horse.”
Actually, my car does smell like a horse, and I like it like that. 🙂 However, I’ve never even noticed what a paperback book smells like.
Not weighing in on responses or auto-responses. If you wanted to utilize auto-response without aggravating your other correspondents, here are some steps that you could take (though it relies on people actually paying attention to your submission standards so it is not fool proof).
Since you ask for queries by email, add to your standards that the subject line start with **QUERY**. If you are using Outlook (which I will assume that you do), you can then create a New Query folder and apply a filter for the word “**QUERY**” in the email subject to be routed directly to that folder. Be sure to exclude responses from the filter. You can also establish a macro that any emails send to that folder receive an autoreply, thus replying to any new query you receive while avoiding replies to other colleagues or any continuing conversation to that query.
I hope that helps.
Some people order every magazine going, from Reader’s Digest to Popular Mechanics. Why? Because it makes them feel as if they have friends in the world who will write to them. Sneer. What better way to make cranky writers forget queryangentfailidiocy than to invite hungry writers to your publishing laden table for a few leftovers. It reminds me of the seventies and Welcome Back Kotter. Remember Arnold Horshack, his ass dancing in his seat with his hand held high: OOH OOH! Mr. Kotter, Ask me!!! Can you imagine this level of idolatry from Margaret Atwood or Salman Rushdie? Good god this is beginning to look like cattle call for desperate and aging B movie actors. I also get a decidedly cult like feeling here.
Just goes to show you, people will follow anyone with a silver tongue. Unfortunately, the tongue in question here is more of a nickle plated than silver.
valbrussel,
Well, I disagree – I think Nathan’s purpose is to ask writers to empathisize more with the position that agents are in. (Please feel free to rewrite that sentence into some sembalance of good grammer. I would do it myself, but I have no conception of good grammer. Obviously.)
I don’t think it’s a bribe to make writers forget anything.
I also don’t like anyone giving Nathan a hard time but me.
Not that that should stop anyone. I’m just saying.
valbrussell,
It’s interesting how you interpret this. I’m not sure I see the logic of how writers are demeaning themselves by a supposed scrabbling for scraps. It’s a simple volunteer contest, with, I think, a learning opportunity at its core. That’s why a lot of writers are interested, because having a chance to see a query slushpile is quite probably informative. Partly idle curiosity, perhaps, to see what life is like on the other side of the slushy fence, but mostly an active curiosity driven by good ol’ fashioned self interest (and I don’t say that as a bad thing).
Critique is helpful, and often necessary – both giving it and receiving it. Here is an opportunity for both. Everyone has a chance to critique, to evaluate, to see what works and what doesn’t – both for readers and in terms of publishability. And for the happy 50 chosen there is also a chance to receive helpful feedback. When the real query submissions come around they’ll be the better for it.
I just don’t see how this basic dynamic connects to your assessment of the situation. Idolatry? How so? I think a lot of writers see opportunity – and an opportunity framed in an entertaining contest (who doesn’t like winning free stuff?) and held in what is generally a safe venue.
While I probably won’t be playing myself, I’ll likely look on. I think there’s value in doing so, and I’m guessing there are a lot of writers who see it the same way – and would see it so regardless of the source or the timing of the event.
Just my two round and shiny bits of copper.
My best,
Bryan Russell
p.s. I must say, though, that your name is simply stunning. I automatically think of you as intelligent and attractive… 😉
So, valbrussel, is jumping onto an agent’s blog to whisper some thinly veiled inner torment the way forward, or should we just tuck away some bitter about Twitter poetry on our blog? 😉
I wouldn’t confuse genial blog comments as evidence of satisfaction. This is a place to learn. Why not try that instead?
A place to learn and a very nice community, I would add.
Bryan,
I’m sure you can tell by my name that I’m intelligent and stunningly attractive. Um. Or is it the reverse – dumb and terribly hideous?
I always get those confused.
So, when are you going to come over and hang out at my blog?
There are lots of intelligent and stunningly attractive people there with very attractive and stunningly cool names.
valbrussel, you come too.
You too, Scott.
Actually, everyone come over. You get to practice first person voice in a very fun context.
Here it is. Come here:
https://comeincharacter.blogspot.com/
Bryan, I expect to see you add your intelligence and stunning attractiveness to the mix asap.
Everyone else too.
That was a shameless plug, in case anyone wondered.
But it really is a cool place. We’re having fun there. Tomorrow, Ms. Fettleston is hosting a tea.
re valbrussel
I think we all need to get together for a nice group hug ‘cos that nasty writer hurt our feelings!
Shucks!
Feed the trolls, one should not.
Well, this isn’t feeding the troll (at least I think not), but the reason I am paying attention to the contest is to hopefully learn some things about what makes a good query. Plus, if mine is one of the onces chosen, I get a free critique.
Plus, it’s definitely entertainment! Like a reality show for writers.
I meant “ones chosen.”
Word verification: Roger. Over and out!
If I can’t stand the smell of a new car, but I love the smell of horses, am I still allowed to comment on queries?
bukash – i always seem to come after you but you make me laugh each time!
As for valbrussel (why do i keep wanting to type valkyrie)…anyhoo! I think since the queries we (our Bransford Community not to be confused with the Stepford community though it has it’s similarities) tend to see posted on agent blogs always are the worst of the worst or the best of the best, we are jumping at the opportunity to see a wider variety of in the middle (*cough* mediocre). The advice could be invaluable to this plane of queries.
If we are all authors and aspiring writers that have an edge on society (because of our VON-derful agent-bloggers great writerly advice) then we might actually see some queries that are on our same playing field. OR we may get a shock into reality.
Something tells me it will be an eye opener. Can’t wait! Counting down the minutes!
GOOD news in publishing this week. I was so expecting you to mention this! Romance novel sales are UP. They were listed on U.S. News’ “10 Winners in the Recession.” Maybe I’m the only one excited about it, since romance is one of the things I write? Anyway, here’s the excerpt if anyone’s interested:
But the most intriguing entry was the third item on U.S. News’ list: bodice-ripper novels. Harlequin, still the biggest name in serial romances, saw a $3 million gain, year to year, in North American sales in the fourth quarter of 2008. (By contrast, book sales in the general marketplace are down slightly.)
It’s so easy to poke fun at contemporary romance novels that there’s really no sport in it. The plots, by definition, are formulaic; the prose manages to be at once overwrought and underdeveloped; the covers, well, they’re where that famous, flaxen-haired slab of manhood named Fabio got his start. But romances have long dominated sales of mass-market paperbacks (which, in turn, dominate sales of books in general).
It’s not exactly a surprise that the romance novel business would be pretty recession-proof; as bad as things get, a lot of people – OK, mostly women – can still afford a $5 paperback.
But, in parsing the titles listed on Harlequin’s Web site, it struck me that the real reason serial romances are thriving is not just because they’re the ultimate escape fantasies but because, in their own way, they are that Holy Grail of marketing and business – they offer something for everyone.
Among Harlequin’s 10 imprints are dozens of categories and sub-categories, including medical romance, Christian romance, paranormal romance, suspense romance and even NASCAR romance (titles include Checkered Past and Black Flag, White Lies). Unexpected pregnancy scenarios are popular across categories, as are single-mother situations. I even saw one book about an unwed pregnant woman courted by a man who isn’t the father of her baby but wants to be. He also happens to be super hot.
See, you forgot about the economy for a second there, didn’t you?
If there’s anyone who’s predisposed to being snobby about this genre, it’s me. But even I can understand the impulse: Isn’t “the quest for true love” really just code for something else, namely the search for a sense of safety – financial and otherwise – in a precarious world?
You don’t have to like romance novels to know what uncertainty feels like. All you have to do is follow the financial news. In fact, given that many Americans are feeling as distrustful of the bank bailout and the economic stimulus package as Harlequin heroines feel about their suitors, perhaps the term “escape fantasy” is a misnomer.
Maybe these books are recession-proof not because they offer an alternative to uncertainty but because they reflect it back at us – with a lot of sex thrown in (and a happy ending).
Oh, and No. 4 on the recession winners list? Condoms. Maybe Harlequin should ease up on those unexpected-pregnancy fantasies
Mira,
I absolutely adore that you disagree with me! 🙂
Bryan Russell,
The name does say it all doesn’t it? 😉
Scott,
Indeed. Learning is everything and my twitter is actually sweet not bitter and it appears you’ve been contaminated by my very bad verse. Tisk tisk, you were curious and looked at my very LOUD blog. 😮 I also never whisper because it’s exceptionally rude. Did I jump? No, I’m certain I pounced.
PurpleClover,
You witty devil you. 😉 Valkyrie indeed.
Nathan, thanks for the link, and here I thought I was the only one who cared about hyphens and en dashes. I may still be, but at least, I’ve dragged others with me now.
Oh, and to JohnO, HA and touché, but I am not to blame for the odd spelling. I’m also not to blame for the weird dichotomy of an editor with a funky spelling.
you guys are weird.
Q’s are so easy! Why all the stress? OK, the pitch part is hard, but the rest is just a simple business letter like you learned in junior high school.
I can’t help but think that all these people in here who need so much help with their letters probably need a lot more help with their actual books.
The Cult of Bransford has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it? I’m going to stop washing my hair and call myself Sunshine. Just don’t drink the orange cordial until I tell you all to, okay?
Word Veri: Wonka. Now I’m craving chocolate, thanks a lot!
Ok, after the surrender (again) of the French, you have a permanent fan… even if you keep rejecting me.
Stephanie, I’m not surprised by the Romance genre’s gains during the recession. Romance is all about Hope and Affirmation. Love is the primary motivation behind
Courage. We all need that during difficult times and a Romance novel is a fun place to find that kind of encouragement. Sure, there’s some sub-standard stuff, just like in all genres. However, there’s a lot of good stuff too.
😉
The romance fans I know will read no matter what. They are die-hard fans. They go through two or three paperbacks a week. Several women at work swap them. No, we haven’t gotten a raise in three years and money’s tight but they still are out there, every day, reading their romance novels on their lunch breaks. And writing romance is a lot harder than people think. I’ve found it much easier to free-flow and write what I want than to try to fit into the tight constraints of what Harlequin and Silhouette want.
Anonymous said –
Q’s are so easy! Why all the stress? OK, the pitch part is hard, but the rest is just a simple business letter like you learned in junior high school.
I can’t help but think that all these people in here who need so much help with their letters probably need a lot more help with their actual books.
Uh, yeah, well… it’s the pitch part that everyone struggles with!
And writing a query is totally different from writing a book. I have a fantasy novel with a very complex plot that I have rewritten the query for at least 30 times trying to nail down the key things someone would need to know while keeping it brief enough.
So, I’ll take all the help I can get. And I don’t think that’s any reflection at all on my writing.
How many books have you successfully sold, by the way? Just curious.
Word verification: Stinga
I meant, “manuscripts”, not copies of books, BTW.
Pirate books just make me feel so giddy. Will be waiting to read that one when it is ready.
Namaste, and stuff…
Dawn
Good morning, dears.
I am hosting a tea at Ms. Mira’s blog. I would love if you would join us. There are many delicious treats and tea to drink. We are having polite conversation, and are currently discussing the weather and movies.
Please do join us if you would like, dears.
Here is my address:
https://comeincharacter.blogspot.com/
I will try a special way:
Come In Character, Tea with Ms. Fettleston
I hope to see you there, dears.
Sincerely,
Ms. Fettleston
About queries – it seems to me every agent wants something different – each speaker is adament about how they should be written, and each different from the other. One says always have the names of your characters – the next says never write the names of your characters etc. etc.
Now if I were an agent, any query which came in smelling of horses would be accepted immediately. Is there any better smell? Well, new mown hay comes close.
By the way, my character is over having tea with Mrs. Fettleston. I sure hope she pops some treats for me into her bag, I’m hungry!
I just want to say that I think this Agent for a Day idea is genius…love the way you will format the day and I’m assuming (and hoping) that the contest will be on your public blog so all can see? I am very much looking forward to it Nathan!
Regarding Rachelle Gardner’s post on queries, it’s not only a problem of a writer having high expectations; but it is also the writer’s lack of respect for an experienced professional in publishing. When writers use the words “Nobel Prize” and “blockbuster bestseller” in a query, it gives the impression that they think they know more about publishing than the agent. Lovely way to begin.
‘The man who listens to reason is lost’ – GB Shaw
I’m totally lost. Must stop listening to agents for a while
“Take a few success stories, subtract crucial details, and add a dash of ‘the publishing world will never be the same’ and you have yourself an article!”
… yes, but do I have to publish that article myself?
Just found you today…lots of useful tidbits on your blog…many thanks!
I usually enjoy reading your blog, and I have to say that I respect what you do immensely. But I also think your Be-an-Agent-for-a-Day Contest is misguided.
Yes, I do understand that agents have been taking some hits in blogs recently. And you guys have it hard, too. You have a right to feel a bit defensive.
But if you’re going to teach writers how difficult it is to be agents, then writers are going to say, “Well, Nathan, let’s teach you how hard it is to be a writer!” Which means you’d have to write a novel and then try to get it published.
See the problem here?
The reality is we (Agents, Editors, and Writers) are all in the same business. We need each other. So instead of arguing over whose job is harder we should be trying to work together.
anon-
I’m not prejudging how people respond to the contest. Some people might feel like it’s fantastically easy to respond to 50 queries, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m just trying to peel back some of the mystery around the process.
I hope the pirate book is contemporary. They’re certainly headliners again after many decades of sailing below the radar. I feel a little left out after reading all the posts from people whose cars do smell like a horse. My car does not, but I like the smell of horse just fine.
And the French surrendered? I’m shocked.
Susan K,
I have three cars that smell like a horse, and I am trying really hard to keep the last one smelling new. You need one I can set you up, your choice actual horse and you can create your own Ode De Pony perfume or a car that already has the heavenly aroma. The latter is less work, but also less fun.
anon 5:10
Why so serious?
I don’t think Nathan’s intention was some ruse to “teach us a lesson” with a preconceived notion that we would fail miserably.
I took this “experience” to be a lighthearted gesture to role play for a taste of what they see. If he wanted us to sink he would have asked us to do more than 50 queries in a week.
JMO.
Knowing Crichton’s past works, I’d have to go with modern day piracy. However, he did write TIMELINE, which was partly set in medieval France. So who knows. Looking forward to finding out, though.
I guess the reason you don’t see many modern day pirate novels is because it’s not that glamorous–dirt poor countries writers know nothing about, oil tankers, LNG carriers, it’s an unfamiliar world to most people, and the ones who do know enough to write about it write non-fiction.
You might get some “hijacking” type of piracy stories where a yacht full of babes is taken over off the coast of Miami or something, but unless it’s from a guy like Crichton, I don’t think we’ll be seeing the real deal in a novel anytime soon.
Or Cussler. Cussler could handle modern day pirates.
Today is the day!
Yet where are all the lovely queries awaiting my judgement!?
Endless Secrets,
Pacific time, my good friend, pacific time! Allowances for all those lazy west coasters…
🙂
My best,
Bryan Russell
I would think a modern day pirate story would have to be told, at least in part, from the pirates’ POV. Something tells me today’s scallywags would lack a bit of swash and buckle to say the least. But to bring to light the culture and economic plight of a nation such as Somalia and then take it to the waters could indeed work if handled skillfully.
Again, the romance inherent in ye olde pirate tales might not be attendant, but I can imagine a plot where U.N. Forces are coerced into going inland to stop the problem at his roots, and then learning the truth about where it comes from, perhaps too late to stop a disaster at sea.
Heh, word ver: unrow v. sl. 1. the desperate and usually unsuccessful attempts of Somali pirates to return to shore once their assault lifeboats have been disabled in battle.
Nathan,
I have to respond to your comments about separate email accounts being a “pain” simply because I find this hard to understand. Millions of people use separate email accounts for convenience. Heck, I do. I use one email for my short story submissions, a separate one for my agent queries, one for registering on sites that might generate a lot of spam and a personal one.
A pain? Quite the contrary. It simplifies life immensely. I admit I got in that habit as a businesswoman. It is so easy to set up an email account and an auto-responce that I find refusing to do so on the part of so many agents a bit baffling. Often, all authors want to know is that their sweated over query didn’t disappear somewhere into the ionosphere.
And then agents aren’t sending auto-responses or digging through queries for other email. Honestly, what’s a pain about that?
Well sorry to cheat you since that’s probably only worth a ha-penny to your four cents worth.